DS is 3 1/2 and has just recently started acting out. Among the worst of our problems is when we ask him to do anything, he yells, 'No!'. We have tried time-out, but he continues to get out. We keep putting him back in. He eventually ends up hitting walls, hitting us, screaming, etc. We don't let the time start until he stops those things, so he ends up in time-out for 30 minutes or more. We give repeated warnings leading up to transitions and set timers, but that doesn't help curb tantrums. We have taken toys if he won't pick them up and that doesn't phase him. Today, I said, 'You can pick up or I will take your grocery cart.' He replied, 'OK, take it.' I've tried giving him choices, but most of the time, he won't even pick, he just get mad that he can't do exactly what he wants. We have a 7 month old, too. We've tried making more big brother time, and that's curbed some of it, but not much. I'm desperate for any help! Today, I lost my cool and ended up spanking him. I felt so terrible afterward and I apologized for mommy losing her cool. I know it's normal for kids this age to assert their independence, but I'm at a loss for how to deal with it anymore. Thanks for reading this long!