Announcing pregnancy on Facebook?

bookworm8622

This may have come up on an earlier thread, but what are everyone's thoughts on announcing your pregnancy on Facebook? Even though I am now officially halfway through my first pregnancy (yay!), I have no desire to have everyone know I'm pregnant. Of course we've told my family and close friends already, but my husband wants to post something on Facebook once we find out the sex of the baby this week (and after I've told my job). I've had family/friends not post anything until the baby was born, and others who post after 3ish months. I don't want to squash my husband's moment but I'm not sure how much to read into my hesitation to post about it online (with all the weddings we have coming up this fall, photos of my bump are going to wind up on Facebook anyway). Thoughts?

cgss11

I think you're overthinking it. There's no right or wrong here. Personally, if you're husband wants to, I would let him. Mine loved making the post..almost made him feel more involved? I'm less into social media then he is though, so I didn't really care if it was up or not. 

Austenista

I went through a stage in the 1st trimester where I was feeling really protective and didn't want to tell anyone the whole pregnancy and just let them know once baby was born. Obviously that wasn't possible, but I understand the sensation of wanting to keep it to yourself. We announced on Facebook at about 14 weeks once we'd told everyone who was close. It wasn't a big deal, we got a lot of congratulations and well wishes, which felt good. Ultimately the choice is yours, like cgss11 says, there's no right or wrong here just personal choice. If bump photos are gonna be up anyway, why not just go ahead and let your husband announce since he really wants to do it? 

yellingbanana

We just posted yesterday after finding out the gender. But I also regularly delete people that aren't really friends, or family. Half of mine are family.
But if posting means that your work will find out through FB, then you should tell your work first. 

penelope4612

We decided to not post at all until the baby is here.  I am FB friends with a lot of people who I'm not real life friends with and I don't really care to share with them (I know it's odd but I do like following these random HS people on FB even though I haven't spoken to them in many years, so I don't unfriend them).  I figure, if I don't see you in person, and you're not important enough to text or call or email, then it's none of your business.  However, DH and I were on the same page with this one, so there was no debate.  I don't know that I feel strongly enough to argue about it.

SaraRose83

There's also a way to post on Facebook that just posts to who you want it to - you just have to check the people you don't want to see every post as acquaintances. That's how I have coworkers and acquaintances set. I think it's under privacy settings. I actually posted on Facebook though because I wanted people to find out without having to make an awkward announcement to some people in person. We had already told our family and personal friends and I just didn't want to bump into someone at like 7 months who got all offended I didn't tell them (small town problems). But super up to you! I wish my husband wanted to post it on his Facebook. I don't think he's even thought of it. I think it's awesome when they get all excited. 

zubenescamali

We haven't done a FB announcement yet either. DH is putting pressure on me to do so, but he hasn't even mailed the announcement cards to his dad or aunt yet. All nearby family knows and so do a few managers at work. But I am not quite ready for all my employees to know, and as soon as it's on FB it's out. Last pregnancy I didn't announce on FB until baby was born.  I got some many weird responses from FB acquatences "congrats, didn't even know you were pregnant", even though everyone who mattered IRL already knew. 

Lisa3379

My boyfriend would've rathered I didn't post anything at all on Facebook. He doesn't use any social media and is kinda weirded out by it. Anyway, he had me make a separate group on Facebook that just included family and close friends, not random people I went to high school or former students. It was a decent compromise. 

ea301

Lisa3379 said:

My boyfriend would've rathered I didn't post anything at all on Facebook. He doesn't use any social media and is kinda weirded out by it. Anyway, he had me make a separate group on Facebook that just included family and close friends, not random people I went to high school or former students. It was a decent compromise. 

^ exactly this. My husband doesn't have facebook and I am pretty private with what I share, so I created a secret group to share updates with family and close friends. That strategy been working for me... but like everyone else has said, it is completely up to you! If you feel weird about it, like I did, there are options available. 

