Venting

shelbydd

My son is precious and wonderful and I love him dearly. However, he is not an easy baby. He doesn't sustain himself AT ALL. He won't play by himself other than the occasional 5 or 10 minutes and a lot of times even that is pushing it. Here lately he won't nap unless I am holding him. If I put him in his crib (or down anywhere for that matter) nap time is over within 5 to 10 minutes and he ends up cranky and miserable a lot sooner than he would if I just let him nap on me.. Which means that's what I now end up doing. I am a sahm so you'd think I'd be able to get things done during the day but big fat nope. He requires me to constantly be playing with or entertaining him in some way. At the very least I have to be in the room with him and he has to be able to get to me. Example, I have a playyard up- I can not put him in it and expect him to be okay. At all. Because then he can't get to me. I'm glad he's so attached to me but it's gotten to the point I literally get nothing done during the day. I don't even get to eat most of the time unless I just let him sit and cry which is miserable for both of us. He ends up red faced and so worked up that it takes me a long time to calm him and console him back down. Of course all of this means that anything I need to get done like laundry, eating, washing bottles, etc.. I have to do once he's in bed for the night (the one time he does okay in his crib) which leaves me no time to do anything that I want. Everything I do right is basically just out of necessity which is making me feel very overwhelmed and frustrated.

My best friends son is 3 months older than mine and they are polar opposites. Her son has been able to play by himself happily for an hour, sometimes two, since he was like 5 months old. He's a happy kid. So when I vent to her I know she tries to understand but it's obvious our struggles in that department are far different.

I keep telling myself he will outgrow this but when you don't know when it can be rough.

rjanice

Did my son clone himself? Ronen does this on most days.  It's exactly what you said,  exhausting.  Every now and again I'll muster up the courage to put him in the crib,  close the door and NOT turn on the monitor for 30 minutes just to get a lil quiet while i wash dishes/clothes. There's the rare occasion that he plays by himself or at least a foot away from me while I get something done.  Ive learned how to do dishes with him sitting on the countertop next to the sink (not ideal but whatever) and laundry with him in a clothes basket or climbing over the mounds of clothes. Hugs to you. Its frustrating and overwhelming.  I definitely understand your struggle 

mrsmctaggart6

This has been my little girl her entire life, until last week, I finally started putting her down in her pac& play and she was fine... I'm not sure what changed, and I still don't get a whole lot of time but it's so much better than it was when she needed me to constantly entertain her, I still need to be in sight but I'll take what I can get, lol... One thing that has really helped me stay sane is putting her in her stroller for her afternoon nap, she goes right out and I get some exercise and if I'm lucky when I get back I can sometimes scarf down lunch before she wakes up, lol... I also just keep telling myself I'll miss this when she's 13 and wants nothing to do with me, haha

laurapaine2003@yahoo.com

Your LO sounds like my daughter, minus the naps. She naps in her crib, but everything else is the same - I can't do ANYTHING when she is awake - she is so high maintence. It's exhausting and I am so behind on work, laundry, dishes, everything. I have to wait till she goes to bed at 7pm then drive 30 min into town to workout, get groceries, run all errands, then drive 30 min back and sacrifice sleep to accomplish anything. I wish so bad she could just play by herself and be content even if just for a small amount of time!!!!

Kelliek327

This sounds like my son for the first 10 weeks of his life.  He screamed at me if I set him down, and I had to hold him for every nap.  He hated when I sat down so I just had to walk laps around my house ALL DAY LONG.  On a few occasions I just had to set him in his crib for 2-3 minutes so I could walk away and let my frustration/tears out. I don't know what happened but one day he just completely chilled out.  Like literally overnight he just woke up a different baby.  I was so exhausted from just those 10 weeks, I can't even imagine what you are going through.  

