Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss


It's been three months since my third miscarriage (I was 17 weeks, first one was on Feb, 2015 at around 6 weeks and second was on Aug 2015 at 22 weeks) and I'm having the hardest time moving on. I started on a self recovery journey, I'm down 17 pounds, eating healthy, doing yoga, but as my body recovers I feel my mind is going backwards. I had promised my husband that once I was in a healthy weight we would start trying again but I can't and the sad thing is that I feel I won't ever try again, it's been too hard on me, I can't see myself pregnant again.

In two weeks it'll be a year since I loss my baby boy, I can't stop crying everyday. I though about going back to therapy but I feel I already know how its gonna play out, I can't talk to my husband or my family about it because they all say that I'll have children and not to worry but I just can't handle another pregnancy, I really can't. 

I'm just beyond scared and frustrated.
I'm 29, husband is 30
Together since 2006
Married 01.17.15  <3

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Re: Struggling

  • I am so sorry for your losses.  Hugs.  You have been through so much.  

    Have you worked with a therapist before who specializes in grief & pregnancy loss?  I have found that helpful.  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • Im very sorry to hear about your losses.  Like the previous poster mentioned maybe try to find someone who specializes in pregnancy loss.  I also don't think it would be a terrible idea to see your old therapist again even if you think you'll talk about the same thing again.  I know I've taken breaks from mine and found something new when I go back to see her.  

    Sending tou you lots of hugs and good thoughts.  I hope you start to feel a little better soon.  

    Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
    DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
    TTC since December 2014
    Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy :(  
    FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks :( 
    FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks :(
    FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks :(
    FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days :(
    FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
    Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
    2 snow babies 

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  • I'm so so sorry for your losses.  I hope you start to feel better soon. I second what others said about talking to a specialized therapist. Sending you lots of hugs. 
    About me:
    TTC#1: October 2015
    dx: PCOS & MFI
    IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP
    July 2016: Blighted Ovum
    IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN
    IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN
    IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN
    IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN
    FET February 2017 ~BFN
    IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17
    Team Blue X 2!
  • I know I've said it before, but I'm sorry for your losses. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself physically but taking care of yourself mentally is important in healing, too. I echo what everyone else said re: going back to therapy or finding a specialist. Sending you lots of positivity and thoughts.  <3
  • I am sorry for your losses. 
  • I'm so sorry for your losses. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to go through 2 and trimester losses. I don't blame you go being scared to try again. Take as much time as you need! And yes, I echo the sentiment- find a therapist who specializes in women's fertility issues or grief or loss. My OB/GYN clinic was able to refer me to someone. They have been amazing.
  • I am so sorry for all of your losses. I lost my son at almost 18w last month. 
    I agree that a therapist or counselor would be very beneficial. I would also look into any support groups in your area. My hopsital does a pregnancy & infant loss support group once a month. I've only been once so far but it was very helpful.


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  • I'm so sorry for your losses.  I agree that it's important to find someone to talk to and let it all out. 
    I understand about feeling afraid about having another pregnancy, I lost my daughter 3 hours after she was born due to birth complications and never wanted to have another baby again because of that fear, but after finding other people to talk to who were able to take some of the heaviness off my shoulders, and finding faith and hope in God's promises, I was able to move forward and find peace in choosing to have another baby.  There is hope!
    I hope you will find that healing and the right people to talk with, it's hard to do it alone!
    <a href="http://www.lightshinesbright.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">My faith-filled pregnancy loss blog</a><br>
  • @fiorip It pains me to know you are struggling you are truly one of the nicest women on here and I remember you reaching out to me when I first came here. I find that as the date approaches it does seem to get harder so know that you aren't alone we are all here for you. I agree with what @EmilyP524 said and maybe find a support group. Sometimes its not just about having the support here but being surrounded by women who can physically be there and who have pain like you've had. I know this may not work for you but I found it helpful to find inspiring bloggers or stories online of successes after losses to find some glimmer of hope and maybe re-ignite your willingness to try again. But that is only for if you feel you want to. Hope that helped and as always feel free to reach out to me personally if you feel you need to vent, talk, or even share. My thoughts are with you today xo.
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