TTCAL Check-In: Week of July 18

BornReady

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new):

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.):

3. Rants/raves:

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?

BornReady

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Waiting for FET in approximately 20 days! Finishing up birth control tonight, thank goodness.

3. Rants/raves: I started a new book last night called "Many lives, Many Masters". It was recommended by someone and is about past lives etc. and how we are here to keep learning lessons and how the challenges we face are a reflection of that. I guess I'm trying to find purpose in this painful journey. I was pretty drawn in, I read until way too late and was up way too early, but can't wait to read more tonight.

Otherwise my mood stinks and I'm working to move forward. I am fixated at looking back on the time I waited to TTC and having trouble finding gratitude for my present. I hope I can pull out of it soon and I'm hopeful that it is the birth control that is a major contributor to my mood downturn. Thanks for letting me vent ladies!

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?
I'm normally a cereal or smoothie person in the mornings. When we eat breakfast out I love sweet bread french toast or fried egg sandwiches with diner home fries that are salty and kind of burnt.

AliciaGoose

@BornReady I am sorry you are having a rough time mood wise right now. I really think the birth control could be causing it for sure. Hopefully after you're off of it for a bit you will notice a difference.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO, CD 14

3. Rants/raves: I'm starting to get nervous that O is going to be late this month. I'm usually a CD 18 or 19 person. But by this point I am typically starting to get some symptoms, and so far I haven't. My BFP cycle was a weird long cycle with a CD 27 O. My post miscarriage cycle I know doesn't really count but that was CD30. I'm just nervous my cycles are starting to get weird and unpredictable and it's making me stressed, which in turn could make things worse!

On a different note, DH and I skipped a 1 year olds birthday party yesterday because we found out her parents were going to announce they were KU with #2 at the party. We had a nice day with friends only to come home and run into a couple in our apartment complex who we've been avoiding because they're KU and due a couple weeks before I would have been. Since they haven't seen us in a while they announced to us and told us about all of the exciting things happening in their lives. And even showed us the ultrasound. 

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?
Quick and easy. Greek yogurt and a piece of fruit. Usually a banana. I do like big breakfasts but I don't like having to cook them. My favorite is chipped beef on toast!

dpjennifer

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): CD 18.  I think I'm still WTO, but honestly I haven't been consistently tracking my temps or CM this cycle since I'm trying to take a few steps back from all the obsessiveness.  We're sorta NTNP this cycle.

3. Rants/raves: So, I put an announcement on FB yesterday for my 2 miscarriages.  I really wanted to do this since they have impacted my life and changed me so much, but was concerned about the reception of it and hurtful comments that could be made.  But I took the chance and posted it and am really glad that I have.  I've gotten a lot of positive response, and have found others who have gone through MC, and even those in a similar situation as me that have wanted to open up and share with someone.  So I'm very glad that I broke the silence on this issue for myself.
Also, my sister (wonderful techy design type person that she is), made the following for me to post with my announcement, and I thought I'd share it here in case it would help any of you or if anyone ever wanted to use it.  


4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?
I'm not a huge breakfast fan, and have been really pushing myself to do better in this department.  So on days when I'm at home I tend to have eggs.  When I'm going to work I have some sort of granola/protein/breakfast bar within an hour of waking up, and fruit and whatnot later on.

@BornReady I hope your day gets better and that you can find some happiness today!  I also greatly miss the pre-TTCAL days and am jealous I'll never know the pure joy and happiness, without anxiety and fear of a MC, while PG.

Amdogger82

@BornReady The book sounds fascinating. I'm sorry you're not feeling the best. This is in no way to minimize what you're feeling, but I bet some of it is the birth control. It made me crazy sometimes. I also think it's normal to sometimes find it difficult to have gratitude for the present when you think decisions you made in the past are negatively impacting your present. Please don't be too hard on yourself. I know people say hindsight is 20/20, but I don't always agree with that, because sometimes when we look back we forget the reasons we made the decisions we did, and the reasons were good the decisions were the right ones at the time. 

