Give up the career or tough it out? — The Bump
Working Moms

Give up the career or tough it out?

Hello Bumpettes....I need some perspective. I have been working full time, while teaching fitness on the side since my son was bornot 9 months ago. I started a new job with a bigger title and salary about 3 months ago and feel completely overwhelmed. I work long hours and feel like I'm missing out on my son's childhood. My day job pays the bills bit I have become passionate about fit essential and wouldn't want to give it up....I'm considering quitting my day job to focus on familyour and my part time passion  but I'm nervous to do so, because it's a fairly large pay cut. My husband makes a little less than I do, but would need more education to move into a higher paying job. Has anyone made this kind of leap and can offer some perspective on hoe it worked out for you?

Thanks!

Re: Give up the career or tough it out?

  • Why doesn't your husband stay home and you just put your part time passion on hold for a while?
  • Hwhitman said:
    Why doesn't your husband stay home and you just put your part time passion on hold for a while?
    OP says she feels like she's missing out on her son's childhood so I would guess that is why.

    How successful is your side job? Do you have a lot of clients? Do you think it would be easy to find more? Have you worked out your budget to see if it makes sense financially, even if it is a pay cut to quit the day job? And how does child care factor into this (for ex., if you currently pay for daycare, would these costs decrease if you quit the day job?). Lots to consider!

  • legomalegoma member
    Second Anniversary First Comment Photogenic
    edited January 12
    I left my job when my maternity leave was up & spent 11 years as a stay at home mom. We had to make sacrifices & lived on one income, but we adapted. As a stay at home mom I pursued my passions, but it took twice as long to get there. I don't have any regrets & staying home watching my son was the best decision I ever made. They really do grow up quickly & you can't go back in time. My son will be 18 this year & after staying home for 12 years I was able to enjoy & focus more on my passions. Work/passions will always be there, but your baby's childhood won't. Best wishes on the final outcome!

    By the way 12 years seems like a lifetime to some moms when I share my experience, but that was my journey. Consider waiting until you baby starts kindergarten or preschool (if possible), it's just a few years & you would be surprised at the things you can get done while they're at school. You'll benefit from watching your baby grow & be able to pursue the things you enjo...timing maybe off for a little while, but that doesn't mean it's forever. :-)
  • star8627 said:
    Hello Bumpettes....I need some perspective. I have been working full time, while teaching fitness on the side since my son was bornot 9 months ago. I started a new job with a bigger title and salary about 3 months ago and feel completely overwhelmed. I work long hours and feel like I'm missing out on my son's childhood. My day job pays the bills bit I have become passionate about fit essential and wouldn't want to give it up....I'm considering quitting my day job to focus on familyour and my part time passion  but I'm nervous to do so, because it's a fairly large pay cut. My husband makes a little less than I do, but would need more education to move into a higher paying job. Has anyone made this kind of leap and can offer some perspective on hoe it worked out for you?

    Thanks!
    Before you up and quit, I would suggest talking to someone in your company about other solutions that allow you to continue working with a better work/life balance. Maybe you can job share, hire on additional help, or have a compressed schedule. HR may be willing to work something out with you if they know the consequence is losing good talent. I also agree with PP about taking a hard look at your budget to figure out if you can live on one income and what things you would have to give up to make it happen.
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  • I also agree with Meggyme to explore flexible work option, but be careful & be informed when you do. Talk to your HR representative as well.

    A coworker of mine decided to be a SAHM because her boss had told her there were no options for her & the job she loved. She left & shortly after they told her that she could work from home. They made her lose her benefits, time earned (6 years), & gave her expected promotion to another person as soon as she left....plus they cut her hours to part-time and gave her a "temp" title so she lost out on bonuses. 

    She was very diapponted about losing all of that, but was afraid to speak up because she was caught off guard & unprepared to deal with it thinking they would take her ability to work from home.
  • This is a tough decision but I think it is very important to find a good balance between your work life and being a mother.
    Maybe you can also focus on being able to work more in the fitness business. Also I guess it is hard for your husband to work and have a baby and get a higher education. Especially in the beginning this does not pay bills. 
    Think everything through wisely and talk to your HR person, you should be very well informed!
    Good luck with everything!
  • This is always such a difficult decision. I quit my job to become a SAHM shortly after my oldest was born. I later started working PT for a different company before we started TTC my third child. I now work FT in a position that requires long hours and a large workload. My job is going to make life stressful after this baby is born but I’m in a position where I can’t give up my salary anymore - I’m paying for 3 kids to attend a private elementary school, their activities are much more expensive now, and with soon to be 4 kids we need our large vehicles and home. And there’s college savings for 4 kids to worry about. This doesn’t even take into account my benefits, company match on retirement, and my pension. DH makes only slightly more than I do so we would need to make some huge lifestyle changes to make it feasible now. Neither DH or I are comfortable with the changes that would require.

    My advice is to take a long, hard look at your budget. Are you comfortable with the lifestyle changes you would need to make if you SAH? What additional benefits from your job would you be losing & what impact would that have on your finances long-term? The long-term picture is just as important to consider as the short-term. Would you eventually want to return to the workforce? How difficult would that be for you after taking several years off?
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