Baby's 1st/Father in law Bday (inlaw drama)

VickyMoore

Hello ladies! I need some advice. DS is turning 1 on June 10 (Friday) and we will be having his party on June 11 Saturday. We had originally planned to have the party at my in laws but last week my mother in law said she wanted to have my father in law's birthday celebration there the same day. His birthday is June 6. After I told her we would have the party elsewhere, she said we will have FIL's bday party on the 4th (this saturday). I texted to confirm this today and she now says we will probably celebrate FIL's bday next Friday, June 10, my first born's first birthday. Am I wrong to think that this is a bit messed up of her to do? I am sensitive to my in law's opinions and I may just be over thinking thinga because DS is 4th grandchild and was only the youngest for 6 months. Anyways, I guess my question is, does any other mom find this wrong and should I let it upset me that she is not considering this to be as special a day for DS as I do?

bwow615

I think she is trying to make it work.  She made the effort to move the date of your FIL's party from the 11th, the day you are planning the party for your DS.  You will all be celebrating DS on the 11th... and that doesn't mean you still can't do something special for him on the 10th too, his actual birthday.  You may just be thinking too much into it. 

beemaya83

I'd be annoyed. Why steal LO Thunder? My DH wants a birthday cake for my brother in law the day of my LO birthday celebration. I said fine, but we are not singing to him until AFTER my son does his smash cake......ladies, my brother in law turns 39....WTF! 

Kbchavez23

It would bother me too. My LO and mil are 1 day apart and she wouldn't mind if I wanted to do something on her day (even though I wouldn't) it's a baby's 1st bday let the baby have its day!!!

virginiaunicorn11

I think if she's hosting, it is hard to complain. And no, no one in the world is going to find the day as important as you do, and that's ok. I'm not a person that would mind splitting the party, because the baby isn't going to know anyway, you can still do a smash cake, and if the point is just to get everyone together to celebrate, then what's the problem?

But ultimately, our opinions don't matter. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. I would suggest finding a different location and day for the party if it matters to you and you don't like how it's going.

delujm0

I feel like it's kind of weird that your FIL still has a birthday get-together in the first place...I guess that's just not a thing in my family or my in-laws'...we really only celebrate the kids' birthdays.  But we also live scattered across the country, so it would be difficult to celebrate everyone's birthday in person, practically speaking.  My birthday is 3 days before DD's, and I've accepted that everyone will just forget about it for the rest of my life (fine with me, I guess that means I just won't age anymore!).

 

Your MIL is trying to accommodate what you want to do and also plan another party for her husband.  I don't think you can be mad about this...your kid's birthday isn't Mardi Gras, you don't get multiple days to celebrate.  You picked one, and your MIL kindly adjusted her plans around it.  If you need to/want to have the party at her house, she makes the rules.  Honestly, I wouldn't mind doing a joint party for your son and your FIL, assuming the guest lists are identical.  The baby won't know.  The first birthday is more about the parents than it is about the baby.  We're probably not even having an official party.  i'll just make a cake and let her rub her face in it while we take pictures.  And our relatives have already started sending gifts.  Again, this is mostly due to the "families spread across the country" thing, but still.