Mental health check in

ballofmeat

Hey ladies! It has been a few weeks since we have had one of these threads. How is everyone doing? 

jamiesc58

I had a pretty rough weekend and on top of it all, I ended up in L&D due to dehydration. I feel like I eat and drink so much but the nurse said that pregnant women dehydrate much faster. We were out in the sun with the kids a lot Saturday so that explains that. DH and I butted heads about petty stuff for who knows what reason which made for a tense couple of days. This week is panning out to be much better and for that I am super thankful! 

ballofmeat

@jamiesc58 Glad everything turned out to be ok with baby and you. I feel like I drink tons of water too, but I have such a small bladder (even before pregnancy). 

My my week is going better as well except for the extreme exhaustion. I feel like it's the first trimester all over again! 

Duffgurl

@jamiesc58 wow! Glad your ok. 

@midwestbaby I'm right there with you. I can always use a nap.

I'm doing good but I had one of my OB appts yesterday and he mentioned I'm measuring ahead. Not to be alarmed but wants me to get a U/S in 3weeks. Anyone else going through this or has gone through it? 

jamiesc58

@Duffgurl did he happen to mention how far ahead?

JournoGrl23

@Duffgurl I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead as of my last ultrasound at 29 weeks. My doctor wasn't concerned at all though and said it doesn't affect when she'll come at all. So I assumed it was normal to measure ahead or behind by a couple weeks.

I've had a rough few weeks with all that's been happening to DH and I (mentioned it on other threads). DH lost his job in a hotel merger, but thankfully the hotel likes him so much they kept him on in a starter position. But that means I'm back to being the bread winner and since I work for a newspaper that means we're pretty much back at barely able to survive on the money we make level. But we're hoping to move to our hometown in November where we'll be closer to family and will have the opportunity to make more money.

I'm just working on trying to be positive at this point. Last year was a really bad year for us and this year seemed to be making up for it until now. But we both believe things will turn around for our family once we move. Other than that this week has been pretty good so far. People are buying off my registry for the next shower, which will help us out a lot in getting the things we need for LO, and I have a doctors appointment on Friday. Doctors appointments keep me sane! I'm also starting to get really excited about giving birth in the next few weeks and finally meeting my daughter!

Duffgurl

jamiesc58 said:

@Duffgurl did he happen to mention how far ahead?

No he didn't and of course my pregnancy brain didn't think to ask.

Duffgurl

@JournoGrl23 ya my OB didn't seem that alarmed either and he told me not to worry but I think anything that could possibly be wrong will worry you. My DH said probably just off by a week or two and not to worry but we shall see. 

Also so sorry to hear about the rough road you are on. I really hope things smooth out for you and your family soon. 

haboobjob

@jamiesc58 I had a similar situation occur following MDW. Dehydration sucks! 

@JournoGrl23 I hope everything works out and you can move closer to your family soon. Your job sounds terrible and I'm still annoyed with the whole jerk reader/your bosses not doing anything about it. 

Things have been super overwhelming this week. My sprinkle is this weekend and I'm super excited about celebrating with all my friends/family but I just found out my mom will be attending. We have been fighting for a year and haven't spoken since April. To control my anxiety about her visit, I sent her an email trying to set some healthy boundaries but it resulted in a somewhat nasty response from her. Now she's trying to turn it against me and make it look like I'm wanting to uninvite her so she looks like the victim, which is not my intention. Sometimes I find it hard to do the right thing and the RIGHT thing. 

It's not all negative news this week, I received my test results from my 3-hr glucose test and I passed! I was so relieved as I had a 181 on the 1 hr and most people fail the second with a score that high. *Focus on the positives*

JournoGrl23

@Duffgurl I worry about everything too whether it turns out to be an issue or not, so I completely understand! I never really thought measuring ahead was a bad thing. But recently I've started worrying just because she's getting so big and is severely running out of room because I'm pretty short. And thank you!

