Difficulty leaving LO with a sitter?

Kurrant

So I'm sure everyone is sick and tired of hearing about my colicky baby but here goes . . .

MH suggested having his other daughter over ( she is 24 and used to nanny for some toddlers) to watch Lucy in the living room for a few hours a day to let me get some sleep.  After considering this I thought about how nice it would be to have her take Lucy one night every week for just a few hours to give MH and I some time to refresh without a baby screaming purple faced at us for 8 hours almost non stop.  The issue is that even though I trust her and don't think she would do anything malicious, I can't help but wonder how she (or anyone) would deal with a colicky baby that isn't theirs.  Heck, there are some days where I need to just put Lucine in her bassinet while she is just screaming her head off while I go out on the back porch and take deep breaths and pace around for 5 minutes and I'm her mother . . . I have these nightmares that I get someone to watch her and they call me up to say they lost it and shook her or some horrific thing! 

Am I being ridiculous?  Is anyone else struggling with letting someone (even family members) watch their baby?

wamam027

We had my mom watch DD a few nights ago when she was only 10 days old for a few hours. DH was gone for 3 months, is home for 7 weeks, and deploys for 8 months in a few more weeks so my mom gave us the opportunity to go out for a date night while she was here for a little while helping with the baby and helping around the house. It was difficult, but I trust my mom and know that if anything were to go south or if she was having a hard time she would be honest and call me. If your husband's daughter were to get overly frustrated with Lucine would she feel comfortable/would you trust her to call you and let you know she's in over her head? Maybe try the having her over while you rest for a few hours route for a bit and see how that goes, if you're happy and if she seems to be handling Lucine well then maybe you can ask if she'd feel comfortable taking her for a night so you and your husband can get some time together? You're not being crazy, trusting somebody with your child is huge, and it's very scary; let alone having a colicky baby and trusting her in someone else's hands. 

mcb2016

I completely understand this. My first was not an easy baby, toddler or child! I rarely left him because of the same fears. When we did find someone who offered to watch him I straight up told her how difficult he was and what to expect screaming and crying wise. I let her know at anytime she could call us back and we'd be home quickly because we understood how hard it could be. I know she thought we were being crazy first time parents but after she had him a few hours she totally understood where we were coming from!

I would give the daughter a chance to watch her even for just a short period of time to see how it goes. 

lionstigersbears

Everything they said! I would add that I think it'd be really validating to specifically talk to whoever watches Lucine about what you do when you're overwhelmed. Let them know the best thing you can do is lay her somewhere safe and walk away because she will be okay and the person caring for her needs to be okay too...sometimes that means gathering yourself for a minute!

LadySamLady

I agree with everyone! I think it would be so good for you to get a break to rest and clear your mind a bit that it is definitely worth a trial run. As long as your stepdaughter is aware of Lucine's challenges and knows to call you if she feels in over her head, it sounds like it could really work out. I'm happy to hear that your H is at least trying to problem solve with you and I really hope it means that he is being more supportive. Keep us posted! 

DanandVan

If it was me, I would only be comfortable with having her watch baby while I was in the next room, but consider what you feel comfortable with.
My 1st had horrible colic from 3 weeks to 3 months old, and it finally clicked "oh, THIS is why shaken baby syndrome exists". I'm thankful I had the peace of mind not to harm my baby, but I totally understand, you NEED a break. Bring in someone fresh who can give you that break for an hour or so. And if you are in the next room, I think your presence would prevent the sitter from feeling overwhelmed  (knowing she can get you if/when she can't handle baby any longer).
I am so sorry you are dealing with colic. It will end one day and you will be left with a beautiful smiling baby! 

camillaandcarson

Could you try having her there while you are until you feel comfortable enough to leave? (or not if you don't feel comfortable but still feel comfortable enough for her to be there while you are.)
Don't worry if it may take a few times of watching for very short time periods while you are there for you to feel comfortable building up to larger chunks of time or even alone if you feel comfortable with that.
This is your baby, you know her best as her mom, so trust in your mom instincts. 

Kurrant

It really is a horrible thought but I had it as well.  Its devastating but I can see how it happens. If I grown person was carrying on like this I would grab them by the shoulders give them a good shake or slap them and yell "GET A GRIP!"  As an example of a crappy day...today Lucy woke at 6:30 for breakfast. I finally got her calm and sleeping at 2pm. That's insane! 

I think we might try having her over with Lucy in the living room while I catch some Zzzzs. I will feel more comfortable knowing she's close by.  This is all assuming she wants to do this! I know she is looking for part time nanny work, so she has time on her hands, but who wants to watch a screaming baby?!