Stemming off the nursing suggestions... Make sure you have lose fitting bras and are using lanolin after every feeding (buy a few tubes and keep them in various areas where you nurse). I got mastitis 3 times bc my bras were too tight - so painful !
@Shiva14 - I am not too worried about getting sleep. Not only is my son a great sleeper, but he is also a total daddy's boy. He will still go to daycare during the week. And on the weekends, my husband will play with DS and let me nap while the baby naps.
This exactly, with the exception of DD not being much of a Daddy's girl. Her wanting me when I'm dead tired and need to rest will be tough but it'll only be an issue on the weekend. I'll have the week to "recover" while she is in daycare so that a couple of days per week where I'm stretched a little thin (in the best interests of both kiddos) will be manageable.
@Shiva14 - I am not too worried about getting sleep. Not only is my son a great sleeper, but he is also a total daddy's boy. He will still go to daycare during the week. And on the weekends, my husband will play with DS and let me nap while the baby naps.
This exactly, with the exception of DD not being much of a Daddy's girl. Her wanting me when I'm dead tired and need to rest will be tough but it'll only be an issue on the weekend. I'll have the week to "recover" while she is in daycare so that a couple of days per week where I'm stretched a little thin (in the best interests of both kiddos) will be manageable.
*** Stuck in box***
I hate you both a little bit...
Just kidding!!!!
DS has always been an awful sleeper and even at 2yo, we struggle to get him down for a nap and down at night.
I am lucky enough that my mom and MIL are able to take DS 3 days a week which means we don't have him in daycare (and that H and I never have a day off together ). Unfortunately I don't think this will continue on a regular schedule while I am off because the need isn't as pressing. DH works 60+ hours a week and is often gone from 8-8.
I'll remind my self that one day, I'll sleep again lol. Maybe this LO will be an awesome sleeper.
@Shiva14 - I am not too worried about getting sleep. Not only is my son a great sleeper, but he is also a total daddy's boy. He will still go to daycare during the week. And on the weekends, my husband will play with DS and let me nap while the baby naps.
This exactly, with the exception of DD not being much of a Daddy's girl. Her wanting me when I'm dead tired and need to rest will be tough but it'll only be an issue on the weekend. I'll have the week to "recover" while she is in daycare so that a couple of days per week where I'm stretched a little thin (in the best interests of both kiddos) will be manageable.
I am worried out about it. My daughter sleeps well, but she won't be going to daycare, and she also prefers me. DH will take the reigns on the weekends and let me get rest, but I feel like the weeks will stretch long at the beginning.
Re: diapers. So I found that if it leaks at the leg, it may be too big. OR the ruffle is tucked in. STM tip: Make sure the ruffle around the leg is out or poop will come out of it. If it shoots up the back, it can be that the diaper is too small. But sometimes that just happens with poops and the diaper fits.
Re: nursing. Yes, use lots of lanolin or whichever nipple cream you prefer. And use it before your shower, and don't get soap on your nipples.
Re: yes sleep when they sleep! Everyone will tell you that and you won't do it. Haha I also plan to sleep after I get my epidural this time, because if it's like last time, I won't be able to sleep the night after I have her because of adrenaline. I was able to sleep about 20 min last time during labor but I wish I would've tried earlier and got more. I look like shit in my pictures haha
I'm just reading this whole thread and I have this to say:
FTM's - Don't sweat all this small stuff. I see a lot of people worrying about problems that they might not even encounter. Cross those bridges when you get to them! All the BTDT moms here just winged it anyway. And we all still are. And you will too and it will be FINE. No matter what is said in this thread, what works for some will not work for all and you'll be in the trenches having to troubleshoot on your own anyway. You'll be trying to fake it til you make it just like the rest of us.
A thought I always had when I was second guessing one of my decisions was, "if crackheads can do it, I can." Lol there are kids in much worse conditions and homes than yours and they make it out. So your child is even better off, no matter what mistakes you make.
maybe that's a crappy way to think, but t helped me!
Adding to the lanolin recommendation for breastfeeding... the gel pads are amazing relief for sore nipples, especially after popping them in the fridge.
