PGAL Weekly Check In 6/27/16

JDMRS

Welcome to the first PGAL check in!

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby?

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? 

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? 

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety?

JDMRS

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby?
I am 33, DH is 34 and we are hoping for our rainbow baby.  We have been together for 10 years in October, married 2, and have been looking forward to starting a family once I was done with law school, and passed the bar.  I got pregnant our second month of trying, and was due 10/21, but at our appointment, I should have been 8w6d, but there was no heartbeat, and the bleeding started pretty soon after that.  I had a D&E on Good Friday, and was given the all clear at the end of April. I got pregnant again the 2nd month of trying (trying not to put too much thought into the similarities). I am due 3/1. I am 4w5d based on my late O.  Baby is a poppy seed right now.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? 
Honestly, I am scared. every time I go to the bathroom, I am terrified there will be blood. But I had a good exchange with another PGAL bumpie, and I am going to try and be excited and happy because trying to protect myself emotionally won't make this better. A loss would be devastating, and if all goes well, I am missing an opportunity to be happy about my rainbow baby. Physically, minimal symptoms- some nausea, heightened sense of smell and nipple soreness. Really, the only super annoying symptoms is needing to pee every 30 minutes. 

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
I am not loving this super hot weather as of late. I am more of a fall/winter person. 

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? 
I am looking forward and dreading my first appointment. I really want to hear a heartbeat.

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety?
Therapy has been a lifesaver. I was in therapy before the loss, and I am so thankful I have a great therapist who is helping me keep my anxiety (both normal and PGAL related) in check. Yoga is also my safe space. I love going to class, and it gives me a full 75 minutes where I don't think about being pregnant at all. 

EnglishTeacherMama

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby?
I'm 28, DH is 32, and our anniversary in a few months will mark 5 years of marriage. We're both from big families who encourage having kids, but we didn't want to rush it, and finally feel "ready" (as ready as one can feel, I think, haha). LMP puts me at about 4w5d along with my little poppy seed baby.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? 
Because we had a loss earlier this year, I am having a lot of anxiety. But because I'm a teacher, I'm also currently on summer vacation, so I'm trying to treat myself to zen-ness by sleeping in, watching movies, taking long slow walks with the dog, and doing lots of breathing exercises throughout the day. Physically, I'm queasy all the time but haven't vomited yet. As long as I have lots of snacks and water, it seems to help (also to avoid dizziness). I have to pee constantly and my poor breasts hurt so badly, though! 

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
I want to hide it, but both of our big families are so needy and nosy! lol. I don't think I'll be able to wait. In July, we're supposed to go on a weekend vacation away with DH's family, I have to chauffeur my mom around a lot, and I have to do the whole mani/pedi, bachelorette party, wedding duties as a bridesmaid for SIL. I'm not sure how I'll do in the fumes of the mani/pedi place, I will have to carefully nurse a virgin drink during the bachelorette party, and... I have no idea how I'll survive the wedding in the sun and in high heels. This should all be interesting.  

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? 
My loss was so early (just before 6 weeks) that I never had an ultrasound meeting of my little one. I am really looking forward to seeing this one and praying to hear a heartbeat! And since twins run rampant in my family, I'm also quite curious to see if it's a singleton growing in there or not. 

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety?
I'm religious, so prayer and meditation are helping. I bought myself a journaling Bible for my birthday in May and have been writing prayers and illustrating little doodles in the margins, and trying to focus my readings on "girl power" stories and encouraging Psalms. What I mentioned above, the breathing exercises and enjoying walks outside with my dog, are also helping to keep me calm. 

EnglishTeacherMama

JDMRS said:

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
I am not loving this super hot weather as of late. I am more of a fall/winter person. 
 

Same here! I'm kind of excited to have the big bump stage be during winter... I'm hoping it will be way easier to feel  "cute" as a giant in sweaters and scarves, rather than a giant during the sweaty summer months. 

GoldenTMama

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby?
DH and I are both 32, this will hopefully be our first child, EDD 3/1. We had 2 MCs in 2015, the first was our longest (only 7 1/2 weeks) and was due 11/3. We had a 3rd MC last month, so we are pretty surprised to be pregnant again so soon, we had just had our first consultation with a RE this month. App says I'm 4W6D, but i'm sure I am less than that since I O'ed later than usual. Baby is a poppyseed. 

