Awaiting Vasectomy Reversal

flashley-2

Hi everyone,

I am new to the bump. My partner and I have been talking about becoming a bigger family. We don't have any children together. He has two from his previous marriage and I have a son from a previous relationship. He was married for 13 years and due to his ex wife's cheating habits she asked for him to get a vasectomy because she was afraid to get pregnant. Reality was, she wanted nothing to do with him regardless. Now, we are waiting for a consult with a specialist on the 13th of July to see if a vasectomy reversal is going to work for us. He had his vasectomy about 6 years ago. He also had testicular cancer 10 years ago. I have spoke with the specialist via email and he said our chances were about 60%. By the sounds of what I have read (which has been a lot) this seems very promising. I am a worrier so the wait is killing me !! Our specialist does about one reversal per week and has fantastic ratings. We are confident in him !!

Between the initial consult and the surgery, how long did you all have to wait ? Has anyone been given the 60% ? Any advice, experience, success stories would be really helpful right now. 

clover28

FLAshley said:

Hi everyone,

I am new to the bump. My partner and I have been talking about becoming a bigger family. We don't have any children together. He has two from his previous marriage and I have a son from a previous relationship. He was married for 13 years and due to his ex wife's cheating habits she asked for him to get a vasectomy because she was afraid to get pregnant. Reality was, she wanted nothing to do with him regardless. Now, we are waiting for a consult with a specialist on the 13th of July to see if a vasectomy reversal is going to work for us. He had his vasectomy about 6 years ago. He also had testicular cancer 10 years ago. I have spoke with the specialist via email and he said our chances were about 60%. By the sounds of what I have read (which has been a lot) this seems very promising. I am a worrier so the wait is killing me !! Our specialist does about one reversal per week and has fantastic ratings. We are confident in him !!

Between the initial consult and the surgery, how long did you all have to wait ? Has anyone been given the 60% ? Any advice, experience, success stories would be really helpful right now. 







I'm stuck in the box, but I just wanted to QFP.

princesslockness

******Lurker*********
Many of the ladies here have never had a child or been pregnant. Meaning that the odds of one of them having to have their SO have a vasectomy reversal are slim to none. This might get a better response in one of the trimester or parenting boards.


Siggy Warning*************************************

kiki75

^^What she said^^ 
Maybe try the 35+ boards? 

flashley-2

Oops. I'm not sure how to delete this but will try another board. 

LadyMillil

You can't delete posts.

Your doctor would be able to give you an idea of how long you need to wait before you can start trying and how long it could take for good sperm production to begin. Does he have a semen analysis after the reversal to confirm it was a success? If so, and his counts and motility are in the normal ranges, then you would have about a 20% chance of success each month. 

flashley-2

Yes he does have a SA after the reversal. Waiting is the most difficult part. I know no one can predict the future but it has already been an emotional experience and we are just getting started

izza2

1. I don't think a QFP was necessary.
2. Whether someone's been pregnant before or not has nothing to do with whether someone's SO has needed a reversal. Like, literally nothing.


OP - I can't say if anyone here has has a SO who needed a reversal before TTC, so I don't know if you'll get anyone's personal experience on this, but I think at this point unfortunately the only thing you can do is wait and see how the reversal and the SA go to see what your odds really are. How long do you have to wait for the consultation and then the surgery?
In the mean time, you can always do what you can personally control and start preparing yourself and your body for TTC. Take prenatal vitamins, start temping and charting to track your cycles and your ovulation date, and stock up on OPKs (if you plan to use them) and HPTs so you're prepared when the time comes (Wondfos from Amazon are a cheap option, but they're also reliable).

I hope things work out with your H and the reversal, and that you're able to start TTC soon. Good luck!

librarymom917

My DH's former boss had a reversal done about 3 years ago. He had 3 boys, his wife had 1 but they wanted one together so he got a reversal. it took them about a year to get pregnant but he also was gone half the month for work so they may have been missing her ovulation.  like the previous poster said, just get your body ready that's the only thing you can control.

MelissaM090

@izza2 The OP mentioned wanting to delete her post, so apparently a QFP WAS necessary. Does QFP mean something different to you, other than 'Quoted for Posterity because sometimes people who are new to the boards don't know that it's not part of this board's culture to delete posts'?

izza2

MelissaM090 said:

@izza2 The OP mentioned wanting to delete her post, so apparently a QFP WAS necessary. Does QFP mean something different to you, other than 'Quoted for Posterity because sometimes people who are new to the boards don't know that it's not part of this board's culture to delete posts'?

