I started the Ina May book last week and am liking it so far. I skipped over a bunch of the birth stories but may go back to them eventually. Otherwise it's more straightforward than I expected.
@shlecka that's crazy! Is it out of print or something??
@hayhay87 I knew MW care was more the norm in the UK but I didn't realize so few people opt for epidurals! I think part of the difference with going to a birthing center with MWs is they know how to support a natural birth, eg, you can move around, labor in a tub, they don't try to rush the process, etc.
Honestly I think it would be infinitely harder to have an unmedicated labor with an OB in a traditional hospital setting. I know a few people who have given birth recently with OBs and went in saying they'd rather not have an epidural, but didn't realize how difficult it would be to do this. Between being given pitocin, being confined to the bed and not allowed to eat, and the doctors generally promoting the epidural, they all ended up opting for pain relief... So I do think some of it is to do with your care providers and the general setup/protocol where you are.
@ThePax89 for sure! I mean, it's obviously helpful, otherwise it wouldn't have made it this long. I think my inner monologue is just like "How the heck does he *know* the six needs of the laboring women?" But I'm definitely checking into it regardless!
@zdmd_14 thanks for the tips! Definitely going to pick up that book and the ina may one. I'm signed up for a childbirth/ parenting class that everyone recommends here but I'm not sure I can afford a hypno birth course on top of it so I'll def get started with books and podcasts!
Hypnobabies is definitely expensive. If you find your self feeling pretty nervous about the birth you could find one or two tracks on iTunes and download those for cheap. I'd start searching with "positive affirmations" maybe specific to the 3rd tri or to birth. That type of thing what what was the most helpful for me--just being in a positive mind set about it
DD1 (2008) DD2 (2010), #3 (DH's first bio kid) on the way in January 2017! Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
@cjs260 I've always heard that the Bradley method book written by Susan McCracken (er.... I think that's the right name) is way better than the one written by Bradley himself. Give that one a try instead
DD1 (2008) DD2 (2010), #3 (DH's first bio kid) on the way in January 2017! Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
I wonder if Mainstream Mama is out of print. Maybe check out some local used book stores or the library? I think I paid $8 for it so something's up.
ETA: I just looked, I had been following a facebook page the author had going and can't find it so now I'm wondering what happened. Sorry to have recommended a book that is not easy to find.
Would anyone like to share their motivation for going med-free? I feel like I have my personal motivation (below), but I would like to hear others', as well as maybe add reasons that others have that resonate with me.
My main reasoning is endorphins for me and baby. The school of thought is, like a runner's high, at a certain point in labor, an endorphin rush will occur due to pain and muscle exhaustion, which allows for both you and baby to get the benefits from these endorphins. Such benefits include a quicker progression of the transition phase, quicker bonding with baby, quicker "forgetting/fading" of pain of labor, quicker physical recovery, and most important for me, ease of breastfeeding for baby.
I think my motivation is pretty much same as yours, but with the added fact that women have been doing this since the dawn of time with no medication and I just know that I can do it. Plus I don't like the idea of being numb from the waist down for 2 hours.
Agreed with both of these posts. One additional thing is I just hate any medicine/drug/etc. that takes me out of control that I can't undo. Sure, the epidural could wear off if it's a long labor, but once the decision is made there is no turning back. I really want to be able to walk around and try to labor at home for as much as possible. I'm also fully aware that I could change my mind, or might not have a choice, but our mom's moms and their moms did this med free and it's just how it was. I like the idea of doing something my body was created to do (it's why we're here on earth), just like breast feeding or even building immunities. Letting nature take its course.
My motivation from the start (with my first) was that I wanted to participate in my delivery. I couldn't imagine being stuck in a bed for hours not being able to get up and walk around and in my mind, I figured gravity has to help a little right?? Then, I started looking in to it more, doing reading, classes, asking questions, etc. and as I learned of possible side effects of an epidural, the benefit of being able to get up once baby is born, and looking at stats of C-section births for those with epidurals vs natural births I was sold. My labor nurse actually told me that had I had an epidural, I would have ended up with a C-section because I wouldn't have been able to push while squatting (as easily if at all) which is what helped baby progress down. I felt very empowered by being able to feel the contractions and tell my support people that one was coming so I could push and not relying on a monitor.