My guy still has the occasional day when he wants to be held constantly.  If he's being particularly clingy and I have things to do, I've found that dancing/singing/doing silly things as I set him down nearby and do my chores sometime distracts him from the fact I'm not holding him anymore.  It doesn't always work, but sometimes does.  At the very least, any of the neighbors who can see in my windows probably get a kick out of how silly I look!

jwebbbber45678

My baby is fine playing by himself but naps and bed time he needs to be sleeping in our bed next to one of us or he's up every twenty minutes crying. I can't leave him in bed alone so that means I'm often on bed pretty early every night. He used to be clingy like your baby then one day I put him in the jumperoo in front of the tv and put a Baby Einstein video on and he loved it. I felt bad because he was so young and I know screen time shouldn't be happening yet but it was the only way I could get time to do anything! He's definitely better at hanging out for longer periods of time without me now but when he's acting fussy and clingy and I really need to cook, clean or shower, I put him in the play yard and put on the Baby Einstein. It's ridiculous how much he loves it, he'd be entertained for hours if I let him watch it that long! I'd say give it a try, they are free to watch on YouTube and supposed to be somewhat educational. Don't feel guilty if you do it for just 10-30 minutes a day so you can make and enjoy a sandwich or something! It really helped us!

shelbydd

Thanks for all the responses guys! I'm glad I'm not alone in this. He's been this way basically since he started staying awake longer than he was sleeping (so what, like 3 months old?) He has times when he's better but when we go through leaps it's even worse.

@jweber4747 I have baby Einstein videos and the cd. I have no issue with doing screen time if it works! Unfortunately my son has no interest in it.

ElleMF728

Something that works for us: I put my LO in his walker and let him snack on puffs or crunchies while I do whatever is it I need to do.  It keeps him happy and I can still monitor him while taking a little break.  In fact, I frequently feed him dinner in it while I cook dinner for the rest of us.  Just bring him in the kitchen and throw some fruits/veggies on the tray while I periodically give him a spoonful of puree.  He loves it and I am able to keep track of our meal at the same time. 

I've also noticed that being outside keeps him occupied much longer than being inside so I will occasionally just bring my laptop outside and pop him in his jumper on the deck on on a blanket in the yard with a few toys.  The kids run around and get some fresh air while I listen to talk radio and bump.  We have an awesome bubble machine that hypnotizes both of them for about 30 minutes lol. 

Play around with some different things that may keep him busy.  Kids like to play with weird things.  Tupperware and wooden spoods/ladles are the reason I have time to do the dishes several times a day and cook dinner.  He just plays under my feet.  He also really loves these little golf balls that he chases around the house.  He picks them up, tosses them and then crawls over to repeat the process. Does he like splashing in the tub? Try putting down a towel and fill a container with a little water and bath toys.  You'll have to wipe it up afterward but clean up isn't too bad. 

Do you have an activity table? Both boys love ours and it was pretty inexpensive.  If LO isn't standing yet the legs are removable so I would previously take two off and put it on an angle for sitting play.  

We also play music constantly.  They seem to do better with independent play with it on in the background. 

booksandcleverness81

On any given day it's impossible to guess what will pacify my LO. Sometimes he will play on his mat or jumparoo happily for 20 min max, sometimes I have to turn on music or kids videos, sometimes nothing works and he's a whiny cranky butt all day. I wear him a lot to get stuff done. Of course, when my hubby watches him he says the baby will play happily on the ground for an hour straight... I don't think that has ever happened to me. Not fair!!! 

LoveLee85

I use to work 30 hours a week on top of commuting 2.5 hours to and from college full time(7 classes, 1 online)!!! My house was always tidy and clean. I'm a SAHM and nothing gets done. I'm so mentally drained by the time baby finally might take that one short afternoon nap, that I veg out. The days fly by when you spend 2-5 hours trying to put also down for each nap and bedtime!!! All I do is try to get him to sleep. It's Noon and I have yet to have time to make coffee or breakfast. Sigh. 

ForeverEverAfter

LO keeps entertained by emptying baskets, and destroying big sister's block towers. Our whole main floor is child proofed because I have a daycare, so that gives her a lot of freedom to explore (all the lowest shelves in the living room and playroom have her toys or treasure baskets of safe objects to explore. If you google 'montessori treasure basket _month old' it gives great ideas. She's starting to explore her object permanence box, also really likes things that roll (cloth puzzle ball, toy tractor, cars). The music shelf is right by the door of the playroom and distracts her from leaving. She'll wave maracas or chew on the ends.

All the things you listed are things I do while wearing LO in my wrap or Chimparoo trek (while she's happy playing I sit down with coffee and fold laundry, or make a grocery list, etc). Vacuuming, cooking (I put her on my back for that), washing dishes... do you have a carrier? If you could do the tasks with her, it would free up your evenings. The only things I do at night are mopping floors and toy sanitizing (only on days I have daycare kids-and only because it's in our regulations).