Adding to the lanolin recommendation for breastfeeding... the gel pads are amazing relief for sore nipples, especially after popping them in the fridge.
Oh yes!!! The Soothies Gel pads saved my life. Seriously, I'll buy like 6 pairs and switch them out each time. They have vitamin E and other healing vitamins in them and they feel so good on burning nipples!
A thought I always had when I was second guessing one of my decisions was, "if crackheads can do it, I can." Lol there are kids in much worse conditions and homes than yours and they make it out. So your child is even better off, no matter what mistakes you make.
maybe that's a crappy way to think, but t helped me!
I used to drive through the ghetto in my town and think "man, I'm not doing so bad at this parenting stuff". It was one of the only things that gave me reassurance lol
Get the Wonder Weeks app- it shows what development growth your baby is experiencing and what it looks like. Also, just when you feel like you've got your groove, something will change and you'll have to readjust. Also, when your baby has their first shots, it will be more painful for you than it is for them. Newborns essentially just need to be fed, diapers changed, and a safe place to sleep.
@KimmySchmidt you said what I was thinking! Things that work for some won't work for all. Advice is great, books are great, but just knowing that it may not work for you is important.
I personally was not prepared for how excruciating breastfeeding can be for the first couple of weeks. In hospital, DD was sleepy and wouldn't want to latch/eat, which made me feel like a total failure. I thought it would be natural and beautiful, and sometimes it's hard and frustrating. And that's ok. When we were home, there were many feedings that I cried through because it hurt so bad. I just wasn't prepared mentally for that. It's fantastic, but HARD at first.
As a FTM, we attended the Newborn Care class recently and were taught not to generally put baby on a schedule, to echo the BTDT moms.
We also learned (and BTDT moms, your opinion?) no lotions, soap, or baby wipes during the first four weeks as they contain ingredients that can be absorbed by baby. Use dry wipes or washcloths and moisten them with water instead.
@frogdog06 yes to the lotion and soap. Their skin gets super dry and soap dries it out more. With DD1 I didn't know about lotion and used it on her poor peeling feet. It helped and she's fine! I never heard that about wipes though...I'll be using wipes from birth!
@frogdog06 I heard the lotion one, our pedi was pretty vocal about that. Also, you don't need to bathe baby every day. Like every other day or every 3 days is good. I always try to think about things from a caveman perspective haha (I'm really only a little crunchy, but that sounds full on granola) but really, skin oils are important and you don't want to wash those off daily. As far as wipes, I've never heard that one. I feel like wash cloths would be pretty harsh. If you're concerned, there's a brand of wipes called "Water Wipes" which are 99% water and like 1% aloe or something, I would grab some of those. I plan to use our regular wipes though. If I notice a rash, I switch to cloth for a while, but I use baby rags which are softer than our rags.
@KimmySchmidt you said what I was thinking! Things that work for some won't work for all. Advice is great, books are great, but just knowing that it may not work for you is important.
I personally was not prepared for how excruciating breastfeeding can be for the first couple of weeks. In hospital, DD was sleepy and wouldn't want to latch/eat, which made me feel like a total failure. I thought it would be natural and beautiful, and sometimes it's hard and frustrating. And that's ok. When we were home, there were many feedings that I cried through because it hurt so bad. I just wasn't prepared mentally for that. It's fantastic, but HARD at first.
I hear that, girl! Breastfeeding didn't work for us and there were a LOT of tears shed.
If if there was one thing that worked for everyone, there would be one parenting book, not thousands.
I'm with @MrsVoorhees. All we avoided at first was lotion. We used a gentle, non-scented soap and only washed every 3 days. And we used wipes from birth... the hospital gave some to us while we were there.
Actually, now that I think about it regarding soap... I *think* we didn't use it until her cord fell off, and we could bathe her in her tub.
So what's the deal with lotion? Just that their skin shouldn't be absorbing whatever is in it at first? Is it just for 4 weeks?
That, and, they don't need it. They'll have flaky skin from now being in the dry world coming out of fluid, but it's supposed to shed. Their skin isn't dry, it's just adapting to its environment. And, like you said, you don't want them absorbing the stuff in the lotion.