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Limbo at CD 16. I usually O around CD 24 but I have had two days of high temps, and I am not sure if I O'ed or if I just suck at sleeping lately. Supposedly my acupuncturist is trying to help me O sooner, and this is my first real cycle post mc. I had several days of Wondfo OPKs with faint lines, but not bold, unquestionable O lines. So who the heck knows. I guess I will find out tomorrow morning.

3. Rants/raves: Rant: I think my status was a good little rant.
Raves: Work has been nuts, but yesterday was the perfect unplugged day. We found a great trail system close to our house and went for a hike in the morning,  and then rode bikes to the beach in the afternoon, and the water was even warm enough to swim, which I was not expecting. It was good to just play outside for a day. 

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?

I have to eat breakfast or I can't seem to wake up. In the summer it's just cold cereal and then in the winter it's oatmeal. I'm pretty boring. I love going out to brunch, though! We went to New Orleans a couple years ago and I fell in love with grits... I need to learn how to make them!

SoonToBeMommaHowe

2) CD44, 11dpo. BFN @ 10dpo

3) I already posted my rant in the TWW thread but whateves I'll share here too. I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner on Friday and someone I didn't know actually came up and rubbed my belly and said awww...WTF. I have put on a little weight..I'm 5'10, 152 lbs but I did not think my belly was big enough to be rubbed, grr. And then when I thought it couldn't get any worse my friend who was TTA bc her DH doesn't want a second kid BDd a cpl weeks ago for the first time in TWO MONTHS and he "pulled out" and of course she text me Saturday and told me she's pregnant. 
Rave: Despite those two events I still had a fabulous time at my friends wedding. And although I basically gave up drinking when we got serious about TTC in Dec '14, I definitely adopted the drink til it's pink attitude this weekend.

 GYKY: I'm typically an eggs and fruit bfast person but I made blueberry muffins and banana bread for our dogsitters this weekend and they didn't eat it all so I indulged on that this morning! 

chloe97

Status: CD 64 (or more likely CD 29- with a no bleeding 1st period) 11/12 DPO. I've been cramping a lot so I was expecting a temp drop today. But still hanging up there. AF should finally show her head this week. What form it takes, I have no idea.

Rants/Raves: Well my hormones are back and with it my hormonal meltdowns. I've posted separately about the friend who decided to reply all to my email about losing our baby at 13 weeks announcing her pregnancy and she's due the week I was. I've also posted about my insanely thin endo lining which has me VERY concerned. Saturday night I cried for the first time in 6 weeks. I t was a long and convulsing cry.

I was able to connect with one person on BabyCenter who had a D&C and her endo lining was 6 mm after ovulation a couple months after D&C. It took a few months but her lining built up.She did not have scarring. I'm praying this is what's going on with me. The MFM who did my last D&C was super experienced and I barely had any placenta so I was a super quick and easy procedure for him. I try to keep thinking about this to feel better about my chances of not having scarring.

 I'm going to start back with acupuncture, drink the raspberry tea, and start a baby aspirin daily to try to build it back up. We were planning to wait til September to TTC again, so I have 2 cycles to get this back to normal. 

GTKY: I just eat fruit for breakfast on a normal day.

I gotta run, but will come back to respond to people in a bit.

roper2617

2 Status: TWW currently 1 dpo so still have a way to go. The good news is I am leaving for vacation next Tuesday and have enough to do between now and then to kept my mind occupied and the SS at a minimum. 

3 Rant/Raves: All raves this morning for me. I am so so excited because for the first time in a very long time I got a huge, blaring, no doubt about it, positive OPK this weekend. The test line was even darker than the control line. I drove up to see DH at work and we had pretty great timing. We got -1 and 0. My fingers are crossed. 

4 GTKY: I have to have a hot breakfast. Not a cereal and milk fan over here. I also can not go without eating breakfast, I start feeling nauseated and dizzy if I don't eat anything before lunch. Usually it's oatmeal because it quick, easy and so versatile. Recently I've been making an oatmeal bake on Sunday (thanks Pinterest!) and it lasts me through the week (just me eating it). It's so good. Just pop it in the microwave for a bit and it's good to go. 

