How far were you when you told close family? — The Bump
March 2017 Moms

How far were you when you told close family?

GG620GG620 member
edited July 2016 in March 2017 Moms
We will be first time parents and plan to wait a long while to tell everyone, but are itching to tell our parents. So just curious, especially for FTMs, how far along were you/do you plan to be when you tell immediate family?  :)

BabyFruit Ticker

[spoiler]

Me: 28  Him: 30

Married: 11/15/14

TTC: 02/2016

IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS

June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d

August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d

June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!

Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)

[/spoiler]


«1

Re: How far were you when you told close family?

  • We'll be 6w+6 and 7w when we tell our families. Earlier than I would like to tell, but I won't see my parents together in person for a long time afterward. My mom will still be here for a few weeks while they close on the house, but my dad just started his new job and has to fly back out to Colorado.

    Also we're getting together with both families on the same weekend for my Mom and my MIL's bdays. It just seems too perfect not to do it then.
    Team Green turned Pink!
    Samantha - 4/5/2017

    GG620
  • My parents knew from day one since we did iui and I would give my mom updates. 
    TW- we told both sets of parents with our previous pregnancy which ended in loss. we told them right away  and had a loss at 6w. My parents were supportive but my in laws were basically jerks about it and blamed me so I wish we never told them. We also held off a bit longer this time telling the in laws. 7weeks this time. I still wish they didn't know bc they were not happy for us at all. In normal circumstances where your in laws are actually nice supportive people I wouldn't hesitate to say anything. However in our case, we regret both times telling my in laws (my husband is not happy either). 


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • SoraLkSoraLk member
    I told my immediate family when I found out at 3 weeks. Didn't tell manager until 7 weeks because I was getting up and away from my desk more in effort to stay awake, hydrated, and for occasional bouts of MS. He had me tell the co-workers I work with directly so they would understand my situation. I haven't told the rest of the family, but my father did - I got random calls from cousins saying congrats, and I was so flustered.

    The rest of my co-workers and family that don't know yet will be told closer to the 13th week.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    **TW in Spoiler**
    https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816

    BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
    BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.

    BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18  -  Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
    BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20

  • The stick was barely dry when we told our parents and siblings.  We see them daily and I didn't trust my ability to keep that secret.  We were very nervous about doing so though.

    We have told a few extended family members (grandparents, ect) since the first ultrasound at 9 weeks, but we will wait until at least 12-16 weeks before making it common knowledge.


    GG620ihateusernames*
  • kjd291kjd291 member
    my immediate family was told around 6weeks, inlaws haven't been told because we aren't very close and I know I wouldn't want to share a mc with them. 

    My opinion: if you're itching to because you're close enough with them that you would share the loss too, and you can trust them to keep their mouths shut: then tell away! 
    onefootinthebayouGG620
  • We told my parents right around 5 weeks both times. I see them every day and was very sick so it was going to be impossible to hide so we wanted to tell them on our own terms instead of them guessing or having to tell under pressure. 
    Inlaws we waiting until more like 9/10 weeks. Probably will be about the same this time. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I told my parents at 5.5 weeks, we are telling his & each of our siblings this week at 6.5.  Then we are shutting it down until 3 months.  First US confirmed pregnancy was in the right place so we feel comfortable telling parents and siblings.  Like @kjd291 said, these are all people we would share adversity with and frankly I need the support of my immediate family since H and I are clueless about this process. 
    bradleerick-2
  • My parents knew from day one since we did iui and I would give my mom updates. 
    TW- we told both sets of parents with our previous pregnancy which ended in loss. we told them right away  and had a loss at 6w. My parents were supportive but my in laws were basically jerks about it and blamed me so I wish we never told them. We also held off a bit longer this time telling the in laws. 7weeks this time. I still wish they didn't know bc they were not happy for us at all. In normal circumstances where your in laws are actually nice supportive people I wouldn't hesitate to say anything. However in our case, we regret both times telling my in laws (my husband is not happy either). 
    Well that certainly sucks.  I'm sorry to hear that.  I hope they get their shit together this time around.  
    Saracp78kiki75
  • GG620GG620 member
    @irishrose54 I am so, so sorry that they made you feel that way. Hope they come on around. You and DH celebrate and congratulations again! *internet hugs*!