And if the first 2/3 weren't how she shouldn't have posted on this board (because... why? she asked a legitimate question and.... what?), I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have felt like she should delete the post. So, no, when the OP first made this post the first response should not have been a QFP.
QFP is meant for MUD and people who are being dicks. Not people who have legitimate questions. So, IMHO, it wasn't necessary. Neither were two responses telling her to go somewhere else.

flashley-2

This was my first post, as I believe I mentioned above that I was new to the bump. I posted here as I believe what we are doing is trying to get pregnant. I only mentioned deleting my post because of the first two responses I received. I was not intending on offending anyone just wanted to hear some similar experiences from others. 

We aren't sure of the wait time between our consult on the 13th and the surgery. I am really hoping the wait time isn't long. It seems I can't get through a day without using the Internet to search for success stories for positive thoughts. As for preparing my body, I totally agree but I am also hesitant as I don't want to be totally heartbroken if the surgery doesn't work. It's frustrating for me as it is for SO. It's something he never truly wanted to do but now I guess it's something we are dealing with and praying it works. 

izza2

FLAshley said:

This was my first post, as I believe I mentioned above that I was new to the bump. I posted here as I believe what we are doing is trying to get pregnant. I only mentioned deleting my post because of the first two responses I received. I was not intending on offending anyone just wanted to hear some similar experiences from others. 

We aren't sure of the wait time between our consult on the 13th and the surgery. I am really hoping the wait time isn't long. It seems I can't get through a day without using the Internet to search for success stories for positive thoughts. As for preparing my body, I totally agree but I am also hesitant as I don't want to be totally heartbroken if the surgery doesn't work. It's frustrating for me as it is for SO. It's something he never truly wanted to do but now I guess it's something we are dealing with and praying it works. 

You're fine. Your post here is perfectly fine and warranted. As I said - I don't know if anyone here has personal experience with a reversal, but it's never a bad thing to ask just in case, because you never know.


I hope it all works out for you guys! I understand not wanting to start things before knowing if the surgery is even a success. I would hate to get in the 'groove' and then find out it didn't work.
Have you guys discussed the possibility of IVF if the vasectomy reversal doesn't work? I don't know if there are other options aside from that (not that I know of, but I'm not well-versed in reversals and alternatives so don't quote me), but if you both really want a child together it may be another option to consider if this doesn't work.
Hopefully the consultation goes well and he can get the reversal done soon after. I know they can take a while to heal and for sperm levels to get back to "normal", so hopefully it's not delayed any more than necessary.
Good luck!

kiki75

Whoa. I suggested she try 35+ because I don't know of anyone here who has experience with vasectomy reversals. I figured the 35+ groups might have a chance at having had enough time to have kids, think they're done having kids, and go through a reversal. I wasn't be an a-hole or telling her she was unwelcome here. Simply that this group probably doesn't have the answers that she is looking for on that particular topic. I was just trying to help her find those answers. 

flashley-2

Thanks Izza. 

We we haven't gone much beyond the reversal. We are going to request a sperm retrieval at the time of surgery. If the reversal is a fail IVF definitely would be our next step. 

Now to count down to the 13th !!!!

MrsFL2015

izza2 said:

FLAshley said:

This was my first post, as I believe I mentioned above that I was new to the bump. I posted here as I believe what we are doing is trying to get pregnant. I only mentioned deleting my post because of the first two responses I received. I was not intending on offending anyone just wanted to hear some similar experiences from others. 

We aren't sure of the wait time between our consult on the 13th and the surgery. I am really hoping the wait time isn't long. It seems I can't get through a day without using the Internet to search for success stories for positive thoughts. As for preparing my body, I totally agree but I am also hesitant as I don't want to be totally heartbroken if the surgery doesn't work. It's frustrating for me as it is for SO. It's something he never truly wanted to do but now I guess it's something we are dealing with and praying it works. 

You're fine. Your post here is perfectly fine and warranted. As I said - I don't know if anyone here has personal experience with a reversal, but it's never a bad thing to ask just in case, because you never know.

