New baby in family, what are the expectations?

peachy13

Hi everyone, fairly new here and not sure where to post this. DH's brother and his wife had a baby boy in March... who is now a sweet 3 month old who we love very much. DH and I are always busy, hard working during the week and love to make fun plans for the weekend. We just got married and are not trying to start a family at this time. Before baby, we usually saw DH's brother and his wife once a week, usually on the weekend for lunch, or dinner, or drinks, etc. Nothing has changed now that there's a baby... we invite them out to dinner with us (w baby), or stop by their house, or invite them over, etc. every weekend unless one of us is away. But in general, we see the new family once a week.

However, DH's brother just let DH know that we're not visiting enough. His MIL and SIL visit either every day or every other day to come by and watch the baby for a bit. They're golden family members and we're just doing the bare minimum. We've offered a bunch of times to babysit if they want to go out or to let us know if they need anything, so it was surprising to hear that we're in trouble for not visiting enough. I'm upset to hear it because the four of us are close and always on good terms, and I'm the newest to the family (well, besides the little guy) and I strive to be a good sister-in-law and aunt. I think DH's brother and wife think we have all the time in the world because we aren't parents yet and therefore should be visiting and helping out more. Is this a reasonable reaction from DH's brother? Are me and DH being selfish?

KerrysGirl1

They're being selfish not you. I understand them wanting help but they aren't asking they're demanding and that's NOT ok! You and your husband make the time to go over once a week when in reality you don't have too. 
If i were you I would say something to them because if you don't it's going to continue and that's not healthy for the relationships within the family. 

doodleoodle

I think visiting once a week is very often. None of my family visited me that frequently when I had a newborn much less offered to help out that frequently. If they're getting help every day from MIL and SIL then I'm confused as to why they would need more help. Not to mention the fact that you're not obligated to help in any way. They sound like anxious first time parents who don't understand that the world has not stopped spinning. They're being selfish and entitled.