Nighttime Sleep Routine (my DH is making me want to rip my hair out) — The Bump
February 2016 Moms

Nighttime Sleep Routine (my DH is making me want to rip my hair out)

Alright so I know there was a prior thread about sleep schedules thay talked alot about nap schedules a month or so ago - but I don't think this really falls into that. 

My issue is more with nighttime Sleep routines to try and get our baby to know that now is the time to rest. I've monitored my baby and know he goes down for longest sleep btwn 1030 and 11 and have started a schedule around that: last minute active time to burn off any excess steam, change into PJs, feed, read and lullaby. It works REALLY well for me. 

The problem is that my husband and I try to switch shifts between first half if the night and second half of the night. When he has the 1st half of the night... it normally ends up I put our son down anyway. Or alternatively when I try to get my husband to put our baby down when he's taken 1st shift he tells me that I need to just let him do what is best for our son and stop "hamstringing" him if I'm going to force him to put our son to sleep because "obviously" our son isn't tired at all and my DH will take him downstairs and watch TV till our boy falls asleep. Sometimes I go downstairs (when switching out the ice packs for our little milk cooler) that both he and baby have fallen asleep on the couch. That scares me bc 1)its dangerous and 2)my husband is the heaviest sleeper I know... he sleeps through baby cries, his morning work alarm and me shoving at him to turn his damned morning alarm off. 
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Re: Nighttime Sleep Routine (my DH is making me want to rip my hair out)

  • VMonteVMonte member
    ... so the post cut off and I don't know how to edit since I'm on my phone. Any advice on what to do? Maybe a middle ground I'm not seeing? I don't want to take over the entire night every night - but I don't want to be all fly by the seat of our pants either when it comes to how to put our baby to bed. 
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  • My husband and I were having a similar fight for a while . Only I always do night routine except for the three nights a week I work . Once he finally could see how quickly dd would fall asleep doing it my way did he finally get on board . It definitely wasn't over night more like it took a month plus but he finally did get it
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  • Maybe you need to do all the "1st shifts" and he needs to do all the second? If he gets tired of doing the 2nd shift stuff all the time, maybe he'll come around and do it your way.

    How often is LO up at night? I do all the night wakings (usually 2) since I EBF, and you get used to it. If your LO isn't up often, maybe you can take nights altogether and he can take over some other night time responsibility, like cleaning the kitchen, washing bottles, laundry, etc.

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  • It took us a while to find a good nightly routine, LO is 13 weeks and we've been EFF since 6 weeks.  We start nighttime routine at 730 and do bathtime, sing songs, bottle and then she's out, usually by 830.  DH always gives her the bottle unless he's working and then we switch off for the early morning feedings.  While he's doing that, I pick up the house and get the bottles ready for the next day.  It's been working really well for us now.  I had to force it little with him at first because he wanted to have all the lights on in her room and have his phone blaring pandora which would just keep her awake and fussy.  But he finally got it after several consecutive night of her falling right to sleep and sleeping through the night when I would put her to bed.

    If he's still up in the middle of the night, I agree that maybe have DH take that feeding and let you put LO down.  Then you might each be able to find a routine that works until he's sleeping through the night.
  • We found consistency is key.  Our LO is EFF has been sleeping mostly through the night since four weeks.   We both follow the same pattern and it doesn't matter who does what as long as we do the same thing.  This has also worked with my mom coming over and putting our LO down.   

    Between 8:30-9 we do a bath (if needed, we don't do one daily), we go to her bedroom and turn off all the lights except for the closet.  We turn on the same lullaby CD and we give her a bottle while rocking her in the glider.   Once she is done, we swaddle her and put her in the crib fully awake generally.  She tends to play if she isn't super sleepy, but within 30 minutes she is out until 6am.

    She did get a cold and we followed the same routine, but found she woke up around 3.  We would clear her nose out with the nose frida and give her a couple of ounces while following the same routine and she would go right back to sleep.  

    Maybe your husband can be with you for several nights while you put LO down.  I think being in the same room while we figured out our routine made a difference.   My husband also takes night duty three nights a week if she wakes up, so he wants her to go to sleep quickly and stay asleep.  haha  
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