Not sure where I belong now, in a deep dark place right now... — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Not sure where I belong now, in a deep dark place right now...

hi all, I've been to a few different boards on the bump so far, and now this is the only place I think I can relate. (Im sorry In advance if I'm breaking some posting rules, but I just needed to introduce myself first) A little about me- I have a 2.5 year old, we had him naturally, very quick and easy, first try etc. I had him via Emergency C section. Later when he was about 18 months, my DH and I decided it was time for another. We tried for about 9 or 10 months then decided it was time to start looking into what's going on. After a few months of testing we found that I had a pretty large polyp in my Uterus that had to be removed. So we had to wait another 2 or 3 months for that procedure(it felt like we spent more time waiting than TTCing during this time). Finally, had the procedure in April then we had to wait again two cycles to TTC again. Finally, late May we had our second cycle where we could finally give it a go on a clean slate. I started to spot a week and a half later, so I thought, must be my period coming, so I guess it didn't catch this time. We were pretty bumbed, but also thought oh well! At least we have next month! So we tested anyway two weeks after my ovulation time and sure enough, it said positive. We were shocked! Especially since I was still spotting a light brown discharge. After the weekend we found out, I went for our first blood test and they said congrats! Your pregnant! I had another blood test scheduled two days later as protocol with our fertility specialist. So two days later I did the test , that same day, I started to have bright red spotting. I knew that was bad. So I scheduled a third blood test even though the 2nd came out great. Friday morning we did another blood test and that one they said the HCG didn't go up as much as it should have( in other words, didn't double) so we knew that was definitely bad. They scheduled a sonogram for us on Monday to see what's going on so over the weekend we pretty much were an emotional wreck. I've already cried a bunch and so has my DH, even more than me actually. Monday finally came, we were mentally prepared to hear- oh it's gone, you miscarried... Etc. Oh no, this was news you definitely couldn't mentally prepare yourself for- an Ectopic pregnancy :(. Luckily, we found it early enough so I can take the Methotrexate(God willing that does the job quick and I can move on) But unluckly, we now have to wait another 3 months at least for my body to be clear of it. While on this medication, I can't be in the sun, I can't pick up my son or do anything strenuous while on it. I still feel some of the pregnancy symptoms which I feel like is the hardest

Re: Not sure where I belong now, in a deep dark place right now...

  • Wow, I am so sorry! I went through something similar, had he scare of an eptopic but it ended up not being one. I cannot even imGine whAt you're going though. Waiting a day feesl like a month, so waiting 3 months will feel like a year. I've been there too- we hAd to wait 3 months to start with our new doctor- he only thing that helped was keeping myself as occupied as possible. So Try to keep yourself busy-- so much easier said than done. Wishing you the best! So sorry again. 
    Me 30 || DH 36
    Unexplained Infertility- Postive for MTHFR Gene Mutation

    Natural cycles with 1 miscarriage
    -3 IUI's w/ Clomid= BFN 
    -IVF #1-Follistim and Menopur= BFN
    ***11 Eggs, 10 mature, 8 fertilized, transferred 1 (day 5) 2 made it to freeze
    -FET #1- Transferred 2, day 5 embryos =BFN
    -IVF #2- Follistim and Menopur = BFN
    ***11 retrieved, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, transferred 2 (day 3), 4 made it to freeze (Follistim and Menopur) = BFN
    -FET #2- Transferred 2, day 3 embryos = BFN
    **Changed doctor**
    -IUI #4- natural cycle = BFN
    -IUI #5- Follistim (5 eggs) BFP- lead to Miscarriage  :'(
    -Laproscopic Surgery for Endometriosis, Polyp removal and Cyst removal. 
    -IVF #3- Menopur, Follistim, Lupron, Ganirellex- BFP lead to Eptopic Pregnancy  :'(
    ***11 Eggs retrieved, 10 Mature, 8 fertilized, transferred 3 embryos (day 3), 0 made it to freeze
    -Lapropscopic surgery- Removal of Fallopian Tube
    -IVF #4- Estrogen Priming with Vivelle dot, Menopur, Follistim, Ganirellex- BFP  :)
    ***15 Eggs retreived, 11 mature, 11 fertilized, 2 embryos transferred (day 3), 2 made it to freeze
    Found out I was positive for MTHFR Gene Mutation during TWW of IVF #4

  • @mama1614 I am sorry for your loss. I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy and took the methotrexate about a week an a half ago. I was like you and was prepared for a loss but not an ectopic and the fear that goes a long with it. And the three month wait really sucks. It feels like everything has been put on hold. Please be sure to take care of yourself. I felt extremely nauseous for four days after getting the shot. I hope that the meds work well for you. The ladies here are extremely supportive and helpful. 
    mamma1614
  • Loading the player...
  • Thank you. I hope all works well for you too!
    Hopefulmommy1980
  • I am so sorry for your loss. T&P are with you that the meds work well for you without any complications. 
  • mjolkmjolk
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    You are at the right place. I'm sorry for your loss and all the fear and waiting. I did not have an ectopic but I can relate to the bleeding ( I also thought I had had my period and tested later), frequent blood tests, worry, lingering symptoms, and the waiting. I hope
    -----
    TW: Loss
    EDD: 1/14/2017 : Blighted Ovum : D&C @ 10w6d


  • @mamma1614 I am so sorry you had to go through this. I experienced something similar and was freaked out by the chance of a MC being an ectopic instead. Luckily, it wasn't but it's hard to go from being pregnant to miscarrying to the bad news of ectopic....like the MC wasn't painful enough. Hang in there girl! We're all here for you. Sending hugs!
    mamma1614
  • Thank you @Bai-by2016! I hope we all get through this hard time quickly and all have our rainbow babies soon! I just got back my numbers today and they said it only went up to 1100 which isn't too much, and I'm on my 4th day post shot so maybe by Sunday it will start to drop. My mom is at my house helping with everything so I can take it easy like the Dr. Recommended. So thank goodness for that. Doing a bit better every day
    bai-by2019Hopefulmommy1980
  • @mamma1614 I LOVE the term "rainbow baby". I was actually a rainbow baby myself. Hopefully your number will drop quickly and you can move forward. :)
    mamma1614Hopefulmommy1980
  • @mamma1614 Hope you are handling everything ok. I know it's been a few days since you posted, but I wanted to post on this. I am so sorry for your loss. I also had an ectopic pregnancy in January and I know the many emotions that can go along with it. I'm glad to hear you have someone helping you out and please continue taking care of yourself!
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



    bai-by2019
  • Thank you @taggrab all the same to you!
    Taggarab
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards