Scared of TTC...Am I alone?

Fergiegal

My husband and I have been talking about trying for a third. We have been blessed with two healthy boys so far, but I am now so scared that my third wouldn't be healthy. I was a nervous mess with baby #2 bc he had SUA. Thankfully, the pregnancy continued to be healthy, and baby was born healthy too. But, that anxiety I had my entire pregnancy, that was hell. I told my husband I couldn't deal with that stress ever again. But, now I'm 32 and my second is almost 2, and I have babies on the brain for sure. But, every time I go on social media, I see something about a mom who died during delivery, or babies born with rare chromosomal defects, or babies born with cancer...the list goes on. It terrifies me so much. But, I do think of what life would be with a third baby. I just want a healthy baby, like everyone else. Should I just save myself stress, and stop at my two healthy kids I already have. Or do I take the risk and go for the third. I am so torn. Anyone else going through the same fears?

splashmountain

I can understand why that would be something you're worrying about. I remember being terrified something would go wrong when we were ttc ds, but unfortunately that's one of the hard parts about having babies...things can go wrong.  But, if you truly want another, then you have to decide for yourself if you're willing to take the risk.  If I had stopped because I was afraid, I wouldn't have my wonderful son.  I hope this helps a little and good luck with whatever you decide 

Fergiegal

pumpkin0913 said:

I can understand why that would be something you're worrying about. I remember being terrified something would go wrong when we were ttc ds, but unfortunately that's one of the hard parts about having babies...things can go wrong.  But, if you truly want another, then you have to decide for yourself if you're willing to take the risk.  If I had stopped because I was afraid, I wouldn't have my wonderful son.  I hope this helps a little and good luck with whatever you decide 

Thanks for your response! May I ask how many kids you have? Another thing that's been in the back of my mind is, how incredibly messed up this world is. Do I really want to bring another innocent child into this mess of a world we live in. I feel that things are only going to get worse around the globe. I know that's a whole other topic, but I feel that it's not as easy to decide for another baby, as it was perhaps 5-10 years ago. 

MrsChavis10

I think it is ok and normal to be scared. It means you care. I was scared when we were going to have our third. I remember thinking, we have these amazing boys already. I also had an OB that thought I would need a c -section, which scared me. In the end, I said prayers and took the plunge. I am so glad I did. I couldn't imagine life without our third son. It's not an easy choice either way, but I am wishing you the best of luck, whatever your choice. If you do decide to go for 3, I am wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and amazing baby! 

Nelbetron

I can understand your thoughts... my husband is much older than me, and there are risks associated with that... I guess I try not to dwell on it too much, and it's actually a relief to hear other women worry about this as well... I felt a little like I was making something out of nothing. 

flashley-2

My SO goes for a vasectomy reversal in September. We can't wait for the result but I am truly terrified of everything that goes along with pregnancy. I guess the end result is what you need to focus on. The rest will be forgotten when the baby is born. I was very young when I had my first child. Infact, I was a child. I was just 17 when he was born. Now I feel ready but am also carrying the fears. My thought is when I am pregnant the rest needs to be done !!
Best of luck to you !

Fergiegal

Exactly. All you have to focus on is the end result @FLAshley . And obviously, work on getting really healthy before you TTC. Take your prenatal vitamins, etc. You'll be totally fine.