@justaudrey Thank you! And I'm still annoyed by that whole situation too. I plan to bring it up in my exit interview because I wasn't happy with the way they handled that at all. But thankfully he hasn't emailed me in a couple weeks so I think it's over. Also, congratulations on passing your 3-hour glucose test!

Jaspertheyoungturnip

Any little thing seems to stress me out anymore. Baby is healthy and doing well, but I've been extremely anxious over several things, and I know it can be bad for the baby if mom is in distress. My fiancé's job was on the rocks a couple weeks ago. He didn't go in to work for a week and a half because his boss kept calling off, saying he had a family thing to deal with (he worked as a landscaper, and he was his boss' only employee). He technically had an hourly wage, but for the last couple paychecks, his boss decided to just give him 35 hours on his paycheck a week, even when they got rained out and didn't work some days, so he was making a consistent amount. He started calling work about 4 weeks ago, and at first, we assumed it was just for a few days and if they still got their week's workload done, his boss would honor the 35 hours. He was supposed to get paid on the Friday in the middle of this period, but his boss was being really hard to get a hold of, and since they weren't going in to work, he couldn't get his check. Fast forward a week and a half, and his boss is telling him he sold his landscaping buisness. He still hasn't gotten his paycheck from more than a week ago, and we were struggling. Luckily enough, my fiance was part of the business deal, and didn't come out of the scenario jobless. The day after his boss finally told him what was going on, a Friday, he started working for his new boss. Around the same hours and same wage, but he had more coworkers because the business was larger. Unfortunately, his first day was their payday, so we had two weeks before he'd recieved a paycheck there, on top of the fact that he still didn't get his paycheck from his old boss for another two days - and when he did get it, it was less than a third of what we were expecting! We had bills set to be paid at certain times based on his paychecks, and it really set us behind, so this paycheck is going to be extremely tight, and will probably effect the paycheck after as well. At 33 weeks, anything can happen, and not having money isn't an option! It was terrible timing, and when I sat down to budget and make a schedule to get the house deep cleaned, I felt like I was going to vomit. She could reasonably come at any time at this point, and there's so much that needs to be taken care of first. 

ballofmeat

@JournoGrl23 hang in there mama! Just think, November will be here before we know it! 

@justaudrey Who the heck invited your mom??

haboobjob

@midwestbaby I can blame myself for that one. I had originally extended the invitation before we stopped speaking as I hoped things would improve. I have a hard time going back on my word and my husband agreed it was the right thing to do to invite her. Truthfully, I thought she might decline but I was wrong. I've always been "the good daughter" and did whatever to make my parents happy so this conflict has me struggling with doing the right thing as a daughter or the right thing for myself. I know I need to start doing right by myself but it's tough. I responded to her nasty email though to straighten things out and her new response was much kinder. I'm just trying to remain positive and it's only a few hours so I will make it. 

@Knottie1442786653 I hope they can get that payment situation sorted out soon and that your husband's new company provides the stability that the old one clearly lacked! Just take a deep breath. Luckily newborns just need basics to thrive: a place to sleep, food, diapers and clothes. The rest will fall into place. Take advantage of friends and family asking if you need help! Yes, please come help me clean up the house. Good luck!! 

Whitmore1027

I figure this is a good place to tell my story. I am 30 weeks 5 days now.

I've been to labor and delivery 3 times in the last 3 weeks. First time was because I got a bug that had me vomiting and diarrhea all night long. I was so dehydrated and couldn't keep ANYTHING down. So, went in to get fluids and nausea meds. A week later (a Sunday), I thought I had a UTI, I was having some pains and small blood in my urine. I was told by on-call doctor to go into L&D. Turned out I didn't have any infection. But I was having contractions. And they caused period like cramps and low back ache. I was having them quite often as they monitored me for a few hours. They wanted me to stay overnight. Fetal Fibronectin test was negative and my cervix was closed and long. They gave me a shot to stop the contractions and I was doing better. I was sent home on temporary week bed rest. I was still having these contractions (which are Irritable Uterine Contractions, different from Braxton Hicks. There is nothing I can do to stop them from triggering and I can't get them to stop when they start.). I went back into L&D the next Sunday because I was having a lot and nothing I would do would stop them. Monitors still showed them, Fetal Fibronectin was negative and cervix was still closed.

