Weekly PGAL check in - 5.16.16

ceclarlinetlo

This is a weekly thread for those of us who are pregnant after experiencing loss of any stage (chemical, miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal) to support one another. 

Please introduce your self if this is your first time participating. 

Good of luck to those of us with appointments this week: 

5/16/16: @cjs260 , @thepax89 , @briala
5/17/16: @lj623

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating)

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

4. When is your first or next appointment? 

5. Rants/raves/whatever 

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?

ceclarlinetlo

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Mildly sore BBs, short bouts of fatigue, occasional food aversion but no nausea.  All very mild to the point that I sort of wonder if I am making them up or that they are unrelated to baby. When ever something tastes gross I have someone else taste it to make sure they think it tastes good lol.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
It comes and goes. In general I'm able to be excited and I've even started using Pinterest to day dream a little. Every now and then I get really worried that I'll have another blighted ovum and that's when the anxiety really hits. 

4. When is your first or next appointment? 

June 1

5. Rants/raves/whatever 

this is is a rave and a rant. I used the clear blue weeks estimator and I progressed from 1-2 to 2-3 to 3+ on schedule so that's nice. The rant is that I am out of options to track progression myself so I just have to wait until June 1

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?

When I was in 3rd grade I saved up and bought 2 at the same time. The space jam sound track and Celine Dion's falling into you lol. 

cjs260

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
Morning sickness is really ramping up into all day sickness. I haven't thrown up yet, but sometimes I think I would feel better if I could. Otherwise, just the typical, sore breasts, bad gas, mood swings. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
It comes and goes in waves. I'm extremely anxious this morning before my u/s this afternoon. 

4. When is your first or next appointment? 
U/s this afternoon, nurse history immediately after. OB appointment first thing in the morning tomorrow.

5. Rants/raves/whatever 
I'm just nervous, that's about it. BUT I did go for a 4 mile walk yesterday to clear my head, it was energizing and kept my MS at bay for an hour. I'll definitely be utilizing that again in the near future. 

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?
So, the first CD that was bought for me, was Deanna Carter "Did I shave my legs for this?" when I was around 8. But the first CD I bought for myself, like drove myself to Walmart immediately after getting my driver's license, was Hawthorne Heights "If only you were lonely". Vast change in 8 years, haha! 

ceclarlinetlo

@cjs260 I'll be thinking about you and your bean today! Sucks that you have to wait for the afternoon Also I totally forgot about Deanna Carter! I used to be obsessed with Strawberry Wine! 

LoneStar21416

1. Intro: I'm here after two losses over the last year (MMC at 11 weeks, natural miscarriage at 5 weeks), RPL testing, and then a removal of a uterine septum. It's been a long, trying year. I'm happy to be here and meet you all. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms): I don't have too many symptoms. I wake up starving, and super gassy, which in turn makes me a little nauseous. As soon as I eat I feel much better. I will have other random waves of nausea, but it is inconsistent and not all that bothersome. I feel exhausted, but I don't know if that is just life

3. How are you feeling (anxiety): We saw a flicker of a heartbeat last week, which helped tremendously after some early spotting. I am still having a hard time, as I don't really feel too pregnant and my first pregnancy really destroyed me after seeing the heartbeat and going back in 3 weeks and not seeing it. It is hard for me to relax and not assume it won't stop again. I am trying to practice being present and remind myself that a major hurdle for me maintaining a pregnancy has been corrected. 

4. Next appointment: I will go back around 10 weeks for another ultrasound (I am just at 7 weeks today).

5. Rants/raves/whatever: I don't have too much else beyond what I wrote above. Just trying to stay positive!

6: GTNY, what is the first CD you ever bought? I don't know if I "bought" it myself, but the first CD I ever owned was Weezer's the Blue Album back in elementary school. 

@cjs260 good luck!!