I totally agree that these types of questions are very useful.  I know a majority of us have never been pregnant on here, but let's remember that this board is called, "Trying to Get Pregnant" and not "TTC and Never been Pregnant."  That means we should be more open to questions from people who might have varying situations.   I think this question is fine given that many people decide to have children later in life and/or might have a child from a previous relationship and are now TTC years later.  Their previous experiences can really help some of these ladies that might have these types of questions.    Let's remember we're here to support everyone that is TTC.  Everyone's struggles/situation is equally difficult and important.   I would think going through this process, then hoping it works is equally as frustrating and stressful as worrying about our charts/temps.   

OP, I hope you get some valid answers.  Good Luck! 

clover28

Sorry for the QFP you guys.  Honestly, I read the post until the "vasectomy for the cheating habits" part and jumped to quote it.  It was a jerk move on my part and I do apologize.

flashley-2

Thanks everyone !

It is a very difficult situation. My son is 10 in August and I am 27 next week. I was a teenage Mom and never felt I had the chance to really raise my son. My Mother helped a lot but because I was so young she "over helped". Being so young I missed out on really enjoying the baby years. I was insecure about my pregnant belly, wouldn't have dared tried breastfeeding, and my son wasn't raised in the typical family setting with two loving parents.

This really means the world to us both. Any support I get to make it through with a positive mind is very appreciated !!!!

AliciaGoose

@izza2 I am a little confused about your issue with the QFP. I have to agree with @melissam090. I legitimately feel that QFP is for anyone who might delete. It's not just for people who break the TOU or who are blatantly rude. Very frequently new people who don't get a response they were looking for in their threads (whether those responses are snarky or not) dirty delete because they don't know it isn't acceptable.

I'm sorry you feel she was wrongly sent away, but I disagree that this was handled incorrectly. As a matter of fact no one even said this wasn't an acceptable thing to post here. They just pointed her in a direction they felt might be more likely to lead to a legitimate answer, as @Kiki75 explained. 

We tell people to go elsewhere all the time when they ask questions we don't think are likely to be answered by people on TTGP. No one said you 'shouldn't' have posted this here. They just said you might have better luck in these other places. I don't find anything wrong with that. As a matter of fact I think it was the right advice because I also find it very unlikely that OP will get a lot of responses. It's one thing for people to get nasty and start to over regulate the board. It's another thing for people to genuinely suggest to a poster that they might have better luck in another spot. There was no harm done here by the regulars with their responses. 

flashley-2

I wasn't expecting this.

I joined this board for SUPPORT ! Now instead of getting support on my post everyone is commenting back and forth about everything but. I normally wouldn't say anything - but this is going too far and I am at the point where I would rather be googling things than coming to my post expecting to see someone who is supportive !!

If you read from the first post and below "QFP" was posted before I had even mentioned deleting my post. Also, maybe you could have taken note that I said I was new to the bump so I didn't realize you couldn't or no one does "dirty delete". I simply thought if I were going to get negative feedback or cause conflict that I would remove the post so that it would give others the opportunity to have their posts answered !!! I surely didn't think everyone would be jumping down each other's throats !

Is it possible to just let it go now and if you can't be supportive then maybe just don't bother posting ?

AliciaGoose

@FLAshley QFP would be done before you mentioned deleting your post for fear that you would delete it for the very reason you said, that you were new. 

I appologize that this thread turned into what it did. I promise you that the ladies here are very helpful. And the ladies who pointed you in the direction of different threads did so because they wanted you to find your answer and weren't sure you would get it here. 

I understand that the minor argument that ensued could deter you, and I'm sorry for that. Please be aware that keeping a board like this (with as many active members and new members that there are) organized is difficult as it is up to the regulars to enforce the rules and to help the new people learn them. As the board culture changes the rules change sometimes, or in cases like yours people are confused about how the rules apply. There tends to be some growing pains when trying to decide what is appropriate. Unfortunately it is posts like these where it sometimes happens. 

If you choose to stick around you will find the women here incredibly supportive once you start TTC.

Good luck with everything and I wish you the best. 