@frogdog06 - in the spirit of "different strokes for different folks"... we started bathing Emmett every evening by probably 3 or 4 weeks. We used Johnson and Johnson baby soap and lotioned him up afterward and his skin has never been dried out by that routine... in fact it's part of a our bedtime routine and he still gets tubby time and lotion every night. We all really really enjoy it. The first week we basically sponge bathed him every other day in the sink, before his cord stump fell off (but still used a small amount of soap on the washcloth). After that we started doing tubby baths.
I did for about 12 months with DD. She blew out with every poop, so I tried every diaper and Honest would contain them 50% of the time, compared to 0% with everything else. They definitely weren't worth the extra cost though, besides that. They are pretty stiff, compared to pampers swaddlers. I worried DD's hips would be messed up because of the bulk in the crotch. (That's what she said) Also, I had a few size 5's and used one the other day and she peed through it in 2 hours. However, I am thankful for the poop containment 50% of the time haha!
For the life of me I can't remember when we started using lotion on McKenna. She still gets it after baths, and I've been bringing it up to DH almost everytime we bathe her now, hoping somehow one of us will remember so we can start around the same time with Layla. At this point, it's clear to me we will be winging that again.
@MrsVoorhees I would say I'm semi crunchy and FI is full on granola so he really likes the eco friendly less chemicals part and I like that they are cheaper than the other eco friendly brands lol
@AnnaS930 We also started nightly baths early on. I was adamant about have some sort of a 'bedtime' routine at night, so we did bath and then lights got turned low, even if we were all up. I wanted something to signify night, quiet, and sleep to her. We'll do the same thing this time.
@MrsVoorhees I would say I'm semi crunchy and FI is full on granola so he really likes the eco friendly less chemicals part and I like that they are cheaper than the other eco friendly brands lol
I definitely appreciated that side of it! And if Claire is the same type of pooper as DD1, (which I'm thinking is likely because j think her poopsplosions may be because of how fast she ate because of my milk fire hose) I will totally use them again. I didn't *hate* them, but I definitely like the Pampers Swaddlers better. They are hella cute though.
My son is 20 months and we still don't do daily baths. We only bathe him 2-3 times a week. In the beginning, it was once a week (Sunday nights) with a bonus bath if needed (larger diaper blowouts or major vomiting)
@drmh22 - Dec14 mamas, UNITE! I was all about creating a "bedtime routine" before going back to work at 10 weeks. We've kept that routine with a few tweaks along the way (changing times a bit as we saw fit, when he gave up his bottle that eliminated the bottle/rocking in the dark nursery, etc). He's had a very easy time with bedtime and I'm HOPING some of that as attributable to giving him a good routine with lots of clues and reminders that it's bedtime so that we can repeat it... but i'm just living in a fantasy world.
Also, don't be concerned about baby acne, unless it bothers your baby. But it generally bothers mom more than baby. Totally normal and almost always clears up on its on.
Diapers - we tried Pampers at first and had blow outs. Switched to the Target brand at the recommendation of a friend and I hated them and they way they fit. We ultimately switched to Huggies and Luvs and never had an issue with either. Bottom line - be flexible and try different brands/sizes until you find what works. As for wipes, we used just plain wet cloths until the circumcision healed then switched to sensitive wipes. When they had a diaper rash we would switch back to just plain wet cloths until they healed again.
Nursing - I fed on demand in the beginning then threw in pumping (but I can't remember when that started) so I had a decent stash to go back to work with. In the beginning, I also remember thinking "Didn't I JUST feed you? How can you possibly be hungry again?". In the first few weeks, their little bellies only hold a small amount so it makes sense that they may need to eat more. I never woke a baby to eat. If they were sleeping and I was feeling "full", I pumped.
Bathing - I just wiped both babies off with mild baby soap and a washcloth then rinsed them off with a plain wet washcloth in the beginning. Once the stump fell off, we went right into bath mode, every couple of nights. I don't remember exactly when we started using lotion, but it was pretty early on and we never had an issues. My kids now are 4 and 5 and are filthy beasts, especially in the summertime, so need baths every other day at a minimum.
