TGIF check-in! May 20 — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

TGIF check-in! May 20

Happy Friday! What's everyone up to this weekend?

Doing anything fun? Making babies? Traveling? Cleaning your home?  Working?

Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend, we all deserve it!


Re: TGIF check-in! May 20

  • We have company coming over for lunch tomorrow, so I need to figure out what exactly lunch will be and purchase some supplies. Otherwise it looks like the weather is going to be good, so likely lots of outside time and relaxation. I just started a new book (Everything I Never Told You) too, so hoping to fit in some reading time. 
  • DH is on a work trip and won't be home until late Saturday night. We won't be doing anything but baby making because I'm starting my fertile week! His work always seems to send him out of town during my FW. At least we have been able to be creative and sneak it in when we can. I am a huge planner nerd and plan on making some stickers with my cutting machine and my MIL invited me over for food some time this weekend so I will go hang out with them and see their puppy. 

    @BornReady I'm looking forward to the nice weather too! I can't wait to get my new house so that I can actually do things outside at my own home. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    rainbowturtles
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  • We are headed up to where DH is from for wedding over the long weekend, Victoria BC. Really looking forward to the wedding but this has been one of the weekends I have dreaded most since our MMC. Tomorrow was supposed to be our baby shower with our Canadian family and friends and it is a huge milestone that has been looming as a constant reminder. I wanted to be pregnant again by now atleast and instead I'm getting RPL labs and adding more pills to my 26 a day supplement regiment. On top of that we are staying with SIL and their 7 month old (accident BC baby they almost aborted) who would have been only 11 months older than ours. I haven't met him yet, the were supposed to visit the week of my d&c and I couldn't handle it. 

    i know everyone will be asking when we will be having kids and the "I'm in the middle of work up for back to back losses" just doesn't go over well in casual conversation. 

    Thankfully my MIL and SIL are taking me to a spa day today and I'm hoping I can keep it together enough for 4 days. FW starts next week so giving the ovaries a pep talk this weekend 
    Me: 30     DH: 31
    Married: 11.12.11
    TTC: Nov 2015
    BFP #1: 1.22.16                 MMC: 2.29.16 ( tetrasomy 11, partial deletion 1, XXX)
    D&C: 3.2.16
    BFP #2: 4.14.16                 CP: 4.17.16
    BFP #3: 6.10.2016             CP: 6.17.2016
    RE appt: 6.27.2016- saline sono all clear
    Chromosome karyotype- Normal both me and DH
    Progenity: + carrier Tay-Sachs, Gaucher's, hemachromatosis. DH: carrier Alpha 1 anti-trypsin
    Clomid + TI Cycle #1: pending  8.15.16
    Fur mom to 2 sled masters: an Alaskan malamute and a malamute wolf hybrid 
    half marathon running, surgery loving trauma hand and reconstructive plastic surgery PA-C
    PCOS, hypothyroid, MTHFR, hx of LEEP in 2006

  • @SnobunnieMel I hope you can find ways to be gentle with yourself and get through that weekend.  The spa day sounds nice, at least!

    I got an impulse haircut last night (why not?) and so I'm going to get some new hair products/accessories and play around with it.  I have pretty curly hair that was down to between my shoulder blades and now it is a mid-length inverted bob, which is fun. 

    I'm going to take the dog to the park, hopefully with DH if he can walk that much (we will see) and we are going to fix a hole the dog dug in the yard before our landlord comes to repair some stuff this summer.  We're also planning a trip to the farmer's market for some pepper plants, flowers, and general produce.  We didn't do the CSA this year but that farm has awesome mushrooms at the market all the time, so I'm excited.

    Otherwise, I am going to start looking at new running shoes since mine gave up the ghost this week and have sharp bits now.  Any suggestions are welcome if people have ones they love.