Edit: grammar

izza2

AliciaGoose said:

@izza2 I am a little confused about your issue with the QFP. I have to agree with @melissam090. I legitimately feel that QFP is for anyone who might delete. (In that case, then let's QFP every person who is new because they may not know the culture of the board, so they may delete their post for whatever random reason they see fit, even if it's a completely fine post.) It's not just for people who break the TOU or who are blatantly rude. Very frequently new people who don't get a response they were looking for in their threads (whether those responses are snarky or not) dirty delete because they don't know it isn't acceptable.

I'm sorry you feel she was wrongly sent away, but I disagree that this was handled incorrectly. As a matter of fact no one even said this wasn't an acceptable thing to post here.  They just pointed her in a direction they felt might be more likely to lead to a legitimate answer, as @Kiki75 explained. (By saying that people here aren't pregnant and probably haven't been pregnant, so the question belongs somewhere else where people have been pregnant. Obviously OP was made to feel it didn't belong because she wanted to delete, no?)

We tell people to go elsewhere all the time when they ask questions we don't think are likely to be answered by people on TTGP (Except, when we tell them to check somewhere else just because they would get better answers somewhere else, we - at least we used to, when I felt more comfortable being a regular - we just say "I think your question better belongs -here-.", and not "no one here has ever been pregnant, so this does not apply to this board". The former leaves it open for them to leave the question up and ask elsewhere to get responses on multiple boards with different users; the latter just says to go elsewhere.) . No one said you 'shouldn't' have posted this here. They just said you might have better luck in these other places. I don't find anything wrong with that. As a matter of fact I think it was the right advice because I also find it very unlikely that OP will get a lot of responses. It's one thing for people to get nasty and start to over regulate the board (Unrelated to this post, but, since it was brought up: Like telling users to only post their questions in WTO or TWW because posting a new thread for any question is "clutter", when we still have Tuesday's daily posts on the board, four days later? Despite the fact that people have said numerous times that they make a thread for a question because they posted in the dailies and it was overlooked, or that they thought it would be because everything is banned to those two posts?). It's another thing for people to genuinely suggest to a poster that they might have better luck in another spot. There was no harm done here by the regulars with their responses. 

Long story short, I felt the QFP was not warranted, because when I was first starting and up until "new regs" changed things, it was used for new members whose posts were obviously MUD or were suspicious, and for members that were being - as I said - dicks. Not for every person who starts a thread ever because they may not know the culture of the board and know that DDs are frowned upon. @clover28 even apologized and admitted she read the first part and jumped to QFP, obviously thinking it was headed for MUD territory. Not because the OP doesn't know not to DD.

I felt it wasn't warranted, and I pointed that out. Flame me, shame me, what have you, I don't care. But when I see a new poster obviously feeling like they don't belong in TTGP when they're obviously TTGP or planning to in the near future, then I'm going to speak up. If I read a post as pushing someone away from TTGP and telling them to go to a different board - then I'm sure others have and did as well. Maybe I would have taken it differently if it were worded differently and certain unnecessary parts were omitted - but that's not how I read it or how I took it, so I spoke up. Whether that's going to get me more back-lash or not.

izza2

@FLAshley - I sincerely apologize that your post was derailed and has caused an argument. I have said my piece and will respectfully bow out of this thread as I have nothing useful to offer in relation to your actual thread topic. I do hope that your husband's consultation goes well, and that you don't have to wait much longer to start TTGP again.

MrsFL2015

(Unrelated to this post, but, since it was brought up: Like telling users to only post their questions in WTO or TWW because posting a new thread for any question is "clutter", when we still have Tuesday's daily posts on the board, four days later? Despite the fact that people have said numerous times that they make a thread for a question because they posted in the dailies and it was overlooked, or that they thought it would be because everything is banned to those two posts?). 

This!!!!!  I got a mild flaming this week for posting about OPKs because I had asked in the WTO and didn't get any replies.  As much as I agree these types of post CAN clutter up the board, I think keeping a new, open discussion about them promotes conversation and sharing of personal experiences.  I understand that recommendations for OPKs, vitamins, HPTs and other "common" questions are suggested in the Newbie Threads; however, does that promote open discussions about the topic?  No, it doesn't.    We come to these boards because we have questions about these things.   We want to hear others share their experiences.  If we wanted recommendations, then we can Google the information or read one of the articles features on the website.  But, we come here to discuss!  We can't discuss if we don't have open and active questions.   I love the fun questions and random discussions we have in the WTO and TWW, but important ideas/questions/comments/concerns easily get lost in a thread of 60+ replies.   No one really has the time to skim through 60+ posts hoping at least one person answered their question. 

