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May 2016 Moms
Charissadeats
member
Relationships after babies
Charissadeats
member
Curious to hear how your relationships changed after the first couple of weeks since LO.
In what way did your relationship change after having LO?
Are you guys still making time for each other?
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
In what way did your relationship change after having LO?
Are you guys still making time for each other?
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
Re: Relationships after babies
Are you guys still making time for each other? We are. It is tough because you want to put sleep first at this stage, but we've both been very good at recognizing what the other has done and make sure to kiss a lot!
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone? Absolutely. I know it's stupid but my alone time is showering each day or him taking her to calm down while I sit back on the couch. He gets his time when grabbing food or sodas, and when he's at work. He's extremely helpful because he knows she's attached to me constantly since I'm the food source.
Are you guys still making time for each other?
Yip. Cuddles have increased and we still make sure to keep up with our favourite shows. We are going on a date this weekend (a quick one close to home mind you haha).
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
We never had much alone time before, but rather alone time together - like I will read when he plays games. That's still the same except for LO sleeping in his RnP by us now. He does grant me showers and naps though for which I am super thankful!
All in all I think we are doing great relationship-wise.
We're pretty much the same. We were always kind of homebodies with the weekly date night out.
Are you guys still making time for each other?
Yes. Last weekend we went to the movies together. MH is always more attracted to me now (it feels like). We try to have some "alone" time even though the baby is always there.
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
We let each other nap--he lets me nap more (I feel a little bad about it). He let me go out and get his nails done. He goes to work each day. And I'm going to go to my friend's birthday lunch on the 11th. Trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy.
Are you guys still making time for each other? Yes! Although we are both sleep deprived and we try to nap when we could, we definitely don't hesitate to call one of the grandmas to babysit. This past Sunday we attended a family BBQ and left LO with grandma. We've actually had this discussion a few times during the past couple of weeks that we need to always make time for ourselves and we should never allow our relationship to suffer- we have to stay strong in order to bring LO up the way we deem fit.
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone? Yes again! DH has gone out for a couple of hours with the boys and he gets his video game time often lol. On the flip side, he always asks if I would like a nap or if I want to go out somewhere- so far so good
Personal alone time? There is very little time for self care in this phase for me, those first few weeks demand a lot around here. That is now compounded by two young children.
It really is a lot. But we are so blessed and lucky to have these wonderful healthy happy kids and keep that in mind all the time. We doing good and are overall very happy (but so sleepy!). We have done this before and know the lack of real sleep isn't a forever thing. We are just beyond greatful for these two babies we have and their health and our health. We also know this time will fly by (because we have already done it before and this is our last) so our perspective is to cherish this time despite the less flattering parts (like did I mention serious lack of sleep?)
In what way did your relationship change after having LO?
It's definitely brought out a new appreciation for each other. Seeing DH become such a great dad and him interact with Pollie has made me love him more than ever. Our time together has changed slightly as now we both stare and talk to each other about how much we love Pollie.
Are you guys still making time for each other?
We still spend a lot of time together, once he's home from work we do pretty much everything together. We've always made sure to go to bed at the same time, which is nice because then it gives time to cuddle and to spend the last minutes of the day together.
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
If one of us wants space and alone time then we give it but where he works all day we tend to want to spend time together when he's not working.
I honestly don't feel like our relationship changed that much. If anything, there's just a quietness and a happiness to our relationship 24/7. We had a fight today and we're just cracking up the whole time, DH even was holding the baby and said "Ezra, get mom! She's being crazy!" Cracked me up!
I did ask him if watching my give birth changed how he saw me, he said he always saw me as kindof a whiner and seeing me go through something so intense and making it through showed him that when push comes to shove I can make it through.
Are you guys still making time for each other?
We try. Our time together before Ezra was watching documentaries or fun videos or even just being in a room together, and those were easy things to fold the baby into.
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
Because were EBF I don't get too much time by myself, but we try. If DH is playing some types of video games I'll just hang with Ezra. Usually I'll have to ask DH for some time but I think that's because he knows how much I want to be with my baby. DH saw me looking exhausted today and he made me food and I said "do you think you could take Ez for like 20 minutes?" And he said "I can take him for an hour and a half if he's already fed and changed". I just heard him cry and saw them walk around but he didn't come down to give the baby back. It's weird and nice
I've fallen in love with my husband all over again. He's an amazing father and partner. I honestly expected the newborn phase to put a strain on our relationship, but if anything it has strengthened it. It's like we both found new traits in each other (brought on by parenthood) that we neglected to notice before and that have given us a whole new appreciation & love for each other.
Are you guys still making time for each other?
It's challenging, but we try. Usually we have 1-2 hours of time together after DD's bedtime when we just enjoy each other's company. Throughout the day we tend to split our chores, so we don't get as much, but it's still more than we did while we were both working full-time. When the weather allows, we'll take DD for a walk in the afternoon, which we also both enjoy together.
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
Definitely! This is so important for us and also what has kept me sane from being cooped up with a preemie. He usually offers to take over an afternoon of childcare at least twice a week to allow me personal time (meeting a friend, getting my hair done, reading a book, sleeping in...) and I return the favor to him. Works brilliantly for both of us.
Home, healthy & happy
~ A., A. & L.J. - our family is complete ~
day will be torture otherwise. I am looking forward to the better times that lie ahead- I know they are they, it's just hard to see them sometimes unfortunately.
We are still discovering what our new normal is. DH is not someone who adjusts quickly. We have had many discussion and I've tried to make some comments over the last 10 months of how our lives will be different and what exactly will be different. We both waited a little longer than others to have children so we both have been used to doing things whenever we wanted. It's been a harder transition for both of us than I thought it would be. The first week or two was really tough. DH wasn't sure what his role was and he's not someone who looks for projects or chores. When he has a list, he completes it just fine. He also has never been around babies so having one at home, with a postpartum, hormonal wife, while having just moved a few weeks earlier and just starting a new job days after DD was born, was really tough for him. There have been, and still are, bumps but we're slowly figuring things out.
Are you guys still making time for each other?
We try to. DH likes his alone time. We have it worked out where he goes to work, spends dinner and an hour or two with me and DD, then has his own time (bumming online and usually gaming with his buddies). He'll also come up to help in the night with DD. Our quality time alone has definitely decreased. It used to be just the two of us all the time, after all. When we moved, his computer went from being in the living room at the old place to being in the man cave in the basement at our new place. I'm glad he has that space to play his board games but I miss him being in the same room when he's on his computer surfing the internet or gaming. He needs to be in the basement as our apartment is small and he'd wake up DD if he were on the first floor but even having him in the same room to have the banter and one-line comments was nice. I don't get that now. We have decided to go out together, just the two of us, once a month. My parents are living with us Monday-Friday through the summer and right now, are the only people I trust to watch DD. They are happy to watch her whenever we want to go somewhere on a weeknight. We have taken advantage of that a few times but only once has it been for quality time together.
Do you allow each other some space and to have some personal time alone?
We both need our alone time. Our problem is we have trouble balancing it. For DH, he can have too much alone time gaming and I can have too much alone time with DD. We are working on it. There are days I get hormonal and need more interaction with people. With DH, he can be content staying in the basement gaming all day (I don't think he'll ever lose that). I'm the one who brings him out of his cave and he says he's glad he quits for a while and does something outside but at first, it can take some convincing and encouraging.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)