    BabyFruit Ticker

    [spoiler]

    Me: 28  Him: 30

    Married: 11/15/14

    TTC: 02/2016

    IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS

    June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d

    August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d

    June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!

    Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)

    [/spoiler]


  • We will likely tell my inlaws the first time we see them. Which will likely be 7-8 weeks I guess.  And my family lives super far so I'll let them know around the same time. I'm always hesitant to tell my inlaws things because my MIL has a huge mouth and needs to tell everyone everything she knows. Last baby we told her his name and gender but asked her to keep it to herself and everyone in the extended family and her church knew so quickly.  :(
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I told my parents and in laws after getting a positive pee stick. 
  • We told my in -laws at 5+1 and my family at 5+4. We are closer to my ILs than my family and they would have caught on to me not drinking if we had tried to hide it plus we were soo excited to tell them couldn't hold it in any longer! :D 

    Me: 26 Hubs: 28

    Married: 6/6/15 <3

    Baby Girl: 3/22/2017


    GG620
  • In laws we told at 4 weeks and I told my parents at 5 weeks. 
    GG620
  • We told our parents & siblings at 4.5-5 weeks, told the remainder of family and church family at 7 weeks once we had our first ultrasound and confirmed twins because we needed all the extra prayers we could get. I also told work at 7 weeks after we had our first ultrasound and confirmed twins because I knew how many doctor's appointments, etc. were coming. Also, my boss knew we were going through fertility treatments so it wasn't a surprise to them. I am a big proponent of everybody telling people as they feel comfortable (you do you so to speak!). For some people that is announcing to the world before the pee stick is dry, for others that is waiting until viability, and everything in between. Good luck to you!
    Me 29 I DH 28
    Married in April 2007
    One Furbaby - Adorable Pitt Mix
    15 Months TTC....2nd Cycle of Letrozole - Success!
    Expecting our first two little miracles - Boy/Girl Twins! - EDD March 3, 2017
    High Risk Pregnancy - Type 1 Diabetic; Hypothyroidism; Di/Di Twin Pregnancy

    Pregnancy Ticker

    Anniversary

    GG620ihateusernames*mrsyimster
  • @GG620 & @onefootinthebayou thanks ladies. It really sucks that they can't be supportive. And it's due to their own personal issues, as far as I can tell. But I'm quite sensitive so it definitely stung and I will probably be sharing how I feel w them so I can get if off my chest. 


    Pregnancy Ticker
    GG620onefootinthebayou
  • GG620GG620 member
    We told our parents & siblings at 4.5-5 weeks, told the remainder of family and church family at 7 weeks once we had our first ultrasound and confirmed twins because we needed all the extra prayers we could get. I also told work at 7 weeks after we had our first ultrasound and confirmed twins because I knew how many doctor's appointments, etc. were coming. Also, my boss knew we were going through fertility treatments so it wasn't a surprise to them. I am a big proponent of everybody telling people as they feel comfortable (you do you so to speak!). For some people that is announcing to the world before the pee stick is dry, for others that is waiting until viability, and everything in between. Good luck to you!
    I absolutely love this!! haha

    Thank you everyone! It is nice to hear the variety in time frames as we figure this out!

    BabyFruit Ticker

    [spoiler]

    Me: 28  Him: 30

    Married: 11/15/14

    TTC: 02/2016

    IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS

    June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d

    August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d

    June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!

    Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)

    [/spoiler]


    bradleerick-2
  • When I was a FTM, I told my family (parents and brothers/sisters) within a week of finding out. They kept the secret pretty well for us until we spilled the beans around 10 weeks.

    This time I told my mom immediately, and then the other parents, brothers and sisters at 8 weeks. 