Everycol0r

Sorry OP, I won't be answering your question because I have legit no idea, and we are TTCAS.

But on the topic of appropriate vs inappropriate posts.. If EVERYTHING get posted in those blasted TWW/WTO... Lots of great information is going to get lost in the mix.

I miss the "clogged up" TTGP board. And it never really was that clogged up anyways. 

And really, QFP is mostly for rule breakers IMO.

AliciaGoose

@izza2 The reality is we're going to agree to disagree about the way things were handled. Unfortunately this is the Internet, and the way that people interpret written words is going to vary. If you or OP interpret the comments as something meant to exclude her from the board, I unfortunately can't change that and neither can the original posters of the comments beyond what they already tried to do. I have no problem with her posting in multiple places and that's what I took the advice posted by PPs to mean - that she should expand her post to other boards where she might be more likely to get an answer. 

In fairness, I think most new people do get QFP, especially when their first post is their very own thread. We don't know them. We don't know how they're going to react. And dirty deleting is a common occurrence in posts like this. Maybe as a board we should try to be less cautious. But it's hard when the same thing happens repeatedly. 

The reality about the TWW/WTO debate is that there is no good answer of how to handle that. In those threads people used to bold something like "question in r/r/cs" or "chart stalk requested" at the top of their posts to let people know they needed help. And that was suggested to the posters who said they didn't get a response in those threads so they would know for the future. As regulars if that's something we want to happen, we need to lead by example.

The problem with green lighting individual posts from everyone who didn't get an answer in those threads is that the amount of individual posts could start to skyrocket. One thread about OPKs this week when it hasn't been done in a while is ok. But what do we say to a post that pops up about the same thing in two months? How often do we want to rehash the same information that has already been shared in its own individual post by someone who didn't read the newbie guide or get an answer right away?

I don't have answers to all of these questions. And I certainly don't want new people to feel that we are not open to having them here. Or that threads for unique questions like this one don't belong or are not allowed. With new regulars the board culture has obviously changed, and I'm sorry you don't feel as comfortable being one of those regulars anymore. The problem is without having these conversations we can't come to agreements about what is or is not acceptable. 

Everycol0r

AliciaGoose said:

@izza2 The reality is we're going to agree to disagree about the way things were handled. Unfortunately this is the Internet, and the way that people interpret written words is going to vary. If you or OP interpret the comments as something meant to exclude her from the board, I unfortunately can't change that and neither can the original posters of the comments beyond what they already tried to do. I have no problem with her posting in multiple places and that's what I took the advice posted by PPs to mean - that she should expand her post to other boards where she might be more likely to get an answer. 

In fairness, I think most new people do get QFP, especially when their first post is their very own thread. We don't know them. We don't know how they're going to react. And dirty deleting is a common occurrence in posts like this. Maybe as a board we should try to be less cautious. But it's hard when the same thing happens repeatedly. 

The reality about the TWW/WTO debate is that there is no good answer of how to handle that. In those threads people used to bold something like "question in r/r/cs" or "chart stalk requested" at the top of their posts to let people know they needed help. And that was suggested to the posters who said they didn't get a response in those threads so they would know for the future. As regulars if that's something we want to happen, we need to lead by example.

The problem with green lighting individual posts from everyone who didn't get an answer in those threads is that the amount of individual posts could start to skyrocket. One thread about OPKs this week when it hasn't been done in a while is ok. But what do we say to a post that pops up about the same thing in two months? How often do we want to rehash the same information that has already been shared in its own individual post by someone who didn't read the newbie guide or get an answer right away?

I don't have answers to all of these questions. And I certainly don't want new people to feel that we are not open to having them here. Or that threads for unique questions like this one don't belong or are not allowed. With new regulars the board culture has obviously changed, and I'm sorry you don't feel as comfortable being one of those regulars anymore. The problem is without having these conversations we can't come to agreements about what is or is not acceptable. 

You say, "there's a search feature at the bottom of the board that will pull up loads of helpful OPK threads" and getting asked twice in 2 months is not frequent. The reason the BMBs are picky about clogging up boards is they legit get 54 daily threads about boobs hurting/is the cramping normal?!?!!!!! And useful posts that would help people get pushed down and missed. TTGP never had those type of issues.

