Working Momma Guilt

Kimbarbour08

So I have now been back to work for about six weeks, although last week was my first full five day week, and I am having such massive momma guilt. My little man started going to daycare today (we were able to have family or friends watch him at first, but it was just getting too stressful to coordinate and people just weren't available) and I was so so sad! I have all the irrational thoughts running through my mind now; that he's going to love daddy more because he'll see him more than me (daddy watches him one day per week), that he won't know I'm his mommy, that he'll bond more with his caregiver . . . the list goes on and on. Ugh. It's a good thing I like my job, but this is still doing a number on me. How about you other momma's?

ashton2190

You literally just described my ugly-crying rant from last night. To a T. I go back on Wednesday and I'm so terrified and sad. Plus I'm worried that she's going to get sick/hurt and that she isn't going to get enough attention and will just be laying in a crib all day. This blows

VitaLuna

It's really hard. I had so much stress going back with DD1. It's hard at this age, but when they get a little bigger, they'll start having huge smiles when mama gets home, giving big neck hugs, saying I love you... and you'll know that you're the most important thing to them.

I looked at it this way: my mom was a single parent. I was in daycare from 7:30am-6pm M-F. I never felt unloved, like I missed out on something, that I liked the caregivers more than my mom, etc. i respect my mom for working to support her family. Our kiddos will feel the same!

Kimbarbour08

VitaLuna said:

It's really hard. I had so much stress going back with DD1. It's hard at this age, but when they get a little bigger, they'll start having huge smiles when mama gets home, giving big neck hugs, saying I love you... and you'll know that you're the most important thing to them.

I looked at it this way: my mom was a single parent. I was in daycare from 7:30am-6pm M-F. I never felt unloved, like I missed out on something, that I liked the caregivers more than my mom, etc. i respect my mom for working to support her family. Our kiddos will feel the same!

Thank you for this! I think I'm being a little extra hard on myself because my mom was able to stay home/work from home my whole childhood. I wish I could do that, but right now it's just not possible. It also seems like most of my friends and family with kids haven't had to use daycare (either momma works from home, works part time, can bring babe to work, or has a family member who's home all the time to watch babe), so that's been feeling extra challenging. Glad to hear your personal experience!

willkc

My mom was a stay at home mom also, and I wish wish wish I could experience that. As you mentioned though, it's just not an option right now.  I have the exact same feelings as you- I went back to work yesterday. He is with his daddy until 2 o clock, and then he gets dropped off at a sitter for a couple hours when my husband goes to work just until I get home. I keep trying to remind myself that I am his mommy and his only mommy forever! I will admit- I was so happy he did well for the sitter yesterday and was smiling and 'talking,' but part of me was bummed it went so smoothly the first day without me! Lol

Sarahbara60

I honestly never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom before I had LO or even while I was pregnant.  But now that I'm back at work I miss her so much and wish that I could just be home with her all the time like I was for 12 weeks.  I work at 6am which works out well in that I get time with her later in the day, but we usually do an early morning bottle before I leave so I get my cuddles before work.  Now she's sleeping through the night (yay!) and I don't get to do the bottle H does, and I'm jealous and sad because I don't get her early morning smiles until my days off.  She starts daycare today and I really hope she transitions well to a new place without family to watch her.  Is it time to pick her up yet...?

robinj716

I so wish I could be a SAHM. I hate going to work, but I have to, so I am learning to adjust. It sucks and I don't think anything anyone says makes it easier! 

sarahunderthesea

My LO will have been going to daycare for a month this coming Friday (where does the time go). I had a lot of the same concerns; her forgetting her mommy, being neglected in a crib, loving her daycare teachers more, the list goes on and on. But her face lights up when she hears my voice as I enter her daycare room and I have been blessed to be able to visit on a couple of breaks to see that the teachers are actively caring for her, reading books, singing, talking to her and the other babies. I would be a SAHM if I could in a heartbeat, but I feel so much better about daycare. They email me a picture or 2 during the day too and that helps. It hasn't gotten easier but it has gotten better.

emc3576

I was a working mom for my first and had these exact same feelings when I went back to work.  Her dad takes her to daycare and picks her up most of the time so I was sad that she would prefer him.  I do try to pick her up as often as I can and, three years later, I can tell you that her face lights up and she literally runs into my arms when I walk into daycare even if it's only once a month.  She says goodnight to me every night by telling me I'm her best pal.  It's hard and it sucks but she knows exactly who her mom is. 

Fullerj21

Being a working mom is hard but you learn to maximize and enjoy the time you do have with them. It gets easier too as time goes on. I go back to work Monday (2nd baby) and I know I'll be a mess but I know with time it will all be ok. Hugs ladies. 

mommyloni

I feel guilty that I don't feel more guilty...  I think it was easy for me because I only went back only part time for the first 6 weeks I was back at work.  I think that made the transition a lot easier.  But sometimes I feel bad that it was so easy for me to go back!!