UO Thursday 6/30

Steelerfan78

Okay ladies, let's hear 'em!

Steelerfan78

I guess I'll start. I find it irritating when people start a post on FB with "I never post stuff like this, but..." or "I don't usually say things like this, but..." 9 times out of 10 they are the ones who usually post that crap. 

angeltennis3

I can't stand when threads where the op says something the rest of the group strongly disagrees with....and then 10+ people feel the need to make snarky comments after. It's one thing if the op keeps coming back and instigating and people continue to respond....but when one stupid comment is made it's borderline cyber bullying to keep attacking the op by rephrasing the same snark over and over. 

skiingstark

Since we are on FB rants, I am sick of people complaining about having to see political posts on their FB feed because god forbid, we look at something important that impacts our lives instead of just watching kitties playing in water.  Okay that is really funny....

I now warn people that yes I will put political info on my facebook feed and if you do not like just unfriend because as SS teacher I am sick of false information and apathy that I see everywhere. Grr.....

Xstatic3333

My FB UO is when people post potentially embarrassing stories about their children, particular if they are school age. Ummm, you know your kid's classmates are probably better at technology than you and can find that to use against them, right? Everything lives forever on the Internet. 

Gingersnap

angeltennis3 said:

I can't stand when threads where the op says something the rest of the group strongly disagrees with....and then 10+ people feel the need to make snarky comments after. It's one thing if the op keeps coming back and instigating and people continue to respond....but when one stupid comment is made it's borderline cyber bullying to keep attacking the op by rephrasing the same snark over and over. 

Disagree. 
Everyone has their opportunity to respond, I don't see a problem with that. 
I also can't stand when people use the term "cyber bullying" on a forum of grown ass women. 

poofwok

Not sure if it's an UO but I really dig a healthy dose of snark. I typically enjoy the first tri on a bmb. I'm always well entertained. Just saying. 

Gingersnap

concreteangell said:

Not sure if it's an UO but I really dig a healthy dose of snark. I typically enjoy the first tri on a bmb. I'm always well entertained. Just saying. 

Me too. 
Bet you're shocked ;-) 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

I come here for the snark as well. 

My UO is that I don't need to see your pee stick. I'm not saying you can't post it, that's up to you. But I'll believe you're pregnant without you needing to show me. 

poofwok

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said:

I come here for the snark as well. 

My UO is that I don't need to see your pee stick. I'm not saying you can't post it, that's up to you. But I'll believe you're pregnant without you needing to show me. 

That's why I'm glad TB isn't down with that. I've lurked other forums and some folks show off a lot more than pee sticks. I'm scarred for life!!

Gingersnap

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said:

I come here for the snark as well. 

My UO is that I don't need to see your pee stick. I'm not saying you can't post it, that's up to you. But I'll believe you're pregnant without you needing to show me. 

Idk, after the exit post where she wasn't even pregnant maybe it should be required. 

MamaCoffin

All I have to say is


@Gingersnap is my spirit animal. 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

Gingersnap said:

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said:

I come here for the snark as well. 

My UO is that I don't need to see your pee stick. I'm not saying you can't post it, that's up to you. But I'll believe you're pregnant without you needing to show me. 

Idk, after the exit post where she wasn't even pregnant maybe it should be required. 

I almost put a footnote about that. 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

I should ETA mucus plugs, etc. 

Xstatic3333

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said:

I should ETA mucus plugs, etc. 

::Shudder::

Yeah, I couldn't even stalk any other TTC boards without getting an eyeful of CM.  So nauseating.  It was bad enough worrying about my own.  

cantalopes24

I miss the way the old Bump was and the structure of the BMBs actually annoys me more than the old free for all it used to be even though we complained about it back then. I haven't seen it here but I have been pregnant several times recently and some of the other boards someone would post and everyone would be all "OMG YOU CAN'T POST THAT HERE THERE'S A THREAD FOR THAT ALREADY." I'm all about the snark and I like when the boards move fast and there are a lot posts and discussions. 

angeltennis3

Gingersnap said:

angeltennis3 said:

I can't stand when threads where the op says something the rest of the group strongly disagrees with....and then 10+ people feel the need to make snarky comments after. It's one thing if the op keeps coming back and instigating and people continue to respond....but when one stupid comment is made it's borderline cyber bullying to keep attacking the op by rephrasing the same snark over and over. 