LinziLoo09

We announced on FB around 14 weeks. I complain a lot about weird symptoms or people's reactions in my posts, so it would never be a secret long. Ultimately though it depends on what you're most comfortable with. 

em01092

@bookworm8622 Sounds like DH is just excited. He wants everyone to know how awesome this is! But of course he should also respect your wishes and privacy concerns. Social media can definitely be weird. It sounds like you guys need a compromise. I like the idea of making your announcement only viewable to family and close friends. Or maybe go through your page and his page together and weed out people you don't know, don't talk to anymore, etc, that way you wouldn't have to go into privacy settings when you post. 

For me personally I can't lie, the attention and getting 200+ likes on my announcement was kinda a rush. Shameless AW-ness lol. I mean, it's not like I got knocked up just so I could brag about it on FB, but after years of trying it was fun to get to do a cute announcement, and it was great to see my family's reactions. Announcing on FB also helped me reconnect with some old friends and acquaintances. They're not my new BFFs or anything, but these ladies live near me and have great insight as to the best places to score deals, childcare reviews, clothing/toy swap groups, etc. 

karmba

I'm with @penelope4612 and we're not posting on Facebook until the baby is born.  Anyone that is actually close with us we'll tell in person or on the phone.  I had a friend go through a very public and tragic stillbirth a year ago and if anything goes wrong with this pregnancy, I don't want it splashed all over Facebook.

l9i

penelope4612 said:

We decided to not post at all until the baby is here.  I am FB friends with a lot of people who I'm not real life friends with and I don't really care to share with them (I know it's odd but I do like following these random HS people on FB even though I haven't spoken to them in many years, so I don't unfriend them).  I figure, if I don't see you in person, and you're not important enough to text or call or email, then it's none of your business.  However, DH and I were on the same page with this one, so there was no debate.  I don't know that I feel strongly enough to argue about it.

Both DH and I are in the same boat as this.  We have a lot of people from high school, etc that we don't keep up with that much.  Also, with a past loss we really don't want to blast it out to a bunch of people we aren't super close with.

phoenix870509

We announced kind of early, at 9 weeks. But before we did we told immediate family. Both DH and I agreed to announce because I have been very open and vocal about my struggles with unexplained infertility, PCOS and my journey. Us announcing was coming full circle in this journey and was met with an outpouring of love and support. I don't post many updates about my pregnancy to be respectful of those who have fertility issues or suffered losses, but I do post milestones (start of second tri, halfway point, first kick). DH did not want to post any ultrasound pictures but I convinced him to post just 1, which is one of the 3D ones we got of baby at 19 weeks. And we agreed not to announce the sex of the baby on social media or when I go into labor. We'll post a picture of baby once they arrive along with their name (no, IT'S A GIRL/BOY!). A lot of things I have done in this pregnancy are things DH has wanted to let him feel included. We found out the sex, we had a reveal party. They don't get to feel baby moving around and kicking until later on. It's natural to want to keep everything to yourself. My advice would be to come up with a compromise with your DH.

dmontgo

I don't have a FB, but DH never announced it on his page, which is fine to me. We didn't want to deal with weird distant family members or people asking prying questions. All the people that we talk to and love know, and that's enough for me.

Kacie209

I am the only one who has FB, as DH is not at all interested in Social Media - except for Twitter which he used to follows sports stuff. We told family and some close friends before I posted anything, and that was a week into the 2nd trimester, and after we got results back from Harmony. FTM and I wanted to make sure everything was going well before saying anything, knowing anything could happen going forward. After I OK'd it with DH... I made a cute picture of a calendar and mentioned how I love December and now will love it even more, etc. It was fun seeing friends reactions to the news!

I do eventually plan on posting something about what we're having, but that won't be for another month. We're getting some early PG pics taken and will incorporate boy stuff and will post a pic from that session to announce that. Otherwise, I don't plan on posting much (no bump pics intentionally, unless my pic if taken and I'm tagged in it), until the baby arrives. Otherwise, just family knows that, too. If someone asks, I'll tell... as DH has been doing that too.