  • dubcompaniondubcompanion
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited May 2016
    @SnobunnieMel Hope you have a good weekend, even if it might get tough. Soak up that spa time! :smile: 

    My FW starts at the beginning of next week, so DH and I will be a couple of BD-maniacs this weekend. Poor guy has no idea what's comin' for him. :wink: 

    Speaking of H, he has a guys' night tonight, so my best friend and I (whose H is also part of the posse) are going to kick it lazy style, binging on rom-coms and popcorn.

    We are also in the midst of sketching out a custom, built-in bookshelf around our fireplace. DH's father is a woodworker and loves having projects to do for fun, so we're hoping to be able to store all of our DVDs and video games in a more "grown-up" manner - and slowly replace our IKEA/Target furniture!

    Edited, because I can't English today.

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
  • @SnobunnieMel, I hope your trip goes well!

    My FW is starting this weekend, I suspect I'll ovulate Wednesday so I am hoping for some BD. I am going to do OPKs starting this weekend. I'm currently on CD12.

    I have book club tonight so I am looking forward to that! I really enjoyed the book- The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. It's a biography and has a ton of science stuff in it, neither of which I would ever choose on my own, but I loved it. I like how book clubs force me out of my normal selections.

    Tomorrow I am hoping to get out in the garden and sow more seeds.

    Sunday is church then a picnic in the park. We are finally supposed to be getting consistent beautiful weather so I am hoping to spend much of the weekend outside.

    I hope everyone has a great weekend!

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
  • edited May 2016
    @BornReady I hope you have a nice lunch tomorrow and lots of relaxing reading time!

    @MooFish2364 Enjoy the BDing!

    @SnobunnieMel I'm sorry you will have to navigate through such a social minefield this weekend. I hope you have a relaxing spa day and that nothing is especially triggering or awkward for you. Hugs!

    @mandi135 I also got a fun bob done last month! Hope your hubby is on the mend now. I don't know what your "running style" is, or how your feet are, but I can only use one type of show, the Asics Gel Flux line. They aren't too terribly expensive ($65-75ish?) and they hug my high arches. I LURVE them. If you've never been to a running shop, that might be the way to go. You'll spend some $$ but they can find you the best fit, determine if you're a "pronator" or "supinator," etc. Overall most of my running friends recommend Asics, you just have to find the right kind for you. In fact, I have a pair I wear for work and my feet are never sore.

    @dubcompanion I hear you on the more "grown up" stuff. In fact, that's part of my weekend plans....

    Today, I'm a little nervous. I'm having a meeting to discuss a temporary second job where I work. I already have the position, but we have to discuss salary and hours and such. I've never had to negotiate that kind of thing, so I hope I don't crack under pressure. Oy. I have been looking forward to a little extra work. My current work schedule gives me many days off since my workdays are long, and that gives me too much time to lament about TTC and my losses. I need the distraction, and the $ won't hurt, either. Tonight we are meeting friends for happy hour, so I hope I have good news!!!

    Tomorrow, DH and I are going to lay some serious cash down at the furniture store. We have a bedroom set picked out and a home office getup for me. I'm a little nervous about the pricetag, but in the long run, these are quality pieces that will last decades. We currently have an empty office room and are using super old hand-me-down bedroom furniture from the 70's that we've had since we've been married. I'm so excited! Good thing I'm gunning for a second job....

    Sunday is going to be a church day and probably some more home project stuff going on. I hope to get a couple long runs in with the nice weather over the weekend, too.

    I'm so looking forward to this weekend to refresh and regroup! I had a horrible week on a personal level. To make a long story short, MIL in a roundabout way ended up sharing our story of two losses with people who we semi-know without our permission (after being told to absolutely not tell anyone). And, if we didn't find out when we did, potentially a whole lot more people would have found out, too. It was awful. MIL and FIL think that we are stupid for not telling the world because we are "isolating ourselves." I hate having to explain over and over that we have told the friends and family we trust, and that we don't want to be under everyone's scrutiny constantly about whether we are pregnant again or not, especially DH's and I's coworkers. MIL and FIL are making this about them to some extent. I know they "mean well," but it simply is not their story to tell. MIL has basically sealed the deal that she will not find out when we are pregnant again until probably when I start to show (God willing if that ever happens). Ugh. Sorry for the novel and long rant, guys.