Everycol0r

And yes, board culture has changed as the former regs departed because of the BG indiscriminate ban hammer so we definitely know we have to respect the change. Which is why you don't see them anymore because they don't fit into the new norm. 

AliciaGoose

@Everycol0r The reality is the new norm can always be changed. I enjoy these discussions because if there are a lot of people who honestly and genuinely have problems with the way things are currently done, then having a real conversation about it is the only way to change that. I came in to the current culture (for the most part) as did many other people who are here. We are hyper organized and it has worked for us. If it no longer works for a lot of the people here now then we do need to talk about it. 

ETA: When I first came in I had some issues with the hyper organization and the way random posts were handled, but the longer I was here the more I understood why the regulars wanted it that way. I saw the frequent posts that were either straight up TOU violations or the posts that were incredibly repetitive and how annoying it could be. I eventually drank the kool-aid for lack of thinking of a better term and jumped on board with the way things were. But that doesn't mean I'm not open to a conversation about things that could change. 

MrsFL2015

@AliciaGoose  I agree that maybe a change is needed.   Is someone willing to create a thread asking for ideas?  I know I have a few, but we have digressed from the OP's topic.  

flashley-2

With the exception of a very few helpful ladies this wasn't a great experience. I will go elsewhere to try and find others whom may be more willing to be civil rather than to make someone feel like sh!t for wanting support. I am sure we are all going through some type of difficulty while trying to get pregnant - maybe I'm not as readily able to due to my circumstances but I don't consider it anything less than that but I also feel as though I have been put in a odd or weird category which has definitely done nothing for my positivity through this difficult time. I'm sorry to say but many of you have proved to be a bit unreasonable and also a bit selfish if I may say so. 

LadyMillil

FLAshley said:

With the exception of a very few helpful ladies this wasn't a great experience. I will go elsewhere to try and find others whom may be more willing to be civil rather than to make someone feel like sh!t for wanting support. I am sure we are all going through some type of difficulty while trying to get pregnant - maybe I'm not as readily able to due to my circumstances but I don't consider it anything less than that but I also feel as though I have been put in a odd or weird category which has definitely done nothing for my positivity through this difficult time. I'm sorry to say but many of you have proved to be a bit unreasonable and also a bit selfish if I may say so. 

I'm sorry you feel that way. This board is currently going through some growing pains but if you stick around you will find it is full of awesome, knowledgeable women. But, a piece of advice, name calling is not tolerated here.

clover28

Please dont name call.  We aren't selfish.  We are a community.... But you wouldn't know that because this is your first day here.  May I suggest you lurk a little bit more?  Maybe read the newbie thread?

Yes, your thread derailed and we are sorry about that, but no one came here to make you feel bad.

Everycol0r

FLAshley said:

With the exception of a very few helpful ladies this wasn't a great experience. I will go elsewhere to try and find others whom may be more willing to be civil rather than to make someone feel like sh!t for wanting support. I am sure we are all going through some type of difficulty while trying to get pregnant - maybe I'm not as readily able to due to my circumstances but I don't consider it anything less than that but I also feel as though I have been put in a odd or weird category which has definitely done nothing for my positivity through this difficult time. I'm sorry to say but many of you have proved to be a bit unreasonable and also a bit selfish if I may say so. 

Dude, seriously. Let it go. Your post spurred a great convo on the board elsewhere, those that commented, myself included, that were off topic apologized.

This is the second time you've come back now to berate folks who are having a conversation that is simply off topic. No one is shaming you. If you want support, you must give it but I think you've gotten some very helpful advice. Especially because a lot of people haven't dealt with this issue.

If I may say so, this journey isn't actually a positive one all the time. Especially for many of the gals here who are TTCAL or TTCAIF. It's not wise to pick a fight in my opinion after everyone has moved on and no one has put you in some nonexistent special category as you claim. 

izza2

Everycol0r said:

FLAshley said:

With the exception of a very few helpful ladies this wasn't a great experience. I will go elsewhere to try and find others whom may be more willing to be civil rather than to make someone feel like sh!t for wanting support. I am sure we are all going through some type of difficulty while trying to get pregnant - maybe I'm not as readily able to due to my circumstances but I don't consider it anything less than that but I also feel as though I have been put in a odd or weird category which has definitely done nothing for my positivity through this difficult time. I'm sorry to say but many of you have proved to be a bit unreasonable and also a bit selfish if I may say so. 