@dpjennifer I love that, thank you for sharing. 

@BornReady sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. It's amazing how much havoc birth control can cause. I hope you feel better once it's all out of your system

@AliciaGoose Urg! So sorry you were bombarded with the people in your building. That's so awful. 

@Amdogger82 Limbo sucks! But I am glad that you had such a fun time outside 

@SoonToBeMommaHowe The worst!! I've straight up told people that nope, not a baby, just my fat! So damn rude! Urg! Also I hear you on the couple not wanting to get KU getting KU. Last week I found out that friends of ours are KU and they did not want to be. So frustrating. I'm glad you had a good time regardless though. 

@chloe97 I can not believe she didn't see the inappropriateness of that email! FX that your endo builds back up nicely. 

Edit: autocorrect sucks

dpjennifer

@chloe97 and @SoonToBeMommaHowe Sorry people were so rude!  Ugh.  I feel like people do NOT get what it's like unless they've had a MC.  Hope you guys are able to overcome.  
@roper2617 You're welcome.  I'm also glad I'm not the only one who's lost my filter at times.  The next person that asks me when we're having a baby is going to get an earful and wish they'd never asked!

lilylover27

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new):
Not new but haven't really been on the past week or two, needed to take a little mental health break. 1st pregnancy, MMC discovered at 12 weeks, babies heart stopped around 8 weeks, cytotec to induce MC in March.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO

3. Rants/raves: None really, just getting back on track and think the time off may have done some good for my anxiety. Still really anxious to go to Florida at the end of the month what with possible Zika threats and flying but also excited to see my best friend get married!

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?
Depends, sometimes I just do some toast during the weekdays or sometimes cereal depending on how much of a rush I'm in. Weekends it can be anything from eggs to bagels. DH and I love to make pancakes most weekends, it is fun to cook together!

fivetimesnoluck

Happy Monday!

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): CD8, already trying to keep the crazies at bay... Since we are moving to IUI, I am just anxious. No specific reason - just all of it.

3. Rants/raves: DH and I had a big fight on Saturday morning, about how this shit has taken over our lives. He said some things he really needed to get off his chest and I was oddly calm about it all. I let him vent and then he left for a little bit... When he got back, we talked and moved past it.
Then, as a punch to the gut, while I was backing up pics, I found (and stupidly watched) the video of the first time I told him we were expecting. It was Valentine's Day, 2013. It sent me reeling. Fortunately, he was there to pick me up and help me get past that too.
We ended up having a lovely weekend after all that drama. We even BD just for fun yesterday (which is admittedly too rare of an occurrence these days).

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends? I was always a not until lunch girl until recently. I don't cook often and have never been in the habit of eating breakfast during the week, but since TTC this go round, I have tried to improve that habit. I try to have some greek yogurt with strawberries and granola every morning at work.

@SoonToBeMommaHowe and @Chloe97 I am sorry you had those experiences this weekend. They are both simply awful.

@Amdogger82 Grits are glorious if cooked well. Living in the South, I have had good, bad, and in between. I didn't even like grits until I was an adult, but when they are good, they are soooo good. Like most things, the more butter you put in them, the better they are! And though I don't cook much, I don't believe they are hard to make.

@dpjennifer I am glad you posted what you did and that is sparked meaningful conversations. Before I quit FB, a friend from HS posted a moving story about her first pregnancy and loss - it garnered an unreal response and I believe it was cathartic for her. I daydream about it sometimes, but haven't yet followed through.

@BornReady You've got this! I am rooting for you! (But I get the anxiety and the feeling down.... it's a daily struggle to hold onto hope when I have so many reasons to believe it may not happen for us.) xo.

Aera11

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): limbo? Haha I seriously don't know what's going on with my body but she needs to get it together. I'm technically in the tww but poas and it was a bfn but AF should've been here yesterday so now I'm thinking maybe I didn't even O... 

