Flying in 3rd Tri

MrsRahl

So I'm trying desperately to get out of going to a wedding across the country when I will be 30 weeks pregnant. I know I probably am permitted to (or won't I?) But do you think family would buy me staying home? It's my in laws family, my husband will be in the wedding and so I'll also be on my own wrangling a 2.5 year old who doesn't do well in large crowds. I should also mention I'm terrified of flying and obviously can't be medicated to fly as I usually do. It's way too far to drive. Over 24 hours. So what say you fellow bumpies? 

fionnualajane

Best to check the airline policy. I know I can fly after about 22 weeks here in the UK.

cjs260

My doc said 32 weeks was the limit. I asked because I have a cross country conference in Nov that I most likely will not be able to go to. BUT, I totally think that your family should buy you staying home. I think that's completely acceptable! Good luck! 

karaelaine1991

"My doctor told me I'm not allowed to." That should be all you need to say! Even if it's not true (and I honestly have no idea, I didn't have a reason to fly during my first pregnancy), you'll be close enough that they should buy it.  

susykat77

I just looked up United's policy (because I am bored at work) and they say you can fly through the 8th month of pregnancy without a doctors note. After that you have to have a doctor's note. I am also an anxious flyer so I am not sure that it is worth it to stress the body out.

poetryandoceans

Even if it were technically okay (and TBH I think it probably is), I think if you told your doc what you told us here, the doctor would have absolutely no problem saying you shouldn't, because docs are all about minimizing stress on pregnant women. And then you'd have your medically sanctioned excuse down pat.

If your family pushes back you can just say "You know I'm normally a bit of an anxious flier, so while the doc said it's usually okay to fly at 30 weeks, she said that in my case, she didn't want to put too much stress on me and my unborn child." And if they push back on that? When then they're jerks and you shouldn't care if they don't believe you...

ashanne88

I know you can fly up until about 36 weeks on most airlines (I think Southwest is 38!) but they don't actually check or ask for a doctor's note in my experience (I flew at 35 weeks and no one batted an eye).  That said, in your case, don't do it.  If you don't want to fly and deal with the stress of that and the wedding you shouldn't have to.  Just say the doctor recommended against it and I'm following their orders.  That should be the end of the discussion from family.  It's not like you're telling DH not to go so it really shouldn't be a big deal.  Hope they respect your decision.

Wholesome

I'd go.  Before traveling, I'd make sure your husband set up people to help with the baby while you're there.  Most family are willing to help with tots when mom is waddling around pregnant.  Are your in laws not nice?

MrsRahl

Wholesome said:

I'd go.  Before traveling, I'd make sure your husband set up people to help with the baby while you're there.  Most family are willing to help with tots when mom is waddling around pregnant.  Are your in laws not nice?

My mother and father in law are awesome, but there will be no other family there that aren't in the wedding but my sis in law and she has a toddler and a 5 year old in the wedding to worry about too. To be honest, the ones getting married we hardly know at all, and it just isn't worth the money and stress of it all. They don't even bother calling us on holidays yet they expect us to drop $1,000 to fly out there for their wedding. 

xinran

I would say that if you aren't emotionally charged to go, then don't and it's certainly not going to be a relaxing break if you are an anxious flyer. 
That's the last thing you are going to want at that point so I agree if you speak to your doctor I'm sure they would back you up. 

canavara

ashanne88 said:

I know you can fly up until about 36 weeks on most airlines (I think Southwest is 38!) but they don't actually check or ask for a doctor's note in my experience (I flew at 35 weeks and no one batted an eye).  That said, in your case, don't do it.  If you don't want to fly and deal with the stress of that and the wedding you shouldn't have to.  Just say the doctor recommended against it and I'm following their orders.  That should be the end of the discussion from family.  It's not like you're telling DH not to go so it really shouldn't be a big deal.  Hope they respect your decision.

38 weeks? Ho-ly crap. I wonder how often they deal with in-flight premature labor.

I came across some news story where a woman gave birth on a SW flight in 2009 and it had this interesting tidbit if it puts anyone at ease:

"It is far more likely that somebody will die on your flight than give birth -- 26 times as likely. A study of 10,189 medical emergencies aboard European flights between 2002 and 2007 by German researchers found only two births but 52 deaths.

Southwest does offer written guidance for pregnant passengers that "strongly recommends against air travel after the 38th week of pregnancy."