Dude, seriously. Let it go. Your post spurred a great convo on the board elsewhere, those that commented, myself included, that were off topic apologized.

This is the second time you've come back now to berate folks who are having a conversation that is simply off topic. No one is shaming you. If you want support, you must give it but I think you've gotten some very helpful advice. Especially because a lot of people haven't dealt with this issue.

If I may say so, this journey isn't actually a positive one all the time. Especially for many of the gals here who are TTCAL or TTCAIF. It's not wise to pick a fight in my opinion after everyone has moved on and no one has put you in some nonexistent special category as you claim. 

Have to agree with this.
No need for name-calling at all. The post was derailed, but once you pointed it out it was taken elsewhere decently quick, all things considered.

Sugargirl1019

I'm so confused.. people were actually defending you, OP, supporting you. No one was mean or unsupportive at all, and if they were they apologized. Why are you storming off that everyone is rude and making you feel like shit? Why do you feel like shit? A great conversation has been started because of the topic that was brought up. I thought you were gonna be cool, but then you came back and confused me. 

flashley-2

This is a very difficult time. I am living in a blended family, it's never easy. I wanted support but felt as though that wasn't supported. I was told to try my posts elsewhere which I did and people were wondering why I chose their board. All I wanted here was positive vibes to help me through. My SO and I are having a difficult time wondering, thinking about this surgery. It would have been nice to feel welcomed instead I felt as though I was an odd case. 

flashley-2

Maybe I don't understand all the lingo here, maybe I took things too personal. I apologize for that post. Just trying to feel like I'm not weird and that someone can relate. 

clover28

Girl, stick around.  I can promise you that a vasectomy reversal is not the weirdest thing you will hear on this board.

I, for one, stick a thermometer up my hoo-ha every morning at 3am for the sake of TTGP.

ETA:  For real.  Stay here.  Learn the lingo, read the Newbie thread, and stick around.  We're a really nice community...but that's what we are.  A community.  We support those who give support in return.  Join us in our TWW/WTO threads!  We are currently working on revamping the way the board works (go look at our thread about this and give your 2 cents!). 

Everycol0r

FLAshley said:

This is a very difficult time. I am living in a blended family, it's never easy. I wanted support but felt as though that wasn't supported. I was told to try my posts elsewhere which I did and people were wondering why I chose their board. All I wanted here was positive vibes to help me through. My SO and I are having a difficult time wondering, thinking about this surgery. It would have been nice to feel welcomed instead I felt as though I was an odd case. 

You need to lurk more and understand the tone of the board. There is bluntness and snark, but there is also understanding. That doesn't mean you are not welcome or being supported. These fabulous ladies are not sunshine and rainbows, they call it like they see it with honesty and without sugar coating or coddling. And the fact that you didn't get a huge flaming from your name calling is astounding and something you should appreciate, to be perfectly honest. That's a rarity. 

Like I said, you need to give support before simply expecting it. These ladies help everyone as much as they can, it would be nice if others offered them the same courtesy. 

LadyMillil

FLAshley said:

This is a very difficult time. I am living in a blended family, it's never easy. I wanted support but felt as though that wasn't supported. I was told to try my posts elsewhere which I did and people were wondering why I chose their board. All I wanted here was positive vibes to help me through. My SO and I are having a difficult time wondering, thinking about this surgery. It would have been nice to feel welcomed instead I felt as though I was an odd case. 

You need to give support to get support. Stick around and participate in other threads and you will find a lot of very supportive women here.
Your situation is unusual here, but there are women here in lots of different situations - undergoing fertility treatments, benched from TTC for medical or life reasons, using charting to try to avoid, blended families, trying for a sibling, TTC after loss(es) etc. 
The "you don't know how hard my life is" tone in your post is not going to go over well here. We all have difficult stuff in our lives, and have challenges in TTC. Women here are dealing with infertility, miscarriage(s) and other challenges. I'm dealing with male and female factor infertility and the wondering if I will ever have a child sucks. All you can do is take it one step at a time.