In my reading and asking questions, I also learned that epidurals effect people differently. In some they wear off (now I think something is placed so it can be continuous) and in others it doesn't work. Or it's works so well they can't feel anything and had to be told when they were having a contraction. I have a family member that had to go home with a catheter after her baby was born and I found in my reading that this can be a side effect of the epidural. It takes a little while for your systems to kick back in to gear. Gall bladder issues shortly after birth are also a side effect I read about and know someone who had to have their gall bladder removed when little one was 6 weeks old because of issues.
Everything I read and learned made me more determined to go med free and I'm thankful I did. One thing that I read along the way that really helped me was that the pain in child birth is different, it's meant to alert your body to get ready for a safe birth (so we aren't all giving birth in grocery stores). Where as pain from a broken bone is to signal something is wrong. This perspective helped me a lot. I also know med free is not not for everyone but if someone is interested I am more than happy to share my experience.
Trigger warning: My motivation is that I miscarried two babies prior to this pregnancy. Both were excruciating, physically and emotionally. I believe that no physical pain could come close to what I went through already. My biggest reason is that I took my fertility for granted prior to my losses, and always believed another pregnancy would just require us to want another baby. Life is precious. Pregnancy is precious. It is a gift. I want to experience all of it, because it may never happen again. I also owe it to the me back in January '16 who couldn't see a rainbow at the end of this storm.
I have a couple of reasons. Something I have read about and have been thinking a lot about is the way that stress can halt labor. There is still something instinctual in humans that all animals have which is the ability to temporarily halt labor when danger is sensed. When an animal stops to give birth and they see a predator they have to be able to stall things so they can run to safety or both them and their offspring will die. And I had read many books (some crunchy some not) that all discuss how women who are stressed out take longer to progress and can even regress dilation. I happen to have two very big fears directly relates to epidurals:
1. Something about my legs being numb really freaks me out - it just feels like it goes against every natural survival instinct to choose to incapacitate my ability to walk
2. I have a huge fear of needing a catheter - no idea why but it seriously freaks me out thinking about it - it just seems so violating and I am not sure why I guess just because it involves genitalia because the idea of an IV doesn't bother me the same way.
So I feel like if I get an epidural my two fears combined would set me up for the intervention cycle - my labor would stall, they would give me pitocin, baby won't like it so I'd get a c section.
The second reason is I have also read about the importance of listening to your body and moving around to get baby into the perfect position for birth so being confined to a bed sounds really unideal - if your baby can't get into the right position you could take longer to push, get more tearing, or need a vacuum or forcep or even c section to deliver.
The third reason is one I don't hear often. I flat out don't want to pay for one. There is always the risk it won't work (I know several people it didn't) but you still have to pay and anasthesia is hella expensive. If there is any chance I can handle the pain I would rather not add the expense. I can get pretty horrific menstrual cramps thanks to something called proctalgia fugax (basically with internal pain your brain can scramble your pain senses so that you feel it somewhere else than where the problem is - like with appendicitis. Well my nerves sometimes get confused between my uterus and my butthole so when I have really bad cramps my butthole will clench shut and then feel like it's literally going to rip open) it doesn't happen all the time but when it does it can actually cause me to pass out. So while I know I have no idea what labor pains are like I do have some experience dealing with pain so I feel like I have a decent pain tolerance.
I am lucky that I live within a mile of the hospital and my husband is a family physician with some OB training so I plan to labor at home as long as possible so I can walk around, squat or whatever else I want and eat (seriously when else would you tell an athlete participating in a 12-24+ long event to not refuel?!) I also have a Doppler so we can check on baby's heart rate every 15 minutes or so to make sure he is tolerating labor well without being constantly hooked up to the monitor.
but it with all that said l loved the way someone ( can't remember who) put it in the birth plan discussion so I have adopted it as my own: my birth plan is to get baby out safe and keep my butthole in tact. And right now I feel like reasons 1 and 2 of my reasons for wanting a natural delivery are the best ways to accomplish that. So if the unexpected happens and the safest thing for baby is to have a x section then by all means cut me open but there is no reason not to try it the way I want to first.
Great points made by everyone above in response to @cjs260's question. I haven't participated in this thread yet because I haven't really started to consider this until recently.
TW - I feel very similar to @thepax89 in that my losses were traumatizing physically and emotionally. I sort of feel like there's not much I can't get through at this point. Also, I have a huge fear of general anesethsia and never had it until I needed an emergency surgery related to my first pregnancy after hemmoraging. I've sort of conquered that fear now because I needed another surgery about 6 months later to remove my uterine septum, but I still hate the idea of medical intervention and being out of control. And while an epidural isn't the same as general anesethsia, I don't like the idea of it. So to me, the idea of an epidural makes me anxious.
