How are babys made?

vibarra27

So DD asked me that when i got pregnant with the boys. 

I told her i went to the farm/store & bought some seeds, swallowed them & they grew in my stomach & i pooped them out lol. I told her i did the same with her.

She asked me again today, i think for reassurance. So i got to wondering, what did you mommas tell your kiddos?

TeacherMom210

DD#1 didn't ask, and we aren't having any more so I probably have a while. But I plan on telling her that when a Mommy and a Daddy love each other very much they can make a baby. I'll leave it at that until she's older. It's true but vague.

FatPony

My mom is a scientist, so she launched into a convoluted explanation of how the sperm fertilizes the egg. Oh, did I mention that I was ~4 years old when I asked? I was so confused bc I pictured a chicken's egg in my head. 

So yeah, that's one way to do it. 

Growingapepper

This is just my personal opinion but I feel the best way is to explain is to be honest. One day they'll figure out you lied and might be upset or even be ashamed to talk about bodily functions. If you aren't ready to get detailed about it there's always the option to be vague. Age appropriate explanations. I also heard that letting LO watch kittens or some farm animals be born helps them understand without having to give any explanation.

vibarra27

@TeacherMom210. Yes thats a good one, & its nice she hasnt asked. How oldbis she? my daughter is very like out there. She'll ask question after question. So telling her that wouldnt work for me lol. She would just say "okay i know you guys love eachother. But how were we made?" lol thats just how she is. Shes a little curious George haha.

@FatPony lmao thats hilarious. I didnt think about that haha. Then again im not a scientist lol but knowing my daughter shed say, "so you have eggs in your stomach? Why dont you buy them @ the store?" lol

@Growingapepper i just dont feel i need to tell her @ the age of almost 6 how i made her or her brothers lol. She didnt ask "where did they come from." but" how were they made." i just think its a fun way to keep her innocent. So many kids know so much these days. I didnt know much about sex/babys until i was 12/13 & my little sister knew @ the age of 8. I know times are different but DD is so curious like i mentioned & i think the "sex talk" is something she doesnt need now. She knows what her private parts are, how no one is allowed to touch her, precautions she needs to take etc. Like i said telling her i swallowed seeds & pooped them out was fun, she even got a little grossed out haha. In a way im telling the truth. I did eat the seeds, they did grow in my tummy, & i did poop them out just not through my butt lol.

shelbydd

im a believer in age-appropriate honesty, which is how my mom always was with me. If I asked where babies come from she told me "from their moms belly where they grow" if I asked how they were made she said "a mom and dad make them together." Generally over-sharing is where things get confusing for kids. my stepson is 12 and was conceived when my husband and his ex were 16 so the sex talk has become much more serious since he is looking at girls "in that way." I think around 9 is when he got the first talk that actually involved the word sex and a vague idea of what it meant, but it wasn't til this passed year after he turned 12 that the talk has involved using protection and what the consequences can be if you're not safe as well as making good decisions about sex. I don't think he will be doing it any time soon and some think it is too young to be going into detail like that- we don't, though. My sister has sex for the first time when she was 12, my husband when he was 14. Most of my friends were sexually active around 13/14.

LoveLee85

Well....I'm 31 years old and my mom and dad STILL haven't ever spoke of where babies come from?! I'm not even kidding. They also never told me about a period?! No joke. I have always bought my own pads and tampons with baby sitting money. I plan on being very open and honest with anything my LO asks. I just need to look up age appropriate answers so I can be prepared! LOL 

I use to think in my own head that when you got married, then you got to have a baby. LOL

All I know is I found out what sex was from a weird girl, at age 6, while we were all hanging out on her trampoline. They always find out...mine as well let it be a positive experience with you. I pretended like I knew what a penis was, but I had zero idea. :-P 

vibarra27

@shelbydd see thats how im doing it. She knows boys and girls have different body parts. Name of the body parts. That her body is hers & hers only. Not to let any one see/touch her body. Only im allowed & only if i need to check her or when shes in/out the shower. & only if i give her doc permission. She's asked me what sex is, i got kinda defensive but because i didnt think my 5 year old would ask me that lol. But i told her it was something she didnt need to know @ the moment she said okay & hasnt asked me since.

& i agree with you guys speaking to your stepson. I had sex for the first time @ 15 & when i had freshmen in my jewlery class when i was a jr some said they were 11 & 12 when they did it their first time. I was like omg @ that age i was still watching cartoons & playing with my siblings lol. So i do think middle school age is appropriate. 

@LoveLee85 really? Thats so weird. My mom spoke to me about sex & periods. But not about pubic hair lol. I freaked when i grew hair down there lol. So i also plan on being honest with DD but when the time is right. She knows what a vagina  & penis are. I mean she knows boys have a penis. Doesnt know what they look like. She knows mom & dads have babys together(i told her we choose the seeds together). But she doesnt need all the detail. I want my baby to be innocent for as long as possible. Will know when she will need the "all detailed sex talk." lol & to be fair i didnt know what guys penis' looked like & that they had hair only on their scrotum. A kid in the 8th grade drew a picture of "his" & i got really scared lol

Lol this post was supposed to be fun. To see what you've told your kids to keep them innocent & unintersted lol. Like i said DD was grossed out that she came out my "butt". Lol

TeacherMom210

@vibarra27 She'll be 3 this month, so she had just turned 2 when LO was born. She asks a lot of questions, too, I'm just lucky that she hasn't asked that particular one yet. I don't know how she'd take that answer.

vibarra27

@TeacherMom210 awh shes still tiny then! Mine will be 6 on the 27th going into 1st grade on the 8th so mine is definitely more curious

LoveLee85

vibarra27 said:

@shelbydd see thats how im doing it. She knows boys and girls have different body parts. Name of the body parts. That her body is hers & hers only. Not to let any one see/touch her body. Only im allowed & only if i need to check her or when shes in/out the shower. & only if i give her doc permission. She's asked me what sex is, i got kinda defensive but because i didnt think my 5 year old would ask me that lol. But i told her it was something she didnt need to know @ the moment she said okay & hasnt asked me since.

& i agree with you guys speaking to your stepson. I had sex for the first time @ 15 & when i had freshmen in my jewlery class when i was a jr some said they were 11 & 12 when they did it their first time. I was like omg @ that age i was still watching cartoons & playing with my siblings lol. So i do think middle school age is appropriate. 

@LoveLee85 really? Thats so weird. My mom spoke to me about sex & periods. But not about pubic hair lol. I freaked when i grew hair down there lol. So i also plan on being honest with DD but when the time is right. She knows what a vagina  & penis are. I mean she knows boys have a penis. Doesnt know what they look like. She knows mom & dads have babys together(i told her we choose the seeds together). But she doesnt need all the detail. I want my baby to be innocent for as long as possible. Will know when she will need the "all detailed sex talk." lol & to be fair i didnt know what guys penis' looked like & that they had hair only on their scrotum. A kid in the 8th grade drew a picture of "his" & i got really scared lol

Lol this post was supposed to be fun. To see what you've told your kids to keep them innocent & unintersted lol. Like i said DD was grossed out that she came out my "butt". Lol

Sadly, it's very common for zero communication in the sex and period department between kids and parents. I think it's weird, also! That's how they grew up. Strict and religious families that are cold and didn't talk about that kind of stuff. I have GREAT, amazing parents....just not open at all in any of that. That's exactly why I'm breaking the cycle of zero communication!!! Openness and honestly in my house only. I already tell my son, no means no. Also, since I only had a sister...I didn't even know what the word 'penis' was, let alone that it was a boys private part. Lol 

vibarra27

@LoveLee85 yes i agree.! My mom broke the cycle because my grandma didnt talk to my mom or auntys & uncle about it & they were clueless. My grandma was old school too, bow shes more open. & Im honest with DD too, just wont go into detail until the right time. Lol & i see about only having a sister, DD has 2 brothers & she asked me if they had a vagina like hers i said no that they had a weenie also known as a penis. She was confused to why they had different body parts lol. 

Yiggle09

Soo I didn't even know I had a second hole or what it was for or any of that till I had 5th grade health... They also taught me about pads deodorant sex etc. My plan when asked is to be factual while being age appropriate. Hoping I'll know it when the time comes. But I won't pretend like this stuff doesn't exist like my mother

vibarra27

@Yiggle09 yeah i agree. DD has asked me a bunch of questions & i answer to a certain extent. I would rather her know that way she knows she can trust me & come to me for advice.

RobsMrs77

i grew up in a family who was very open with their bodies. It was all very normal. I'd see my mum naked on a regular basis, although not my dad, lol. My mum made me feel very comfortable in my own skin. Even now it wouldn't bother me if mum saw me naked. At the age of 10 she sat me down on her bed and gave me the whole sex talk. She even drew diagrams! Haha. That was when I discovered the second hole! lol. My dad was always quite shy over anything to do with sex or periods. I think it was just the way he was raised (he was a non practising Sikh, brought up in Borneo) I also think the thought of his little girl growing up having periods (I started them at 12) and being sexually active was just a little tough on him. I was always daddy's girl. Mum's English, and was brought up very differently. She didn't go into details about orgasms or anything at that age, just said that adults do it not just to make babies, but because it's a way of mummy's and daddy's showing their love for each other. I've always been super close with mum, she's had her problems over the past few years, but Iooking back now, I admire the way she explained it.

 At around 12 years old when I got my period, she started talking about it again, but in more detail, this is when the orgasm convo came. I felt really comfortable with her talking about it and asking questions. So comfortable enough in fact that I told her the day after that I'd lost my virginity the night before. (I was 14) and the fact that I didn't have an orgasm!  Haha, she laughed and said 'don't worry love, you've plenty of time yet!' I'll never forget it. She then made sure I was using protection and asked if I felt OK about everything. She was ace. I was in a relationship with a boy, she knew him, and I'd been seeing him for a while, so it wasn't like I'd just gone out and had sex with some random lad - that she would have been fuming about! 
So, I've kind of followed suit with our 8 (soon to be 9) year old. He's very comfortable being naked, seeing me naked, and his daddy getting out the shower or whatever. I've never made it an issue. Why would I?
When I got pregnant with Jake he asked lots of questions, the bigger i got, the more deep the questions became. So I sat him down and explained how things worked. I felt he was at an age were he would understand, he's quite mature for his age, and it felt right. He looked a little embrassed at first, but then seemed to relax, asked me a few questions and away he went. I told him the same way as my mum did, minus the diagrams, lol.
Now we laugh and say 'Liam, you're having an early night tonight as mummy and daddy want to practise making babies' jokingly. His response?....'what, again?!'
 (I'm kidding by the way, sex is hard work at the moment! Having a child that doesn't sleep) 

but we do occasionally say that. Haha 

mill1020

There's a fantastic book for teaching your kids about this stuff.  You can start reading to them about it when they're still very young (like 2 or 3, even though the book is written for ages 7+ I believe).  My oldest two kids were pretty fascinated by it when they were toddlers, which was funny.

https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215