Feeling like a bad person

kerris713

I'm a breastfeeding mom to our 13 mo and we just got a surprise BFP on Saturday. I've only had one period since I had our DD last month and really was hoping to wait until next year to ttc. Hubby is super excited and I'm happy but sad bc Im not ready to share my time. Is that bad? I feel like such an a**hole for feeling this way. I know everything will work out and I'll get excited soon but anyone else feel similarly with their 2nd or 3rd time around?

Vastra

I don't have any firsthand experience with this exact situation, but creepy internet hugs! NO, this  does not make you a bad person. Sounds like a normal reaction to me, especially since you JUST found out. You're probably still in shock. I have a friend who got KU with #2 when #1 was four months. At the time, she thought she would go insane. Now, she's super thankful that her kids are closer in age than she planned, because they are best friends. You already seem to understand that things will be fine. You're allowed some not-perfect feelings! 

kerris713

@Vastra thank you! Just feeling stressed but it will pass

16isourluckynumber

When I was pregnant with #2, I found that I worried so much about how #1 would react and be affected.  Now maybe this makes ME sound like a bad person, but as soon as #2 was born it almost flipped.  I was more worried about the newborn.  Everything settled down and equalized within the first few months or so.  Now I'm pregnant with #3 and of course worrying about whether I am ruining things for 1 and 2!  haha.  I think/HOPE that when they are adults they will never be able to imagine life without each other. 

BumpasaurusRex

No, you're not a bad person at all!  While I'm so happy about baby #2, it does make me sad to think that my time with just DS and as a family of 3 will be over in February.  

I know there will be a time of adjustment and things will be fine in the end but it's still a sadness and a legitimate one at that.

Give yourself some time to process your feelings.  

kswiger06

I'm over ecstatic to be pregnant with our third. We have a 9 yr old and 7 yr old, however now that I'm officially expecting, I've had a moment where I got sad/nervous about the changes that will be coming. We haven't told our kids or any family/friends yet. I wanted to have some time to be excited for ourselves. I think the kids will be happy about it, but they really don't know what it will be like either. I just don't want to lose the bond, especially with my daughter. My son got distant when his sister was born,  but he was only 2 at the time. I know everything will be fine, it's just the idea of change. I think it's normal to have an Instinct of concern for the personal time with the kids. I'm sure @kerris713 that the feelings u have are because it was unexpected. A few months later you will be mentally adjusted and comfortable with the sudden change!! But if u still need to talk that's why we're here

kerris713

Thank you ladies for the support. 

MagicMikki

I have two older children from a previous marriage and they are really close in age (21 months apart).  They are best friends!  I'm so happy that they get along so well and have each other.  :-)  There is always a silver lining, and I'm confident it will work out for your family!