Schedule - no way. I tried to make it obvious when it was daytime vs nighttime, but I let baby put me on a schedule and not the other way around. It made things so much easier when I adjusted to them (learning when they eat, when they're most/least cranky, what positions they like/dislike...) instead of trying to force an arbitrary schedule on them.
FTM's will figure all of this out, I promise! Trust your pediatrician and your gut. You'll never stop worrying if you're "doing it right" so don't ever think that will go away when they (insert milestone here). Just do the best you can, love them and remember - we're all in this together!
There was no set schedule with DD, she would eat about every 2 to 3 hours and usually fall asleep after that. My husband was on leave for the first month with me so we took turns feeding as we FF. During the day it kind of depended but we would usually go for a walk during the day and most days did something like meet up with friends or family, go to lunch, go to the mall to walk around, or run errands. It was also great just to put on a movie and have lots of baby snuggle time. One thing that helped me feel most normal was I took a shower everyday.
Oh!! Mom's planning to formula feed: your milk WILL still come in and you will be a pornstar boob for a bit and it will hurt. I'm not sure of the tips to relieve that and dry it up quicker, because my goal was the opposite to make as much milk as I could haha, my FF sisters can give some advice on that!
Oh!! Mom's planning to formula feed: your milk WILL still come in and you will be a pornstar boob for a bit and it will hurt. I'm not sure of the tips to relieve that and dry it up quicker, because my goal was the opposite to make as much milk as I could haha, my FF sisters can give some advice on that!
Started formula feeding exclusively at 10 weeks. Luckily my milk was already regulated, so I wasn't trying to stop when they were bursting. I ended up hand expressing each morning in the shower, as it relieved the pressure/pain of the fullness but does not encourage the body to make more (as pumping/nursing do). I would also pump about as often as I was when actually nursing but for shorter durations of time.. never emptied either breast... this can be dangerous as it can lead to clogged ducts, but I was lucky not to experience that. I also bought a head of cabbage and used cold cabbage leaves inside of my bra for relief.. it might be an old wive's tale but it seemed to help, if even just a placebo effect. I stopped nursing on a Thursday, and went back to work after maternity leave the following Monday and did not have to pump while at work. It was uncomfortable, but hand expressing in the morning, and pumping a bit off when I got home did the trick, others would most likely suggest a much longer/drawn out weaning schedule.
Also decreased water intake, not enough to be dehydrated, but enough that it cut back on my supply.
What are the chances that my boobs wont get bigger lol
Oh. My sweet baby. Probably not good. Mine went up 3 cup sizes and then after stayed a cup size bigger than normal. Now they're 2 cups bigger, and I expect I'll be 3 by nursing.
@Megan324 - My guess (and it's an uneducated one..) is that they'll blow up the day your milk comes in, and as your supply regulates they'll be similar to the size that they've become during pregnancy. That could be completely wrong.. but I'm saying there's a chance!
I've been a candidate for breast reduction surgery since I was 15 but I've always been too scared to go under the knife but I think I might after I am done breast feeding. I went from a training bra at 12 to a D at 13 and I was an F from 15-20 and since putting on weight I am now an H. I don't think I could handle them getting any bigger hahaha. Here's hoping its minimal!
@Megan324 - I would actually consider doing the opposite and getting mine bumped up a bit when done nursing because I just had a hard time feeling sexy with what I was left with post-nursing... grew up a C cup, but lost some weight in college and became more of a B, after breastfeeding they were a very flat, minimal B. But, fear of going under the knife (and botched surgeries) I don't think I'll ever do it.. very different since mine is purely cosmetic while a reduction is often more for comfort/shoulder and back health, etc.
Going to be investing in some legit push-up bras after having baby/done nursing.. and continue my never-nude ways into sexy time! hahahaha
Re: Ask a BTDT: Newborn 101
Re: nursing. Yes, use lots of lanolin or whichever nipple cream you prefer. And use it before your shower, and don't get soap on your nipples.