Becid24

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating)
Hi I'm Becki, 37 and mother of 3 kids here on earth a 16, 7 & 5 yr old and I've experienced 2 losses in the last 10 months. A Mmc at 8w4d in Oct beautiful baby but no heartbeat at ultrasound and a chemical pregnancy in Jan. My husband did not want anymore children and I've Ben very much struggling with that and this month somehow I ovulated very early and here we are. He's coming around to it but this is the last time I will be pregnant. A permanent fix will be put in place. 
2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I've had sore nipples, and all day nausea with extreme fatigue. Today I woke up and vomitted for the first time. I have low progesterone so I have to take prometrium and that makes my symptoms worse the dr said. 
3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
I'm am so nervous. I keep trying to tell myself today I'm pregnant but some days it's much harder than others. My first beta came back good but almost too good. It was 13300 and now I'm nervous it could be a molar pregnancy:( I'm waiting to hear back on my second draw from Friday. 
4. When is your first or next appointment? 
Still waiting to hear from my ob on my second beta results so I can schedule my 1st ultrasound for my 8th week. Which wouldn't be until June 9th
5. Rants/raves/whatever 
I really wish the dr office would call, I'm dying waiting. We haven't told anyone and I need to talk when my kids are at school so they don't over hear my calls. 
6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?
I'm sorry we are all in this group but thankful that we can help each other thru. 

DR OFFICE CALLED MY NUMBER IS 23000, they said that's good and scheduled my first ultrasound for 8w4d per LmP on June 9. So now I worry until that day arrives. 

LJ623

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
This weekend was tough for me - threw up Saturday morning and then overnight Saturday into Sunday, I woke from a dead sleep and starting throwing up...Thank GOD for DH because I didn't quite make it to the bathroom to begin with.  Since then, just really queasy/nauseous...I was so nervous to eat yesterday because I didn't want a repeat, but so far I haven't needed to throw up again...

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
Still feeling okay...but definitely getting more nervous as I approach tomorrow's appointment.  I hope that once I see the sac (maybe a hb since I believe I'm 6w3d??) I will relax a little...but unfortunately since my mmc was later in the first trimester, I think I'll only get more nervous as we approach that time...

4. When is your first or next appointment? 
Tomorrow I have an U/S and appointment with my RE.  Depending on how things go, I'll either be released to my OB or will need to schedule one more U/S with her before I get released to the OB...

5. Rants/raves/whatever 
Today is dragging by!! Not only is it Monday, but I'm so anxious for my appointment tomorrow and I swear the clock just won't move!!

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought? The first CD I ever bought for myself was Mariah Carey's "Daydream..."

nan814

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating)  Hello! I'm a 30 year old mom to 3 babies here on earth and 1 angel baby born on 1.28.14 at 19w3d.  My rainbow baby is about 15 months old now!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Totally normal.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I was doing pretty good, mostly in shock as this was not a planned pregnancy and the last 2 were very, VERY planned and worked for!  But then last night I had a loss dream, so I guess it's starting to sink in.

4. When is your first or next appointment? It's supposed to be on Thursday but I'm considering calling to reschedule just because it's still pretty early in the pregnancy.

5. Rants/raves/whatever: Nada yet.

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought? Backstreet Boys

GhanimaAtreides

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Sore boobs when I stand up in the morning and remove a bra, general gagginess, and could use a nap every afternoon.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Because I sort of unrealistically think I can keep it under wraps until September, I keep having to tell myself I'm pregnant. Took my kids to the indoor water park and hopped in the hot tub. It didn't even occur to me until I saw the sign on the wall that "oh yeah dummy, that's you. The pregnant one. No longer than 10min, ok?"

4. When is your first or next appointment? No idea except around 8 weeks, the website for the doc I chose said they do an u/s then. Everything is still processing through insurance, and I slowed the process a little by just telling my family doc to make the referral to the hospital I wanted to deliver at instead of a specific doc. Called insurance and gave them a specific doc after researching a day or two.

5. Rants/raves/whatever I'm still lying down on the cool laminate from using my treadmill for the first time it arrived last week. Only a 30min walk on incline at 2mph, but my average pulse was 125bpm. So...incredibly...out...of...shape... It's disgusting. 

I think I tore something in my shoulder opening a stubborn window 2 days ago and luckily found the one bottle of Tylenol amid bottles and bottles of naproxen & ibprofen; been popping those religiously because it hurts to even drive, forget about sleeping on that side.

My husband has been riding this "is he going to deploy with the next unit in December for 9 months or isn't he" roller coaster for the last year or two. It's incredibly frustrating because they just fired two guys his rank off the deployment, so now he might get command-directed to go. He will likely miss the birth now.

