When will you tell family/friends and the world?

ToBeMMG

We haven't told anyone yet. This is our 3rd baby. Hubby is very eager to tell his mom and sisters but with 8 grandchildren in the family, I feel like his mom is going to be like "OHMYGOD ANOTHER ONE!" (she watches the kids for us at times while we're working). 

I'm also not looking forward to telling my work - who I know will be less than thrilled (not that they can say much). But no one else really does my job when im not here.

With that being said, we are thinking of telling family as soon as we see the heartbeat on u/s (hopefully in the next 2 weeks around 8 weeks)

I would probably put it on facebook for others sooner if it weren't for not really wanting to tell my work (I have friends related to my boss).
I suppose i will have to tell them around 12 weeks.

I feel sad that i don't feel super excited to tell people!!!

We tried for year and had to seek fertility to get this baby. I should be able to be more excited. :O(

MrsNap_515

going through IF makes you so skeptical, so we aren't telling the world until my RE releases me back to my OB, close to end of first tri, but we did tell just our immediate family (DH's parents and brothers - he's 1 of 7 boys, I have 5 SILs)  We told them so that we would have more people praying for us, I will feel more comfortable when I have a few more ultrasounds to confirm everything

Robi1

I prefer to keep my anonymity as long as possible - once people know you're pregnant, they feel entitled to ask inappropriate questions, touch you, etc. Telling later also makes the pregnancy seem shorter for me, and dissuades the people who are constantly asking if you've had the baby or not, since it seems like you've been pregnant forever. 

That said, we would like to wait until second trimester (or later) to tell anyone, but some of our family from out of town is visiting us in late August, so we might tell them in person at that point (only 10 weeks). Not sure yet if we will, but it's a possibility. 

We have never and will not do a Facebook/internet announcement. We tell people individually as we see them or hear from them, or else they just see the big belly and find out that way.  

AverageAsh

We tell friends/family as we see them but won't be fb official until we know the sex. We prefer to do one announcement over little ones to spare some feelings of friends struggling with loss/infertility. 

ngcsugirl1112

We've only told 2 other couples who we're close with.  My brother graduates with his masters degree at the end of the month and my grandparents from Minnesota may come down, so we thought about telling immediate family then (will almost be 8 weeks).  I don't want to tell others until we're out of the first trimester though.

PattersRN

Most people won't know for 12 weeks.  The only people that know now are a couple close friends of ours.  I might tell my mom and sister after my US on Thursday.

KellyT22

Last pregnancy, I didn't announce until about 20 weeks. I didn't really show until much, much later, so it was fine. I kind of liked the privacy of it at work. We did tell parents around 9 weeks last time, and expect to do the same this time.

I haven't really decided when to make it official. Probably around 16 weeks, definitely no sooner than 12 weeks.

direwolfmini

My husband can't keep it to himself, so his parents, sister and her kids, 3 of his friends, and his WHOLE office know already

I wanted to wait until 12 weeks for most everyone, but have told my mom (she's a nurse, and spent many years in labor and delivery), and my best friend who also happens to be my boss. I work at a tech startup, so there is always booze around and he's already been a pretty good smoke screen for me. I'm going to need to come up with some creative reasons why I'm not drinking as time goes on. 

I will probably end up telling the rest of my immediate family around 8 weeks because we're having a huge party for my Grandma's 90th. We're making her a scrapbook and I fully intend on putting a sonogram picture on my page that says "great grandchild coming March 2017". 

librarymom917

Several close friends know and my mom. I'm gonna tell my brothers once I hear the heartbeat,  I'm gonna have card announcements made for my family who live out of state and aren't on facebook, it will be after my appt so I'll probably send the cards out at 8 weeks and they'll probably get them by the time i'm 9 weeks. We're gonna tell DH's family when he gets home from work after my appt, and I'll be almost 9 weeks then too.  After everyone in the family knows we'll announce on facebook.

MTB16

The only person that knows is H and it will stay that way until at least 12 weeks, but more likely 14 weeks or until we can't hide it anymore.  

kiki75

Mostly I'm going with who we will need/count on for support if things go badly and who I won't be able to hide it from for the first trimester.
 
I told H on Saturday and he did just share the news with his very best friend who lives abroad. He's here visiting right now so he wanted to tell him in person. They also had a loss before so we know they'll be understanding.

I am going to tell my two closest friends soon because a) I won't be able to hide it from them and b) they're both currently expecting so they're a great in-person resource and fun to talk baby stuff with and c) they both trusted me enough to tell me first thing.

I'm hoping to hold off on telling my family until at least after the first ultrasound but I know I can count on all of them because my mom and both sisters have gone through losses. I would love to be able to tell them in person but I'm not sure if it's going to work out.

We may tell FIL sooner because we go out with him fairly often so I'll be busted on the beer front and he would be sweet. We're not telling MIL until...probably the point where it would get awkward not to tell her. She means well but she's kind of overbearing.

As for work, unfortunately the cat will probably be out of the bag next week. Long before I would want to share it with work. I'm going on a trip where I'll see some of the people I work closely with and have always gone out for drinks with when we get together. I might give it a try with the excuses and say that I'm just really struggling with jet lag this time but my bet is that they're going to know something is up. I'm just hoping the exhaustion holds off at least until I board the flight home. It was already going to be a long trip (11 dang days). Uffda.

