FTM here. I had a horrible first trimester as far as hormones, high emotions, and meltdowns go. I thought that would be the worst of it. Here I am at 33 weeks having crazy meltdowns all over again. Last night I went to use the bathroom and noticed a June Bug / May beetle in the shower. For some reason I hate hate hate them like most people hate spiders. I actually like spiders. But in a panic I shut the shower curtain before it could fly anywhere near me. Then I couldn't pee knowing that it was buzzing around in there so I sprayed it with hairspray. I almost never kill bugs, but after that I felt so terrible I thought I had to put it out of its misery. So I picked it up with toilet paper and put it in the toilet because I didn't want to feel the smash. It crawled on top of the toilet paper then over the edge of it into the water. It struggled to swim to the edge of the toilet bowl but kept slipping back into the water every time it was almost able to crawl out. I was horrified and got fresh toilet paper to scoop it back up above water while I figured out what to do. It crawled back off the fresh toilet paper into the middle of the toilet bowl and I quickly flushed it. That poor june bug had such a will to live, I just felt miserable about what I'd done. I stayed in the bathroom sobbing, like bawling, while brushing my teeth and preparing for bed and tried my best to calm down. I got to a point that I wasn't hysterical and went in the living room to get the fresh laundry off the couch. My boyfriend came in and saw that I was visibly upset and said he thought he heard me crying and ask whats wrong. I burst into tears again and couldn't even explain it. I got in the shower to try to calm down and by the time I had finished the shower had almost completely stopped crying. When I got in the bedroom I tried to explain to him what had happened and started crying hard again. He was cracking up laughing at me, which caused me to laugh too which made me cry harder. I was a serious mess. Because I killed a bug.