3. Rants/raves: other than the above, not too much. My friend who I saw Friday who was due a week before me just had her baby. I'm so happy for her but it's made my impending due date that much harder. 

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?  I love breakfast food. During the week I keep to oatmeal or eggs/egg whites but on the weekends I usually splurge!

@BornReady I'm sorry you're having a hard time hugs! I'm right there with you.

@dpjennifer that's great you had such a wonderful response from everyone! I've often fantasized about doing that so I'm living vicariously through you.

mrsstuessy

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): not new, but not a regular poster on this board. So, as a refresher. I had an early miscarriage (CP, but not a huge fan of that term) on July 3rd. Trying for our 2nd. 

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): we are NTNP this cycle. I am sort of hoping I don't get a BFP this cycle because I have all sorts of plans on things to do different next cycle and also I don't think I am really ready emotionally. But, we didn't want to completely not have sex or go back to condoms. So, we have been having sex. But, I am probably at the beginning of my FW (if this cycle is pretty normal) and so we might lay off the sex for the rest of this week. I am on CD 16  and normally ovulate on CD 20, give or take a day. 

3. Rants/raves: I posted this in TTGP. But, it is probably a better post for this board. Super fertile church couple announced their 4th pregnancy/baby last week. They are due in March, which was supposed to be my birth month. And they couldn't have been more than 7 weeks pregnant when they announced. This will be their 2nd baby since my own DD was born. And they have 3 girls so of course every person commenting on Facebook and in person yesterday at church was hoping this is "finally their boy". I can't even you guys. Can't freaking even. I will never, ever feel comfortable announcing at barely 7 weeks pregnant after my loss. And it leads me to believe they have never been through one. (I know, you can't really know anyone's full story. But, I can mostly connect the dots there.) It just makes me so sad to know I will never really be all happy and carefree enough to announce to the world that I am pregnant at 7 weeks. And that was supposed to be me due at the beginning of March. And those poor, poor people having 3 healthy daughters. What I would give to have 3 healthy daughters right now. I definitely cried a couple of times since they announced that. And I avoided them entirely at church yesterday. I hope I can get over it before to long. They are a really nice couple with kids around DD's age. Also she told me a few times that when they got pregnant with their last she really wanted to hire me as her doula. I really need to put my big girl panties on about the whole thing. But, I am not quite ready for that yet. So, for now they are Facebook blocked and I am stomping my feet and pouting and punching pillows. 

My happiness for today is that I am getting my remembrance tattoo in a few hours. I am so excited! It will be my first tattoo, so I am a little nervous. But, I have been counting down the days for a week. And I got way more than enough birthday money to pay for it too. So, it is guilt free. 

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends? I don't eat breakfast. Sometimes I will eat breakfast for lunch because I am usually home. I am not hungry at all until about 11:30. I drink coffee, but that is usually it until noonish. 

brooklyngirl18

@BornReady  that book sounds really cool, I'd love to hear how you like it when you finish it.
@AliciaGoose that really sucks about your neighbors, I'm sorry  
@dpjennifer your facebook post is beautiful I'm glad you received a positive response from family and friends.
@Amdogger82 hopefully the acupuncture is working and you're starting to O earlier. 
@roper2617 yay on the timing! tell me more about the oatmeal bake, sounds delicious.
@lilylover27 it's good to see you back around here, we all need a break sometimes.
@fivetimesnoluck I'm sorry about your fight with DH but I'm glad you were able to recover and still have a nice weekend together.
@Aera11 I can totally relate. My SIL is due in 2 weeks and i'm thrilled for her but i'm anticipating having a meltdown since I was supposed to be very pregnant when meeting my new niece.
@mrsstuessy it's so hard seeing other couples have easy success with not a care in the world. be kind to yourself and give it time.


 1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): not new but I'll reintroduce myself for the newbies. Trying for #2, ectopic discovered in February.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): CD 4 cycle 3 ttcal.