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought? Aerosmith Get A Grip. You know, back when MTV played music videos they came out with a slew of ones for that album?

FINGERS CROSSED FOR ALL OUR LADIES WITH APPOINTMENTS THIS WEEK!!

curlysue22

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
Nothing major other than low back pain and having to pee all the time (isn't it early for that?).  Mood swings are getting real too.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
The low back pain is freaking me out.  I'm feeling nervous telling my family about the pregnancy.  I don't want to make a big deal of it, but am forcing myself to tell them this weekend because both of my sisters will be in town and that rarely happens.  It's silly but I don't want to shortchange this baby from a cool announcement just because I'm nervous about it.

4. When is your first or next appointment?
First will be Wed. 5/25 at 7w1d.  Do most of you get seen sooner or somehow get numbers?  The receptionist had no response when I mentioned that I had a loss so maybe that would move up the schedule.  She was a peach.

5. Rants/raves/whatever
In the tv shows I watched this weekend, there were 3 losses of pregnancies.  It was so disturbing to me.

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?
I remember it clearly - Ace of Base.

ceclarlinetlo

@curlysue22 I'll be 8weeks by LMP when I go but probably closer to 7 by ovulation. When I called to make my appointment I asked to come in when we would definitely should be able to see a heartbeat but not have to wait a day longer than I have to. 

curlysue22

@ceclarlinetlo thanks for the info!  I'm so eager to get affirmation from the doc that things are on the right track.

ThePax89

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating) I am 6+1 with my rainbow. My previous two pregnancies were lost at 5 and 10 weeks. Prior to those, I had a healthy pregnancy with my now 18 month old daughter. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) nauseous. Peeing a lot. Pregsomnia

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
I feel great...today. I had my first scan today and my baby is in the right place and I was able to hear the heartbeat. I'm so relieved and can now embrace this pregnancy fully. 

4. When is your first or next appointment? I have my 8 week scan scheduled for 5/31. 15 days from now. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever. Weird question...I haven't had sex since I ovulated. I'm terrified that if I so much as sneeze this baby will disappear. I have not received medical advice to abstain. Is everyone here having sex? 

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought? Spice girls "goodbye"

ceclarlinetlo

@ThePax89 congratulations!!! What a relief to see a heartbeat. Enjoy today and we will be here to support if your anxiety creeps back up! 

DH and I are not abstaining but he is under strict orders by me to be very gentle and careful, and if I start spotting we will wait until after my appointment. 

ThePax89

@curlysue22 I called demanding an early scan and blood tests because I'm terrified 

LJ623

@ThePax89 - that's great news! Glad you're appointment went well

I haven't had sex either since my BFP...I am also too anxious and I don't want to take any chances (although I know it's irrational!!)...thankfully my DH is just as nervous about it and has been really understanding!

@curlysue22 - in my case (and I'm sure some others), I have been seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist for fertility issues for almost 3 years, which is why I have the early blood work and appointments.  It's actually unrelated to my previous loss...

RocksInTheWater

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Over the weekend I was feeling a tugging, heavy feeling in my lower abdomen.  This morning came the backache.  Other than that, nothing.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) At last week's check-in I wasn't anxious but that certainly has changed!  I just want this pregnancy to work out so much.  I don't know how many more times I can go through this.  

4. When is your first or next appointment? I'm going in to the lab tomorrow for blood work.  

5. Rants/raves/whatever I just wish the school year was over so I don't have to try to be productive at work while worrying about this pregnancy.  I don't have the mental capacity to deal with a loss during this last month of school and I hate that my mindset is stuck on thinking this will be another loss.  

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?  Boyz II Men Cooleyhighharmony

GhanimaAtreides

@ThePax89 There is so much antidepressant and hormone goodness in baby batter that your body absorbs transvaginally I wouldn't ever want to pass that up short of being told medically not to (like when I had placenta previa for 2 months). Don't stress the post-orgasm cramping either (you normally cramp, you just don't feel it with a deflated uterus), it's really good for you and tones you up for labor. I've always had lots of sex preggo and my labors were 4hrs, 90min, and 80min from check-in to delivery. I'd like to think being active during pregnancy helped!