Also, hopefully this doesn't come off the wrong way, but I just feel like I can do it??? Perhaps this is super naive and I'll be laughing at myself in January, but I just don't see why it's something I can't get through without drugs.
Truthfully, I need to read up more about this from a lot of angles, but that is my gut reaction and I really love reading all your perspectives
@LoneStar21416 it's funny because it's one of those things where practicing and reading about it may ease the pain, but even with an enormous amount of pain, you are still going to give birth. You can choose to have a natural birth which is pain free (as Hypnobirthing claims) or you can have a natural birth where you scream the whole time. Your opinion is spot on, nothing is going to force you to have pain management.
I have loved everything about this thread. I considered going med free with my first, but never did the proper research or was committed enough. When the time came, I got an epidural, and my labor went really well. I have no regrets about getting one.
This is is my second and potentially last pregnancy because I think we might be complete as a family of 4. Since it might be my last, I'm in a similar position where I want to feel and experience everything that pregnancy and labor have to offer, good and bad! I feel much stronger in this pregnancy as a woman and mom. The first time around I was super nervous about other people's feelings, my husbands, parents, in-laws. This time I've already put my foot down about people in the room with us and how we will wait to have visitors, and a few other things.
I really feel like with the help of my husband and doing the proper research and classes I can do it! I will be reading some of the books you ladies have suggested and hope to go med free with this one!
I don't have 1 specific reason for wanting to go med free, and will echo a lot of what's already been said.
In the back of my mind I have always planned to have unmedicated births. I think a lot of this stems from the fact that I'm the oldest of 6 kids and my mom had all of us at home with a midwife. I wasn't present at any of my siblings' births, but I do have vivid memories of the days most of them were born, including how my mom was before and after the births. So the understanding that birth is a natural process, and that it is possible to give birth without a bunch of interventions, is deeply embedded in my consciousness.
I also tend to avoid medications as much as possible, and to take a more natural/holistic approach to my health. And honestly, the idea of an epidural scares me for lots of reasons - I have no idea how I'll react, the potential side effects if it fails or there are issues with getting it in, the idea of my legs being numb, etc.
Now that I know more and have done some research, I'm further motivated by a desire to avoid that "cascade of interventions." I also want to be able to fully experience labor and birth, and not have to be stuck on my back in bed.
And there is a part of me that figures if my mom could do it, I can do it, so why wouldn't I. This isn't really about proving something, but rather about not trying to reinvent the wheel, if that makes sense.
@ThePax89@LoneStar21416 I'm so sorry for your losses, but also wanted to say your stories are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing!
My thoughts are all very similar to @Carly79. Not wanting to be confined to a bed where I can't change positions and work with my contractions, fear of physical side effects for me, fear of physical side effects for baby, aversion to interventions in the normal birth process. I don't want an epidural to stall my labor and lead me to needing more interventions. I want to avoid pitocin in any way I can because it interrupts the natural production of oxytocin, but it doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier. So, pitocin does the task of oxytocin in triggering contractions, but it limits or altogether eliminates the oxytocin high you get from labor and delivery. I want my natural high and oxytocin-fueled post-delivery love fest!
The most important one for me, though is fear of physical side effects for the baby. I worry that the medication will interfere with breastfeeding or negatively impact his health. My daughter struggled to nurse and didn't gain well for weeks and it tore me apart. I was in a constant state of anxiety and panic over her wellbeing and worrying I wasn't doing enough for her. I had a med-free birth when I delivered her, which I am even more thankful for in retrospect because I would have used selecting the epidural against myself if I had had one...I have learned that eliminating opportunities for me to place blame on myself is really important for my mental wellbeing.
Well I did a birthing class that discussed a variety of birthinh techniques. I was planning to do natural birth but knew it could be a long labor so prepared myself to make decisions at the time. I hung in for 24 hours of labor and then did an epidural. I am glad I did and by morning it was already wearing off and I had to start pushing so I could feel a lot anyways. I felt like slow yoga breathing helped a lot...and during pushing, taking the oxygen they were giving me in the mask. Oh and I did have a doula which was nice and encouraging
Re: Natural Birthing Methods
@shlecka that's crazy! Is it out of print or something??
