Delivery Day Question

mommyroo81

I will be induced in 1 week 7/27 and I don't want to tell anyone as far as some family and friends. My main reason being I don't want to be bombarded with texts and calls every hour about how I'm doing. I already get daily texts asking for updates and I'm so sick of them. I also don't want the waiting room full of people rushing into my room after I have my son or people announcing I'm in labor on social media without our consent. Last year I went into early term and lost my son shortly after I gave birth to him. This pregnancy hasn't been easy either and I feel like I want to be a little selfish and just enjoy my baby for a few hours without people coming in my room and asking to hold him. I'm I being out of line? I was already told I suck because I don't want anyone else in the delivery room but my fiance and my mother.

MamaKSquared

When you tell people and who you want in the delivery room is 100% up to you. This is not a time that you need added stress and people will get over it. 

If you suck, I'm the devil because it's just DH in the room for me. 

ThisisNumber3

I would not tell anyone about the induction (or maybe just be vague about the date like, we are just waiting to hear from the OB and hospital and will head in when we are scheduled).  

Have you asked your hospital about their privacy practices?  Our hospital has you sign a form where you can be left off the patient list.  So if someone were to come in to see you or call to see if you're there, they would not give out that information.  

amandazap

@MommyVal81, I am having a scheduled c-section on 8/8 at 7am. I have already told extended family that we are only allowing parents and siblings to visit. We will be having an open house on Sat and Sun following my release from the hospital for family and friends. No one has given me grief about it yet.

TCUFrog08

I don't think you suck at all. It's your right. I am sorry people are acting like that.

I am being induced the same day as you. There are a handful of people that know the date, but no one knows the time. We we are having a c-section and don't want people coming in for a few hours. 

Ive told the people that know the date, that I don't want things put on Facebook till we allow it, but I've always been a "Facebook Meany" so it's expected from my friends and family. 

Do do what makes YOU and your DH happy.  That's all that matters. 

charmedlifex3

Or amend @amandazap 's statement - we are only allowed immediate family to visit. I know when we did our tour the labor and delivery nurses said "feel free to make us the bad guys - we'll support whatever you tell people. We don't have to see *your* friends and family ever again - you do!"

ballofmeat

Allisun85 said:

Or amend @amandazap 's statement - we are only allowed immediate family to visit. I know when we did our tour the labor and delivery nurses said "feel free to make us the bad guys - we'll support whatever you tell people. We don't have to see *your* friends and family ever again - you do!"

Those nurses rock! My midwife said the same thing, that if she had to kick people out she would for us. This is why I am making little treat bags for the nursing staff during our stay. 

lotsofsunshine

I plan on telling only my mom and MIL when we are headed to the hospital. DH can update them as he chooses. But I dont want anyone in the hospital to visit us until at least a few hours after baby is born. I'm hoping it will be in the middle of the night.

mamaqdubu

In my hospital they have a secret system set up with the nurses. If you call the nursing station and ask for grape soda (which they don't have) its cue for them to come be the bad guys and kick out the visitors. They will just be like "sorry everyone needs to leave, time for a mom and baby check" 

genius. 

kecoff01

When I had my first I only had my husband and my mom in the room during the delivery. Nobody told me that I was a bad guy for it, but I think that maybe my MIL was a little hurt. But I plan on doing it the same way this time. This is the time for you to say what you do and don't want and not let anybody make you feel bad about that. 

I will be induced at 37 weeks because I was diagnosed with preeclampsia yesterday, but we don't have a date yet. I go for a BPP/NST tomorrow and I'm guessing we will discuss a date then. I haven't decided if I will tell everyone the date yet or not 

PineappleMD

@caitlinj187 that's awesome! Every hospital should have a secret code like that.  
Our hospital said the same as some others mentioned - they will be the bad guys and the "rules" will be whatever we want them to be - no visitors for the first 24 hours, no one stays longer than 1 hour, etc - whatever we want!

@MommyVal81 you do whatever is comfortable for you.  You're the one doing all the work and going through all the pain - so you're the one who gets to call the shots.

amandazap

Allisun85 said:

Or amend @amandazap 's statement - we are only allowed immediate family to visit. I know when we did our tour the labor and delivery nurses said "feel free to make us the bad guys - we'll support whatever you tell people. We don't have to see *your* friends and family ever again - you do!"

That works too. I just have 0 guilt about being the bad guy lol no shame here.

Snaps816

Whoever told you that you suck -- sucks!  Especially if they know about the loss you've been through. Based on what I've read on these boards and heard from other pregnant women that I know, most people only want their partner and sometimes a mom or sister in the room with them. It's pretty much the norm. Yeah, the new baby arriving is exciting and fun, but people seem to forget that during that time there is the potential for a lot of pain, frustration, crying, bodily fluids, and the risk of real medical emergencies. What about that says, "this would be a great time for me to hang around and watch?" I just don't get it. 

You should do whatever you feel comfortable with and feel zero guilt about it. Good luck to you! 

Mrsrundell

How rude! People can be so self absorbed when it comes to respecting a new mothers wishes. You do you boo boo. 

Luckily the issue has never been who will be in the delivery room - my mom and MIL both said they didn't want to be in there before we brought it up so that was easy.  I'm just going to feel a bit of pressure to have our moms and dads come into the room to see the baby soon.  I Let everyone know that they only allow your husband on the labor/delivery floor - visitors are allowed on the post partum recovery floor.  My DH told everyone that we need time to give me a shower and try breast feeding before we get visitors.  Everyone wants to be camped out in the waiting room so I just have to let it go and realize this isn't their first rodeo - they will be fine waiting for me and baby to be ready.  

Fremdschamen

Not at all unreasonable.  We only told trusted immediate family and my BFF before going in for my induction.  None of our family is local, so we knew they wouldn't be at the hospital, and BFF knew to stay away until invited.  Everyone was asked not to post on social media, and no one did.

Even if we had family in town, no one would be invited to the hospital until after baby was born and we felt ready for visitors.  Thankfully, we have family who would respect that.  If we did not, I would absolutely do what you are doing and tell everyone once baby has arrived.  This is an event that is really only between you and DH (and any siblings).  Everyone else is a outsider and you get to decide what information they get and when.

StarLiteKiss

We have a scheduled repeat c section. And of course DH will be at my side. As far as family goes our parents, grandparents will get to see baby after we have had our bonding time and we are making it clear that our kids will have bonding time with their baby sister with us and Noone else in the room during that specific time.  

 I am still trying to figure out a "nice" way to tell my SIL to not post our delivery announcement on Facebook before we say anything(she posted pictures and made the whole announcement without asking us first). 

jlmwood

We have already made it clear that our three yr old along with my mom who keeping him will be the first visitors after I get cleaned up. DH and my doulas will be the only ones in the room. I'm not too concerned about the whole social media thing, since 1)DH will be updating and 2) I'll have bigger things on my mind.

karlimonster

My last delivery was so crowded and hectic with everyone waiting, it was a really stressful experience. This time will either be spontaneous labor or a back-up repeat c-section. Either way the family is being prepped that big brother visits first and everyone else will visit later in the day (depending on delivery time). I anticipate an 8:30am surgery and I know if I didn't make myself clear some people would be in the waiting room before then. They may not mind waiting, but I do not enjoy the pressure. Stand firm, this is a very personal experience for you and your partner, don't be bullied into the experience you don't feel comfortable with. 

gadzooks_3

I have a scheduled induction and have only told my mother and a close friend (and obvs DH knows). It really isn't anyone else's business. It is a birth not a show, no one has the right to watch it. We will announce once baby us born and we have had some time to bond.