Baby Insomniacs

balamama

This thread is for those of us with babies that don't sleep through the night/don't sleep long stretches consistently/won't nap. 

What are the biggest issues/roadblocks to baby sleeping? What are you doing to help baby get more sleep? What are you doing to get more sleep yourself (enlisting help, taking shifts with your partner, etc.)? What are you planning to try next? 

Tell your stories and hopefully we can generate some new ideas or at least commiserate with each other! 

balamama

At first I thought my LO was a decent sleeper. He slept 3-4 hour stretches at the beginning of the night pretty early on (at ~2-4 weeks) and then would wake up closer to every two hours thereafter and napped during the day. Starting around week 5 he seemed to become much more alert and was taking in his surroundings and basically I felt like he was constantly stimulated and he just stopped napping altogether. No joke he will not sleep during the day unless I'm wearing him and even then I barely can get him to sleep a half hour at a time. Occasionally I can get him to rest on the boppy or the RNP but again for very short stretches. Then come bedtime he is impossible to put down because he's overtired. It takes hours each night. I feel like I've tried everything but he hates all swaddles, stopped liking his crib, will take a paci and listens to white noise but it doesn't actually get him to sleep. He's not screaming all night, he's pretty good natured until he get super overtired and then he gets really cranky, it's just that he will NOT sleep. And it worries me because he is probably getting between 6-8 hours each day which is half of the recommended amount for his age (7 weeks). 

A couple of days ago I ordered the Dockatot because I've heard great things and i PRAY it helps him feel snuggled up and cozy in the way that a swaddle would if he would tolerate one. 

I'm going somewhat crazy here and I'm really nervous for when I have to go back to work in 5 weeks because I will not be able to function like this. 

dsmith211

I got one good 6 hour stretch out of Corbin and then idk what happened but now he won't nap more than 30 minutes at a time during the day and only short stretches like maybe 2 hours at a time at night. Then he's up all over again at 6 am. The only way I can consistently get him to sleep is on his stomach on me and obviously that doesn't really allow me to sleep.

balamama

dsmith211 said:

I got one good 6 hour stretch out of Corbin and then idk what happened but now he won't nap more than 30 minutes at a time during the day and only short stretches like maybe 2 hours at a time at night. Then he's up all over again at 6 am. The only way I can consistently get him to sleep is on his stomach on me and obviously that doesn't really allow me to sleep.

Yup that's LOs preferred sleeping position too. Is it possible this is all a phase and they'll magically become good sleepers soon? i am so jealous every time I see someone post about how their baby slept through the night. 

kbrands7

@babyfmama I feel for you! DS2 is a good-average sleeper so far, but DS1 was and is a short-spurt sleeper primarily. After a few months of legitimately sleeping through 8pm-7am, the 2yr sleep regression is now kicking my butt and he's up during the night more than the baby. Lately DS1 has been waking at 10, 1:30 or 3:30, and sometimes 5:00 too. Nightmares are screwing him big time lately, so we're working on finding a nightlight and lovey he'll take to, and working on middle of night  soothing/self-soothing so that each wakeup isn't 30min-1hr long. DS2 wakes at 10:30 and 3:30. They're both up at 7...and I'm tired. 

When DS1 was a baby and was waking every 2hrs, or for a few months every 45 min, some of the things I tried that helped to get naptimes on track were:
-- doing a naptime routine of a book, nursing, then rocking while singing.
-- If he was alreadt overstimulated, patting his butt helped and so did making it completely dark.
--Babies also have a great eye-closing reflex when they're getting tired and relaxed that if you run your hand over their face a few times, you can usually get them to close their eyes and keep them closed for a bit.
-- I watched the clock for naptime and was strict about waking time vs sleep time until he got into a good nap routine. Even now when night sleep gets shaky, he takes a solid nap.