@hayhay87 I knew MW care was more the norm in the UK but I didn't realize so few people opt for epidurals! I think part of the difference with going to a birthing center with MWs is they know how to support a natural birth, eg, you can move around, labor in a tub, they don't try to rush the process, etc.
Honestly I think it would be infinitely harder to have an unmedicated labor with an OB in a traditional hospital setting. I know a few people who have given birth recently with OBs and went in saying they'd rather not have an epidural, but didn't realize how difficult it would be to do this. Between being given pitocin, being confined to the bed and not allowed to eat, and the doctors generally promoting the epidural, they all ended up opting for pain relief... So I do think some of it is to do with your care providers and the general setup/protocol where you are.
Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
I wonder if Mainstream Mama is out of print. Maybe check out some local used book stores or the library? I think I paid $8 for it so something's up.
ETA: I just looked, I had been following a facebook page the author had going and can't find it so now I'm wondering what happened. Sorry to have recommended a book that is not easy to find.
My main reasoning is endorphins for me and baby. The school of thought is, like a runner's high, at a certain point in labor, an endorphin rush will occur due to pain and muscle exhaustion, which allows for both you and baby to get the benefits from these endorphins. Such benefits include a quicker progression of the transition phase, quicker bonding with baby, quicker "forgetting/fading" of pain of labor, quicker physical recovery, and most important for me, ease of breastfeeding for baby.
My motivation from the start (with my first) was that I wanted to participate in my delivery. I couldn't imagine being stuck in a bed for hours not being able to get up and walk around and in my mind, I figured gravity has to help a little right?? Then, I started looking in to it more, doing reading, classes, asking questions, etc. and as I learned of possible side effects of an epidural, the benefit of being able to get up once baby is born, and looking at stats of C-section births for those with epidurals vs natural births I was sold. My labor nurse actually told me that had I had an epidural, I would have ended up with a C-section because I wouldn't have been able to push while squatting (as easily if at all) which is what helped baby progress down. I felt very empowered by being able to feel the contractions and tell my support people that one was coming so I could push and not relying on a monitor.
In my reading and asking questions, I also learned that epidurals effect people differently. In some they wear off (now I think something is placed so it can be continuous) and in others it doesn't work. Or it's works so well they can't feel anything and had to be told when they were having a contraction. I have a family member that had to go home with a catheter after her baby was born and I found in my reading that this can be a side effect of the epidural. It takes a little while for your systems to kick back in to gear. Gall bladder issues shortly after birth are also a side effect I read about and know someone who had to have their gall bladder removed when little one was 6 weeks old because of issues.
Everything I read and learned made me more determined to go med free and I'm thankful I did. One thing that I read along the way that really helped me was that the pain in child birth is different, it's meant to alert your body to get ready for a safe birth (so we aren't all giving birth in grocery stores). Where as pain from a broken bone is to signal something is wrong. This perspective helped me a lot. I also know med free is not not for everyone but if someone is interested I am more than happy to share my experience.
My motivation is that I miscarried two babies prior to this pregnancy. Both were excruciating, physically and emotionally. I believe that no physical pain could come close to what I went through already. My biggest reason is that I took my fertility for granted prior to my losses, and always believed another pregnancy would just require us to want another baby. Life is precious. Pregnancy is precious. It is a gift. I want to experience all of it, because it may never happen again. I also owe it to the me back in January '16 who couldn't see a rainbow at the end of this storm.
1. Something about my legs being numb really freaks me out - it just feels like it goes against every natural survival instinct to choose to incapacitate my ability to walk
2. I have a huge fear of needing a catheter - no idea why but it seriously freaks me out thinking about it - it just seems so violating and I am not sure why I guess just because it involves genitalia because the idea of an IV doesn't bother me the same way.
So I feel like if I get an epidural my two fears combined would set me up for the intervention cycle - my labor would stall, they would give me pitocin, baby won't like it so I'd get a c section.
The second reason is I have also read about the importance of listening to your body and moving around to get baby into the perfect position for birth so being confined to a bed sounds really unideal - if your baby can't get into the right position you could take longer to push, get more tearing, or need a vacuum or forcep or even c section to deliver.
