Anyone have trouble seeing friends after loss? — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

Anyone have trouble seeing friends after loss?

I feel as though everytime a friend who knew I was pregnant sees me now no matter what they say they seem to have such sadness in there face and voice. I just want to feel normal around them, not like a cloud of sadness. Its even worse running into people on the street or even cashiers at stores I frequented because they weren't prepared to see me at that moment. Am I imagining things or has anyone else felt like this???

Re: Anyone have trouble seeing friends after loss?

  • It's been almost a year since my loss and I still see people from time to time who saw me while I was pregnant and didn't know what happened to me, ask about the baby. It's a really uncomfortable situation. Even when people ask me how many kids I have, it's an odd question to answer because I will always count her as one of my children. When my loss first happened everyone was so sad around me that even if I was in an ok mood, them feeling so sad for me, or even telling me that they were sorry would make me sad and/or want to cry. I told my close friends to just act normal around me (only 3 people) and just had them in my corner for a while. 
  • Thank u, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
  • Absolutely. I still feel this way almost a year and a half later. It's like people know and don't want to say, but the sadness and fear is in their eyes. I have come to hate gatherings of people because it seems to be more intense.
     Rainbow baby Savannah born 5.13.16 at 30 weeks    
    Baby Cadence born still 3.24.15 at 28 weeks 

  • It's hard either way, but gets easier! I'm 2 months out. Now that I've seen most people I know at least once they are starting to act more normal around me, but that's hard too. I'm not "over her" and still think about everything constantly, so it's hard for me in a way when people don't mention it.

    I'm really not sure how to respond when people ask me about kids too- she's my first (but I have step kids) so I don't know whether to say "none", "one but she died", or include my stepkids and her! The only option that doesn't require an explanation is not true because I did have a baby! 
  • I was having an issue at work, seeing people that I havent actually seen since February. The last time i saw these people I was announcing and here I am walking around like nothing when I should be on maternity leave. I been asked things like "Oh you came back early, who is taking care of the baby?" those days kill me. 
    and my DS is still asking for his baby sister. He understands that she is with God like our cat that passed away, but he doesnt understand why he cant still have his baby sister!!
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