I have had many friends say something about their first and then nothing about any other child born after that. Maybe a casual mention, but no big announcement until they're born. To each their own, and whatever anyone wants to do is perfectly fine. I'd probably do that too... or say something about expecting #2 (if we do), and that be it.

So, I can see how he may be excited to announce and how you feel indifferent about it - which is perfectly fine. If he wants to after you tell more this week and after you find out what you're having... it's fun to have the spotlight on you for something that a lot of people will be excited for you two about.

ashleaf2018

I feel like every body is different on this front; some people don't have social media or if they do they aren't active on it, some people are very active on social media. I posted on Facebook about our first pregnancy at 8 weeks because I was excited and I had already told all our family. We lost the baby at 9 weeks, and on my birthday, so then I had to very publicly explain our loss. This time around, I waited until 14 weeks because we had a good 11 week ultrasound and I waited til we had told all of our family. That being said, you should share something when you're ready. I didn't share the news on Facebook without asking FI about it first. I just think it's something everyone needs to be on board with, and maybe there's a compromise you two can come to. 

princesslockness

For our other pregnancy we announced at like 6 weeks. It was a full 'anyone who is on my FB' thing. Now that we have L we both have an 'L group' on our FBs that is family that we see semi regularly and friends that we see/live around. That way only those who see and interact with L get to see those posts.

We are going to put up a video of MIL(?) cutting the giant 'here for the sex' cupcake at L's b-day party this week. That way everyone knows its a girl, but there isn't any random stranger that can see anything. 

bookworm8622

Thanks for all of your advice, everyone! My husband has been wanting kids for as long as we've been together so I know he is very excited. I'm sure we'll come up with some kind of compromise! I really like the suggestions of creating a separate group or list to share the information with on Facebook.

whitneyp26

We aren't announcing on fb. All I would get is "omg 4!?" Anyways lol. So those who aren't close enough to know will find out whenever I post pictures. Seems kind of entertaining doing it this way for a change 

KateH1216

I just posted this tonight on FB. I am 21 weeks and had two future grandmas that wanted to start spreading the news about baby girl. I'm not one to post a ton, but thought this was a good ice breaker and cleared the path for the bragging grandmas

MaggieG183

DH and I made a separate Facebook group named "Baby G" which includes only family and close friends. While I don't have friends on Facebook that's aren't true friends, my husband uses his Facebook for work and promotional purposes, so there are some wackos. We've been sharing baby news through that including posting a Facebook live video of the gender reveal a couple weeks ago. We were able to send out texts and private messages to everyone in the group so they knew the approximate time to login and watch as we cut open cupcakes as a small backyard bbq. 

kahn720

My husband and I both decided to hold off on doing a Facebook announcement - we felt that anyone who needed or should know would be told face to face or at least directly from us versus social media. I am already feeling awkward enough when getting congratulated by my parents and in-laws friends, I can imagine the commotion from Facebook. For now, the fur babies are the stars of my social media! 

crystalmir91385

We did with DD1. We had planned to announce on Facebook around 20 weeks, but dear MIL posted the news in some of her comments around mid June.

If your husband is really into the idea, perhaps let him run with it. Or wait and announce with a cute picture from a maternity shoot.

JEM525

I'm just posting on my family's private Facebook page. I come from a huge family. So we have one to keep in touch. I also don't feel the need to blab to everyone on FB. If anything happens I would want my family to know but I don't need everyone and their mother knowing until I have my baby safe in my arms! Plus it will be a fun announcement during the holiday season. Maybe compromise with your DH about doing it when baby is here, and that way he can have his time to shine then? 

ChrissyluvsPuppies

We did last time. I have no desire to do it this time around. Do whatever your feel is right. I don't feel like dealing with people so I am not saying anything. 

bookworm8622

I wanted to give an update: we posted the announcement on Facebook today after our latest doctor's appointment. And although I was a little anxious the first hour or so, I received some great text messages of support from a few old friends I had lost touch with (I moved out of my home state for about 5 years but moved back semi-recently). So so far, only good things!