During all that, my main doctor had been on vacation, so other doctors in the practice had been helping me. And they were all great.  I saw my doctor the next day and she went ahead and put me on a pill to take every 8 hours to keep my contractions at bay (I still get them, but not nearly as frequent). The main thing is to keep them from causing true preterm labor. I am also on modified bed rest. I also will be going in weekly to get my cervix checked and to get an ultrasound. Best thing though, is baby looks good and he seems happy. Which is most important.

On top of all that, I was laid off this past Tuesday from work. I work in real estate management and our building sold. My company didn't have a place for me. So...now I am unemployed (which is kind of a blessing, due to the bed rest, and these contractions), but I am stressed about insurance. I may stick with my companies and just pay all the extra since we met our deductible. Or I may try for Medicaid. Still trying to figure that out. Also Figuring out how to deal with getting unemployment when I am on modified bed rest.

So, mentally, I have a LOT to think about, and do and I am trying not to let the stress get to me. I have never been unemployed. I feel a bit lost. But I am also trying to use this time to really prepare for baby and do things I normally can't do when I work full time, but also resting as much as I can.

Sorry the post is so long. I tried to make it as short as possible. But any ideas or words of encouragement is highly appreciated!

NBphotogirl

By the time Wednesday/Thursday roll around I am just plain exhausted. Sleep is almost none existent at this point.  Between having to pee and not being comfortable and the charleyhorses, it has been rough. I am on my feet all day and the heat isn't helping my cankles! 
I am 31 weeks today, so on the down hill slide in the hottest time of the year! 

Ya Never Know

Last week we found out that my BIL broke up with his girlfriend of 13 years. It's something that has been a long time coming I think, and we've always offered that if he needed a place to stay while he sorts things out, he could stay with us. The plan is for him to come live with us for a while as of July 1st. He's family, and I want to help him out, but at the same time, I've never lived with anyone but my parents and DH, so I can't honestly say that I'm not a little anxious and nervous. There's so much change about to happen in our home this summer. My 4 year old will be going in to j/k in September, we'll be having the new baby sometime in the next (less than) 8 weeks, and now we will be cramming ourselves in to two rooms of our house to make room for BIL. He is looking for new places to live, so I think his stay will be short, but I'm just nervous about it. I just hope things go smoothly so that I don't sky rocket my blood pressure again like I did the first time (when MIL drove me absolutely mad).

serah496

I am trying to just keep positive. I have just finally gotten my gestational diabetes testing equipment sorted out. My next appointment with MFM for my son's hydronephrosis is a month away. I am measuring 1-2 weeks ahead, though my Dr said it doesn't change my due date since I could give them a specific period date. Then again, she said she would evaluate if I need a C section in Week 39, but is apparently actually going to be gone that week.

ShawnaLynn83

@NBphotogirl EXACTLY what I am feeling.  I am just drained from not sleeping and the charley horses.  I am getting them all over my legs and its so annoying.  One thing I found that helps when I do get them is running hot water on them.  Seems to loosen up the muscles.   I am also 31 weeks today   Not too much longer and the uncomfortableness will all be worth it.

