Hi....new here (death mentioned) — The Bump

Hi....new here (death mentioned)

Hi. I'm new to the bump. It's hard to find infertility boards that stay active. Infertility is like a taboo subject yet so many of us have various infertility issues. I have PCOS, hypothyroid, and pre-diabetes. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2007 a few months before I got married. I married my now ExH and we tried for a yearish to get pregnant with clomid eventually switching to an RE but never completed any treatments through them. They were going to have me do shots which never happened because we stopped trying (ExH had drug issues and couldn't stay sober). Long story short I divorced him in 2009 and have been single since (yes it sucks). I have had a lot of death in my family the last six years (both dads (step & bio), both grandma's, a stepbrother, & other family members). I tried the adoption route and was certified through my county to adopt via children services but that never morphed into anything. My caseworker wasn't worth anything and was no help at all. Last year I inquired about starting fertility treatments again if it was possible given my health issues and that I'm overweight. My gyno put me in touch with the most awesome fertility treatment clinic. They are just the best. I had surgery to remove polyps last spring and started my first IUI last fall. I did two IUI's which were both BFN. I didn't pursue the third one due to being my dad's primary caretaker. He passed the end of February. I've had a really hard time since he passed (depression, panic attacks, insomnia) and am in counseling and all of my doctors are aware of what's going on. My RE put me on melatonin, CoQ10, prenatal vitamins, and prometrium. I'm also on synthroid, metformin, vitamin D, and iron. I haven't had a cycle since last fall after my second IUI so I'm on prometrium to help that along until I decide to pursue my third IUI. The big question's I've been dealing with is when to do my third IUI (but I know I'm not completely ready yet) and what route will I go if this one is also BFN. Do I keep trying IUI's? Look into IVF? Go back to adoption again? Sigh and ugh. It's soo frustrating. I will be a single mom by choice since there's no man in my life. I do have a furbaby and seven nieces and nephews. I'm open to making new friends and have ladies that understand the journey I'm on as my family doesn't understand. Sorry for rambling. I hope you all have a great day!!!

Re: Hi....new here (death mentioned)

  • I'm sorry for where you find yourself. I totally understand the want to be a mother no matter what. It just sucks to want what we seemingly can't have. And I don't think that anyone (family or friends, no matter how well meaning) understands unless they've been in these kind of shoes.  

    I don't have any real insight. I think these are very personal decisions - only you know what's best for you. And how much capital you have in your emotional checkbook.

    As as for me, I'm just finished with my first IUI on Saturday after five miscarriages and no living children. I plan to pursue donor egg IVF if one of my 3 planned IUIs don't take. 

    Just know you're not alone. 
    Me: 40, DH: 34
    Married 5/2009; TTC #1 since 2013
    2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies ——> 5 miscarriages 
    TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
    2016: 3 medicated TI cycles ---> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN

    Donor Egg IVF Transfer: MAY 1, 2017
    May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
    EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL! 
    E. L. A. born 12/7/2017  <3
  • Thanks @fivetimesnoluck. It's hard to walk the road of infertility. I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I'll keep you in my prayers. I'm only the second known person in my family to have PCOS. I have a cousin who has it but she had all of her kids naturally without any medical intervention so we can't even relate to each other because I've never even been pregnant and she's never had to go through the things I've gone through. 

    I know I'm the one who needs to make whatever decisions I feel are the best for me but at times I feel like everything is stacked against me. I'll be 34 in September which I know is not old but it feels really old considering I still don't have kids. Thanks for your reply and I hope you have a great day!!
  • @beckij34 welcome and I'm sorry for all you've been through.  As a fellow PCOSer let me say, metformin sucks!  Don't know if you feel the same, but I despise the stuff.  Even the extended release is a struggle for my body to deal with.  My specialist just put me back on it for this upcoming cycle.  I have lean PCOS and my bloodwork hasn't shown a need for metformin, but my doctor's attitude is one of "It's not proven to help in lean PCOS, but it helps in PCOS so why not just go with it."  Blah!  Just started it up again last week.

    *TW (pregnancy mentioned)* Personally my body just didn't respond well to treatment for IUI.  I tried natural cycles, clomid cycles (which my new specialist said was a recipe for disaster with PCOS) and then medicated IUI.  I did better on medicated IUI (in terms of actually sees a follicle mature and then I ovulated), but I'm blessed to live in a state where insurance is required to cover fertility treatments and I then qualified for IVF. IVF is what worked for me.  Honestly it is such a personal decision, but I have had success with IVF.  My ovaries produced tons of follicles on my IUI cylces, but none matured and I just didn't ovulate (so many wasted cycles!).  Even when I would get my period, we had seen via U/S monitoring that I never actually ovulated.  I guess my lining just eventually shed despite the lack of an egg.   I also developed some nasty cysts from clomid; hence my doctor's dislike for that approach in PCOS patients (my prior specialist recommended it).

    Best of luck to you in whatever approach you take.  If you do keep pushing for the adoption route, I'm happy to chat about that too (I'm adopted as my parents could not conceive a biological child). 
  • So sorry your find yourself here after such a hard journey and so many losses.  It sounds like you have a good RE.. have they discussed your chances with both IUI and IVF? I feel like in generally IUI has pretty low success, so if you can afford it, I would probably consider IVF. Hopefully with some time and advice, you will know what path is right for you!
    History in Spoiler

    Age: 30 (same with DH). Together since 2006, Married June 2013 and TTC since August 2015
    Diagnosis: Mild Endo, DOR (AMH of 1.5), Poor Quality Eggs/embryos, Displaced Window of Implantation (ERA Post Receptive)
    March-May 2016: 1 TI and 2 IUIs- BFN 
    June 2016- Laproscopy- found/removed mild endo and confirmed only 1 normal healthy ovary.
    August 2016- IVF #1 with Antagonist Protocol- Cancelled (2 lead follies), converted to IUI- BFN
    Oct-Nov 2016- IVF #2 with Estrogen Priming Micro Lupron Protocol, 2 eggs retrieved, day 3 transfer of 1- BFN
    January 2017- New RE, IVF#3 with Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol, 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, 2 day 5 early blasts transferred (none to freeze :(), BFN
    May 2017- Sept 2017- Starting Donor Egg process! Waiting for donor to be available... and then she is pregnant at baseline :(
    Oct 2017- Donor #2: 25R, 22M,18F, 12 blasts frozen! Fresh transfer cancelled due to thin lining with fluid :(
    Nov 2017- Hysterscopy to remove polyp
    Dec 2017- DE FET #1 on 12/8 on 2 perfect blasts- BFN and devastated
    Jan-Mar 2018- ERA #1- Post receptive by 24 hours, ERA #2 RECEPTIVE with 4 days of Progesterone
    Apr 2018- DE FET cancelled for lining issues :(
    Jun 2018- DE FET #2 of two 1AA blasts- first BFP ever! Beta 10dp5dt- 378, Beta 14dp5dt- 2840, Beta 16dp5dt- 4035, beta 18dp5dt- 10916. Due on 2/20 with one baby after a vanishing twin
  • Go to IVF. IUI can work but usually takes awhile (if it works at all). If you're worried about your age, why wait
  • Well the prometrium never did anything so I went in Friday for an ultrasound which was fine and blood work which revealed that I never ovulated which is no big surprise here. They are getting a hold of the RE since he's on vacation to see how he wants to proceed. Yay me!!!
  • If you feel strongly about pursuing IUI, then give it a try, but my advice would be to look at IVF.  IUIs can wear you out, and they have a relatively low success rate.  If you were as fertile as could be, but just lacking a male partner, IUIs would be a good option, but if you have challenges with ovulation, IVF might be worth the extra cost.

    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

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