    Edit because I can't spell
  • @Wishilivedinflorida Ugh! What is up with the in-laws?! I would be the exact same way in that they would not know until I started to show. You are not isolating yourselves by not wanting to share everyone the news about your loss. All you need is support by those who care about you and that's all that matters. For some people, it's only their spouse. For others, it might be their entire Facebook feed. And that's fine! Sorry, I'm ranty today. I think your MIL struck a nerve. :wink: Anyway, I feel ya. Good luck on negotiations!

    @MWoodside I heard about Henrietta Lacks' story on one of my favorite podcasts. Considering it's not your usual cup of tea and you liked it, it sounds like a great book! I'll have to add it to my summer reading list. :smile: 

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
  • @Wishilivedinflorida sorry to hear about your blabbing in-laws. DH and I actually told just our parents about our last pregnancy and asked them not to say anything until after first tri...wouldn't you know that night I got a congratulations call from my grandmother. Ugh.

    This weekend I'm traveling out of state for a bridal shower, what a refreshing change from the oh-so-dreaded baby shower. And then I'm headed back to the school I just "retired" from to watch a couple of my basketball players graduate :smile: 

    I'm on cycle day 29 right now and crossing my fingers to have a "normal" 35 day cycle instead of a 50 day one like last cycle. I'm jealous of all you ladies with BDing all weekend plans!  @MWoodside ;@MooFish2364 @dubcompanion ENJOY!
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

    dubcompanion
  • Hope everyone has a great time getting their relations in this weekend. We need a lot of successful graduations this month so hump it hard. I will be a ghost this weekend, being ou of the country gets me time away from phone. I'll see everyone next week 


    Me: 30     DH: 31
    Married: 11.12.11
    TTC: Nov 2015
    BFP #1: 1.22.16                 MMC: 2.29.16 ( tetrasomy 11, partial deletion 1, XXX)
    D&C: 3.2.16
    BFP #2: 4.14.16                 CP: 4.17.16
    BFP #3: 6.10.2016             CP: 6.17.2016
    RE appt: 6.27.2016- saline sono all clear
    Chromosome karyotype- Normal both me and DH
    Progenity: + carrier Tay-Sachs, Gaucher's, hemachromatosis. DH: carrier Alpha 1 anti-trypsin
    Clomid + TI Cycle #1: pending  8.15.16
    Fur mom to 2 sled masters: an Alaskan malamute and a malamute wolf hybrid 
    half marathon running, surgery loving trauma hand and reconstructive plastic surgery PA-C
    PCOS, hypothyroid, MTHFR, hx of LEEP in 2006

    dubcompanionchloe97BornReadyMooFish2364
  • @SnobunnieMel enjoy your trip! Hopefully the spa day is relaxing and the rest is not too stressful.

    @mandi135 I second the running store evaluation. Made a huge difference for me! Found out I like Mizunos best, which I had never heard of prior. 

    I'm on call until Tuesday morning before back to my other job, so just sitting around waiting for the phone to ring, drinking coffee, going on some runs, and stalking the boards ;-). Good luck to all BD-ers, and have a fabulous weekend all!!
    Me: 39 DH: 39
    CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
  • Much love to all of you; I'd like to respond to each of you as I enjoy reading each one but I'm in the car and that makes it a little harder  :/

    So we were supposed to be going up to DH's parents this weekend which I was kind of dreading but also just wanting to get it over with; the stress buildup sucks. And I spent all day yesterday in the kitchen making meals for myself for the weekend because I have celiac disease (and made a delicious caramel sauce for the MIL). But we're not going because the weather network is calling for rain.