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? 
I'm feeling okay, generally. I feel incredibly tired (it's hard to focus at work), a little "blah" feeling (not quite nauseated though), and sore and heavy breasts. Mentally, I'm surviving. I still check the TP for spotting every time I use the bathroom (every 30 mins). I'm letting myself be happy and hopeful because, as of today, I am pregnant, but I'm still incredibly nervous. 

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
Not really a rave or rant, but I'm not sure when I want to start telling people. Maybe I will just tell my sister for now, since we haven't told anyone yet. I think I prefer having a few very important people know, because although my losses have been early I have been glad that the people we love knew about them and so they will always be remembered by us. 

What are everyone else's thoughts on "telling" people early?

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? 
I have my first appointment booked for 7/13. I'm not sure if there will be an ultrasound, but I will get blood tests done. 

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety?
My DH, meditation, and boards like this one. It is awful to have to be a part of this "club," but I truly thank you all for being so supportive to me and each other. 

@JDMRS I knew we shared the EDD of 3/1, but we are also both attorneys! What state do you practice in?

JDMRS

@GoldenTMama I am a staff attorney in Pennsylvania. I mostly draft decisions in family law appeals...nothing like miscarrying and involuntarily terminating parental rights at the same time! Where do you practice?

GoldenTMama

@JDMRS I practice environmental law in California. I am definitely struggling to keep my mind on the petition I am drafting rather than thinking about babies and napping.

PattersRN

1.  I'm 37, DH is 36, married almost one year.  First child.  Been trying since last September.  Had a bunch of work up done and everything was normal....I ended up getting pregnant immediately after my HSG last month, unfortunately lost it at 5 weeks.  Now pregnant again!  I'm 4 weeks 1 day, EDD 3/5/17.  Baby is a poppyseed.

2.  I feel okay.  I'm tired and have been having bad heart palpitations, also some constipation.  Otherwise not bad.  I'm most worried about the fatigue, I work as a nurse so I have to be on my game every day.  Thankfully I work in the office environment, so not as stressful, but still stressful in its own right.

3.  Not much right now.  I just hate the uncertainty I feel every.single.day.  

4.  No appts scheduled yet.  I just want to pass the 5 week mark.  My OB will see me at 8 weeks.

5. Keeping busy at work helps take my mind off it, that's about it....otherwise I just worry constantly. I find it really hard to get excited about this pregnancy.  

dpjennifer

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby? My name is Jennifer.  I had a MMC in October 2015, two weeks before my wedding actually.  I had a d&c for a suspected molar pregnancy, but thankfully it ended up being a standard MMC.  We were benched a cycle and then TTCAL since then.  I am 4 weeks and 6 days according to my chart.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? I’m feeling surprisingly ok.  I’m nervous and worried, but I am trying to make the best of this pregnancy no matter how long it lasts.

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? Just sort of a statement I guess, but I realized that the past few months I’d been dreading my EDD for my first MC, and that this baby was conceived a few days after my first baby should have been born.  I guess I just sorta find some hope in that. 

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? My 7 week appointment is on July 13 and I’m really hoping to just make it there, see a sac and fetal pole, and hopefully see a heartbeat!

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety? I’m trying to remind myself that I have no control over whether this PG will result in a MC or a baby, and that all I can do is the best that I can and to try to relax and appreciate just being pregnant now regardless of the outcome.

@GoldenTMama I’m telling anyone that asks or that I feel like.  Last time I did the ‘right thing’ and waited to tell people and almost no one knew, and although I didn’t want to tell anyone or talk to anyone right after I found out about the MC and need for d&C a week or so later I’d wished EVERYONE had knew because I felt like a shell of a person and became super depressed a few months later and I just wished people knew why I was like that and would just have been able to sympathize and leave me alone, rather than constantly expecting me to be bubbly and asking what was wrong.  So this time I’m trying a different approach and being very open about my previous experience and that this could go the same way or not.  I don’t want to have to hide my grief or feel that I have to fake happiness when I feel like my soul is being torn apart. 

Spartanrd4

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby? DH and I are 32- married 2 years in August and this our second pregnancy, I had a MMC at 9 weeks in March. I had a D&C, benched for two cycles and here I am after my first cycle TTCAL. Hopefully this will be our first child! EDD 3/8, I will be 4 weeks tomorrow. 

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? I am really trying hard to not be scared and nervous- I want to be positive and love this baby throughout the whole pregnancy. Easier said than done but DH is very helpful in calming me down. I told my Mom right away also which I didn't do last time because I need her support now more than ever. 

