Moms of toddlers or older

F47

In search of advice. My 2 yr old DS has been a great sleeper for the past year. I'm talking in bed at 8 p.m., right to sleep, and waking up at 7 or sometimes even 8 the next morning. 

A few weeks ago he started having anxiety about going to bed. He wants the light on and his door wide open. That's all fine, but over the course of the week it has progressed to those things, plus calling Mommy back in in a terrified voice for reassurance, plus needing me to sit in his room while he went to sleep, and, as of the last two nights, multiple night wakings where he wakes up frantic, scared and crying. 

Last night I slept three hours (and not consecutively). As someone who has struggled with nightmares in the past, I'm heartbroken that he may be having them (or that he's just scared in general). 

He won't tell me that he's afraid, but it's clear by his actions. He's gotten a lot more jumpy lately, too. Especially if he hears a noise...even during the day.

I'm worried, but also I just neeeeed some sleep. I was expecting to have these kinds of nights again in October, not now!

Anyone have advice for handling the 2 yr. old sleep regression? We are trying a nightlight tonight. I'm trying with all my might to avoid letting him in our bed, because I'm afraid that will be a habit he won't want to break. 

(I did do a search on the Parenting 24 Months + board, but with so many accounts closed, it was hard to follow the answers on those threads).

TurtleMomma

Is he able to articulate what he's afraid of? Maybe some guided meditation before bed to help relax?

PrimRoseMama

You can try some relaxing music, but in my experience this is just a phase and you have to ride it out. Its a little bit exhausting but reassuring him through this is really the only thing you can do.

ball4768

My DD went through the same exact thing around age 2. We got her a lamp (because the nightlight wasn't cutting it for her) and I stuck around in the room until she fell asleep. I've read some articles that say to gradually decrease the amount of time that you spend in the room, but that never worked for us. When she got a little bit older, we started a reward system for going to sleep on time (because she would delay going to sleep) and also for staying in her room all night long. Good luck- this was one of the hardest phases to go through for me. 

nlane0723

I put mine in a kennel. Kidding kidding.  I've just realized that we both sleep if she's in bed with us so for now, that's how I'm dealing. On nights where I don't fall asleep quickly, I let her fall asleep in our bed and then transfer her to hers. It works about 40% of the time, but she usually ends up in our bed again at 2 or 3.

So I'll commiserate with you because I'm struggling too.

TheBeeCharmer

I don't have advice but just offering solidarity. Been experiencing horrible sleep issues with my now 4 year old since he turned three. His is anxiety related and he doesn't seem to be afraid of dreams etc, but being left alone. My husband works lots of nights and that makes it worse. It has gotten a lot better with lots of reassurance but still a work in progress. Hope it gets better for you soon. 

klv

It's likely a phase. He is prob going through a growth spurt or learning a new skill that can mess with sleep patterns. 

Nightlights work for us but DD also likes to have the light in the hall on when she goes to bed. I agree, try to find out what he is afraid of. "Monster Spray" works for some kids but he may be too young to work that himself. 

Rather than put him in your bed, can you put him on the floor in your room?  Is he in a crib or bed? 

jeng100

I think you just have to ride out the phase. We got my (almost) 3 year old a night light and a dream catcher to "catch" her bad dreams. Seemed to help. 

Schell2013

My daughter did this when she was just over two, and it was after we moved her to a toddler bed. We could keep her in her bed to save our lives. She didn't appear too scared, just somewhat confused and had terrible separation anxiety when i took her back to bed. I ended up putting her back in a crib for a month cause it was Brutal and waking the whole house up. I would just tell her to lay down, there was nothing to be scared of. We would pray (if that's your thing) and I would say I love you and good night. I would wait a bit and if she was still sobbing in 5 minutes I would repeat it, and then stretch the time out until she fell asleep. I never took her out and the third time I went in I just laid her down and didn't say anything. 
I am okay with leaving my kid to cry it out to some extent but she also isn't the type that gets more worked up. 
By the third night I would go in once and not again after that. 

LizaKate1213

It's a normal age for night terrors to begin. His imagination is also kicking in and shadows and noises of the night are probably more frightening. Keep a consistent bed time routine every night that includes something soothing such as a peaceful story, keep reassuring him that mommy/daddy are there, and with time it will pass. Don't try to wake him when he screams at night, just lay with him or wait for it to pass. Waking him and trying to re-orient him could do more harm than good as he will wake up very confused and more upset. Good luck!

F47

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and commiseration. Last night was better, he only woke up once. He went back to sleep quickly after a cuddle in the rocker. But, when I laid him down he woke up and asked me (in the sweetest voice) to, "stay a wittle bit." So, I just sat on the floor next to his crib for 5 minutes.

He's REALLY into superheros, which I'm not fond of, but he discovered them from an older cousin and has been obsessed. I hid all of his superhero books before bed (they're very tame, but still), and we focused on some Peppa Pig and Go Dog Go. That seems to have helped as well. Yet, he still called me in after I put him to bed and begged to have his Ironman figurine in bed with him.

I'm hoping this will be a phase where some nights it's really rough, but some nights (like last night), we get some reprieve.

F47

@klv Yeah, it's tough. He's very mature for two, but he's still only two. So, I can't try any of those monster spray concepts yet. Also, I wonder if that might just convince him that monsters are real (if that is what he was afraid of)...

Maybe it's just time to get him a big boy bed and I can at least sleep in there with him on the bad nights, and actually get some sleep myself. Granted, a major change right now may be a bad idea. Ah, parenting.

blessyourheartmama

My 3 yr old son has not had sleep issues, but he is acting out more for attention.  He's picking up on that the new babies (twins) will be a major change for our family.

My nephew did have night terrors around this same age.  He'd wake up screaming, and it was just a phase he outgrew.

aesthyerin

My almost 3 year old had one of those turtle lights that would turn off after 45 minutes. A few months ago she started waking up and crying that it was off. We found one that plugged in and stayed on all night. Maybe that would help?

Mum4boys

Our son is 3yr old and he also has a night light he was doing that to us, until recently he told us the shadows scared him so when I put him to bed we do shadow puppets with our hands, we put our hands near the night light and make butterflies,  and dinosaurs lol. After that I sing him 2 lullabies and he's alot more relax,  for the past 4m he's been sleeping through the night. Thankfully cause I don't want to struggle with 2 babies.

mothernorth

My DD did that too, same age, same actions to a T. What was the magic cure? One of those light up pillows with the timer and a cute night light.
I hope it's as easy for you to remedy as it finally was for us. She would wake up just absolutely shaking and wanted to get in bed with me, it was heartbreaking, BUT it was just a phase. 
Good Luck!
PS
DS is 8-years-old, he had a short spell of night terror last summer. So you may or may not get to look forward to this again in a few years. 

F47

@AllyTheKid I didn't know light up pillows existed! Definitely going to look into that. Sounds like something he would LOVE. 

Sorry that hat you dealt with the same thing with your DS at 8. I can sympathize with DS. I had horrible nightmares most of my life and dread that for him.

mothernorth

Pillow pets for the win!