    I'd be more excited except that means we're going to ikea today because the kitchen in our new place needs redoing. Which now makes me laugh that several of you are getting rid of your ikea stuff for more "grown up" stuff lol It's just really frustrating because it's a rental and the landlords are paying for it but it seems like we have to do all the work and they're so hard to get a hold of and haven't given us any money up front or a budget or anything. I'm finding it incredibly stressful and overwhelming but trying my best to help DH. I just want it done. Going to try hard to avoid a squabble today!

    on top of that I have chronic pain issues so the long drive is quite painful for me.

    But I'll stop complaining now lol On the positive side I look darned cute today haha And I get to avoid the pregnant SIL a little longer. And maybe DH will let me hit a gluten free bakery on the way ;) 

    Wish me luck!!!!
    Sending luck and love and light to all of you <3






  • @rainbowturtles Oh goodness, I LOVE IKEA!! That's why we own a bunch of their stuff! :smiley: We have a lot of their build-it-yourself stuff and "easy storage" stuff (i.e. bins). We don't own the items they proudly display in the store, lol. That's why I'm hoping we upgrade some things. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel badly for going there or anything. I look forward to the next IKEA trip we make when we're in the twin cities. We'll get more stuff, and I'll be like, "Gah! We're trying to GET RID of this. What are we doing!" It's a vicious cycle, haha. Again, so sorry!

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
    rainbowturtles
  • I work this weekend and DH is photographing another wedding tomorrow so nothing much will be going on. I had the past 5 days off with lots of time for baby making but have no idea what my cycle is doing and if I had good timing. Will see what happens in the next week or so if AF shows...or not.
    Me: 35      DH: 35
    Married: 8/16/2014
    TTC 6/2015
    BFP #1: 1/2016, MMC 3/2016 (9 weeks)
    BFP #2: 6/2016, DD born 3/1/17 at 39 weeks 1 day 
    BFP #3: 1/2019, CP (4 weeks 1 day)
    BFP #4: 4/2019, Due 12/10/19


  • DH and I are still struggling - my goal this weekend is to talk to a friend about our issues in person as a stop gap to when I see a social worker on Wednesday (she's more of a therapist) and then maybe get a referral to someone closer in town that is a therapist that can help. 

    We're doing marginally better today - but I'm feeling like we should self-bench. I can't make the decision myself - but bringing up the topic is not an option for at least a few more days. I think I still have that buffer time - and will skip starting OPKs this month at the very least. The stress I'm feeling may delay O this month - but I've never had that before - the stress has always come after O... 

    Tonight he made plans for us with some coworkers - and normally I'd be excited, but the thought of meeting new people while feeling so stressed isn't my idea of a good time. Laser spin class or something - and then a movie. Tomorrow time with a friend and yoga class. Monday is a holiday so I'll find time to see the friend again. 

    Sorry to be a downer - I'm really struggling.
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • @dubcompanion oh goodness, no, I wasn't offended or anything just thought it was sort of funny ☺️ We're literally just buying cabinets and cupboards and it's the most affordable option; we had to tear ours out due to mold and bugs (YUCK, that was a fun find but so glad we found it BEFORE we moved in).

    It actually went okay, not as stressful as I thought. I think I counted at least three baby bumps, tho  :/

    Now I'm just starving and unfortunately DH isn't being super accommodating.....don't they know they need to keep us fed??!!!! 




  • @rainbowturtles Hehe, I get it now. :blush: It must have been ironic to be heading to IKEA and people are mentioning it! 
    Yeah, I keep trying to train my brain to not look out for baby bumps... Pretty hard
    to do though. :neutral: 

    @catiecatp I'm the same - if I'm stressed and feeling down, I'm not in the mood to meet new people. It's super hard to muster the desire to get to know them and to be sociable. Hoping you have some time to relax and decompress during your long weekend. 

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
    rainbowturtles
  • @catiecatp I'm so so sorry you are stressed and struggling. I hope you can find a good path forward with your DH. If you ever need to talk, we're all here for you, either on a thread or by PM. Hugs!
  • Aera11Aera11
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Photogenic
    member
    We have kind of a busy weekend.  I ran a ton of errands today for a mini-bachelorette party a few friends and I are throwing tomorrow.  DH and I grabbed drinks and Mexican...it was nice and relaxing, especially since we could sit outside and enjoy the weather.