(from here: https://abcnews.go.com/Travel/BusinessTraveler/woman-birth-baby-boy-southwest-airlines-flight/story?id=9251477)

LoveIsOwlYouNeed

Why do you even need to say you're not allowed? I feel like "I am 30 weeks pregnant and traveling across the country with a toddler is just too much while we're also getting ready for the new baby. Sorry.  DH will represent our family" should suffice.  

I know couples where one didn't come to a wedding because they were moving soon or it was just too expensive. You don't need to explain or excuse yourself. 

KSimone619

My doc said 36 weeks is cut off for domestic travel.  I have traveled in past pregnancies at 30 weeks with no problems.  I was a little uncomfortable, but otherwise nothing to write home about!

MrsRahl

LoveIsOwlYouNeed said:

Why do you even need to say you're not allowed? I feel like "I am 30 weeks pregnant and traveling across the country with a toddler is just too much while we're also getting ready for the new baby. Sorry.  DH will represent our family" should suffice.  

I know couples where one didn't come to a wedding because they were moving soon or it was just too expensive. You don't need to explain or excuse yourself. 

Tell that to the family

LoveIsOwlYouNeed

MrsRahl said:

LoveIsOwlYouNeed said:

Why do you even need to say you're not allowed? I feel like "I am 30 weeks pregnant and traveling across the country with a toddler is just too much while we're also getting ready for the new baby. Sorry.  DH will represent our family" should suffice.  

I know couples where one didn't come to a wedding because they were moving soon or it was just too expensive. You don't need to explain or excuse yourself. 

Tell that to the family

No offense, but I, personally, would...

If the family needs an actual excuse, then lie.  But most doctors will tell you that you can travel until 36 weeks. Most airlines cut you off at 32 or more weeks. 

poetryandoceans

@LoveIsOwlYouNeed  I agree with the idea that "Because this is what is happening" is really all you should have to say in situations like this. If you don't want to, people should respect that and not guilt you or try to get you to justify your reasons for doing what you feel is best in the situation. 

But on the other hand, I have my in-laws. So I totally get the appeal of being able to say "Whoops, doctor says! So sorry!"

LoveIsOwlYouNeed

poetryandoceans said:

@LoveIsOwlYouNeed  I agree with the idea that "Because this is what is happening" is really all you should have to say in situations like this. If you don't want to, people should respect that and not guilt you or try to get you to justify your reasons for doing what you feel is best in the situation. 

But on the other hand, I have my in-laws. So I totally get the appeal of being able to say "Whoops, doctor says! So sorry!"

Totally get that, which is why I said, lie if you have to

ashanne88

canavara said:

ashanne88 said:

I know you can fly up until about 36 weeks on most airlines (I think Southwest is 38!) but they don't actually check or ask for a doctor's note in my experience (I flew at 35 weeks and no one batted an eye).  That said, in your case, don't do it.  If you don't want to fly and deal with the stress of that and the wedding you shouldn't have to.  Just say the doctor recommended against it and I'm following their orders.  That should be the end of the discussion from family.  It's not like you're telling DH not to go so it really shouldn't be a big deal.  Hope they respect your decision.

38 weeks? Ho-ly crap. I wonder how often they deal with in-flight premature labor.

I came across some news story where a woman gave birth on a SW flight in 2009 and it had this interesting tidbit if it puts anyone at ease:

"It is far more likely that somebody will die on your flight than give birth -- 26 times as likely. A study of 10,189 medical emergencies aboard European flights between 2002 and 2007 by German researchers found only two births but 52 deaths.

Southwest does offer written guidance for pregnant passengers that "strongly recommends against air travel after the 38th week of pregnancy."

(from here: https://abcnews.go.com/Travel/BusinessTraveler/woman-birth-baby-boy-southwest-airlines-flight/story?id=9251477)

I was super surprised when I learned SW was 38 weeks.  Even though it's unlikely, an airplane is really not where I'd want to give birth or be laboring - so cramped, dirty and all the people!

canavara

ashanne88 said:

I was super surprised when I learned SW was 38 weeks.  Even though it's unlikely, an airplane is really not where I'd want to give birth or be laboring - so cramped, dirty and all the people!

@ashanne88: Right?! I can't imagine what it would like if it happened and there DIDN'T happen to be a doctor or medical professionals on the flight. Just imagining laying on the galley floor wedged between a dirty bathroom and a drinks cart as randos in the last 5 rows film a baby crowning out of me on their cell phones, of course to be aired on every and all media outlets within 1 hour. Grossssssss.