Disagree. 
Everyone has their opportunity to respond, I don't see a problem with that. 
I also can't stand when people use the term "cyber bullying" on a forum of grown ass women. 

Agree to disagree. But adults can be cyber bullies too. 

cantalopes24

Also Finding Nemo is a terrible movie and if my kids want to go see Finding Dory I'm making someone else take them.

SweetT

My UO is I can not wait for a Facebook group to start. 
I'm sure a lot of it is user error but I get no bump notifications and just can't stand the formatting on the app. 
With my first pregnancy we started the Facebook group while still in 1st tri and we quickly weeded out the crazies and over 4 years later it's still an active group. 

fourPsinapod

UO: I think we label too many things "bullying" these days. There's a certain thickness of skin that people should have, especially into their adult lives. Not saying that there isn't bullying situations in the world but I think the term is greatly overused. 

SweetT

fourPsinapod said:

UO: I think we label too many things "bullying" these days. There's a certain thickness of skin that people should have, especially into their adult lives. Not saying that there isn't bullying situations in the world but I think the term is greatly overused. 

Yup. When I say something dumb in my house or with family I get a good natured teasing and vice verse.  My husband isn't bullying me, it's just how we do things.
Being disagreed with or getting a snarky response to a ridiculous question is not being bullied. Come on guys. 

varimama

SweetT said:

fourPsinapod said:

UO: I think we label too many things "bullying" these days. There's a certain thickness of skin that people should have, especially into their adult lives. Not saying that there isn't bullying situations in the world but I think the term is greatly overused. 

Yup. When I say something dumb in my house or with family I get a good natured teasing and vice verse.  My husband isn't bullying me, it's just how we do things.
Being disagreed with or getting a snarky response to a ridiculous question is not being bullied. Come on guys. 

We have a saying in my family: If you aren't getting teased it means you aren't loved. That being said it's always done in a loving way and I'm in no way in support of bullying regardless of the age of those involved.

I do think that on forums sometimes people ask questions to get their poor ideas validated and when no one does they get all butt hurt. In those cases I say bring on the snark!

bdesterhouse

I find it insulting to be expected to keep our house clean when my husband lives in it too and does not have the same expectations placed upon him. I don't work a physical job like him, but I'm still tired after work too. Why is it still too much to ask in this day an age for 50/50 cleaning responsibility? 

HeatSparks

My UO? 

Fuck cloth diapering. 

Yeah I said it. 

scottipino

HeatSparks said:

My UO? 

Fuck cloth diapering. 

Yeah I said it. 

Shrugs- to each their own.  I don't do it for financial reasons and enjoy using them. I have reached the point that disposables smell like chemicals if we use them now and I don't like the smell.  BUT they are work and I get that they aren't for everyone.

bdesterhouse

scottipino said:

HeatSparks said:

My UO? 

Fuck cloth diapering. 

Yeah I said it. 

Shrugs- to each their own.  I don't do it for financial reasons and enjoy using them. I have reached the point that disposables smell like chemicals if we use them now and I don't like the smell.  BUT they are work and I get that they aren't for everyone.

How do you do them? Do you send them out to get cleaned, or clean them yourself? Do you save money with them? Do your kids go to daycare with them?

bdesterhouse

bdesterhouse said:

scottipino said:

HeatSparks said:

My UO? 

Fuck cloth diapering. 

Yeah I said it. 

Shrugs- to each their own.  I don't do it for financial reasons and enjoy using them. I have reached the point that disposables smell like chemicals if we use them now and I don't like the smell.  BUT they are work and I get that they aren't for everyone.

How do you do them? Do you send them out to get cleaned, or clean them yourself? Do you save money with them? Do your kids go to daycare with them?

Nvm I see the thread now.

HeatSparks

@scottipino oh definitely to each their own. Mad props to anyone who does. 

Gingersnap

MamaCoffin said:

All I have to say is


@Gingersnap is my spirit animal. 