    Tomorrow I am gone all day for the bachelorette festivities and then DH and the other SO's will join us at night for dinner/boating around a friends lake.  

    Sunday we were supposed to go to a concert of DH's client but he has soccer so we are skipping...so I will be planted on the couch with Me Before You (a friend just finished reading it and passed it along).  

    I am feeling better...yesterday was my first due date and I managed to make it through the day without crying once.  There was definitely a sadness within but we had dinner with some good friends and their baby (they are also pregnant), but it was surprisingly ok.  I had a small panicky feeling and started to think this may never happen for us, but today was better.

    @catiecatp I am sorry you're having a rough time.  I hope you are able to at least enjoy your time out tonight and tomorrow with your friend.  Struggling with your SO/DH is never easy.  Sending you lots of hugs and hoping tomorrow is better for you.






  • @mwoodside I love the Henrietta Lacks book too! Totally amazing and such an interesting glimpse into medical research. 

    @SnobunnieMel Happy travels! I'm sorry it's such a crappy milestone, but I hope you are able to enjoy the time away and being phone free. I'll be sending you some good vibes. 

    @rainbowturtles I love IKEA cabinets! They are beautiful. My H and I renovated our kitchen and put in something else and every time we go to IKEA we lament that we didn't use them. We live in an old small house with limited storage and they just are so clever with how they organize storage space it would have been smarter for us. Plus who doesn't love walking through IKEA, have fun!

    @wishilivedinflorida I'm sorry about your in laws. Not cool.

    @aera11 Your outside drink and Mexican sounds amazing. Hope you take care of you this weekend. 

    @catiecatp I'm so sorry about the stress with DH. I hope your friend has some love and wisdom for you and that things with DH get better each day. I've said it before, but nothing has challenged my relationship more than TTC, loss and infertility. It's a challenging time and just adds so much stress to every other problem we deal with in relationships.



  • edited May 2016
    @rainbowturtles I love the ikea kitchen stuff. When we were looking for our houses secretly was hoping we would find one that needed a kitchen reno for that reason, but we ended up finding one with a redone kitchen (sigh). Hope your landlord gives you some direction soon! 

    @catiecatp I have been thinking about you. I'm so sorry you and DH are going through this stressful time. I don't know that I have anything profound to say, but I hope you both can come to a resolution soon. 

    @Aera11 I'm sorry about your due date being here. It's inevitable for all of us, but I wish it didn't have to be. I'm glad to hear you made it through ok. 

    Thanks to to all of you for your kind comments about my IL situation. Now, it's getting weirder....

    Neither of us have spoke to my in-laws since the night of the original incident. Out of the blue yesterday, an old friend of my MIL (that we haven't spoke to since our wedding 8 years ago!) called my husband at his workplace. She started crazy rambling about a "ministry opportunity" that she "knows would be perfect for him" because she "knows what he's being called to do in life." Said ministry opportunity is a one year training program in SWEDEN, followed by settling in AFRICA. What?! Furthermore, she starts saying he should come to where she lives (about a 2 hour drive away) for an informational meeting, and that she "knows his work hours and his day off, so it would work out perfectly." 

    First off, this would lead me to believe MIL set this up or was at least talking about DH's life to this friend. How would she know his work schedule? Second, neither of us have ever expressed interest in missions work, plus we have a mortgage, I'm in a binding job contract, etc, etc. Third, we never talk to this woman, so how does she know what would be "perfect" for DH?! I just can't wrap my head around this one. DH politely told her to email him details and then he will ignore said email. I told DH it sounds like a scam anyway

    Edit: tried to gif on mobile and it was a miserable failure
  • Thanks ladies - last night was good and this morning was great - which is confusing because we haven't talked about the elephant in the room. I'm holding off on talking a bit because I have nothing new to add and am enjoying the mental break. We'll make it through - I just don't see the way out yet
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






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