3. Rants/raves: rave- for some strange reason as soon as I got AF last week I had a gut feeling that this is my month. I know I'll eat those words and be super upset if/when I get AF but I just had a really strange gut feeling. I guess time will tell.

**TW child mentioned**
not really a rant but I feel so bad for DS. 2 weeks ago he came down with an ear infection and was given antibiotics. last week he developed an allergic reaction to the antibiotics and broke out in a horrible rash all over his body and then saturday came down with Hand Foot and Mouth disease. the poor kid can't catch a break and I just feel awful. It's been a long few weeks in my house.
**TW over**

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends? I'm not really a breakfast person. I'll have a yogurt or breakfast bar several hours after waking up and then enjoy a hearty lunch. On weekends we like going to the diner or getting bagels.

chloe97

@bornready Thank you for the book recommendation! I've always believed I was reincarnated and so I'm pretty into that type of reading. 

@dpjennifer I'm glad posting about your miscarriages on Facebook was well-received. I've thought about it, but I just have too many work-related acquaintances on fb and I really don't want to have to talk to people about it at work with people I don't know well. I have started reaching out to certain groups of friends and individuals to let them know.

@roper2617 Yay for well-times BD! You must be so relieved with your H being out of town to have hit it so perfectly! Hoping for great news from you in the next couple weeks!

@lilylover27 I totally hear you on the Zika virus issues in Florida. The good news about Florida is that it's so hot in July/August you spend all your time indoors. My mom lives in Orlando and swears she NEVER gets mosquito bites. This was in response to me telling her that we probably wouldn't be coming this winter, so who knows how true it is. As far as I've read, Texas is the ONLY state with confirmed transmission so far. Just wear your bug spray when you are outside and you should be fine!

@mrsstuessy DH and I are benched and we are big fans of the pullout method if you can handle it. We do use condoms during my FW though after my weird false positive scare and now lining issues we really don't want to get pregnant this month. 

@Aera11 Maybe your O day was off? Want some chart stalking? My temping methods have been terrible this month, so I can't count on anything, but I figured I'd have a temp drop at 12 dpo and it shot up today again, so I'm assuming I got my O-date wrong. So I totally get your frustrations.

brooklyngirl18

@chloe97 there was a confirmed zika transmission case in texas??? i didn't hear about that. i don't plan on traveling to texas but that's scary. **runs to google**

fivetimesnoluck

@brooklyngirl18 @chloe97 I don't believe there has been a case of transmission attributed to the US, yet. This post from the Washington Post is supposed to be kept up to date. Also the CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/zika/geo/united-states.html has no reported cases of local infections.

I live in Georgia so I am keeping close tabs on this.

chloe97

Okay, maybe I am on crack, but I swore I read that somewhere this past weekend. Gotta ask my boss who sits on the CDC Zika calls. Will let you know.

fivetimesnoluck

@chloe97 I wouldn't doubt it if it had happened, but fortunately it hasn't yet. I just checked the Texas Dept. of Health too: https://www.dshs.texas.gov/news/updates.shtm which is says it is up to date as of today.

chloe97

Sorry false alarm!! There have be no official mosquito transmissions in the continental US yet! But, as @fivetimesnoluck says it probably had happened 

brooklyngirl18

@chloe97 whew i'm glad it's a false alarm but it's still so scary. I've read they're expecting a worldwide explosion of Zika following the olympics. Wonderful.

roper2617

@brooklyngirl18 I'll try to share the link. It's made with oatmeal, bananas, berries &chocolate chips but I often switch it up. Sometimes I do no banana, sometimes I do just one type of berry, it really depends what I have on hand. In the fall I want to give it a try with apples and cinnamon. Here the link I hope it works: https://pin.it/i_F9aMk 

@chloe97 so very relived! If DH was still at his old job we would've missed this window all together. 

mrsstuessy

@chloe97 good idea. I forgot about that one. Perhaps we will use that if we do it this week. We had quite a bit of sexy time over the last week, more than normal, so we might just cool it for a bit. But if we are feeling into it, I will suggest that to DH.

rainbowturtles

Hugs @BornReady , vent away

@AliciaGoose I'm sorry your cycles are being weird. This will be my 6th post-loss and my last two have been weird, also, and it's super stressing me out, so I understand. UGH. Brutal about your "neighbors" 

@dpjennifer that's beautiful and I hope you don't mind that I saved it

@SoonToBeMommaHowe I already expressed that I'm so sorry for what happened on the weekend, at the dinner and with your friend. But I also wanted to add HOLLAAAAA to another tall girl!!!

