The hardest part of parenting... — The Bump
September 2015 Moms

The hardest part of parenting...

For you, what's the hardest aspect of parenting? 

Mine is dealing with criticism, passive aggressive comments, and advice from family. Sometimes it causes me a great deal of stress and occasionally I can let it roll off. I'm a perfectionist (working on it!) so outright  critiques are tough to stomach, and then tactfully responding is another challenge. Example A, yesterday after another one of her frequent jabs I told my mother "she was a good grandma but a terror of a mother". Whoops!
CraftyMommy14vibarra27shelbyddJenLovesDesign

Re: The hardest part of parenting...

  • I'm sorry you're going through that. It's tough to be criticized! The toughest part for me is seeing my little one in pain. She just got over a terrible cold and went straight back to hardcore teething (Ugh. I can see a molar poking through now). I HATE seeing her suffer. :'(
    kmcshane0211vibarra27
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  • A couple of weeks ago i would have said the toughest part is the lack of sleep.  But, after dealing with an ear infection, and a few probable allergy breakouts, I can now say without a doubt that lack of sleep is totally doable - seeing my LO in pain is not.  
    kmcshane0211CraftyMommy14vibarra27
  • Oh gosh, the overwhelming hardest part of parenting is I'm always the default parent. I am also a perfectionist(I'm working on it because since nobody is perfect, you are at a constant let down even when you are doing great!) Having a 30 minute window of NOT being the main parent in a 24 hour day is tough. 
    CraftyMommy14
  • Mine is working.  I had much more energy and excitement to be home with my kids on maternity leave.  The kids had a groove, the house was clean and no one felt stressed.  Working full time has set me back so much - I look and feel exhausted all the time, my house is always a disaster, my kids are always late to everything and my general attitude is crappy.  I feel like a bad parent when I'm a good worker, and vice versa.  I wish there could be a work/life balance, but at 35 with 3 kids I haven't found it yet :(
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    vibarra27kmcshane0211
  • I think something youll learn, something I learned was that no matter what i do it will never be good enough for anyone. But if @ the end of the day my kids are happy & healthy i could give 2 fucks what people tell me. You'll get a back bone when LO gets older. I took critism & advice rough too when I had DD because i was 18 when she was born. People were quick to talk about me & criticize me. 

    Hard things for me:

    -seeing my kids in pain &  not being able to do anything.
    -days where i cant give them each enough "mommy time".
    -watching them grow. DD will be 6 in August & starting 1st grade in August. Boys 1 in September. I will be 24 with a 1st grader! My baby is not a baby anymore. Time is passing by, my babys are growing & theres nothing i can do about it. It is nice seeing them learn & grow, its just bitter-sweet.:disappointed::smile:
    kmcshane0211
  • Knowing what the right thing to do is, or not knowing and being okay with that. Mostly relating to sleep at the moment, because I feel like I've tried with such good intentions but ended up doing everything wrong. It's hard knowing I have to break his nursing/sleep association even though I don't want to, because in the end it will be what's best for him. Never mind that it's the easiest and quickest way to get him to sleep, and that I have loved that quiet time with we spend together each day (and night). Now that object permanence has set in he won't sleep longer than 3 hours without waking up to eat and get back to sleep. I think it's time he really learns that he CAN sleep without me. I just have to figure out what is the best way for him to do it, which is hard. I'm sure this will be the first of many times I will feel this way. What a joy is parenthood ;)
    kmcshane0211
  • My biggest struggle is working full time while my husband gets to be a stay at home dad. It wasn't difficult when we both worked full time, but now I struggle with a lot of jealousy. It makes work feel harder, longer, and like I hate my job all of a sudden. Then when I get home I feel exhausted, unlike before when we were both working. 
    kmcshane0211vibarra27
  • Seeing my little guy in pain is definitely tough.  He's taken a few tumbles lately now that he wants to walk so badly.  He's also had his fair share of colds, pink eye, hand foot and mouth, and ear infections.  I am quitting my job in August though, so hopefully he will be sick less once he's out of daycare!

