Is it Friday yet?

ashm1220

I've got a big confession that I need to get off my chest....

JaDaR

You can tell us! It just won't be flame free ;-)

MsTurney

and??

ashm1220

But it's totally flame-worthy and I don't know if my emotions can handle side eyes right now.

Scarlett830

Flame free Friday doesn't actually always guarantee zero flames either. If you feel you need to talk about it, better sooner than later?

veeveemama59

Scarlett830 said:

Flame free Friday doesn't actually always guarantee zero flames either. If you feel you need to talk about it, better sooner than later?

I second the sooner than later!

AverageAsh

It's the internet... everything is a secret here.

AverageAsh

Bluebird2318

Scarlett830

I'll be honest here because I'm tired and cranky, and therefore apologize ahead of time. I will probably side-eye if you don't spill, because then I'll just view this thread as an unnecessary dear diary and slightly AW.

wintersong

At this point your damned if you do and damned if you dont! If anyone flames you now they probably would on friday, too.

AverageAsh

Scarlett830 said:

I'll be honest here because I'm tired and cranky, and therefore apologize ahead of time. I will probably side-eye if you don't spill, because then I'll just view this thread as an unnecessary dear diary and slightly AW.

I mean, it's been an hour.  I'm irritated that I wasted a gif.

Scarlett830

AverageAsh said:

Scarlett830 said:

I'll be honest here because I'm tired and cranky, and therefore apologize ahead of time. I will probably side-eye if you don't spill, because then I'll just view this thread as an unnecessary dear diary and slightly AW.

I mean, it's been an hour.  I'm irritated that I wasted a gif.

Using a gif can be like playing Cards Against Humanity -- gotta hoard the good ones and nail 'em down at precisely the right time!

AverageAsh

ashm1220

Sorry ladies..... I worked late today. Basically I'm KU by guy that I haven't known very long. He asked me to get an abortion and I'm very against it. So my confession is, I'm knowingly bringing a child into this world with the potential of zero involvement from the father bc I got drunk and didn't make him wear a condom.

AverageAsh

Oh, @ashm1220, I'm sorry that has been weighing on you. You can do this, find your village and lean in on them hard. Can you start getting resources lined up so there isn't much foot work to do once March rolls around?

dubcompanion

@ashm1220 I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this but commend you for doing what you believe is the right thing to do. I hope that you find the strength and support you need from those around you. 

ashm1220

@AverageAsh I have a wonderful support system for my 2 other children. Their father helps a lot and I have 2 great sitters since I work until 9 most evenings. I have a well paid job and I'm starting my MBA program in October. My fear is I haven't told my family or sitters yet bc my son is with his father for the summer and my daughter is with my sister in Florida. I'm trying to find the way to tell them but I fear disappointment. Also the new father hasn't completely left the picture but I am noticing him distancing himself.

AverageAsh

Hugs, I hope he decides what he wants quickly. It really isn't fair to string you along. 

Bluebird2318

However you may feel about past choices, you're still behaving like a sensible adult, staying true to yourself, and doing what you think is the most responsible at this point. I am so sorry you're dealing with someone who won't put in equal effort. All side-eyeing is summarily directed at him. You're doing just fine, and I'm glad your "village" is strong!

Scarlett830

@ashm1220 your confession is definitely flame free, at least as far as I'm concerned!

Things happen, and we all make mistakes, but you are choosing what you believe in, and that alone takes strength and so much courage. There will always be people who eye roll or are negative no matter what.

It seems like you're in a good place otherwise and have a lot of support to back you in other areas of your life. Hopefully the baby's father will step up, but if not, don't hesitate to lean on your loved ones and those closest to you.

And remember, even though we're all creepy internet strangers, we're definitely here for you for support too!

ashm1220

Thank you so much ladies for your support. Not too many people IRL even know I'm pregnant and no one knows the specifics. I really appreciate the kind words and I feel so much better now that its off my chest. I'm choosing life and to love this baby no matter what. Yall are such a breathe of fresh air! ❤

wintersong

ashm1220 said:

Thank you so much ladies for your support. Not too many people IRL even know I'm pregnant and no one knows the specifics. I really appreciate the kind words and I feel so much better now that its off my chest. I'm choosing life and to love this baby no matter what. Yall are such a breathe of fresh air! ❤

That is a lot of weighty emotion to keep bottled up--im glad you could share! Sometimes it's easier to talk about things like this with strangers. You get to work through your feelings and ideas before sharing them with someone who's opinions and judgment really matter to you. At least that's how I feel! This is definitely not something to be flamed over...you ARE choosing life and love, and you KNOW you can do this. 

MrsNap_515

not flaming at all, but it might be hard to get honest feedback on a board devoted to expecting moms excited to be moms and planning their future babies, as well as ladies who strive to become mommies and can't and suffer through infertility treatments in order to have their babies.

I know you have a hard decision to make, but you're already on this board, so I think that shows a lot of what you want to do, and I wouldn't let a man make my decision for me, you need to do what you feel is right, if you have a support system already in place, I'm sure they wouldn't go away with another child....sending hugs for you!

librarymom917

No judgement here! I hope he either decides to be all in or not at all, the back and forth isn't fair to you.

jmacd22

That's tough. I do think kids really need both parents. Hopefully he steps up and changes his mind. 

AverageAsh

mcdonald-bailey said:

That's tough. I do think kids really need both parents. Hopefully he steps up and changes his mind. 

Better to have one solid parent than one solid parent and a flip flopper.

jmacd22

@AverageAsh exactly why I said I hope he steps up. Stepping up meaning not being a flip flopper. Kids still want both parents in their lives, even if one is a "flip flopper" I have witnessed this on multiple occasions. 

gracie4400

I'm sorry that you're going through this @ashm1220. Hang in there!

joyfuljenny

@ashm1220 I think your baby is lucky to have such a strong and brave mama who loves him/her so much already! 

Jparisi926

@ashm1220 rolling up late to this party but I want to say how much I commend you as a woman and as a mother. ESPECIALLY because you have 2 other children to think about. 
You are strong and brave. You CAN do this and you will. I couldn't agree more with some of the other posts to find your support system. Keeping in mind that they may have questions and you may feel a little judgement, stand your ground and explain your thoughts. They will come around because they love you and they will love your baby too! 

ashm1220

I don't know you ladies but you all make me feel so much better about my decisions! Thank you so much for the support and positive thinking. 

Burrberrymum

Like PP mentioned, you're strong and brave. I'm sure it's a scary decision to make but you're making this decision for yourself and your family, not anyone else, and you're an amazing woman for loving your babies no matter the circumstances. Good luck to you, positive thoughts.