@fivetimesnoluck so sorry for the hard times but sounds like it might have actually brought you two closer together, ultimately

SHOUT OUTS to all whom I didn't mentions personally. I read every post and care for you all
2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): that's it, I'm gonna say it....OFFICIALLY OFF THE BENCH!!!! I know DH could change his mind at any time but I don't think he's going to this time and, well, I deserve to be excited about it So, I'm CD27 and had spotting this morning so I know AF is on her way and our first cycle TTC was unsuccessful. I was more upset a couple days ago than I am today. And, I hate to even say it, but in a weird way I think it's almost a good thing for DH to see that it's not just as easy as not pulling out *eyeroll*

3. Rants/raves: As for raves, we had a pretty nice weekend, despite my crabby hormonal attitude for part of it LOL Sunday we went on a really nice hike with all the dogs, and DH actually had a bad attitude at the beginning but it ended up nice I'm also really proud of myself for banging out an awesome workout today! The past month my workouts have been inconsistent so I'm really hoping to get back on track.

Rants: I'm a bit concerned I have a progesterone problem, so I will be googling the crap out of that later today. Just my last two charts look wonky as heck, temperature-wise, so of course, my brain goes to full paranoid mode. I am starting this cycle with a new BBT thermometer, and I stopped that one pill I was on (which was just something for constipation, but who knows). It's also been one month today since we moved, so there should be less *major* stress this cycle. Depending when AF starts officially, DH might be gone until somewhere between CD 7-9 and then gone again somewhere between CD 13-15 for 4 or more days, so I'm definitely concerned we might not have the chance to have great timing. He typically is an EOD'er but I will do my best to get all that I can from him in that 7-8day window for which he'll be home (and part of it will be traveling for a wedding, so lord help me lol)

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?

mmm I do love breakfast! When it's just me I usually have an omelet with veg and bacon or lately I've been having eggs and bakey with fruit, but also lately I've been cutting out the bacon altogether. I'm a healthy weight but would like to be a bit trimmer so I might even switch to smoothies soon, especially since I'm planning to buy a different kind of maca that might not be as good in my tea as the one I currently use.
BUT my favorite when I have time is to do something outstanding for breakfast like eggs benny or six minute eggs on a bed of amazing veggies. I do this for DH when we have the time, energy, and funds lol (stuff like prosciutto or smoked salmon). Regardless, he loves my breakfasts and calls me the Breakfast Queen

Aera11

That's what I was thinking @chloe97. Because I didn't get a positive opk until the day I got my hcg/trigger shot...so even though FF says that's the day I O'd, I feel like maybe it was later. 

My temps have dropped so I'm thinking it'll still be a bfn, I'm just more annoyed about the 'not knowing when AF will show' ugh. 

*edited for spelling

BornReady

@Aera11 When did you trigger, cd 14? I would just put your O date in manually and not go by temps if you took a trigger shot. Ovulation should be pretty reliable at 36-40 hours after trigger, and I have a feeling the shot might mess with your temps making them not a great indicator of O. 

SoonToBeMommaHowe

Thank you ladies for having my back and also thinking it was inappropriate for someone to rub my damn belly! I held it together all weekend at the wedding and then today totally crumbled and cried on the couch looking at a stupid BFN for three hours. Trouble TTC really really really sucks! Fingers crossed for better news tomorrow at 12dpo...I'm wondering if I should just not test bc a BFN might put me over the edge

@rainbowturtles gotta love tall chicks! How tall's DH? Mine's 6' so my selection of heels is limited 

Paisley81515

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): trying for #1. I had a MC May 31 at about 6 wks 1 day. I finally feel ready (and also that I need to) to talk about it. 