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? After my miscarriage I found out I had subclinical hypothyroidism. I got started on synthroid and my endo wanted my levels checked now that I'm pregnant. My TSH went from 7.62 in the beginning of May to 1.9!! She wanted me to be below 2 for pregnancy so this is great news  

My OB wanted me to be seen earlier for my first prenatal appointment so I am going to see the nurse and get labs checked at 6 weeks (instead of 8) and then I will see her at 9 weeks (instead of the usual 11/12 weeks). I love my OB and I am so happy that she understands me and my most likely PGAL brain. 

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? I just really want to see a heart beat and see my baby moving around- I never got to see that last time. 

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety? Just trying to be zen and take every day at a time. Still checking for blood every time I go to the bathroom and every twinge/cramp thinking of the worst I hope as time goes on it will get easier. 

irishrose54

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby? 
Hi ladies. Just want to say congrats, and that after reading these posts I feel better knowing I'm not going through this alone. the fear is real.
im from NJ just outside NYC. I love ny but sometimes a girl just needs to step away from the city. I'm 29 and DH is 31. I'm 4 weeks and 1 day, and baby is the size of a poppy seed.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? 
Mentally I feel very scared, and every day I keep expecting bad news. I wish I didn't feel this way but it's hard to keep it in check. 
Physically I feel completely exhausted. Nausea has also kicked in but it's a little reassuring bc I didn't have this with my previous pg which ended around 6 weeks
3. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
Not any at the moment.

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? 
I am really looking forward to hearing a heartbeat. Praying for doubling betas until then. I have been working with an RE so I am going in pretty frequently for bloodwork to check my levels.

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety? 
Meditation!!! My new favorite thing. I started it during the tww with the iui cycle using circle and bloom and I just love it. 

Edited for spelling. Autocorrect is not always correct. 

PattersRN

@Spartanrd4 yep, every time I go to the bathroom I get a little bit of anxiety expecting to see blood or spotting.  It's absolutely nerve wracking

dpjennifer

1.  Tell us about yourself if you're new to the graduate board - or haven't posted your story in a bit and there are a lot of new people... I am Jennifer and I am just joined this board last week.  I had a MMC in October 2015, and was a suspected molar pregnancy so I had to have a d&c.  Thankfully it ended up being a MMC and not molar.  I had the surgery 2 weeks before my wedding, so I got my first post-MC AF during my honeymoon since we waited a few weeks before going on the honeymoon.  We’ve been TTCAL ever since.  I just passed my first pregnancy’s EDD earlier this month and am excited that it seems this baby was maybe conceived around my approximate EDD. 

2. How far along are you? What is your EDD? I am 4 weeks and 6 days.  My EDD is March 1, same as @JDMRS

3. Upcoming tests/milestones/appointments: My first appointment is at 7 weeks on July 13 and I am nervous as can be, but trying to stay optimistic.

4. Rants/Raves: I bought a new car yesterday.  So that was exciting! 

5. GTKY: What is the best meal you have ever had? Oh man, I have no idea.  I’ve had a lot of very good meals.  I guess most recently on the last day of our honeymoon in Australia we had kangaroo lasagna with awesome garlic bread and we splurged for some pepsi’s and it was just fantastic! 

 

ErinSmith125

1. Introduce yourself, how many weeks, and how big is baby? I'm 35 and DH is 36, and we've been married for a year and a half (but been dating for over 6 years).  We started trying in Oct. and after about 6 months finally got pregnant in March but MC in April at 5 weeks.  I thought we missed the window bc of his business travel this month, but got a positive digital HPT yesterday.  I'm right at 4 weeks, according to my LMP, and this will be our first child if all goes well.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? Pretty terrified.  It was so different this time getting the positive test.  Last time I cried and called DH at work and we were so excited.  This time I just kind of stared at it, and I told him later that night.  We're both hopeful, but we've hardly talked about it bc of our fears.  I am afraid to let myself really get excited, at least until I'm past the 5 week mark I think.  I'm super tired, sore boobs, and being a picky eater (which I'm not usually).  

3. Rants/Raves/Questions? We decided not to tell anyone, since we told a few close friends last time and when the MC happened, telling them about that was so awful and hard.  I hate keeping secrets and am bad at it, but this time I want to wait.  Happy to have found this group though, so I can vent to y'all!

4. Next appointment or milestone you are looking forward to? Looking forward to first Dr. Appt. when we will know more and hopefully get some reassurance.

5. GTKY: What's helping most with your PGAL anxiety? Trying not to think about it and busy myself with other things.  I'm a teacher and off for the summer, so I've been sleeping and relaxing a lot!