Husband is an anxious wreck...

silverwood

Okay...so, I have an issue regarding my husband's childcare abilities. He's mostly great- when I'm here. He changes diapers, walks with baby and talks to baby. However, he freaks out about everything. He is so anxious. Yesterday, he thought he "pushed" too hard on our son's head when trying to get him out of his poopy onesie, and he freaked out and started yelling for me to "come quick." I was in a panic and thought my baby rolled off the changing table or something. He was absolutely fine. There was nothing wrong with him. Our son is mostly very calm and laid back, but if he does cry for whatever reason- my husband freaks out and thinks there is something really wrong. He stops being able to think clearly, and just wants to hand him off to me and acts like he's having a panic attack. I am going back to school in August to finish my RN degree, and my husband is going to stay home with our son during the day while I'm in class. I am having real doubts about his abilities, and...common sense about how to do things. I don't want to make him feel bad, or make him feel incompetent, but I am nervous. I suggested that he take a childcare/first aid class and he has agreed. So, I know there are classes through the Red Cross, but will he be in class with a bunch of teenage babysitters? There must be classes for parents? I don't know if I'm overreacting. Maybe he will get better and feel more comfortable by August. Our baby will be 6 months old then. Any advice or experience is welcome. Thanks. 

jordans_wife

Lol this makes me laugh. I think most men are somewhat like this. He'll gain confidence as it does it more often. It sounds like he does well with him but just lacks confidence and blows things out of proportion. The 1st aid class is a good idea no matter what and will probably be a mix of people. Parents, Healthcare workers, etc. I would keep your phone on you a lot though for a while til he gets more comfortable. 

VitaLuna

He may be a lot more comfortable when Augusy rolls around. Tiny infants just feel so breakable to some people, and it will probably get better when LO is a little less floppy and bigger/more sturdy. For now, just model good parenting and talk out loud when he's around ("oh LO, you're crying? Well, I already changed your diaper and you're not hungry. Maybe we should switch positions." Plant the seed so he knows the checklist to go through in his head.)

As for classes, look for a Daddy Bootcamp, New Dad's Class or something similar. My hospital offers them. 

ashton2190

He sounds a lot like my husband. If she doesn't stop crying within 15 seconds he's convinced that a) she's dying and b) there's nothing he can do for her. If I had a dollar for every time he's suggested taking her temperature when she's cranky or immediately handed her back and said she's hungry, I wouldn't need the mortgage for our house. I'm hoping it passes and that Wednesday goes well because it's my first day back at work and he has her all day!

willkc

My husband was exactly like that for the entire time I was on leave, and I was so nervous to go back (Monday was my first day) as he is with my son all day till he goes to the sitter at 3. To my surprise though, he has completely turned around. Monday and Tuesday were shaky as he adjusted it, but he has become a totally different person these last few days and is so much more confident. I think the practice and getting used to LOs schedule without me around really helped

silverwood

Just to update... he is going to take a class. Not only that, but my 15 year old son wants to take the class with him, so he can learn how to take care of his baby brother. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever. Things are not so bad. Thank you all for sharing with me. Have a great day. 

4N6s

I think he will be fine! 
Go out for short periods so he can't rely on you. Good luck.