Emily Morgan

amberraysofdawn

Guess I should get this thing up already....tl;dr version for those who don't feel like reading a novel: went in for an induction, ended up getting a csection. 

DH and I went in to what was supposed to be an ordinary OB appointment at 39w5d, and left it with an appointment for an induction (due to hypertension and other factors) that evening. Pitocin started at 6pm, and everything progressed very slowly after that. My water broke the next morning at 7:30ish, pitocin was gradually increased every half hour. By 3pm I was in transition and shaking uncontrollably. I had a fever that wouldn't go down, so they started me on antibiotics. By five I was pushing, but LO wasn't progressing at all. At six it was strongly suggested that I consider a csection, and after a few more contractions and pushes that went nowhere, I agreed. 

At this point is when I started panicking. I don't know if it was due to the meds or my nerves, but my mouth and throat went really dry, to the point where I couldn't swallow. My epidural was increased to the point where I couldn't feel myself breathe, even though I knew I was. And nobody seemed to take me seriously about it - I just wanted the damn oxygen mask - so I just kept mentally freaking out about it. 

I was still shivering uncontrollably with my arms  out to the side and my body straight when DH asked if I could hear her cry...I hadn't noticed it until he pointed it out. Emily was born at 6:50pm, 20.5 inches long and weighing in at 8lbs 0.7oz. It turned out that her head was too big to deliver (there was an impression on her head and everything) so the csection had been a good idea after all.

When he brought her over to me, I couldn't focus on Emily's face for more than two seconds. I couldn't feel joy or excitement over her birth because I was too busy trying not to pass out on the table right there. DH eventually got up and walked around a bit with her while they were still putting me back together. At that point I was actively wishing I would pass out - I knew I wouldn't get to hold her right away afterward and that one glimpse was all I was going to get for awhile - but I stayed awake the whole time. I was basically in hell. That was the longest thirty minutes in my entire life. 

When it was over, Emily was nowhere in sight - they had to take her to the NICU for six hours' observation due to their concerns about an infection - so they sent me back to the delivery room for a couple of hours. When it was time to move to a postpartum room, they were nice enough to wheel my bed to the NICU so I could hold her for a few minutes, but I was still pretty out of it from the surgery. It wasn't until 4am when they finally brought her to my room and we got to have some skin-to-skin time that it sunk in that this was my child and to feel that emotional bond because of it. 

Whatever happened in there could easily have been so much worse, and I'm well aware that my experience pales in comparison to some others. I got a healthy daughter whom I fiercely love out of it, and that's all that matters.  

JennyS86

sounds like an exhausting induction experience.  I hope your healing is going well.  Emily is a beautiful name - it was my choice for a girls' name, but DH and I only agreed on Clara.

JessicaB0627

Congratulations! She's beautiful!