KellyT22

@direwolfmini I find that "I'm on antibiotics and really need to get rid of this ear infection" will buy you at least a month of sobriety

dubcompanion

I've only told those closest to me for now, and DH and I will tell siblings after the 7 week appt. I won't tell other select friends and family until after the 11/12 week appt. FB won't know until second trimester (which will cover basically everyone else we know). Since we're team green, that's basically it for announcements until hopefully the full-term and healthy birth!

ihateusernames*

I've told all of my closest friends and family. With my first two I waited until 12 weeks but I figure, if I would end up telling a person that I miscarried, I might as well tell them that I'm pregnant first. If I miscarried I think I would need a lot of emotional support. That sounds kind of dark, but it's my logic behind the decision. Also, I'm not very good at keeping this a secret. 

So everyone but my fb profile knows. I even told two strangers in the park yesterday  
*edited for spelling- I suck

melidiaz

Only DH knows. We are telling parents after hearing the heartbeat ... We won't tell our 9yr old son just yet, probably  after 1st trimester... 
Fb won't know till we know the sex of the baby (maybe).

Last pregnancy was announced at 7 weeks and unfortunately ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks... It was very hard since people still ask about baby.... So this time around we are keeping it more private.

iceandsnowflakes29

Robi1 said:

I prefer to keep my anonymity as long as possible - once people know you're pregnant, they feel entitled to ask inappropriate questions, touch you, etc. Telling later also makes the pregnancy seem shorter for me, and dissuades the people who are constantly asking if you've had the baby or not, since it seems like you've been pregnant forever. 

That said, we would like to wait until second trimester (or later) to tell anyone, but some of our family from out of town is visiting us in late August, so we might tell them in person at that point (only 10 weeks). Not sure yet if we will, but it's a possibility. 

We have never and will not do a Facebook/internet announcement. We tell people individually as we see them or hear from them, or else they just see the big belly and find out that way.  

I could have wrote this. I plan to dress to hide my bump when (and if) I get to that point. Ideally, I would like to make it to 20 weeks. But, I think if I'm careful I could make it 15. Possibly 18. 

Eta the later you tell the bigger the shock value. I was 18 weeks when I told my work with my first. 

JustAnotherUsername16

Literally the only person who knows so far besides my DH is my best friend @FinallyHisMrs07 (who is also on this board because she is due exactly 2 weeks before I am!!)

(TW) I find myself reluctant to tell anyone since I experienced a loss before. Right now I am set on not telling anyone until second trimester, but we will see if I feel differently later. 

jmacd22

Waiting for as long as possible to tell anyone. I've told my husband of course and one of my best friends. Had a late loss last year and still get questions about the baby. If I could hide it until I actually have the baby I would. I'll tell my job, mom, sister, and sister in law once I start showing. 

Tennis11785

@ihateusernames* - I have the exact same mindset as you.  If you could know about a miscarriage, I should feel comfortable enough to tell you the happy news too.  That's what allowed me to tell my close circle of friends already (the day we saw the heartbeat).  

ShaunaT25

I have such a big mouth and within the hour of me telling my fiance, my mom, sister, and two my closest friends knew. It was no secret we have been trying, and having troubles for six months, so I couldn't hold it back from them. We have also let his mom, dad, and step mom know.

I also accidentally added a snapchat to my story of me saying goodbye to my bottle of gin, which was only meant for two people.... which outed me to one more close friend.

We have just wanted this for what feels like forever, and I wanted to share my excitement with the people who have been in our corner rooting for us.

I worked with 3... yes 3, pregnant women today, all of who struck up conversations asking me about my last pregnancy and if I experienced what they were currently experiencing, and it took everything in me not to blab and tell them I was part of their crew but I'll hold off a while yet on that one.

SandwichLover

@ShaunaT25 I laughed at saying goodbye to gin. I had to say goodbye to wine and it was super sad. 

We told our parents and I've told one of my best friends, but only because we were out to brunch and.. Well, see my comment about wine above. I will tell my other bff after my u/s next week. Not sure about everyone else, probably as I see them and then 10-12 weeks at work. No FB announcements in my future. 

kjd291

Told my immediate family because we were vacationing with them and I was so sick.  Not going to tell other family and close friends till 2nd tri.  Wanting to wait to announce on social media till gender, so around 20weeks. Not feeling like sharing with people that don't see me. 

BigBadWolf12

We live overseas and are visiting our homeland of Canada for only a few more weeks,  so I've already told my bff, will tell my parents and brother sometime between 5 and 6 weeks,  and DH's parents and siblings at the end of July... Around 7 weeks.  No one else,  not even grandparents,  unfortunately. We'll tell them over Skype after we hear the heartbeat and closer to the end of the first trimester. 

Scarlett830

I told a close cousin of mine who knew we were trying, and whom I trust implicitly and know will keep the secret. I also told my best friend at work, as well as my bosses, because my job can be very stressful and strenuous, and I also felt they had the right to knowcseeingvas were short-staffed.

DH told my FIL by mailing him a set of pacifiers with an "order confirmation, delivery estimated March 2017" form. My FIL kept telling us at my BIL's wedding in May that he was putting the order in for another grandchild next year, so we thought it was a cute way to tell him. Of course he didn't get it right away.

We will be telling my family on the 30th, which is the first night of our family vacation. My parents, brothers, sister, nieces, aunt and uncle, and cousin will all be there. We intend to put DS in a Big Brother/Only Child Expiring style shirt and go down to dinner, and just wait for someone to notice.

After that we'll inform everyone else. DH wants to tell his mother before we tell my family, but she's awful and I honestly don't even care enough to plan a special way to tell her. She hasn't gone out of her way to be part of DS' life, and she won't with this baby either, because despite having four children, she will always be her own numero uno.

Edit for spelling

Luckycharm1068

Won't share online for a long time, with others probably not until 10-12 weeks. I'd rather not share at all online but I know someone would put me on my FB and I'm not going to let them steal our thunder. My MIL tells everyone everything so she'll be the last person to know!