February 2016 Moms
kinnonam
member
Coping with becoming a SAHM vent
kinnonam
member
First and for most not to knock any SAHM, I just never thought it would be me. Me and hubby budged out everything for day care and work. Until hubby decided that we will be fine with one income so I can stay at home.
I always planned on being a working mom, I like the idea of us being on even ground. I feel like being at home all of the house duties fall solely on me. Being expected to take care of baby, dog, keep house cleaned, cook dinner and just all around be a homemaker drives me insane. I've been working since I was 15 I don't know how to be at home.
Im going stir crazy, I have no idea what to day on a day to day basis. We go for walks, do a mini circuit in the house; bouncer, Boppy, tummy and nap. But I can see that he needs more stimulation. I've looked into mom groups but I have no idea where to start. I just needed to vent I feel like I can't be alone.
I always planned on being a working mom, I like the idea of us being on even ground. I feel like being at home all of the house duties fall solely on me. Being expected to take care of baby, dog, keep house cleaned, cook dinner and just all around be a homemaker drives me insane. I've been working since I was 15 I don't know how to be at home.
Im going stir crazy, I have no idea what to day on a day to day basis. We go for walks, do a mini circuit in the house; bouncer, Boppy, tummy and nap. But I can see that he needs more stimulation. I've looked into mom groups but I have no idea where to start. I just needed to vent I feel like I can't be alone.
Re: Coping with becoming a SAHM vent
As for getting out, I agree with finding moms groups. There are sometimes baby and me music/play classes, yoga, etc that you can meet others at, and sometimes churches will have a young parents group. When our LOs are a little older, swim classes can be fun, too.
And as far as LO needing more stimulation - it's more likely that you are the one that needs the simulation! They are so little right now, easy to please, but boring. Just remember that this stage doesn't last very long! In a few short months, you'll be chasing baby around, cleaning Cheerios out of the carpet, able to play with toys, cooking baby meals, etc. I remember feeling bored with my first at this stage but being sheepish about saying it because I did genuinely love it at the same time. Time will fly and there will be much more to do.
My husband and I will both do 4-day work weeks starting in mid-July. Baby will go to daycare 3 days a week. Not sure if something like that is an option for you? It depends on whether your employers are willing to be flexible. It's ideal for me, because:
(1) we'll stay on equal footing financially and career-wise,
(2) we both get our own day with the LO for bonding,
(3) 4 days of work + 3 days off per week sounds like a good work/life balance in general anyways, and
(4) LO gets to hang out with other people 3 days a week - I think he'll have fun! He will likely be at this daycare until he's 4 years old (that's when kids start regular school here), so he will probably be close to his providers there and make some good friends.
In any case, I agree with @mrscammack. I feel so much better on days I see other people or have something I have to go and do with baby. Ideally just small visits or walking with another mom/baby duo...it makes me feel human and like I've DONE something worthwhile that day. Laundry, cleaning, etc. is so boring. I hate it. And when I'm alone with my son the whooole day, I have to admit I get a little bored/restless with that as well.
ETA: Going back to work will help me appreciate the special time I have alone with the baby. Taking care of him is a lot of work, but he's my little treasure.
Do what makes you feel sane and like yourself, even if its going back to work. If your not sure, try part time if its available. I've been a SAHM for about a yr and a half now, after my daughter turned a yr old. The dynamics changed now that there's another baby but just a couple things that help.
I've found that everyone does better if I get everyone ready for the day, myself included, before we go into the living room and kitchen for breakfast. I take my showers at night so my hubby can watch them. Try to get out of the house everyday, even if its just taking outgrown baby clothes to consignment or the library has great storytimes to go to for the kids. Every month, make a master to-do list of things you never remember to do, like washing the vacuum filters, dusting all your perfume bottles, organizing all the baby photos, whatever. There's no rush cause you have a whole month to get it done but at least it helps you feel more productive other than only doing the same everyday stuff.
And remember that your job as a SAHM is just as important as your hubby's. He brings home money but you feed, clean, entertain, discipline (when they get older), and educate your kid(s) and still keep the house from falling apart. Can he do all that as well as you can?