Once he took better naps, getting him to sleep at bedtime was much faster. Getting him to stay asleep was/is the main issue. Things that helped...or helped me to survive going back to work with frequent wakeups:
-- Not jumping up immediately for every fuss. Sometimes he wasn't actually awake and I was accidentally waking him up when he was between sleep cycles.
-- Safe bedsharing. He reverse cycled when I went back to work, which meant that he ate more overnight than during the day. Bedsharing probably saved my life during that time because we both got back to sleep immediately after nursing.
-- other standards like white noise (try different sounds. DS1 sleeps best with a rain sound), keeping the room very dark as an infant, keeping the room cooler at bedtime and overnight, having a relaxing no-screens bedtime routine
-- make sure the room environment isn't waking him. We realized after a few months that the furnace/air conditioning would wake DS1 as well as bathroom plumbing noises because his crib shared a wall with them. Moving his bed to the other side of the room worked wonders in getting those 45min stretches to be 2-3hrs instead. 
--Eta try out different sheet textures. DS1 slept much better on chenille sheets and eventually self soothed by rubbing his hand back and forth on them. He now uses a blanket of the same texture. (This was his favorite https://www.amazon.com/American-Baby-Company-Heavenly-Chenille/dp/B00LUJFB0E?th=1&psc=1) 

Once I was off for the summer when he was 14mo, he cut out the reverse cycling business and we gave up on trying to force the crib when not bedsharing and gave him a twin mattress for himself. His sleep dramatically improved for a while after that. I think in most cases, people see sleep getting much easier at night once they come out the other side of the 4mo sleep regression.

dsmith211

babyfmama said:

dsmith211 said:

I got one good 6 hour stretch out of Corbin and then idk what happened but now he won't nap more than 30 minutes at a time during the day and only short stretches like maybe 2 hours at a time at night. Then he's up all over again at 6 am. The only way I can consistently get him to sleep is on his stomach on me and obviously that doesn't really allow me to sleep.

Yup that's LOs preferred sleeping position too. Is it possible this is all a phase and they'll magically become good sleepers soon? i am so jealous every time I see someone post about how their baby slept through the night. 

I really hope so bc between starting him at daycare and going back to work in a month idk how I'll manage.

Bellodomani

I haven't ever had issues with night sleep with my kids at this age (4 months was a different story ), but naps were rough with my son. He definitely went through the phase from like 6 weeks - 4ish months where every single nap was exactly 40 minutes long, unless he was in the pack with me and even sometimes that didn't work. If your baby is doing the predictable short nap thing (most babies either do 20 minutes or 40 minutes), just take comfort in the fact that it IS just a phase. It's a super annoying phase, but it won't be like that forever. From talking to girlfriends it seems like most babies consolidate their naps in the 4-6 month range. They have to learn how to transition from one sleep cycle to the next. Once my son got to the other side of it he became an excellent napper, still naps 2-3 hours a day and he'll be 3 in September. Virginia seems like she's entering this phase now and I just keep reminding myself that it will end eventually!

kbrands7

@dsmith211 when DS1 and I eventually bedshared, which was really just a mat on the floor, when he slept on my chest, we'd get the longest sleep stretches. 

balamama

@kbrands7 these are great tips. I think you're right; making LOs naps a priority should be the goal right now and then hopefully nighttime will get better. Should I be trying to put him down after every two hours of awake time?

kbrands7

@babyfmama I would. Some babies can handle slightly longer awake periods and balance it with longer naps, but most will get overtired and cranky doing that at this age. I like this chart a lot for sleep-times, though they cap awake time for 2-4mo olds shorter than I've seen othe places. I've read elsewhere that 1-2hrs of awake time is okay at that age.
https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/02/average-sleep-charts-by-age.html?m=1

dsmith211

Went for a run earlier and came back, had some milk and now he's been down for a little over an hour... Wouldn't have the crib, but he caved to the Rockaroo and I'll take it. Better than nothing. Longest nap in the past 3 days... Too bad he hits his next wonder weeks leap in about 4 days. I'm sure that will put us right back where we started. Lol.

balamama

@dsmith21 when you put him down for a nap do you do anything special or just set him down and see if he will go to sleep?

missnc77

I always rock mine to sleep. Not a solid deep sleep, but a groggy still semi-opening eyes sleep. She naturally fell into an eat, activity, sleep routine, so I think the play during the day helps. But if I don't catch her sleepy signals in time, she is really hard to put down for a nap. 

