Pregnant after a Loss

My Long Intro, need a place to talk

Hello! I am 26 years old and begining my second pregnancy. The first ended in a loss the night before I would have been 13 weeks. 

My first pregnancy was going well until around 9 weeks when my OB could not hear a heartbeat on doppler. I had chosen not to have an ultrasound and knew many had trouble hearing that early. I had beautiful blood work the week before and felt good so I wasn't worried. The doctor proceeded to tell me that it's "better to miscarry under controlled circumstances vs. uncontrolled" and to "call me when you start bleeding"...I never saw that doctor again. I had a complete and uncomplicated miscarriage in february. I had told all of my family and friends but was glad to have the support since I did not see that coming.

Two weeks ago I had a BFP and am now in my 5th week. I'm praying to be very sick for a very long time. My first appt with my midwife is next week and I'm terrified of decididng whether to do an ultrasound at 8 weeks because I so desperately want to hear a heartbeat but fear that again I won't. 

I've only told my DH, mom, and one close friend. None of them have had this experience so forgive my rambling. I'm so glad to have a place to talk through this strange experience. 

Re: My Long Intro, need a place to talk

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