Plus, studies are coming out now saying regular sex/orgasms (even the self-induced ones) make you look 5-7 YEARS YOUNGER!
https://www.refinery29.com/2013/07/49988/sex-make-you-look-younger 

jecika85

Hi my name is Jessica. I am as of right now 5+5 weeks. I was told that my edd was Dec 23 but after an ultrasound last week my heart broke. There wasn't much to see. I talked to ob the next day and she set up another ultrasound for next Tuesday. She said they must have edd wrong. I'm exhausted from worrying for the past week. I lost a baby 4 years ago and that is always the fear in the back of my head. Hopefully ultrasound will ease worries but as of right now I'm kinda in between wanting to be excited and kinda numb to the fact. I have taken a preg test every 3-4 days and they have all been positive. Just playing the waiting game right now. 

curlysue22

@lj623 and @ThePax89, thanks for the feedback ladies.  

@jecika85, fingers crossed for you!  The waiting is unbearable.

nan814

@jecika85 fingers crossed! When was your first bfp? Would it make sense for your EDD to be moved back?

loveinak

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating): I am 5w today and this will be my second pregnancy. I lost my first last September at 12w, then had surgery to remove my uterine septum. I was benched until February of this year.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms): I feel like I have similar symptoms to those in this group. Swollen/painful boobs, some cramping, fatigue, irritability...

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise): I'm trying really hard to be positive and embrace being pregnant right now, but a random cramp or sound will happen and I'm convinced I'm MCing. I keep telling myself that I have no control and whatever will happen, will happen (which is hard for me to accept- but I'm trying).

4. When is your first or next appointment? First appointment is June 4th with the midwife I used last time.

5. Rants/raves/whatever: I'm just trying to ease in to the Jan17 board and may lurk a little more until I'm feeling less anxious.

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought? I bought three at once! Aqua, Chumbawamba, Sugar Ray

youngsondag

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating)
This is my second pregnancy. Had a MMC in January at 10w6d. This is thru my 5th IUI.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
So far no symptoms at all....just like my first. Had very few, if any, symptoms.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
Extremely anxious and paranoid. Not really sure what to do about that. I know it's not really healthy - but I can't seem to help it. We were absolutely crushed after the mc after trying for so long and the thought of having to go thru more IUI's didn't help matters. I refuse to really read anything or get too excited at this point - while still trying to maintain a positive attitude.

4. When is your first or next appointment? 
First u/s next Tuesday 5/24.

5. Rants/raves/whatever 
None yet - aside from the Anxiety.

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?
Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

jlinke926

1. This is my 4th pregnancy. I have had 3 miscarriages in the past 2 years. We have been seeing a specialist and have done some testing, taken meds to correct issues and we are hoping this is our sticky baby!!

2. I am feeling OK considering. Im super tired, I could sleep all day! Mt boobs are sore and I get waves of nausea throughout the day. Brushing my teeth is rough, that usually starts a gagging spree for a good few minutes every time. Ill take any of these symptoms if it means I can keep this baby growing!

3. I am extremely anxious! I worry about loosing this one every single second of every day!

4. First appointment is tomorrow at 8:15! Hoping to see a heartbeat since we have never seen one, but we know it is still early and we might not see it. 

5. REALLY hoping to see a heartbeat tomorrow!! Fingers crossed!!

6. TLC - Waterfalls!!

GhanimaAtreides

*mini vent*
I've taken a wondfo test at 12dpo, 15dpo, 18dpo, and again this morning at 21dpo. The line got slowly and progressively darker, not yet as dark at the control. My first 21dpo test was lighter than my 12dpo test!

So then I took a digi weeks estimator. It still says Pregnant 1-2. I'm 3wks to the day past ovulation.

Now I'm pretty panicked. I managed to get another sample to try another Wondfo. Finally this one is a touch lighter than control and still darker than the 18dpo one. My first Wondfo this morning was obviously a dud. It still doesn't explain the lack of progress on the weeks estimator. My beta was 62 at 13dpo, it should be over the estimators 1-2wk 200 beta threshold by now, right?