    Me: 36;  DH: 38
    DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17!
    **TW**
    MMC & D&C Aug 2016
  • FTM. Our plan is to tell in-laws at week 10 or 11, and my parents at week 12.  Wanted to have US first to confirm heartbeat and # (which is this Wednesday @ 9.5 weeks).  And then just due to scheduling, can't get down to visit my parents until the 12th week.   :/
    *TW* 
    Me: 35 | DH: 38
    Met: 2007
    Married: 2013

    BFP #1: 06/21/16                MMC: 08/04/16
    BFP #2: 01/08/17             DD: 09/23/17 <3
    BFP #3: 06/10/20             EDD: 02/11/2021

  • Last time we waited until about 13 weeks. This time it will probably be around 10. We like to make sure everything is okay before people get their hopes up. We won't make it public until 16 weeks or so.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Saracp78
  • The first time I was only 5 weeks but it was Thanksgiving and I wasn't drinking, which in my family MUST mean pregnancy lol

    This time my mom guessed right away, my dad asked too but over the phone so I lied lol. DS has a birthday party next weekend so I think we will be telling everyone there
  • siblings 7 weeks. parents we will tell them next week when they are back from vacation. 2 friends so far. my boss cus im taking off a lot more for appointments


    rest of the world I want to wait to 15-16 weeks


    SaveSave
  • My husband old his friends and family right away, without telling me, then asked if he was supposed to wait lol. I waited until my first doc appt (I was 8w5d) to tell my family and just sent them a pic with the ultrasound and due date. My sister pretty much already knew because we have family dinner every week and she noticed I was eating a lot more. 
  • I told my mom and sister as soon as the stick said pregnant lol We waited until our first doctors appointment to tell everyone else. I felt like by not telling my family and friends I was waiting for something bad to happen, and if it did, then they would be supportive. 


  • We told our parents and siblings at 6 weeks once we saw the heartbeat on the US.  I ended up having to tell my boss at 7.5 weeks because of my nausea.  Everyone else will know at 12 weeks.
    Married: 7/9/15
    Me: 37, DH: 36
    Started TTC #1: 9/2015
    Preliminary labs/testing @ 6 months: TSH, A1c, progesterone, prolactin, SA, HSG all normal
    BFP: 5/19/2016, M/C: 5/29/2016
    BFP: 6/22/2016  EDD 3//6/2017

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @irishrose54 I'm really sorry you had that experience.  My MIL is sort of crazy and I could see her having a similar reaction if something were to go wrong.  She has a lot of outdated beliefs on pregnancy/believes a lot of old wives tales, and I'm confident she would blame me (whether she said it to my face or not) if something went wrong.  

    We are at 8 weeks and have heard the heartbeats 4 times already, but still haven't told anyone.  Our next appointment is at almost 10 weeks, and if that goes well we plan to tell my parents then.  

    I'm sure a lot of people suspect (I've been really sick, missed some events, attended some without drinking), and a lot of people know we were seeing a fertility doctor.  But I'm really thankful that my friends have stayed quiet and I assume are waiting for me to tell them.  There are a lot of people I would probably confide in if we had a loss, but I feel like it is different to share a loss after the fact and having a joyous celebration and then having to take it back. I'm not sure if that's logical, but it's how I feel.  
  • We told our parents and close family last week, at 7 weeks. It was my birthday and we had everyone over for cake. We also told DS that night, and let him tell everyone after they were there. I made a shirt for him to wear when he told them. He was so excited (he'll be 5 next month). I am very close to my family, as well as DH's family, and I would definitely share a mc with them. With DS, we told them around 7 weeks as well, just because we waited for Christmas and wrapped up a picture frame with the announcement for them. My mom screamed when she opened it :)

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Pregnancy Ticker
    bradleerick-2
  • @anonellis thank you. My MIL is definitely in the "outdated beliefs" boat too. I find myself making excuses for her behavior and have always tried to be the bigger person but man when you're about to start a family...my attitude toward her is completely changing! I am sure there will be more to come AH! I am working on taking the zen approach b.c it's just not healthy to let myself stress over it. You have lots of willpower waiting. I wish I had it in me but I get too excited! 


