Article: "How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby"

mylittleversailles

"The widely cited statistic that one in three women ages 35 to 39 will not be pregnant after a year of trying, for instance, is based on an article published in 2004 in the journal Human Reproduction. Rarely mentioned is the source of the data: French birth records from 1670 to 1830. The chance of remaining childless—30 percent—was also calculated based on historical populations."

This was an extremely interesting article from a few years ago, full of new-to-me facts about the realities of TTC, some oft quoted stats and the changing tide of how we put our families together.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

chloe97

I read that article when I was 34 and waiting for H to be ready to get married and start a family. I loved it then. In fact as recently as after my last miscarriage, I posted it in multiple places for encouragement. Now I hate it. It may be easy for the author to get pregnant and have 3 kids after 35 but someone else may have to fight and ensure multiple losses just to just have 1 biological kid after starting at 25. Nobody knows- it's up to your own personal genetic profile and health history. What an RE tells you based on your personal testing is going to be a lot more accurate than what statistics in an article tell you and as many of us on this board can tell you, no odds are reassuring when you've been the 1 in 300 that something bad has happened to.

mylittleversailles

@Chloe97 I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. Really, really sorry.

chloe97

Oh my gosh, no worries! Like I said, I loved this article until life dealt me lemons. I'm obviously in a raw place right now, so sorry if it seemed like I was jumping down your throat. Just venting about unfairness about all of this!

Hexie

I’ve been thinking about this article, since I actually read it, and read the author’s book as well when benched after my loss. I appreciated the overall positive tone back then. Now looking back, I see that it might have made my TTCAL more stressful by overpromising an outcome that did not materialize. 

My first TTC I wasn’t rejecting possibility of requiring ART, took BFNs easy, and, surprise, got a BFP. My TTCAL I was sure I’d get pregnant naturally, took BFNs very hard, and, surprise, I might still need ART at the end.  And reading how good everything could have been if I was in the lucky majority, just makes me feel insignificant...

@chloe97 I'm so sorry about your situation. This article must be painful to read right now.