Re: yes sleep when they sleep! Everyone will tell you that and you won't do it. Haha I also plan to sleep after I get my epidural this time, because if it's like last time, I won't be able to sleep the night after I have her because of adrenaline. I was able to sleep about 20 min last time during labor but I wish I would've tried earlier and got more. I look like shit in my pictures haha
FTM's - Don't sweat all this small stuff. I see a lot of people worrying about problems that they might not even encounter. Cross those bridges when you get to them! All the BTDT moms here just winged it anyway. And we all still are. And you will too and it will be FINE. No matter what is said in this thread, what works for some will not work for all and you'll be in the trenches having to troubleshoot on your own anyway. You'll be trying to fake it til you make it just like the rest of us.
But that's ok - you got this!
maybe that's a crappy way to think, but t helped me!
I personally was not prepared for how excruciating breastfeeding can be for the first couple of weeks. In hospital, DD was sleepy and wouldn't want to latch/eat, which made me feel like a total failure. I thought it would be natural and beautiful, and sometimes it's hard and frustrating. And that's ok. When we were home, there were many feedings that I cried through because it hurt so bad. I just wasn't prepared mentally for that. It's fantastic, but HARD at first.
We also learned (and BTDT moms, your opinion?) no lotions, soap, or baby wipes during the first four weeks as they contain ingredients that can be absorbed by baby. Use dry wipes or washcloths and moisten them with water instead.
every 3 days is good. I always try to think about things from a caveman perspective haha (I'm really only a little crunchy, but that sounds full on granola) but really, skin oils are important and you don't want to wash those off daily. As far as wipes, I've never heard that one. I feel like wash cloths would be pretty harsh. If you're concerned, there's a brand of wipes
called "Water Wipes" which are 99% water and like 1% aloe or something, I would grab some of those. I plan to use our regular wipes though. If I notice a rash, I switch to cloth for a while, but I use baby rags which are softer than our rags.
If if there was one thing that worked for everyone, there would be one parenting book, not thousands.
Actually, now that I think about it regarding soap... I *think* we didn't use it until her cord fell off, and we could bathe her in her tub.
We will try them all but I like that honest and up&up don't have chlorine
Nursing - I fed on demand in the beginning then threw in pumping (but I can't remember when that started) so I had a decent stash to go back to work with. In the beginning, I also remember thinking "Didn't I JUST feed you? How can you possibly be hungry again?". In the first few weeks, their little bellies only hold a small amount so it makes sense that they may need to eat more. I never woke a baby to eat. If they were sleeping and I was feeling "full", I pumped.
Bathing - I just wiped both babies off with mild baby soap and a washcloth then rinsed them off with a plain wet washcloth in the beginning. Once the stump fell off, we went right into bath mode, every couple of nights. I don't remember exactly when we started using lotion, but it was pretty early on and we never had an issues. My kids now are 4 and 5 and are filthy beasts, especially in the summertime, so need baths every other day at a minimum.
Schedule - no way. I tried to make it obvious when it was daytime vs nighttime, but I let baby put me on a schedule and not the other way around. It made things so much easier when I adjusted to them (learning when they eat, when they're most/least cranky, what positions they like/dislike...) instead of trying to force an arbitrary schedule on them.
FTM's will figure all of this out, I promise! Trust your pediatrician and your gut. You'll never stop worrying if you're "doing it right" so don't ever think that will go away when they (insert milestone here). Just do the best you can, love them and remember - we're all in this together!
During the day it kind of depended but we would usually go for a walk during the day and most days did something like meet up with friends or family, go to lunch, go to the mall to walk around, or run errands. It was also great just to put on a movie and have lots of baby snuggle time.
One thing that helped me feel most normal was I took a shower everyday.
be a pornstar boob for a bit and it will hurt. I'm not sure of the tips to relieve that and dry it up quicker, because my goal was the opposite to make as much milk as I could haha, my FF sisters can give some advice on that!
Also decreased water intake, not enough to be dehydrated, but enough that it cut back on my supply.
@MrsVoorhees I literally just laughed out loud.
I've been a candidate for breast reduction surgery since I was 15 but I've always been too scared to go under the knife but I think I might after I am done breast feeding.
I went from a training bra at 12 to a D at 13 and I was an F from 15-20 and since putting on weight I am now an H.
I don't think I could handle them getting any bigger hahaha. Here's hoping its minimal!
Going to be investing in some legit push-up bras after having baby/done nursing.. and continue my never-nude ways into sexy time! hahahaha