Tdap & Family/Friends

MamaKSquared

I'm curious how everyone is handling this. I've briefly only mentioned it to my dad and he pretty much brushed me off. I hate for it to come down to a - "well, if you want to visit baby, this is what you have to do" type of conversation, but I'm also not going to put my baby at risk unnecessarily, especially when there's such a simple solution. I haven't mentioned it to my mom yet, but I could also see some pushback from her. She's one of those types of people who think - "Well, we didn't do that with you and you're fine". Neither of them are anti-vaccers, they just don't go to the dr for anything. Just wondering if I'm the only one with the crazy family.

What about friends who may visit often, did you ask them to vaccinate as well? How did you bring up the subject?

bearsandbeets7

With DD I got the Tdap but no one else in my family did and neither did DH. I want to protect my children from as much as possible but I get the Tdap while I'm pregnant, it was around 36 weeks last time, so some of that passes to the baby and provides some protection before LO gets their first one at 2 months.

SkiChic626

I asked anyone who would be around often or caring for DD to get tdap and they all did.  My dad and sister weren't happy about it, because they're whiners in general, but they all did it.

lucypod

My doc told me to get Tdap shot while I'm pregnant so that i could pass along some immunity to the baby.  DH and his parents are covered because they got them 2 years ago for my nephew, but she said my parents should get them.  When I told this to my mom she said "well if you're getting it while you're pregnant and the baby will have immunity, why do we need to get them?"  I didn't really have an answer for her.  I'll ask my OB next time I'm there but I'm curious about that also.

MamaKSquared

lucypod said:

My doc told me to get Tdap shot while I'm pregnant so that i could pass along some immunity to the baby.  DH and his parents are covered because they got them 2 years ago for my nephew, but she said my parents should get them.  When I told this to my mom she said "well if you're getting it while you're pregnant and the baby will have immunity, why do we need to get them?"  I didn't really have an answer for her.  I'll ask my OB next time I'm there but I'm curious about that also.

I also plan on getting it. From my understanding, this passes some immunity to the baby, so people who may be around baby getting it just provides extra protection.

SkiChic626

@lucypod said:

My doc told me to get Tdap shot while I'm pregnant so that i could pass along some immunity to the baby.  DH and his parents are covered because they got them 2 years ago for my nephew, but she said my parents should get them.  When I told this to my mom she said "well if you're getting it while you're pregnant and the baby will have immunity, why do we need to get them?"  I didn't really have an answer for her.  I'll ask my OB next time I'm there but I'm curious about that also.

It's really pretty simple.  Your baby won't necessarily have immunity, but you getting it will pass along some of the antibodies so it's better than nothing.  Plus, it's like any other vaccine, they're not 100% effective.  God forbid your mom got pertussis, she could still pass it to baby, especially before baby gets his/her own vaccine once old enough.  The more people who are vaccinated against it, the less likely it is to spread.  Plus, it should be considered preventative care and be 100% covered, so all your mom needs to do is find a few minutes to stop into a CVS minute clinic to get it.

AmandaG225

I got it when I was pregnant with my first, as well as DH and both my parents. We will all get boosters this time around as well. My ILs refused the first time around so I don't even intend to bring it up this time.

Mrsrundell

I really cannot understand why people have so much push back on this!! When my nephew was born I just went to Walgreens and was done in 5 minutes! 

My inlaws all have it already for nephew and my family is getting it done - no questions asked, they understand and respect our wishes.  

Not many things piss me off but, immediate family complaining about this is at the top of that list!! 