ThePax89

@GhanimaAtreides stop peeing on sticks and call your dr to get your hcg levels. 

ceclarlinetlo

@GhanimaAtreides I know it's easier said than done but try not to panic. I agreed with @ThePax89 I would call and ask for another blood test. 

rosenyc123

 1. About me: I'm Rose. We were trying for 10 months when I got pregnant in March. It ended at about 5 weeks or so, so basically a CP. found out I was pregnant again on May 2. Looking forward to a sticky bean

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Mildly sore BBs, short bouts of fatigue, rough time catching my breath during exercise and super occasional cramps. No nausea

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
 Super nervous. Each day I try to feel better but then I remember I'm so not out of the woods yet. Keep thinking about how much harder a miscarriage would be each day farther I get. My beta numbers were reassuring, but now I have nothing to reassure me for two weeks til my ultrasound 

4. When is your first or next appointment? 

June 3 

5. Rants/raves/whatever 

Clear blue weeks estimator is evil. It won't turn to 3+ even though I'm 25 DPO. I had my betas drawn at 21 DPO and they were around 1300, so not quite at the 2000+ level needed for 3+ weeks, and urine is obviously less concentrated than blood, but come on already! They are just pure evil. 

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?

Probably Boyz II Men!

jsl82

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating)
I participated last week- but haven't done an introduction.  I just feel weird doing an intro, when I know I could be leaving the group in a few weeks- but since we all have that fear I'll intro on these weekly posts until I feel confident this is my rainbow.  So here it goes...
I'm 34 years old, my husband is 37 years old and on Sunday we will have been married for 9 months.  This is our 3rd pregnancy.  I lost the first at 8 weeks and the second at 10 weeks.  Both were MMCs that we found out about at the NT scan.  I was very hesitant to try again, especially when my OB and the RE we saw both said there was not really anything they could do.  The RE seems to think that even though the genetic testing came back normal for my last MMC that they tested my tissue (the testing showed that it was female) and that the root cause has been genetic for both miscarriages.  He gave me a 75% chance of a successful pregnancy in my next two pregnancies.  I know it's suppose to be a comforting number... 75% sounds great... but it has done nothing to ease my anxiety.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I feel like the embryo is trying to kill me.  I am so nauseous.  Luckily I haven't throw up yet... but I feel like today could be the day.  I'm also exhausted since my bladder seems to be the half the size that is was 6 weeks ago and I know wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.   

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
Some days I'm fine... most days I'm worried.  I try to tell myself 3rd time is the charm- but then I also think that bad things and deaths happen in 3s.  

4. When is your first or next appointment? 
First appointment is Monday 5/23.  

5. Rants/raves/whatever 
I hate that my doctors office schedules the first ultrasound so early.  My anxiety is at a 5 right now... it's only going to get worse leading up to the 12 week mark.  I am probably going to have to pay out of pocket for another ultrasound around week 10 or 11 to calm my nerves.

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?  I honestly cannot remember.  I have read some of the post above and I know I had Mariah Carey, TLC, and Boyz II Men.  I just don't remember which I bought first  I had so many and they all had the blue lifetime guarantee sticker from The Wall.  

ThePax89

@LilLynch2015 yes! Third time is a charm is DH's mantra for this pregnancy. And I'm over here thinking bad things come in 3s. Hoping both of us get our double rainbow 

ceclarlinetlo

@thepax89 and @LilLynch2015 I'm right there with you guys. Maybe double rainbows for all of us will be something good that comes in threes. 

Edit to fix a typo. 

GhanimaAtreides

@ThePax89 and @ceclarlinetlo

My doc didn't even want to follow up with a second beta. At all.

ceclarlinetlo

@GhanimaAtreides I'm sorry that your doctor is brushing you off - that doesn't make any sense to me if you have a history of loss. Did they say why not? 

GhanimaAtreides

@ceclarlinetlo I think it's because my urine test didn't turn so he just wanted to confirm, but the nurse came in a few minutes later showing him the line on the cartridge test. He just said I was really early. When I asked, "Ok, so then I come back in 2 days to get a second reading..." and he shook his head no. Said it wasn't necessary.

