How is everyone doing? Check-in June 14

AliciaGoose

@mjolk I am so sorry you had to go through the process of confirming what you already knew. We went through the same thing and it was so sad. I'm glad your SO is ready and willing to try again whenever you are cleared. I think knowing you can move forward definitely helps. 

I am still having an issue with being sad when I do things for the first time I shouldn't be able to. I bawled my eyes out the first night I had wine. It wasn't even enjoyable because I could only think "I'm not supposed to be able to do this right now, and I would trade it in a second to go back". It does get better with time though. 

Also the waiting is horrible, I'm so sorry they weren't able to do what they needed to get you scheduled so you could move forward. Major hugs to you. 

newlymrsparaons

@mjolk and @AliciaGoose I had a similar experience this week, except it was with laughter. I found some picture on Pintrest that just struck me funny and ended up laughing til it hurt, but then felt guilty for laughing when I was still going through a MC. My laughing ended up being crying. Poor DH didn't quite know what to think. I think whatever leftover hormones are there are just driving me batty. I seem to be crying at the drop of a hat. Which I know is "normal," but for some reason I thought I would be doing better with this being my 3rd
 
*Some graphic and possibly disturbing content follows*

After waiting for two weeks to get a D&C scheduled, I finally got a time booked for this coming Monday, only to have my body decided to go forward with a natural MC. I had no idea what to expect since my others were finished with D&C's. Having my body go through the physical process was harder on my emotions than I expected. I had googled what to look for and immediately recognized the sac in the toilet. I was prepared and wanting to fish it out, but couldn't do it in the end. But I couldn't just flush it either. I just sat there crying for a bit before getting my husband to flush the toilet. I really don't know yet if I regret that or not. I feel like I have the image burned in my brain.
I know having the natural MC is preferable for my body and recovery, but I also wished I could've just gotten the D&C and not have seen that.

I also just want to say that there are so many of you that I can relate to and thank you to the women who start this board each week. 

GTKY - I know they've become overly popular recently, but I bought myself a colouring book and it really does help me relax. That, and chocolate covered ju-jubes.

AliciaGoose

@newlymrsparaons I'm sorry you're having trouble being happy as well! I assume it is a really natural part of the process, but that doesn't make it any easier! I also went through a natural M/C and had a similar experience to you. I was actually in the bathroom of my aunts house during a picnic with other people waiting outside of the bathroom to come in when it happened. I knew exactly what it was when I felt it come out. I felt rushed and just flushed and walked out, and now I think all the time about whether that was the right decision. 

I will say in general I am thankful I was able to have a natural M/C, but it is heartbreaking to know and see everything.

mjolk

ate my post

lyndam1

@mjolk So sorry you were put on the back burner! You have every right to be angry with the mismanagement of the scheduling! I was in a similar situation, and it's extremely unnerving. I hope you're ok this weekend! 
@AliciaGoose Being sad at normal things is totally ok, though I know we would prefer not being able to do things like drink wine...hugs to you!
@newlymrsparaons I'm so sorry for your loss! Hugs to you too!

mjolk

Found out a relative is expecting... so right around the time I'd have been announcing.   I feel pretty sad. I know I am not a terrible person for feeling sad about that news, but it sort of feels like it.

Thanks again for all the support... I wish none of us had to go through this. This was my first pregnancy. Hugs for you all.