Ceventa

When I was pregnant with DS the doctor expressed to me that it's most vital for those who plan on having direct and extended contact with the baby to have the tDAP. I got the shot when I was pregnant with him, so did DH. When it came to the family, which was my sister and our parents, I was not going to bend on this because I was not going to risk my baby's health simply to "not hurt feelings". We simply said, "the doctor says its necessary for the health of your grandchild/nephew and if you want to be able to hold him then you need to get the shot. It's covered by your insurance and available from your doctor". No one had a problem with it, I think mainly because we made it a very firm statement and clear to them that it was necessary. However, for people like my grandparents who are in their mid to late 80s who are considered a part of a population where the shot might be too strong for them, they simply held off from holding DS for a little while but still visited regularly to see him. They perfectly understood and I appreciated that. 

For LO, my doctor said I need to get it again (you need a shot for each pregnancy), however DH and the family who got it for DS a little over 2 years ago don't need to since it's good for 10 years.

I know some people might think this was a little harsh, but while DH and I are really easy going with family and friends on certain things, this is something we were not willing to bend on. Every parent has those points that they feel strongly about with their baby and I appreciated that the family respected it. So for those people that refuse to get the shot for your baby, then hopefully they respect the boundary that comes along with it for a period of time.

charmedlifex3

I no kidding said "If you want to meet your grandson, this is what you need to do."

It devolved into a screaming fight with my father, but he is getting the shot. DH's parents (who live on the other side of the damn country) got it as soon as they heard we were expecting "just in case!" - especially since my parents are local and are already planning on watching him for extended periods of time, it was worth the battle, IMO.

My mother rolled her eyes but said okay.

DH will get the shot, but he reacts badly to vaccines, so it will take some planning (and possibly prednisone) but he is getting it.

Curls919

DH got it when DS was born (well, right before) and I made sure my ILs got it because they were watching him one day a week. I didn't make anyone else get it. 

SkiChic626

AmandaG225 said:

I got it when I was pregnant with my first, as well as DH and both my parents. We will all get boosters this time around as well. My ILs refused the first time around so I don't even intend to bring it up this time.

Will DH and your parents even need boosters yet?  They might not.....

MamaKSquared

Mrsrundell said:

I really cannot understand why people have so much push back on this!! When my nephew was born I just went to Walgreens and was done in 5 minutes! 

My inlaws all have it already for nephew and my family is getting it done - no questions asked, they understand and respect our wishes.  

Not many things piss me off but, immediate family complaining about this is at the top of that list!! 

Same here. DH and I both got it a few years ago when a close friend had a baby. She asked us and told us why. We had no problem with it. 

mmclark10

Only my mom (and our nanny) got it outside my husband and I.  No one else was spending that much time with DS that it seemed necessary.

DressageDarling

We asked all our immediate family members to get it. It's really not difficult to get at all. My parents and brother already got it taken care of, but I don't know about my in laws yet. We live out of state from our families, so they will probably be the only family visiting before the baby's baptism.

PeachGal23

With DD almost 2 years ago, all of our immediate family got it.  We didn't allow anyone outside of immediate family to hold baby if they visited in the hospital, and we didn't have visitors nor take baby out in public until a month old.  With this pregnancy, I'll be getting my TDaP at the 28 week visit, and my OB said my family members are still covered by their vaccination nearly two year ago.

charmedlifex3

I just emailed my dad this link and either I have been enough of a pest or this tipped him over into deciding to get it:

https://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/downloads/matte-grandparents.pdf

NBphotogirl

Crap, I was just thinking husband, me and my older son. I guess I will need to talk to both of our parents then. 

rvamom90

We're asking anyone in our family who plans on visiting us or holding our son to get it including grandparents and siblings. I'll be getting it before delivering and if DH hasn't gotten it in his annual round of vaccines for the military, he'll be getting it too. 

ginger819

DH got it shortly after I did with DD. My mom got it and MIL eventually did as well. My mom is mainly the only other person who watches her on a regular basis. 

Bookhousegirl

With DS we asked anyone who was going to be around often to get it (so parents and siblings). Luckily, my brother and sister-in-law had a baby a few months before us and they had gotten the ball rolling. We didn't enforce the rule with those who only saw DS every few weeks (our grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc). 

kristynmac

We recently got a letter about a mumps outbreak that is going around our sons school and my mom brought up the need for everyone to be updated on shots including the Tdap, before the baby gets here. I hadn't even thought of it yet, so I am glad everyone just agreed with her.

Jaspertheyoungturnip

We actually don't plan to vaccinate based on the research we've done and information from our midwife - as well as the fact that my fiancé was never vaccinated as a child, it doesn't feel like something we want to do. Despite this, I completely don't get people not respecting the parents wishes. Regardless of whether you agree with the choice, it's NOT yours to make as you are not the parent...grand-parent isn't good enough. I get so frustrated when my mom talks about spoiling my daughter, or her disagreements with my fiance and I's choices for her, because she is not the parent!! If I didn't ask for your opinion, then I don't want it!! Also, outright disrespecting me in the form of doing something I asked you not to that involves my child will 100% guarantee that your visits might become few and far between. 

Nikkoli98

Another point to consider.  The BMJ  (a very reputable peer reviewed medical journal) published a study in 2013 that found that the acellular pertussis component (in the TDaP) vaccine was only 53-64% effective in those age 11 and older. 

Some other studies suggest a higher efficacy, but the above study probably had the best study design due to the fact that they took the data during actual outbreaks. 

I agree with @Knottie1442786653, that each parent needs to decide what they think is best for their child/family/situation, but some may not be aware that this is widely known to be only a moderately effective vaccine, it's not a guarantee that your child won't be exposed.


Here is the journal title and reference:

Effectiveness of pertussis vaccines for adolescents and adults: case-control study

BMJ 2013; 347 doi: https://dx.doi.org/10.1136/bmj.f4249 (Published 17 July 2013)Cite this as: BMJ 2013;347:f4249

kiwico14

We asked our parents to get it, and they were all on board. We didn't worry too much about relatives we see infrequently. However, since DS was going into a daycare, we made sure we knew and were comfortable with the vaccination policy for kids and staff. 

ShanRum3

OK, Maybe I've been living under a rock, but until reading this thread, I have not heard anything about pregnant women and people who will be around baby getting the TDaP. Is this something new? My youngest DS is 6, so I'm wondering if this was just not the practice 6/7 years ago. My OB hasn't mentioned anything about it yet, so we'll see. Also, if my big kids are Up to Date on their vaccinations, they should be fine and not need a booster, right? I'm by no means an anti-vaccer, not that I have anything against someone who feels that is the best route for their family, but I honestly don't know if I'll get the shot or not, unless my OB feels it truly necessary, I won't. I don't even do the flu shot, and only got the H1N1 shot at the request of my OB when I was pregnant with DS2. I have also used a modified vaccination schedule with my other children and will probably do the same with this one.

jamiesc58

@ShanRum3 if your kids are up to date on their vaccinations they should be fine is what my doctor said. My dh had one last year and she said he is ok too since they last for like 10 years.My OB feels it is necessary for me to get the shots while pregnant as it is passed to the baby for protection. 

PineappleMD

@ShanRum3 it's not exactly a new recommendation, but since there have been a few outbreaks in the past few years it's being more strongly recommended.  Women are advised to get a booster every pregnancy, even if they're close together. 

The old vaccine used to last 10 years, but had side effects. The newer one is safer, but only lasting 4-5 years.  The most at risk group of having it & spreading it without knowing is the elderly (ie, grandparents and great-grandparents), and the most at risk group of dying from it is newborns - hence the family concerns. 

Honestly, having witnessed perfectly healthy newborns being hospitalized, with multiple tubes and IVs and machines attached just to help them stay alive, it's not even a question for me.  Once you see how easily things can go wrong - even with healthy babies and lots of hand-washing - it changes your outlook.

MamaKSquared

Yes - the CDC recommends getting the vaccination with every pregnancy.

https://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/pregnant/mom/get-vaccinated.html