Worst Mother's Day ever

missphil

I ended up shopping for food and cooking for my entire family and had to wolf down my own lunch because the the little one was getting crabby. Then he wouldn't nap so I muttered some complaint and I put him in the wrap. My sister started to tell me something like "well if he's not tired..." To which I snapped back "I don't want to hear it" (because I get criticism constantly from my family). She got upset and then later told me I was constantly negative and always sending my son the message that he wasn't good enough. I tried explaining for the thousandth time that if I don't put him down for a nap he will be overtired bla bla bla. Then she later told me that if she was a mom she would be grateful every day. She said it was hard being around me because I'm negative and she might not have kids. She said it makes her sad and angry when I tell her that she can't possibly understand what it is like.
But she *can't* understand what it's like to be exhausted and spend hours trying to feed or nap the little one. Of course I get frustrated.
How ironic is it that i'm criticized for the way I mother on Mother's Day?

Anyone else have a fiasco Mother's Day?

DandT2point0

I'm sorry your Mother's Day was a fiasco, @missphil. It's easier said than done but I think sometimes- especially with family- you just need to fake it till you make it. Let them say whatever and give their critiques. You know your child best regardless of anyone's opinion. Smile, nod your head, and let it in one ear and out the other. And stop explaining/defending yourself because it makes no difference to them anyway!! 

MomofEv+1

Oh god. Are you kidding me? I may have punched my sister for saying something like that. She sounds completely clueless, but also like a self righteous jerk. Unfortunately in these situations it's almost always better to turn the other cheek, which is easier said than done. She may get it if she ever has kids, she may not. But I don't think being grateful and getting frustrated are mutually exclusive. You can be both. 

kkarik

Last Wednesday, my dog ate an entire bottle of vitamin d pills.  We took her to the vet, they helped her vomit and we had to take her Thurs-sun to get blood draws. Thursday, my daughter got a stomach bug that's been going around.  After rushing around with the pup and being covered in baby vomit, I was looking forward to relaxing on my first mother's day. At 3 am Sunday morning, DH woke up with LO's stomach bug.  I spent Mother's Day taking baby and dog to the vet on my own, cleaning vomit, and ordering myself takeout for dinner.  At least all are better now!  ☺

laurabwalker

Mine was spent with a teething four month old getting two teeth and my husband gone on a business trip  

BethP321

My mother flew 2k miles to come to my sons baptism on Mother's Day.  She lives across the country and hadn't seen him since he was born, and the rest of our family lives at most 1 hour away so they have plenty opportunity to see the baby.  The baptism was lovely but during the luncheon I felt like I was in a constant battle of letting the rest of the family hold him versus letting my mom spend as much time with her grandson as possible before she flew home later that day.  And when she left I was such a blubbering baby that I cuddled my son in bed for the rest of day crying while my hubby went to the bar.  THE BAR?  Where's MY break?  Lord only knows what he'll do on Father's Day.

misamima

That's just the point. People without kids really just don't understand. I always tell family and relatives that LO has a nap schedule to follow. I don't care if the President or God himself is over visiting. LO needs to go down and/or stay down for a nap. I'm the one who has the endure the wrath that is overtiredness or overstimulation if naps are screwed with.

Sorry for the bad day. 

BostonBaby1

I'm sorry you had a bad Mother's Day. 

By the title "Worst Mother's Day ever" I assumed something awful had taken place on Sunday. Maybe you just meant worst Mother's Day since you became a mother? I'm not trying to be rude, but I see your sister's point about negativity if that is the case, but I'm more of a glass half full person.missphil said:

I ended up shopping for food and cooking for my entire family and had to wolf down my own lunch because the the little one was getting crabby. Then he wouldn't nap so I muttered some complaint and I put him in the wrap. My sister started to tell me something like "well if he's not tired..." To which I snapped back "I don't want to hear it" (because I get criticism constantly from my family). She got upset and then later told me I was constantly negative and always sending my son the message that he wasn't good enough. I tried explaining for the thousandth time that if I don't put him down for a nap he will be overtired bla bla bla. Then she later told me that if she was a mom she would be grateful every day. She said it was hard being around me because I'm negative and she might not have kids. She said it makes her sad and angry when I tell her that she can't possibly understand what it is like.
But she *can't* understand what it's like to be exhausted and spend hours trying to feed or nap the little one. Of course I get frustrated.
How ironic is it that i'm criticized for the way I mother on Mother's Day?

Anyone else have a fiasco Mother's Day?

2winterbabies

@BostonBaby1 I completely agree. It sounds like your sister was just trying to help or comfort you. Maybe you were a little frustrated yourself because you said the baby wouldn't nap and argued back, but I don't see what your sister did to make you so upset like that. Of course, she can't understand what it is like to have kids, but when she said to you "  She said 'it was hard being around me because I'm negative and she might not have kids." Are *you* negative all the time?  One PP said you just kind of have to turn your head the other day when your sister without kids may suggest something because I'm sure you were right, your LO needed to sleep. Instead of arguing, kindly explain the situation and why you have to do what you got to do, even though it may be the 10th time, it's your sister so have patience. You got to understand who you were really mad at was your LO for not napping and probably crying her/his head off. I get that way too and I am always saying sorry it seems. I am tired of saying sorry so I am trying to make conscious effort to not get angry quickly when tired and LO won't nap.

missphil

Thanks for your replies! Sorry for the hyperbolic title- I was tongue-in-cheek being dramatic. But I don't think I should get insulted about how I choose to raise my kids on Mother's Day of all days. I am not negative all the time.. My sis is older and has a history of "knowing what is best for me" so I put my foot down and she took it personally. She has since apologized and although it is still slightly awkward, I'm sure we will go back to bring besties in no time. I just need to set clearer boundaries with her. 

missphil

kkarik said:

Last Wednesday, my dog ate an entire bottle of vitamin d pills.  We took her to the vet, they helped her vomit and we had to take her Thurs-sun to get blood draws. Thursday, my daughter got a stomach bug that's been going around.  After rushing around with the pup and being covered in baby vomit, I was looking forward to relaxing on my first mother's day. At 3 am Sunday morning, DH woke up with LO's stomach bug.  I spent Mother's Day taking baby and dog to the vet on my own, cleaning vomit, and ordering myself takeout for dinner.  At least all are better now!  ☺

Glad you guys are all better. Maybe ask your husband for a raincheck Mother's Day?

kkarik

missphil said:

kkarik said:

Last Wednesday, my dog ate an entire bottle of vitamin d pills.  We took her to the vet, they helped her vomit and we had to take her Thurs-sun to get blood draws. Thursday, my daughter got a stomach bug that's been going around.  After rushing around with the pup and being covered in baby vomit, I was looking forward to relaxing on my first mother's day. At 3 am Sunday morning, DH woke up with LO's stomach bug.  I spent Mother's Day taking baby and dog to the vet on my own, cleaning vomit, and ordering myself takeout for dinner.  At least all are better now!  ☺

Glad you guys are all better. Maybe ask your husband for a raincheck Mother's Day?

Thanks!  We're going to try next Saturday.  

mhwood

Yeah...it was pretty crappy. 2 days before we found our our youngest might have cerebral palsy.

missphil

so sorry to hear that