Jaspertheyoungturnip

Hang in there mommas! I think the stress gets a thousand times worse when we aren't sleeping well and have such big events on our minds, like our babies births! Not to be one of those people who thinks saying "just relax" will make it all better, but I imagine just taking some time for ourselves to breathe and care for our bodies and minds will do wonders in these last weeks.

ballofmeat

@Whitmore1027 I'm so sorry you are having a crap last few weeks. I can imagine being on bed rest and laid off all in one swoop is overwhelming. I'm crossing my fingers that you can get some sort of unemployment. I would imagine you could because there may be other jobs out there you could prove you could still work. Can you apply for any short term disability? 

ballofmeat

@justaudrey oh dang! I thought maybe someone else invited her when they knew you weren't on good terms. Well hopefully everything can be smoothed out by the time you see her. It might be a blessing that she's invited and comes. Because who could be mean at their grandchilds celebration? 

Whitmore1027

@midwestbaby Thanks for kind words! I am able to get unemployment. The only thing I am worried about is that I have to apply for 4 jobs a week, and if I get interviews, since I am on bed rest, I am not sure if I am able to. (and in all honesty I don't want to start a new job right now being this far along in the pregnancy and especially since I am having some medical issues). But cutting income this early before baby is stressful. (although! My job DID give about 5 weeks pay as severance. So that really helps!) I don't think I can do short term disability since I am not employed.

kriley602774

This week was rough for me. I work with a surgeon and our Wednesday was booked solid in the operating room plus we had an urgent add in case to do. By 8:30 pm we had only finished 3/5 cases and I was finally getting a chance to grab dinner. Then I found the cafeteria to be closed. Insert hormonal, exhausted, sore and hungry mental breakdown in the locker room here. Needless to say, we ended up cancelling the 5th case and by the time we finished the 4th case I was leaving the hospital at about 1:20 am. It's making me really second guess what the hell Im doing and if this is going to be doable after having a second LO at home. (I will add, nights this late are NOT normal, but it pushed me over the edge).

luckily I was able to leave work an hour early yesterday and then I passed out on the bed with my 21 mo son before 8pm.

eshep5

Duffgurl said:

@jamiesc58 wow! Glad your ok. 

@midwestbaby I'm right there with you. I can always use a nap.

I'm doing good but I had one of my OB appts yesterday and he mentioned I'm measuring ahead. Not to be alarmed but wants me to get a U/S in 3weeks. Anyone else going through this or has gone through it? 

I had similar this week but opposite measuring small... I had an ultrasound that day now having one two weeks later... she also wants to see me in a week after my appointment for a check up... and I'm only 31 weeks baby measured in the 16th percentile she said.

charmedlifex3

Really struggling this week:

The doctor had a firm talk with me yesterday about deciding on a hospital to do surgery *soon* - and to pick based on the quality of the NICU because of the high likelihood delivering at 33 weeks, or 34 weeks may be necessary during the operation.

Sh!t just got real he could be here in like... the next couple of weeks instead of months. I'm not done, I am supposed to have months more of him being IN not OUT.

Added onto this it feels like my body punishes me every time I eat - searing awful pain and contractions. I had a food issue, not *quite* a full blown eating disorder years ago, and this is bringing back a lot of that. At the time I had a severe food allergy which no one knew about, and as a result basically avoided eating out of fear. Add in all the positive reinforcement I got for being dangerously thin (I actually briefly worked as a teenage model for things like catalogues through an agency in CT. Not nearly as fun as it sounds, but it got me into photography) and I had some pretty serious food avoidance issues. It wasn't about body image, but the compliments on it reinforced I was doing the right thing by almost starving myself, and only being willing to eat a very limited selection of non-processed foods I knew were "safe."

We finally sorted out WHAT I was allergic to, (Carrots, or any products with betacarotene derived from carrots) and eating got a lot more fun, I felt a lot better, and honestly the decrease in attention based ONLY on my looks as I gained weight to a healthier weight was a relief. Hangover from all that - I'm still one of those people who generally responds to stress by not eating, and have some food phobia issues after ending up in the ER not breathing a few times.

 I'm HORRIBLY sad and worried about how this will all turn out... which means I am not eating what I should, and then worrying about that too... and I am feeling like this is all stealing so much from me. As a FTM, I was looking forward to being there for the miracle of birth - my son's birth. Apprehensive about the pain sure, but I have a pretty high tolerance, and it just seemed so worth it. When else is pain so amazingly... productive?