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • JaDaRJaDaR member
    With my ds, we told our parents around 8wks; after hearing the heartbeat. They then proceeded to tell everyone else even though we asked them not to. This time around we'll wait until after the first trimester to tell the whole family. I've already told a few close friends and family who won't spill the beans. 
  • sunkissedvw27sunkissedvw27 member
    edited July 2016
    With our first- we told my sister in law immediately ( we asked her to pick up a test on the way down the shore, so I could know if I should drink). Everyone else we waiting until closer to 12/13 weeks. 
    This time, I am telling my parents tonight (since at dinner tomorrow, we'd usually order a pitcher of margaritas) and my in-laws we will wait until after the first trimester. I've told a few of my friends so far. I'm having so much trouble not telling this time around!
  • We told our parents at 7w4d, right after we had the first ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. I also told my sister and my best friend. We will tell everyone else (including my boss and coworkers) after my next doctor's appointment on September 6th. I think I'll be around 12-13 weeks at that point.
    Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • The first time, we told both families the day we got a positive test!

    This time we waited a couple days after I took the test (5 weeks) because I ordered cute props to use to tell them we were expecting! 
  • mrsncmrsnc member
    When I was a FTM, DH and I told my family at 6 weeks and his after the first u/s. 

    This time around, we told my parents immediately after the test. I needed my moms help with DD with all the morning sickness. We're waiting to tell siblings until the u/s at 9 weeks. Work and the rest of the world will find out around 12 weeks. 
  • BurrberrymumBurrberrymum member
    edited July 2016
    I waited until 18 weeks to tell my dad! Which is strange because we're pretty close, I had a Previous loss though I really wasn't in a hurry to tell anyone. I told my sister at 13 weeks because I was a bridesmaid in her wedding (which she kicked me out of in the nicest way possible) because I would have been 9 months pregnant. 

    Every one else found out at about 20 weeks. 

    This time I'm waiting until 15-16 weeks before telling our parents, and probably past 20 weeks for friends/extended family. 
  • We told my parents at 12 weeks with my first and around 12 weeks with my second. Presumptuously we told at 9 weeks with my third because we hadn't had a m/c ever & very healthy pregnancies but lost the baby at 10 weeks. My doctors have always said, if you tell prior to 12 weeks, just be prepared there's a 10-20% chance, whatever you read on the Internet is garbage. After a healthy 7 week it goes down to less than 10%, but I had a tiny SCH which ultimately caused the loss. My doctor said even with that, was less than a 10% chance, but you can always be the 10% even with a great prior history. 
  • We told my parents right away.  We waited until 6 weeks to tell my in-laws.  Everyone else has to wait until first trimester is over.  
    Jennifer Rose due 6/27/14 <3
  • Told immediate family as soon as I found out. Told my manager 2 weeks later so that he could cut me some slack. Not telling anyone else before beginning of second trimester. 
  • FTM - mine at 7 weeks and parner's at 8, although still getting round extended family. We actually told my brother and his girlfriend at 5, but they were the only ones who knew we were trying.
  • My mom knew immediately. Just told my dad at 5 weeks. My ILs knew right away too. A number of our friends know. I still need to tell my brother. DS will find out after our 7w US next week. I'm guessing we'll tell the world after first tri.
  • We told our parents the day we found out (so around five or six weeks). I told some friends at that point as well. DH's siblings and extended family found out about a week ago (8-9 weeks). DD and DS will find out this week if nothing is wrong at my appointment (10w1d). I don't know when or if we will tell the world at all. I hardly use Facebook, but maybe I will do that just in case a family member missed it. 
    March 2017 September Siggy Challenge: Favorite Fall Things

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • STM - With our first, we told my parents and in-laws around 5 weeks.  I also had to tell a couple of my close friends.  We didn't announce it 'to the world' until 12 weeks. 
    This time around, we told parents and in-laws around the same time and I've told one close friend, but I'm dying to tell the other. 

    I've always felt like I want those closest to me to know.  If something terrible were to happen, I would want to be able to talk to them openly.  So, I decide by that comfort level.
    Anniversary

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards