I Want Another Baby, But Don't Want To Be Pregnant Again

Fergiegal

What do you do when you dream about a 3rd member for your other two kids, want the baby to be biological, not adopted, but aren't crazy when you think of being pregnant again. And this time, with two other little ones to manage. Does this mean I should just say, "I'm done" with babies? Will I go on the rest of my life wondering what my 3rd child would have been like? Will I regret it later on? I just can't see myself go through the whole pregnancy thing again. But, that third baby won't escape my brain. What to do?

varimama

I think if you aren't ready to be pregnant again and don't want to adopt then you might just not be ready for another child. It doesn't mean you'll never be just that you aren't right now. 

whenwillieversleep

I hated being pregnant. Its a challenging time. However, it's only 9 months. I am not doing it for myself or for the joy of the baby growing process, but more so for my daughter and to give her a sibling. If the pros outweigh the cons (rather, the inconveniences) then you should do it. Yes it's difficult and alters your life in many ways, but if the end result is worth going through all of that then you should do it.

Fergiegal

marriedhamstermom said:

I think if you aren't ready to be pregnant again and don't want to adopt then you might just not be ready for another child. It doesn't mean you'll never be just that you aren't right now. 

Could be right. My husband and I are just talking about a third baby now. But, should we decide it's a go, we wouldn't start trying till next year. Have to see where we are financially, and how our two boys are w school, behavior, etc. Right now, I'm just in that grey area, and it's very stressful. 

Fergiegal

whenwillieversleep said:

I hated being pregnant. Its a challenging time. However, it's only 9 months. I am not doing it for myself or for the joy of the baby growing process, but more so for my daughter and to give her a sibling. If the pros outweigh the cons (rather, the inconveniences) then you should do it. Yes it's difficult and alters your life in many ways, but if the end result is worth going through all of that then you should do it.

I totally agree. Whoever said pregnancy is easy, is crazy. Especially when you have kids already. I feel that doctors also don't let you enjoy pregnancy. So many tests, and you always think something is wrong. With my second baby, I was a big worry worm, and I hated that feeling so much.

amberhoothoot

I'm in the same boat. I have a fast paced stressful job, pregnancy was just really hard to deal with during all that... but we are considering a 3rd... someday.

AmberTensing217

Well, what does your husband/SO/wife say? If he/she doesn't want a 3rd then theres no point in continuing stressing yourself out over "what if", but if he/she does want one then make a pros vs. cons and go from there.

Fergiegal

amberhoothoot said:

I'm in the same boat. I have a fast paced stressful job, pregnancy was just really hard to deal with during all that... but we are considering a 3rd... someday.

Yeah I work from home, full time, and doing it with a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old is tough. Thankfully, my 4 year old in school full time (out now for summer). But, if we do end up trying, it would be once my youngest is in nursery school at least 2-3 days a week. Right now, my youngest is a total handful. If he doesn't grow out of his tough little personality, then I'm not even going to try for a third. May I ask you age? I'm 32 now, but don't want to have a baby past the age of 34. I don't want to placed in that 'high risk' bracket. 

Fergiegal

AmberTensing217 said:

Well, what does your husband/SO/wife say? If he/she doesn't want a 3rd then theres no point in continuing stressing yourself out over "what if", but if he/she does want one then make a pros vs. cons and go from there.

My husband currently says he would like a third. But, we both wouldn't want to try until next year bc, we'd like to see if our finances are better next year. And, we'd like to also move into a bigger home. Once and IF we secure those two things, then it would be safe to have another. I keep seeing all these things on FB tho, of women who have preeclampsia, and then die from a fit. Or, women who have babies with down syndrome, or other chromosomal issues. I am so scared of that being me. Sometimes, I feel maybe I should just be happy with my two healthy boys. But, then I'm scared I'll regret not having a third. I wish you could just guarantee a healthy baby....