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO CD 8. Cycle 1 TTCAL (cycle right after MC was more NTNP)

3. Rants/raves: this weekend was rough for me.  Up until about Friday I was starting to think that I was doing better. I honestly thought I was through the worst of it and coping. Then over this weekend I felt as though I had regressed almost back to square one out of no where. I'm not sure if it's because it's getting close to when we would have announced. We have holidays in 1 week and we're planning on visiting DH's parents on the way back and telling them. Or maybe it had to do with finally having had my first AF since my MC which means that we can really start trying again and as much as I want to be KU again I can't help but be terrified of another MC or something else going wrong. It's probably some of both and who knows what else, but suddenly I'm back to feeling like I could break down and cry at the slightest provocation and can't focus on anything other than the baby I lost. 

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?

Weekdays I'm all about quick and easy. Usually a shake as I'm on the way to the gym. Weekends we usually go for some variation on bacon and eggs. 

@SoonToBeMommaHowe - I have to say it. WTF is wrong with people. I had some random woman at work, who I don't know, ask me when I was due less than 2 weeks after my MC. I was so caught off guard that all I could do was say I'm not and basically bolt... I know I have some extra weight, and it shows the most in my stomach. But come on, that's a big assumption to make. 

Paisley81515

Arch. TB ate half my post.

@mrsstuessy I'd love to see what the finished product of your tattoo looks like. I've been thinking of something similar myself and have started thinking about designs

@dpjennifer I have to commend you for sharing on social media. Some days I just want to scream to the world about my MC and hate that no one knows, but I just can't bring myself to trust anyone with it. I'm glad that what you shafted was well received.

@chloe97 i can't believe someone would think that email was appropriate.  It's just so self centered of them

rainbowturtles

@SoonToBeMommaHowe omg my DH is 6' too, so I also very rarely wear heels lol He says he doesn't mind but when he wears his big soled boots and I wear flip flops/flats he does comment how he likes it making him taller lol 

Aera11

@BornReady I got my shot on CD14 around 9am so it seemed unlikely I O'd that quickly.  I had two follicles around 18mm... ugh, IF + TTCAL is a nightmare. Thank you for your input!

mrsstuessy

@Paisley81515 Here you go. I love it, personally. 

AliciaGoose

@Paisley81515 I am so sorry for your loss. I had a MC at around the same time as you and was 6+5 when it was confirmed. I had similar anxieties and apprehensions when I got my first AF and was cleared to TTC again. I'm in the middle of that cycle now waiting to ovulate and I still feel them. I don't think they ever go away but I do think they get more manageable, especially when you aren't around a 'milestone' type of moment (like announcing). I had a complete and utter breakdown 4th of July weekend because that's when DH and I would have announced to our families. I barely held it together through DHs family picnic before I lost it on the way home. I was a mess for the rest of the weekend after that. A few days later I got AF and that compounded things. I wish I could tell you it will all get better, but I can't. What I can tell you is that this board has been an amazing place for me, and hopefully will be the same for you. Everyone here is incredibly supportive and insightful. When you're having your worst day you can count on the ladies here to help. Hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon. 

dpjennifer

@rainbowturtles no problem!  Feel free to take it and use it if you want, that’s why I shared it.  J  My sister did an excellent job with it, so it went along with my message very well.  Also, congrats on being off the bench!!!  