::::purrs seductively:::: @MamaCoffin

Gingersnap

I did all disposables with DD and thought about cloth for next kid. 
Then I potty trained and couldn't bring myself to wash poop off underwear, so it's probably not for me. 
I threw poop undies straight in the trash.
eta: potty trained my DD, just in case you were wondering  

BumpasaurusRex

fourPsinapod said:

UO: I think we label too many things "bullying" these days. There's a certain thickness of skin that people should have, especially into their adult lives. Not saying that there isn't bullying situations in the world but I think the term is greatly overused. 

I could not love-tit this any more than I already do.

Most people confuse disagreement with what is actual bullying and it takes away from the seriousness of an actual case of bullying.

Not everyone is going to agree and just because someone says something that a) hurts your feelings or b) you don't agree with does NOT mean you are being bullied.

Stop.  Just stop.  

kswiger06

BumpasaurusRex said:

fourPsinapod said:

UO: I think we label too many things "bullying" these days. There's a certain thickness of skin that people should have, especially into their adult lives. Not saying that there isn't bullying situations in the world but I think the term is greatly overused. 

I could not love-tit this any more than I already do.

Most people confuse disagreement with what is actual bullying and it takes away from the seriousness of an actual case of bullying.

Not everyone is going to disagree and just because someone says something that a) hurts your feelings or b) you don't agree with does NOT mean you are being bullied.

Stop.  Just stop.  

I think the bullying topic could almost be it's own discussion, And I Agree That the words being bullied is sometimes overused and distracts from more serious issues but to me a disagreement can easily turn into bullying when those involved develop a lack of respect. Sometimes being snarky or rude pushes the boundaries in my eyes, just because I feel as adults we should be able to have mature conversations without added flavor just for other people's enjoyment. My mother in law tells me often I'm too sensitive, so I'm sure some of you thicker skinned people are saying CUE THE VIOLINS lol

BumpasaurusRex

kswiger06 said:

BumpasaurusRex said:

fourPsinapod said:

UO: I think we label too many things "bullying" these days. There's a certain thickness of skin that people should have, especially into their adult lives. Not saying that there isn't bullying situations in the world but I think the term is greatly overused. 

I could not love-tit this any more than I already do.

Most people confuse disagreement with what is actual bullying and it takes away from the seriousness of an actual case of bullying.

Not everyone is going to disagree and just because someone says something that a) hurts your feelings or b) you don't agree with does NOT mean you are being bullied.

Stop.  Just stop.  

I think the bullying topic could almost be it's own discussion, And I Agree That the words being bullied is sometimes overused and distracts from more serious issues but to me a disagreement can easily turn into bullying when those involved develop a lack of respect. Sometimes being snarky or rude pushes the boundaries in my eyes, just because I feel as adults we should be able to have mature conversations without added flavor just for other people's enjoyment. My mother in law tells me often I'm too sensitive, so I'm sure some of you thicker skinned people are saying CUE THE VIOLINS lol

But here's the thing: arguments happen.  Shit gets said in the heat of the moment.  

I'm not saying it's okay when people are rude but it happens and to escalate an argument where mean things were said to a level that is bullying is, in my opinion, dramatic.

DH and I have both said things that we don't mean when we've fought.  It doesn't mean that I feel he bullied me and I wasn't bullying him.  Of course, none of us can make a blanket statement about various situations because they are all different, which is my point.  

A person can't just cry 'bully' when someone disagrees or makes a snarky comment.

kswiger06

@BumpasaurusRex yes I agree with you each situation is different. It's just easy to get nasty to people you don't actually know, and it's probably easier to be offended or hurt from people you don't actually know, resulting in the false sense of being bullied. But i do think it happens. So far though the conversation regarding bullying to me has been wonderful. I enjoy hearing different views and opinions on where people stand as long as it's civil and mature.

angeltennis3

I knew it would be an UO, so perfect thread for it 

I think a lot of adult, even adult women, will say something with more snark or continue to comment despite several previous comments saying the exact same thing on an online forum because of the safety they have behind a computer/phone/tablet. Many times I think responses to such comments made in person would be vastly different. It's not just TB but every online community - so one could argue it's the norm in this environment. I am not going to pass judgment on someone for doing it, unless they do pass that line into cyber bullying with unnecessarily mean commentary, but I am also not going to add snark just to add snark. 

