Taking away the Pacifier

failuretofly

I know a few of you have taken sleep training as an opportunity to remove the paci from the equation with your LO. My DH and I decided last week that we should take away LO's paci as he was waking anywhere from 2-8x per night to have it replaced, and waking really early in the AM (like 4:30-5). We removed it on Thursday starting with his AM nap and after about 20 minutes of crying he was asleep and had a good nap, the next nap was only 2 minutes of fussing then asleep, but i found that he had managed to stuff the entire ear of his bunny lovey into his mouth, which is not ideal. That evening it was a scream fest at bedtime and it's been a scream fest for every nap/bedtime since unless I nurse him to sleep. It's gotten to the point now where he starts to have a full blown choking screaming meltdown as soon as we go up to his room to start our bedtime routine. I tried even switching up the order of the routine and it didn't help. I don't want to get into the habit of replacing the paci with nursing to sleep and I absolutely do not want to CIO. It's been 4 days and I'm at my wits end. I don't know if I should keep going or just give in and give it back.

stephanienjer

I try to get my LO to fall asleep without it, but if she wakes up in the middle of the night, I will occasionally replace paci. For us, it's not so much about sleeping, but that she keeps wanting to suck her thumb, and we do not want that. (We are of a mind that it's easier to take a paci away than a thumb.) Right now, we are working on sleeping. We'll tackle paci later. They don't have to go hand in hand. Do what you think is right. What works for someone else may not work for you, and likewise, you may have success with something that was an utter failure for someone else.

fishee333

Oh my, I'm sorry We took away the pacifier with sleep training and I'm so glad we did. Nighttime sleep was instantly better, which was my main focus anyway, and naps got a lot worse (LO trying to put herself to sleep without the pacifier) before they got better. I think I ended up nursing to sleep for naps about 50% of the time... more because the timing of her hunger and sleepiness than anything. She seemed to like it though. Maybe try picking one battle at a time? Like first night, then naps, or first pacifier, then nursing to sleep? I think sticking to and being consistent with whatever your plan is will probably be the most helpful though. And just remember it will get better! 

failuretofly

fishee333 said:

Oh my, I'm sorry We took away the pacifier with sleep training and I'm so glad we did. Nighttime sleep was instantly better, which was my main focus anyway, and naps got a lot worse (LO trying to put herself to sleep without the pacifier) before they got better. I think I ended up nursing to sleep for naps about 50% of the time... more because the timing of her hunger and sleepiness than anything. She seemed to like it though. Maybe try picking one battle at a time? Like first night, then naps, or first pacifier, then nursing to sleep? I think sticking to and being consistent with whatever your plan is will probably be the most helpful though. And just remember it will get better! 

What do you mean 'instantly better'? Did your LO not cry for the paci? If she did, did you just let her cry until she fell asleep? No one explains the HOW of how they did it  

fishee333

I'm sorry! 
By instantly better, I mean it was a tough first night at the beginning, getting her to fall asleep, but every night after that was a lot better. She went from waking up almost every 30 minutes wanting her binky to only once or twice a night to nurse, even that first night. Yes, she did cry though. After putting her to bed, we checked on her at 3 min, then 5 min, then 10 minutes. Then 10 min again, and I think that's when she finally went to sleep. There may have been another 10 min check though, I forget... it's been a while. She was crying for the majority of that, though it was never the full blown choking crying, and a lot of it was more fussing. I think we were really lucky with that though. 

jrouge12

DD can put her paci back in. CIO would have been worse without the paci. She needed her sleep fixed too much to worry about getting her off the paci. She doesn't need it in all night and sometimes just holds it. We still get nights with more crying than others. The binky is a lifesaver for us. I'm ok with waiting to stop the binky.

teachmegs817

I was thinking about doing something similar and/or taking him out of his Zippadee Zip and getting a sleep sack. We put 3-4 paci's in his crib to try and help him locate one where ever he may be in the crib at night, if he wakes. I don't think he quite realizes this yet, because DH and I are still going into his room at least 2 times throughout the night. Once 4:30/5 AM roll around, it's 2-3 times beyond that. Sometimes it's less, but it's been a few weeks since we've gotten a good 6-7 hour stretch out of him. He never stays awake for more than a minute or two, so it's not a huge deal, but we don't want to continue having to do this. Teething has also gotten us to think that this may be why we are frequently in there, soothing him. 

We decided to try and stop it after his 1st Birthday, and to hope it's gone all together by 18 months. Once the Fall/beginning of winter rolls around here in NY, we are thinking of ditching the Zippadee and using a fleece sleep sack. He will be sleeping in fleece sleepers majority of the time in the winter here, so we don't think it's necessary to keep him completely enclosed in something anymore. 

grkgdss00

We're battling the same thing. What I have found to be helpful is to give DD her paci with bedtime, but try not to replace it throughout the night unless she gets REALLY upset. Lately she's woken up a few times for it, but after some fussing puts herself back to sleep. The more and more she does this the easier it will be to take away the paci for good. She only gets it at bedtime or if we're out of the house and she has a meltdown (which is rare), so she's only getting it a few times per day now (naps and bed) and she usually spits it out after a few mins of sleeping.

teachmegs817

@grkgdss00 I so want to try not getting out of bed to replace it, unless he gets really restless too. How long would you say you're waiting until she's really upset? I fear that letting him cry in there for more than 2-3 minutes, will cause a whole other batch of issues. With teething in full effect too, I can't bring myself to hear him cry in there at night, because I know he's looking for relief. 

l4rk

The pacifier is a sleep association, so you basically have 2 options:

1. Sleep train to break the association
2. Accept it and live with it

There are lots of different sleep training methods you can try, but that's likely what it will take to break your LO of the habit. A baby isn't going to suddenly like not having their favourite method of soothing, so you have to teach them how to fall asleep without it.

@teachmegs817 I think you will confuse your LO even more if you wait a few minutes and then help. LO will learn fast that he or she just needs to cry enough and then you'll come.

teachmegs817

@l4rk At this point, I think we're going to accept it and live with it, with us trying to do little things to eventually break the association all together. Teething has put a damper on things in the sense that he likes to chew on it for some relief and he does initially take it when he sleeps. It never stays in, but has gone and grabbed others that we've left in there before, to get himself back to bed on his own. 

We have ditched the Zippadee and opted to not even go for a sleep sack. We've done swaddling, Merlin, Zippadee, a sleep sack when he was first born, so it finally feels good to just plop him in the crib with his onsie and jammies on, and not have to worry about that anymore.  That in itself has already improved his sleep. He is fully free to move about the crib and do whatever he needs to do.

grkgdss00

@teachmegs817 sorry for the delay in reply. It's not a set number of minutes, we go by fussing/crying. If she's just "fussing," then we don't go in. If it turns in to upset baby, then we will go in. I'd say about 75% of the time now she will put herself back to sleep alone.