We we finally caved last night and let her sleep in her RNP since she naps so well in it. She went back to sleep after her middle of night feed much faster. She's a bit more rested today, so she's less cranky. It made me see the mental leaps she's making. She actually smiled and batted her toy several times today with a closed fist purposely. Wonder Weeks says to adjust based on due date. She was 10 days early, but at 8 weeks today, she's definitely fitting those 2nd leap signs and abilities. I think that's what's going on with her. 

dsmith211

@babyfmama Usually we'll eat, then if it's been enough time since the last nap well kinda just chill with low stimulation. Quiet room, rocking, resting against me. Some things that help with him if that alone isn't working is to also swaddle and give his pacifier. That tends to calm him down, but not always. Especially more recently it takes a little more time and effort.

If I swaddle and he stays in it the whole time he tends to stay down longer, but that's rare. He likes to break out and then he freaks out and wakes up. Same with the pacifier. If I give it to him and he falls asleep and then just slightly wakes up and notices it's fallen out he'll also wake up. Our last resort is always the rockaroo. He loves to sleep in it and even if he's just starting to fall asleep and he's really fighting it, he'll usually pass out in a few mins. Unfortunately our major issue is length of sleep sessions. So really this long sleep stretch is kind of odd right now. Still down 2 hours later... I'm just glad he's finally getting some sleep. Should make for a less cranky baby (and mommy) a little bit later.

Bellodomani

kbrands7 said:

@babyfmama I would. Some babies can handle slightly longer awake periods and balance it with longer naps, but most will get overtired and cranky doing that at this age. I like this chart a lot for sleep-times, though they cap awake time for 2-4mo olds shorter than I've seen othe places. I've read elsewhere that 1-2hrs of awake time is okay at that age.
https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/02/average-sleep-charts-by-age.html?m=1

This chart looks pretty close to what I've experienced so far with both kids. The ones in Ferber and Weissbluth always had waaay longer awake times than my son could tolerate. He was probably 4 months old by the time he could comfortable go more than an hour of awake time. Virginia seems more flexible, but that may just be because I'm way busier now and can't always catch her sleep cues. 

missnc77

Total night sleep 9-12 hours?! My LO didn't get the memo apparently. We tried putting her down at 9:30 last night.  She'd fall asleep and wake up 10 minutes after. She finally stayed asleep when we switched to the RNP at 12am. She woke up at 3:30am then went back down until 7am. So she got about 6-6.5 hours. 

dsmith211

Apparently LO must have known I was talking about his sleeping and wanted to show me up. He ended up taking a 3 hour nap earlier and I was able to put him down an hour and a half ago in his crib. Yay! At least until a day or 2 from now where I'm sure he'll be back to normal.

amberraysofdawn

Least favorite game: Put the Paci Back in the Baby Before She Wakes Up For Real Oh God Too Late Now You're Gonna Have to Rock Her Forever in That One Position She Likes to Fall Asleep in but Really Hurts Your Back Because You're Too Lazy to Set Up the Boppy 

lisa1625

@babyfmama we have the dockatot and its amazing, hope it works out for you too!

dsmith211

In regards to my previous post... I definitely spoke too soon. He's at least been going down in his crib tonight, but literally only for 30 min increments and then up for at least 30-45 mins again. FX for this last time.

balamama

I can't even fight the crib battle I just want him to sleep anywhere. i think he was so exhausted from basically not sleeping Thursday night that he just passed out last night and we stuck him in his crib and got about 3 hours there before he woke up. Then when I tried to get him back in the crib be kept fussing so I moved him to the RNP and got another couple hours before he was up closer to every 1.5 hours. 

nerdymama15

So nights have been okay mostly except this weekend has been abnormal. LO was awake from about 930am til about 10pm bc she fought hard against napping.  There were maybe two ten minute naps. She was super duper fussy. Then during what is usually her second to last bottle before bed, she nodded off. Unfortunately she woke up at 330am and is still awake here at 5 even after the middle of the night bottle. She refuses to lay anywhere else but beside me. You'd think this 11week old was a toddler the way she splays out and takes up so much space on the bed.