Friends And Pregnancy

amazinangie

You never really know who your TRUE friends are until you are pregnant, am I right or am I RIGHT!? Lol .. idk why some just can't be happy for you instead of being shady, undercover jealous, and being selfish always thinking/talking sbout themselves & trying to have you around their negatively and drama filled life! It's always the main ones saying I'm so happy for you, until it's time for them to be around or listen to your happiness, oh but they'll come around & talk for sure when it's about them or thier same ole drama/negative filled lifestyle, I just cut them off I can't have negative, immature spirits lingering around my unborn.

LadyHook

amazinangie said:

You never really know who your TRUE friends are until you are pregnant, am I right or am I RIGHT!? Lol .. idk why some just can't be happy for you instead of being shady, undercover jealous, and being selfish always thinking/talking sbout themselves & trying to have you around their negatively and drama filled life! It's always the main ones saying I'm so happy for you, until it's time for them to be around or listen to your happiness, oh but they'll come around & talk for sure when it's about them or thier same ole drama/negative filled lifestyle, I just cut them off I can't have negative, immature spirits lingering around my unborn.

I guess I haven't really had this problem but it sounds like you recognize that you don't need negative people like that in your life. I'm all for shedding that; life is too short.

PrettyPalomino

You need to evaluate whether or not it's worth supporting them in their time of need. Some people are wallowers who can't make a good self-sustaining decision for the life of them, and those people will only drain you out.

BUT some are just in the dumps and if you're there for them in hard times, they can be there for you in the future. Be careful not to nix people out of your life because they're being selfish, we all have moments of selfishness.

anotherlady2013

I don't know about your situation, but for me--I have a friend that has recently suffered a loss.  She's mid-30's and it's been really hard on her.  She's happy for me but sad for herself at the same time.  I totally understand because I've been there.  I just try to not talk about it much when she's around so as not to upset her.

ZoeFer

I cannot talk about your situation or your friends that you are talking about, but I try not to talk about my pregnancy much unless people ask about it or they are also pregnant etc. I know that my pregnancy does not have to be the main focus for all of my friends. It is the most important thing for me, DH and our parents but life just goes on for other people. I remember how bored I was when pregnant people could only talked about their pregnancies before , especially when I was dealing with infertility. 

srcr2011

OP, are you in high school? Perhaps get a diary and put this as the first entry..."Dear Diary...". I was not aware this forum was a public diary. Also you can't expect people to be over the moon excited for you as you are excited for this baby. The world does not stop revolving around the sun and start revolving around you when you are pregnant. Other people have stuff going on as well. You can't expect people to stop everything to listen to how you're nauseated, constipated, tired, or whatever. Friendship works both ways. Maybe they feel the same way about you as you do them...maybe this pregnancy has changed you and all you talk about is yourself...I find this post really immature.

Leash14a

srcr2011 said:

OP, are you in high school? Perhaps get a diary and put this as the first entry..."Dear Diary...". I was not aware this forum was a public diary. Also you can't expect people to be over the moon excited for you as you are excited for this baby. The world does not stop revolving around the sun and start revolving around you when you are pregnant. Other people have stuff going on as well. You can't expect people to stop everything to listen to how you're nauseated, constipated, tired, or whatever. Friendship works both ways. Maybe they feel the same way about you as you do them...maybe this pregnancy has changed you and all you talk about is yourself...I find this post really immature.

srcr2011

I don't understand why you qfp...

Eta: my phone was slow, I just saw the gif now. I was so confused.

HotSauceSwagBag

This sounds familiar. Needs more clipart though. 

Maybe some specific situations would help your case? I usually find when people vaguely rant about drama, it's usually they that are the ultra-dramatic. 

Also remember no one cares about your baby as much as you do. When you've had friends get pregnant in the past, did you honestly want to hear them go on and on about their pregnancies/babies? Probably not. I love talking about that stuff but even I would like to interject with something about my own life once in a while. 

kms456

You sound a little like my sister. She's pregnant the same time I am and it's LITERALLY ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. The world doesn't stop revolving because you're pregnant. I still have a life, I hope you do too.  If all you're doing is talking non-stop about your pregnancy, that's annoying as F***.  She's totally clueless that's she's doing it and doesn't understand why people aren't over the moon for her. Because literally it's alllllll she ever talks about and it's exhausting for others.
I'm not saying this is your fault, but maybe take a step back. I rarely talk about me being pregnant, because I have a life too. I'm doing all the same things I did before, I'm just doing them pregnant now. Just make sure you aren't constantly talking about it.  Just as you find her negativity annoying, she might find you talking about your pregnancy annoying.

Friends aren't always meant to make it all the way through your life. But before you write someone off completely, I'd sit down and tell them how you feel

amazinangie

@srcr2011 No I'm not in high school all I've said is that it's funny when you're around to listen to so called friends drama being a sounding board they're in the mood to chat then, but when the tables turn as to when you're telling them a simple 'I find out what I'm having next week, or sending an ultrasound pic' no reply

amazinangie

@LadyHook Thanks for understanding unlike some lol

amazinangie

@kms456 Only thing I've said about my pregnancy is, hey I'm expecting, hey I find out what I'm having next week,  and sending an Simple ultrasound... nothing in return

amazinangie

@HotSauceSwagBag Actually I've always been there for my friends if they let me, most get funny acting , I'm pretty loyal and treat friends just like family, most of my friends had babies pretty young straight in /out of high school, this post really isn't even about just being pregnant I'm just saying friends disappear when they find vs before 

Akuehn

This reason is why I haven't told a lot of people and I'm half way to my due date.  My family, few close family friends, and just a very few close friends from high school/college.  They're all extremely supportive and excited for me, one of my friends I did tell is excited for me in spite of her recent loss, and is a very good ear when I am in need of advice as we both suffer from chronic migraines.  I haven't posted baby bump pics or done a announcement, I do want to do a gender reveal picture as my announcement, but worry how some people will react, and I still have difficulty with the questions regarding as I call him, my babies sperm donor who hasn't spoken to me since I told him and made it pretty clear he doesn't want anything to do with us. 

talkthewholetime

I felt a little sad when I was pregnant with my first - all my friends were doing this I couldn't do, my life was definitely changing and it seemed like we were growing apart. (by the way, I was 28, and they've all caught up to the baby stage now.)

However, because I was 28 and not 18, I knew that they didn't NEED to care about my pregnancy (although they all did, on some level). They didn't go to happy hour to hear about it. Big deals in your life aren't big deals in everyone else's life. And holy insensitivity - you have no idea what they're been through fertility-wise.

Why would you send someone an unsolicited ultrasound pic? I don't understand why they would want to see that, unless they asked or are related to you. I don't go around sending pictures of my kid to people unsolicited. What do you say? "Cute fetus?"

loko08

I think it's important to know your audience here. People who want to talk about your pregnancy, will talk about it. They'll ask questions, and be receptive when you talk about it. People who don't, don't, so I wouldn't send them ultrasound pictures or update them on what's going on. 

Don't take it personally. Still reach out to those friends, they were your friends before you became pregnant for a reason. Like others have said, no one cares as much about your pregnancy as you and your partner. You can't force that, so temper your expectations. Don't write people off. 

Also, this is the internet. Don't take it personally when people don't agree with you, or pat you on the head and tell you what you want to hear. You asked for opinions, you got them. 

Thewizardofrhythm

Is this a thing that happens with adults? 

amazinangie

@talkthewholetime they've all got kids, some more than one, im the late bloomer I'm 27 and no just a hey im finally expecting 

amazinangie

@Akuehn i understand, sorry about the lost. And I'm feeling you on the migraines , they're not a joke! 

amazinangie

@cagirl18 yes that's true, i get where you're coming from! I have tried to reach out around when i was getting ready to find out the gender and just various times about hanging out but its just a one sided convo on my end so i've honestly been doing as you've stated not revealing or updating and i will just have to continue with doing that.  

Akuehn

They're ridiculous, the acupuncture and chiropractic care helps.