Instead, it's a very real chance I could go to sleep for surgery and wake up accidentally not pregnant. Not even a C section, where maybe I could be awake, so sure I miss the delivery experience, but completely not present for any of it. I'll just wake up and oh by the way, that baby over there? He's yours, we promise. No you can't take him home for awhile.... It just feels so WRONG. And since I had so many problems through pregnancy, this very well could be our one and done.

And honestly - the thought of deliberately picking a NICU, then doing something kind of on purpose that will put my son there kills me a little inside. I understand why, and the risk of going into pre-term labor from this issue spontaneously, 3 hours from adequate care outweighs the risk of surgery with a NICU team standing by, but this still feels like it will be *my fault* if he ends up in the NICU. What if we had bought the house closer to civilization? What if we had caught this before the third trimester? What if I had refused surgery against medical advice, and nothing bad had happened?

I really just want to curl up in bed and let someone else deal with this. Instead I am having to be strong, make decisions, not fall apart and freak out my family or friends, and polly-anna my way through this.

Sorry for the novel ladies... apparently I needed to get it out.

 

jamiesc58

Oh my @Allisun85...I am so sorry you are going through all of this right now.  Just remember, you need to do what is best for you and baby. If you can't eat, that is not helping either of you right now. I wish so bad that I had words of wisdom to provide but all I can say is that I will pray for you!

Car0liiine

@Allisun85 That Blowwwws!!! I would be feeling the exact same way and I wish I had any ideas of how to make it better. I know you know that at the end of the day, you still get your baby and relief from the damn gall bladder - but I also know that doesn't mean you aren't super disappointed. You will have to let yourself grieve for the shattered expectations of that birth day you imagined. But I think that happens for many women without a chance to prepare for it. Maybe by knowing the possible outcomes you can do a little of that grieving now so that you won't waste as much time on it after and have more room for all the happier emotions when you meet your baby. You will be able to plan for how to make this scenario as comfortable as possible, again most don't make any plans for nicu. 
I dunno if any of that helps. Just trying to find some silver lining. But like I said, this blows so let yourself feel that for a little if you need to. Xoxo

Car0liiine

Just an update on me: I have been feeling waaayyy better since they upped my dosage from 50mg to 100mg. Still had one night of bawling about loneliness and my lack of friends in the area. But I've been able to deal with day to day life much better. 
I think being out of work so long has been bad for me, but the particular work environment I was in was worse so it was still the right decision. I'm just so bored and totally over waiting for this baby. I don't want her to come early at all. But I'm kind of out of things to do to prep for her. So I end up sleeping all day (what am I getting up for?) And then staying up all night scouring the internet for anything else I can do to buy, learn, or get ready. Bleh. But overall I'm doing fine and should not be whining because I'm sure most of y'all would kill to be at home with nothing to do but sleep and lounge on the couch all day!

ballofmeat

@Allisun85

Oh wow! That all sounds so overwhelming. At least you now know what some of the food triggers are now. I was reading the other thread where you posted and it sounds like you have a lot of things checked off your list. You are more prepared than you think! You definitely deserve to give yourself some credit and love. You got this!

charmedlifex3

@Car0liine Thank you, I needed to hear that. I've been feeling bad about feeling bad, on top of everything else. Sometimes - things just suck. And yeah I'll get through it, and so will the baby... that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. 
@midwestbaby This whole growing a human crap is hard! We all deserve some credit and love. 

We're meeting with the specialists next week to discuss the when and hows, and I keep hoping they will have another answer for me. Maybe there is some rainbow unicorn cure no one has brought up yet... 

@Car0liine Have you looked into local moms groups? I know on meetup I found a bunch of "Stroller strides" type of things, and expectant mommies were welcome! I know it's hard to put yourself out there like that, but when I have done so it's always been rewarding.