@Paisley81515 Yeah I was really nervous about how it would go.  I really, really wanted to announce and bring attention to the stigma and let people know it’s life changing (also to stop people from asking us when we’re going to have babies. Grrrr).  But at the same time, I was very worried about the comments I could get and how it would be received.  But it’s gone well overall, with minimal comment issue, so I’m very glad that I did it.  I feel better having people know.

roper2617

@Paisley81515 I'm sorry that you find yourself here, but welcome. I was an emotional roller coaster for quite a few months after my MMC at 12+5 (baby was 8w). It does get easier to deal with as time goes on but there will be days that are harder than others. Hang in there and I'm glad you reached out. 

fivetimesnoluck

@mrsstuessy I love your tattoo! Welcome. I am sorry for your loss, but glad you found us. xo

@Paisley81515 Welcome. I am sorry for your loss. In my experience, the grief can come and go in waves. Even when you think you're past it, something can trigger you - and that is totally ok. Miscarriage is a life-changing event. I hope you find the support you need here and in the real world! xo

scorpiomer

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new):  I am not new to TB...but I am to this group I have 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and had my first loss in April.  I was 10 weeks when we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat.  I had to have two d&c' s done....they got no products of conception out during the first.  I had to take a large step back from everything for several months because I was just surrounded by pregnancy everywhere.  I am an L&d nurse plus there were 5 friends and family members who were all due within 6 months surrounding when I was due.  I finally am starting to get back into the things that mattered to me...including TB!  Hubby and I are also ready to start trying again.  Sorry so long...but hi!

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): in my tww. ..I think.  I believe I am around 9dpo ...but it was later in my cycle than normal...so not sure what to think.  This is our first cycle trying again.  Technically I am due today for AF and no signs yet...but with my short cycles and late O...and being terrified I haven't tested yet.

3. Rants/raves:  I have had 3 amazing friends that have been my rocks through all of this. I honestly don't know where I would be if they had not been there for me!

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?  Depends...a little of all of the above.  Today I indulged...the boys and I each ate a donut...and I almost ate the one my hubby forgot to take to work...but I was nice and ate a banana instead

Paisley81515

Thank you everyone for the kind words and support. It helps to feel surrounded (if virtually) by people that can really understand.

@mrsstuessy  I love it!

Edited because TB ate half my post again...

laeberge3

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO CD 21

3. Rants/raves: Well, I'm caught in a never-ending period; I've been bleeding for the whole month of July so far.  Going in for a few tests tomorrow and if it doesn't stop, having an ultrasound done to determine what's going on.  This has been a very long month.  Rave: DH and I had a great weekend getaway to St. Louis and have a couple more weekends away in the next two weeks. 

4. GTKY: What is your breakfast style....Quick and Easy? Nothing until lunch? Big or small? Hot or cold? Only on weekends?  For weekdays, I am quick and easy or skip breakfast.  I know how bad that is, so I'm always reminding myself to eat, but it's a difficult habit to break.  For the weekends, I love eggs/toast/hashbrowns.  Yum!

@Paisley81515 Sorry the weekend was tough.  I've been having some tough days/moments here lately, too; it just sucks.  Be good to yourself. 

@dpjennifer I too commend you on sharing on FB.  I have gotten close to doing so, but just haven't been able to pull the trigger.  An acquaintance shared around Mother's Day that she had gone through a loss and she received so much support, which was comforting to read myself as well.  Maybe someday...  

mrsstuessy

@dpjennifer good for you for sharing. I am hoping to share one day as well, but I am waiting for now because I am not ready for other people to know we are trying and if I announced our loss they would obviously guess that we are. You have definitely given me courage for when that day comes though. I am glad the responses were good. I am so nervous about inappropriate comments. My SIL gave me the "at least it happened early" line the 1st time I talked to her about it. Only 4 people know (including DH and I) and I am nervous about having to deal with more comments like that. 

AnonymousMom

I'm not exactly new to the bump (although also not the most prolific poster) but I am new to this board. My husband and I are both physicians juggling medicine, life, and family. We were blessed with a wonderful son in July 2015 and and are now trying to conceive a sibling for him. I had a very early miscarriage in June 2016 and we're now taking another chance and praying for the best.

Status: CD23 12DPO 

GTKY: I definitely need to eat breakfast (I usually run in the mornings so I need to replenish after that). Scrambled eggs with fresh fruit are one of my common quick and easy options. I also do toasted bagels with cream cheese or steel cut oats with nuts. I also love pancakes but rarely have the time to make them in the morning. They're kind of my go to if we go out for breakfast.