New and scared.

hoffmanr7

Hello. Guess, I will introduce myself and give a little back history. I am 31, my husband is 36. We have been together for a little over 4 years, married for almost 2. We are pretty new to all of this. We have been trying to conceive for a little over a year with no results. 

We have yet to get tested but will be starting the process. In fact, just today I made our first appointment with a specialist.

I joined this group because, honestly, even though I know someday, someway we will have a family, right now, I'm scared. I'm scared and frustrated, and my husband is too. I tell people that I'm not that worried because I know we will have a family whatever it takes, and we will........but I am still worried. And I thought it would help to talk to people who are in the same boat and can relate.

lablover78

Hi welcome! I mostly post on the tttc board. You should check that one out too as there are also other ladies at the same stage in their journey as you. This is a terrifying journey at times but having the support here honestly helps. One day at a time!

hoffmanr7

Thanks for the tip, I will definitely check that board out. P.S. I love your lab!

msirni0

Hi @hoffmanr7 and welcome! Hope you won't be here with us for too long. Please use us as a resource as you go through testing. Once you get a plan of action, we have threads dedicated to IUI and IVF treatments, so feel free to jump in one of those! Good luck with everything!

Angelic789

Hi, dear! Wellcome to the crowd, hun, this is what you should expect further briefly.

When having problems getting pregnant, the vivid thing is to see your GP. They will look at your medical history and give you a physical examination.
They may also recommend some lifestyle changes to help fertility.
Unless there are reasons that may put you at high risk of infertility, you'll usually only be considered for infertility investigations and treatment. (If you've been trying for a baby for at least a year without becoming pregnant.)
If appropriate, your GP can refer you to a fertility specialist at an NHS hospital or fertility clinic. The specialist will ask about your fertility history, and may carry out a physical examination. You may have tests to check the levels of hormones in your blood and how well your ovaries are working. You may also have an ultrasound scan or X-ray to see if there are any blockages or structural problems. Your partner may be asked for a semen sample to test sperm quality.
If IVF is the best treatment for you, the specialist will refer you to an assisted conception unit. Once you're accepted for treatment at the assisted conception unit, you and your partner will have blood tests for HIV, hepatitis B and hepatitis C, and to check if you're immune to rubella. Your cervical screening tests should also be up to date. The specialist will investigate the amount of eggs in your body and their quality (your ovarian reserve) to estimate how your ovaries will respond to IVF treatment. This can be assessed by measuring a substance called anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) in your blood, or by counting the number of egg-containing follicles, known as your antral follicle count (AFC), using a vaginal ultrasound scan.
Your specialist will then discuss your treatment plan with you in detail and talk to you about any support or guidance you may find helpful. Hope this may help you. Sending strong hugs and all positive vibes to you, hun

GirlTraveler

Hello! I once heard a comedian (George Carlin, I think) do a joke about how silly it is for flight attendants to welcome you to the city where you land, when they've just landed there themselves. I'm going to do the same thing.  I just joined, too, but I'm going to say "welcome" anyway! 
Good for you for joining a board like this sooner rather than later. I started down Infertility Road six months ago, and just lurked about these boards without posting until very recently. Figured I didn't want to post anything because someone else had probably already posted, and I didn't want to waste anyone's time. Well, that's not exactly the point, isn't it? This is essentially a support group of sorts. So, good for you for joining sooner rather than later. 
Hang in there and good luck!

lady_grey

Welcome to the group and so sorry you find yourself here.  Wishing you a smooth journey with answers and positive results sooner rather than later!!  

omarismyhomeboy

Hey there! Welcome! 

This entire situation is *SO* overwhelming, I totally understand. You made the best first step though- getting an appt with an RE is huge. You will actually be able to formulate a plan, once your initial testing gets done, and I can say at least in my experience, having a plan has made me feel much more comforted. Not to say its not hard and that I don't have bad days, but I am able to deal with them more than when I was straddling the "normal" TTC world with the "do I have infertility?" world. Even though we are unexplained, being able to see a clear path that, of course may not work out, but maybe will has helped me emotionally. These boards are also super for that. There's a great group of ladies here!

zigzag8412

Hello!  Welcome friend!  I'm also new to this journey and I'm sorry for your struggles.  You should read my "hello" post... I totally understand the scary/frustrated/overwhelmed.  I suspected going in that there was something wrong (cycle history) but OBGYN wanted us to try for a year before testing... so we did.  Here we are a year later and despite the fact I was the one at the beginning saying something was wrong, now that we're finally here and the OBGYN's confirmed it, I don't want to believe it.  Originally DH and I weren't sure we wanted to pursue testing (more me not wanting to).  I was perfectly happy growing a family via adoption.  We've planned on adopting since we were dating so that wasn't earth shattering; though hearing OBGYN say I don't ovulate definitely registered on the Richter scale.  Like I said... I hadn't planned on getting tested right away, but I went to my annual and it all just kinda happened.  I have a Dr's wife as a close friend and she kept recommending the testing just so I knew so I didn't stop it. Now we're here. Getting tested helped relieve stress I didn't even realize I was carrying.  Friends kept saying "having some answers helps" but I didn't believe them.  I do now.  Somewhat.  It doesn't fix things, but it helps.  
I think the hardest part is having something that was exciting and anticipated and full of love turned in to something scientific and regulated and full of anxiety.  Still love.  But now it's more than just that.  I told DH just last night that now I'm almost afraid to find out we're pregnant cause it brings on a whole new load of worries.  I understand the "scared." But it's beautiful too.  It's hard - and I'm not going to pretend it isn't.  But while it's definitely been trying on our marriage as I have emotions as stable as weather in Florida, it's also made us stronger.  I force myself to tell him the ridiculous things like "I'm afraid you won't love me anymore" and he holds me tighter than ever before and says "that isn't possible."  We talk more.  A lot more. About everything.  It's brought us to a new level of partnership.  I remind myself daily that this isn't *my* journey- it's *our* journey.  This affect him too - so much (even though I'm the medical factor, not him). And he cares - so much.
All that to say, you're among friends, welcome, and best wishes.