BumpasaurusRex

@angeltennis3  I agree with you to an extent.  

There was a recent clip where 2 female sportscasters were read Tweets about themselves by men.  It was shameful how awful and downright mean they were and it was obvious that the men reading the Tweets were uncomfortable saying it in front of the women.

Social media does allow for people to get their voices, thoughts, and opinions to a much larger audience.  Some people take this 'platform' to an extreme, where others remain themselves and snark is purely just snark.

I think it's important to be able to decipher the two but it can be especially difficult in an online forum, where the tone can be misinterpreted.  

MonaLisaRalphio

@angeltennis3 in order to call an interaction "bullying," it needs to be unprompted and cause real damage to the bullied party.  A person who feels butt-hurt because someone disagrees with her isn't bullied.  She's just mad.  A person who becomes upset because she's been called out for being wrong isn't bullied.  She's just embarrassed.  A person who feels insulted by another poster's behavior isn't bullied.  She's just offended.

These interactions don't happen in a vacuum.  People are called out and passionately disagreed with and, yes, even insulted based on things they say and do.  An active participant in an online conversation can't be bullied, because she chooses to continue her participation in the discussion.  If you post something on a public forum, you run the risk of invoking dissent among the people who read it.  There's no rule that says that only x number of people are allowed to negatively react to a post - in fact, the number of negative responses to a post doesn't have anything to do with whether those reactions amount to bullying.  If a poster incites negative responses, it's up to her to decide whether to respond to them one by one.  If she doesn't want to do that, fine - that's her prerogative.  But she doesn't get to throw up her hands and claim "bullying" just because she doesn't feel like dealing with the fallout from what she's said.

There have been a lot of disagreements on this BMB (and, yo, I've seen WAY bigger disagreements on other forums here on TB), but I have never once seen anyone get legitimately bullied.

FWIW, while I disagree pretty strongly with you on this topic, I appreciate your willingness to discuss it.  I am probably one of the snarkier people on this BMB (and, yeah, sometimes I add snark just to add snark), but I 100% guarantee you that I would be just this snarky IRL.  Perhaps even snarkier.  IRL has no TOU.  I don't take a lot of crap, but I also don't jump down people's throats for making a mistake - I save my true vitriol for posters who are rude, offensive, or willfully ignorant. And I SUPER appreciate respectful, intelligent discourse.  Thanks for being brave enough to bring up a topic that you knew would inspire passionate discussion, and for being open-minded and thoughtful in your responses.

angeltennis3

@MonaLisaRalphio thanks for your comment. To clarify, I did say I think it can be borderline to bullying. I haven't seen anything cross into the full on bullying on this board. 

I also aso did say it's a different situation when the op continues to come back and further instigate the commentary. 

Since I don't know any of the women on here IRL, it would be unfair for me to judge them for their snark and make assumptions on if they would make the same comment in person as they do online. That ultimately is why I don't let it make me think any differently of someone. 

In all reality, i *think* that i am about 90% in agreement with all of the women who have commented on this thread discussing bullying, it's just a matter of that remaining 10% that's purely a difference in personality and outlook on surroundings. 

It it does make me very happy that everyone can have such an open and mature debate over such a topic and agree to disagree. I like a good UO debate. 

Gingersnap

My boner just grew @MonaLisaRalphio

MonaLisaRalphio

@angeltennis3 yeah girl I like you.

@gingersnap it's getting kind of hot in here...

turtlemobile2

This. I hate The Bump. Yes I know I'm here but that is because I'm in love with mt J15 mommy group and The Bump is where it started. I don't get notifications, I can tell if anyone has responded to anything I say. The format sucks. I'm just biding my time until we jump ship. I know lot are worried about privacy, but no matter where you are on the Internet you are not private. Sorry is just not the way things are anymore. And if you're really concerned don't set your profile on public and after you get into the group unfriend the person that put up in. Easy peasy.