I'm not even sure what insurance covers (it's military), they make it seem like until you have 3 consecutive losses, any extras you request is just being unnecessarily high maintenance and a PITA.

poetryandoceans

Hey everybody! Another week down

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I've mainly been feeling exhausted. Nausea is starting to creep in a little, so I'm right on track. But the pregnancy brain is real: I forgot my online bank password last night, after using it for 5 years. I forgot it so badly they locked me out because I tried too many times to get in. Which is all funny and hilarious, except for the fact that I have thesis revisions due in about a week and a half and I cannot think to save my life...

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
Tomorrow is the day in my last pregnancy that I miscarried, so my anxiety has been on the high side. I'm so thankful to my PCP doc who ordered standing 48 hr betas, because seeing those numbers steadily increase is the only thing keeping me from losing my mind at every cramp or twinge.

4. When is your first or next appointment? 
I have my first appointment with my midwife May 31, and my first US June 6. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever 
I just have to do a plug for acupuncture. I started doing it to get my body to regulate hormones after my loss, and I really feel like it did smooth that process. And there's all these great things you read about TTC and acupuncture. But I've been continuing to go since getting KTFU, and oh man, the tranquility it's brought me? I swear I'd be crawling out of my skin if it weren't for my blood draws and my acupuncture. I'm a really evidence based person, and I swear it's not just a placebo. So I just thought I'd float that to anyone who is looking for some ways to manage anxiety during this process.

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?
This is a tough one! I know the first CD I ever owned was The Fugees, but I think my dad bought it for me. Maybe Jagged Little Pill? My parents wouldn't buy that one because *gasp* it had swear words in it.

jecika85

@nan814 bfp was April 23. I had hormone levels above 3000. I have an ultrasound tomorrow because of cramping they want to see what it shows.

ceclarlinetlo

@ChristineO36 here is this weeks thread

susykat77

Hi Ladies!! I am late to the weekly check-in but I just got my fist beta so I decided to stop lurking and join! I'll hopefully catch up with where everyone is at over the next few days.

1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating) DH and I live in western Colorado. We've done 5 rounds of IVF with one MC and then decided to move onto donor eggs. This was our first donor transfer. We're both out-doorsy folks. I am looking forward to getting home and starting my garden and seeing my fur-baby Willie Nelson. He's a black standard poodle!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) - Feeling crampy and slightly sore boobs. I've been feeling shaky which has been weird. Trying to keep my blood sugar regulated and hoping that helps.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I have my moments. I am really trying to enjoy this pregnancy as last time I was a nervous wreck all the time! My beta today was 81 at 8dp5dt which is lower that my first pregnancy  on the same day that ended in MC. I am trying not to read too much into it! It is so hard!

4. When is your first or next appointment? Had beta today and I'll go in for repeat beta on Friday when I get home (I am in Prague right now and I fly home tomorrow)

5. Rants/raves/whatever  Happy to be pregnant!!

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought? I think it was Prince or Mariah Carry... both so different!! Ha!  

ChristineO36

1. Tell us about yourself.
Carlos and I live in the Hudson Valley, NY.  We met 18 years ago (I was 19, he was 23) and dated for two years.  He is the love of my life.  We always stayed friends but then started dating again 9 years ago.  We have been trying to get pregnant for a year and had a chemical pregnancy back in October so I'm really hoping this is it now.  I'm at 4 weeks. 
2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
I still have PMS symptoms.  I feel crampy and my breasts are a little sore.  I know this is TMI but I'm so incredibly gassy.  I find myself getting up two or three times during the night to use the restroom. 
3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
I'm very anxious.  I feel like I'm running to the bathroom every 10 minutes because I swear I have my period. 

4. When is your first or next appointment? 
We go for our first ultrasound on May 30th.

5. Rants/raves/whatever 
No rants.  I want to feel happy and excited because I've wanted this for so long but right now I'm just very nervous. 

6. GTKY: what was the first CD you ever bought?
Vanilla Ice (don't judge)  

LoneStar21416

I'm kind of struggling today. I just have a general sense of uneasiness. The mantra "today I am pregnant" has never really resonated with me because my first loss was a MMC. Does anyone else have any good mantras or affirmations you've used when the uneasiness or anxiety starts to ramp up?

ceclarlinetlo

I don't have an affirmation that works for me, but it does help me to know people that people understand my fears and are rooting for me - so just know you are not alone in your anxiety and I am rooting so hard for your little bean to keep growing healthy into your rainbow baby!