Step kids? — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

Step kids?

Im wondering if anyone out there lost their first baby but has stepkids. Maybe it's a stretch, but worth a shot. This has been a really hard weekend- I know it's not really right or fair, but struggling and knowing my husband can't possibly understand what I'm feeling.

It's been 3 weeks since our little girl Hope went to heaven and some moments are already starting to feel better, but I see the kids calling for their dad and know there's no one calling for me and suddenly I feel like I can't breathe.

Re: Step kids?

  • I am very sorry for your loss - it's an awful thing to go through.

    I don't have stepkids but I wanted to let you know that in time it will get easier to deal with.  It will never be better but you start to build some scar tissue on it so that you can live with it.  Your loss is so very fresh - you have a lot of grieving and healing to do.  It won't always feel this way.  Sending you prayers of healing.
  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter Hope. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way. I'd echo the previous poster in that the beginning is so hard, but then you find a new normal and you have more good days than rough ones. Be patient and kind to yourself. 
  • Thanks ladies. I know that in my head but hard to believe it in my heart sometimes! Crazy how 1 second im thinking "wow I seem to be moving forward really well, maybe even too well, maybe I should be grieving more right now" and then the next second something happens or I see something and I'm bawling like crazy and all I want is to go back in time to when I still thought my little girl was going to make it and try to change things so she will. 

    Was there a turning point for either/any of you? Or was it more gradual? I just am so scared to go back to work (doctors office) because I'm afraid I'll start crying in front of patients (especially the pregnant ones... Especially the ones who knew I was pregnant too!) 
  • We named our little one Hope also!! IT does get easier. We are almost 5 months past the day she became an Angel and i think we are doing pretty good.

    I have a great support system of my Husband and my Sister-Friend who I would be lost without. Also i have a great therapist and have found the Yoga helps a lot!! 

    You will be OK and dont be so hard on yourself!! 
  • @Deepoet Looked at the other thread first! You picked a good name :-) 

    This stepkids thing is still not easy for me. There's a monthly support group here and I went and there was a girl there with her husband and she voiced some thoughts about struggles with her stepkids I have been thinking but afraid to share! That was affirming, but hasn't exactly made it easier. I like being with the kids, but there are so many triggers with them. 
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