How to keep pregnancy news a secret when asked point blank? — The Bump
Success after IF

How to keep pregnancy news a secret when asked point blank?

I also posted this on the Pregnancy after IF board.

We want to announce our pregnancy to our parents first. But we don't think they would be able to emotionally handle a loss, so we are waiting until we have passed the first trimester.  At that point we'll tell them, and after screening tests come back, we'll tell other friends and family.

However, there are two people who know in detail what we've been going through with fertility treatment (specifics of trying ovarian stimulation for a few cycles, then IUI, that I wasn't a candidate for IVF, etc..). One is local, and either she's figured it out, or I've been vague enough to ward off more questions.  The other friend is not local, and she'll be coming into town next week.  She's not staying with us, but we'll meet up and out of concern and care she'll want to know in detail how everything is going.  She asks often through e-mail/msg, etc..  And in her last message told me she dreamt I was 3-5 months pregnant! I replied "let's hope your dreams come true!".  How can I manage this situation? Is flat out lying my only choice? She has dealt with infertility herself for years, is in her mid-to-late forties so unlikely to conceive.  I want to handle this very carefully.  Telling her is absolutely not an option.  Despite the best intentions, I don't think she could keep it to herself. And I don't think it's fair for other people to know before my own mother does.

In general, I'm also already thinking of how I'll tell those in our lives who are or have struggled with infertility.  Because of our age group (me 40 - DH 45), we know many.


Me: 40 | DH: 45 | together 14 years

TTC since 9/2015

  • Low AMH (0.1), high FSH (23.7), low AFC (4), low responder to stimulation, given 0.5% chance of being able to conceive
  • High Risk Factors: AMA, APS (antiphospholipid syndrome), obesity, uterine fibroid, rh negative
  • SA: everything excellent
  • Began medicated cycles (clomid, ovidrel, follistim, estrogen, progesterone)
  • 1st IUI: 3/27/16, BFP: 4/11/16, EDD 12/18/16!!!

We trust and pray that God will continue to bless us with a full-term, smooth pregnancy and the delivery of a healthy baby.

Pregnancy Ticker
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