The third reason is one I don't hear often. I flat out don't want to pay for one. There is always the risk it won't work (I know several people it didn't) but you still have to pay and anasthesia is hella expensive. If there is any chance I can handle the pain I would rather not add the expense. I can get pretty horrific menstrual cramps thanks to something called proctalgia fugax (basically with internal pain your brain can scramble your pain senses so that you feel it somewhere else than where the problem is - like with appendicitis. Well my nerves sometimes get confused between my uterus and my butthole so when I have really bad cramps my butthole will clench shut and then feel like it's literally going to rip open) it doesn't happen all the time but when it does it can actually cause me to pass out. So while I know I have no idea what labor pains are like I do have some experience dealing with pain so I feel like I have a decent pain tolerance.
I am lucky that I live within a mile of the hospital and my husband is a family physician with some OB training so I plan to labor at home as long as possible so I can walk around, squat or whatever else I want and eat (seriously when else would you tell an athlete participating in a 12-24+ long event to not refuel?!) I also have a Doppler so we can check on baby's heart rate every 15 minutes or so to make sure he is tolerating labor well without being constantly hooked up to the monitor.
but it with all that said l loved the way someone ( can't remember who) put it in the birth plan discussion so I have adopted it as my own: my birth plan is to get baby out safe and keep my butthole in tact. And right now I feel like reasons 1 and 2 of my reasons for wanting a natural delivery are the best ways to accomplish that. So if the unexpected happens and the safest thing for baby is to have a x section then by all means cut me open but there is no reason not to try it the way I want to first.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
TW - I feel very similar to @thepax89 in that my losses were traumatizing physically and emotionally. I sort of feel like there's not much I can't get through at this point. Also, I have a huge fear of general anesethsia and never had it until I needed an emergency surgery related to my first pregnancy after hemmoraging. I've sort of conquered that fear now because I needed another surgery about 6 months later to remove my uterine septum, but I still hate the idea of medical intervention and being out of control. And while an epidural isn't the same as general anesethsia, I don't like the idea of it. So to me, the idea of an epidural makes me anxious.
Also, hopefully this doesn't come off the wrong way, but I just feel like I can do it??? Perhaps this is super naive and I'll be laughing at myself in January, but I just don't see why it's something I can't get through without drugs.
Truthfully, I need to read up more about this from a lot of angles, but that is my gut reaction and I really love reading all your perspectives
This is is my second and potentially last pregnancy because I think we might be complete as a family of 4. Since it might be my last, I'm in a similar position where I want to feel and experience everything that pregnancy and labor have to offer, good and bad! I feel much stronger in this pregnancy as a woman and mom. The first time around I was super nervous about other people's feelings, my husbands, parents, in-laws. This time I've already put my foot down about people in the room with us and how we will wait to have visitors, and a few other things.
I really feel like with the help of my husband and doing the proper research and classes I can do it! I will be reading some of the books you ladies have suggested and hope to go med free with this one!
In the back of my mind I have always planned to have unmedicated births. I think a lot of this stems from the fact that I'm the oldest of 6 kids and my mom had all of us at home with a midwife. I wasn't present at any of my siblings' births, but I do have vivid memories of the days most of them were born, including how my mom was before and after the births. So the understanding that birth is a natural process, and that it is possible to give birth without a bunch of interventions, is deeply embedded in my consciousness.
I also tend to avoid medications as much as possible, and to take a more natural/holistic approach to my health. And honestly, the idea of an epidural scares me for lots of reasons - I have no idea how I'll react, the potential side effects if it fails or there are issues with getting it in, the idea of my legs being numb, etc.
Now that I know more and have done some research, I'm further motivated by a desire to avoid that "cascade of interventions." I also want to be able to fully experience labor and birth, and not have to be stuck on my back in bed.
And there is a part of me that figures if my mom could do it, I can do it, so why wouldn't I. This isn't really about proving something, but rather about not trying to reinvent the wheel, if that makes sense.
@ThePax89 @LoneStar21416 I'm so sorry for your losses, but also wanted to say your stories are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing!
The most important one for me, though is fear of physical side effects for the baby. I worry that the medication will interfere with breastfeeding or negatively impact his health. My daughter struggled to nurse and didn't gain well for weeks and it tore me apart. I was in a constant state of anxiety and panic over her wellbeing and worrying I wasn't doing enough for her. I had a med-free birth when I delivered her, which I am even more thankful for in retrospect because I would have used selecting the epidural against myself if I had had one...I have learned that eliminating opportunities for me to place blame on myself is really important for my mental wellbeing.