    Also, I am a constant worrier. I can hardly read the news anymore without wanting to cry, so many scary things out there and little babies getting hurt or abused.  It breaks my heart to see those stories and I worry enough about my LO as it is. 
    vibarra27missliz53
  • How very little time I have to myself or to rest. My son is a busy body, he doesn't sit still. Ever. I baby proof as best I can so I have space for him to roam so maybe I can sit for a few minutes while he plays but it's very rare that I get to. If I put him in a playyard or anywhere like that that he 1. Can't get to me and 2. Can't roam freely, he cries and gets really upset. It's very difficult to get things done when he is awake because if I have him in the room with me he's into everything (just trying to fold laundry is a feat) and if I have him somewhere he can't get into everything he's angry. Which means I only get time to relax when he's in bed for the night, which is when I also have to get stuff done around the house. It's exhausting.
    image
  • Been needed so intensely 24/7. I feel like this has gotten harder as she's gotten older. When she was a newborn and slept most of the time, I could watch tv or read or cook with her in her rock n play or snuggled up to me. Now I have to interact with her constantly and be there constantly and I never get a break. Plus they changed my DH's work schedule so he works 10 hrs a day rather than 8 and I'm just mentally exhausted by the time he comes home now. 

    When she's sick or hurt, especially because she can't tell me if something's wrong other than crying so I have to guess. 

    The anxiety knowing I can't protect her from everything, especially with all the horrible things on the news these days. I'm terrified that someone is going to kidnap her, but at the same time, I want her to have the freedom to be independent and explore her world. I'm seriously thinking of buying her one of those pet tracking devices when she gets older. 
    shelbyddvibarra27
  • Knowing they don't feel well and still having to drop them off at daycare and go to work because you have to save your sick days for those fever days..
  • Hardest part has been spreading the mommy to meet the needs of all three kids(10mths, 6, &13) and feeling like I've given them each enough quality time.  Oh and trying to keep up with life.  Between fulltime work,  house duties (laundry, cleaning,  groceries,  cooking), tending to the kids, trying to remember to meet my hubby's needs, etc  it seems never ending.  I'm learning that everything doesn't always have to be done when I want it done, the world won't stop if there are dishes in the sink and we get mighty creative when the cabinets get more and more bare! 
    vibarra27
  • -I feel irresponsible if I leave her even a minute. Each time i got to work I feel conflicted. Tried to go to a movie with hubby couldn't stop worrying. I tried to go out with friends one evening and she was left with my mother and I could not enjoy myself whatsoever.
    -Afraid of her getting hurt or sick.

  • The helpless feeling when they get hurt or sick :(
  • The hardest for me has been letting him do things on his own. Not jumping when he loses balance, because I don't want him to over react when he isn't hurt. I don't want to hover. He needs to figure out things (safely of course). He has had one cold so thankfully I haven't had experience dealing with a sickness. 
    Honestly lately the hardest part is realizing he'd rather explore then cuddle. He won't fall asleep in my arms anymore. It's crib or nothing! I am far from a typical first time mom and am older than most, I think that has a lot to do with my more laid back approach. That's actually been hard, I don't carry sanitizer, I don't ask everyone to wash their hands before picking him up, I don't worry about normal germs and I've gotten some comments and looks. But guess what my baby has had one cold he got from me and the pediatrician agrees he needs to be exposed to germs to build an immune system. The litter box and shoes are the only things that are completely off limits for him to touch. 
    Missed Miscarriage 3/27 D&C 3/29/2012
    vibarra27apilandbooksandcleverness81
  • amp61470 said:
    I don't carry sanitizer, I don't ask everyone to wash their hands before picking him up, I don't worry about normal germs and I've gotten some comments and looks. But guess what my baby has had one cold he got from me and the pediatrician agrees he needs to be exposed to germs to build an immune system. The litter box and shoes are the only things that are completely off limits for him to touch. 
    This is me 100%. People are always shocked this is my first because I'm so not paranoid. And MIL is constantly commenting - "you need to make people wash their hands before holding him" (I trust that my friends and family are generally clean folks, thank you), "don't let the dog lick him" (the dog licks me and I'm not dead yet), "he's too young for finger foods" (not according to the doctor), "how could you let that stranger walk so far away with him" (that's not a stranger, and I can see them just fine from here), "the baby is cold, you need to put him in a blanket" (it's 95 degrees out you crazy crazy lady).

    For me, the hardest was starting school. We were blessed for the first 7 months of his life that family was able to provide care. But a few weeks ago we started daycare full time. I know he loves it. He already doesn't care when I come to pick him up - just keeps playing and playing (as long as he can see me). But I still have this enormous sense of guilt every morning when I drop him off.

    Also, we had to supplement with formula for the first time last week because I was sick and dehydrated and we'd used up every last drop of my freezer stash. Pouring that bottle of formula is the only thing so far that has made me cry. I know there's nothing wrong with formula (I know plenty of formula fed babies - I was one too) but I was super disappointed that I'd made it so far only to need formula at 9 months.

    **TW**
    Me & DH: 32
    Married 2013
    Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
    BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30

    "I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
    amp61470
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