My mom has a history of guilting people. Yesterday, my husband and I bought a bassinet and wanted to show my mom what she thought about it. We were on the fence about it, just because we had another one in mind that was a bit cheaper.
My my mom then proceeds to tell us that we shouldn't have bought that and that she wanted to give me and my husband my old bassinet from when I was a baby that she still held onto. I'm 25 years old. So that's how old that thing is. Anyway, my brother recently had a son, and my mom went out and bought a pack and play for him which has a bassinet attached to it a couple of months ago. She also wanted to give this to us and we said sure but that we wanted to have our baby in a co sleeper. Anyway, we said we appreciated that and would like to use it.
Back to to the old bassinet....basically my husband was like "it's ok we don't have to take it down" (from storage in the garage) and she started getting defensive and asked him "why does no one want my stuff " and then he just answered the question "because it's kind of outdated... It's from 25 years ago". She got super mad and was like "I am trying to be generous to my kids by offering this and nevermind I don't want to show you anymore". I honestly thought her behavior was silly and immature to expect that we would take everything that I used as a baby for my own baby. I said "mom, you don't need to get offended. We appreciate it" and she was like , "it's important to me so I thought it would be for you too".
She even tried to give me all of my newborn clothes from25 years ago too. My husband didn't want them, but in the end we took a couple of pieces including the outfit I came home in. I think my mom is expecting me to have My own daughter come home in the same outfit but I have my own outfit in mind.
She just has a way that makes you feel guilty about everything and it's so infuriating. I was trying to not let it affect me, and told my mom that English isn't my husbands first language so he doesnt get nuances when he talks sometimes and to not misunderstand us because we are first time parents and just want to experience buying all the baby stuff for the first time. She responds back to me, "I know. Thanks." And then ignored the kiss face I sent back to her through text.
Am am I wrong to feel this way? I mean I know it's a trivial thing, but it bothers me so much. I'm so tired of my mom acting this way throughout my entire pregnancy. It's all a bit selfish in my opinion. Now I feel guilty to even buy and use a new bassinet. Honestly, I get that it's sentimental for her, but she shouldn't expect me to use all of her old things....and to top it off, she talks and complains to my siblings about it and it seems like my sister in particular agrees too that she's "sentimental about that stuff".
Idk what are your thoughts? I think it's remedied for the most part, but just curious if anyone else has been dealing with this too.